Back To You
by CallMe DrEvil
Summary: Being a Victor meant you were alive, but you didn't get to live, did you? Not when the Capitol owned you. Johanna Mason never wanted to let the Capitol own her, and she payed heavily for it. The story of Johanna after her Victory in the 71st Hunger Games, as well as Catching Fire/Mockingjay in her POV. Katniss/Johanna - Joniss to come later!
1. Chapter 1

"Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present to you the Victor of the 71st annual Hunger Games!"

A sixteen year old axe wielding girl, covered in blood, bruises, and cuts stands over the slain body of a fallen tribute.

Johanna Mason. District Seven.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The citizens of the Capitol cheered. Loudly. They were craning their necks in an attempt to get a glance at their newest Victor. After all, these Victors were something like celebrities around there.

Johanna sat inside the covered chariot, somber face hidden by the tinted window. The Capitolites were banging at the window, trying to see her up close for the first time since being removed from the arean. Johanna wanted nothing to do with them.

The chariot was slowing to a stop. Within moments, Johanna was going to have to leave the safety of the chariot and be escorted backstage so she could have her Victory Interview with Ceasar.

"Remember to smile."

She looked up at the man who said that to her, face grim. It was Blight, the drunken former Victor from District Seven, and Johanna's mentor. She'd hated every moment she had to spend with him, as she had a hard time understanding why he chose to be drunk most of the time.

"I don't have to impress anybody anymore." She snarled, "I don't have to fake anything, these people don't need to think that I like them. As a matter of fact, why don't I just tell them to shove their affections up President Snow's -"

"Johanna stop!" Blight was clearly upset with her. She didn't want to shut up, but the chariot stopped and the door was about to open. Blight leaned in towards her. Close enough that she could smell the alcohol on his lips when he whispered, "They own you now. Do what they say if you don't want to spend the rest of your life miserable."

Johanna only shrugged at him with her careless attitude, as if his words weren't making sense. With that, the door opened and Johanna met the Capitol citizens with a death glare. They only seemed to cheer louder.

She knew she was never going to understand their logic.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

There was nothing but endless miles of trees as the train rode through at it's superb speed. Johanna stood in the back, leaning against the railing as she watched the trees pass.

Finally, she was going home. She never wanted to have to leave District Seven again, after what she had just been through. But the Games were her life now, she knew that. She'd be called out of the Capitol many times, not just for the games.

She was still shaken from the visit she'd had with President Snow the night before she left. "You're a beautiful young lady, Miss Mason." He'd said to her, "I'm sure the people of the Capitol would love you. Consider making use of these assets, why don't you?"

What was any of that supposed to mean anyway? Making use of her assets? Johanna wanted to just forget about the whole trip, about the people she ruthlessly murdered, about the people who cheered her name when she did...

District Seven. Home. They had arrived.

Johanna found herself quickly making her way to the front of the train, so that she could exit. There were already people outside, she couldn't make out who it was, but she could see and hear the people of her District.

At least this cheering wasn't the obnoxious kind. It was actually something she would embrace. When she smiled, it wasn't going to be forced or fake. She had never been happier to be anywhere else before.

The door opened, and the cheering increased, as the smiling Victor stepped out onto the platform along with her mentor. The pair waved. It appeared as if most of the District had shown up to welcome her home. They were proud of her, the first female Victor from District Seven. Not only that, but the entire District was going to get food and supplies for the entire year. For one year, nobody in her home was going to starve, and that was all thanks to her. She did this for them... and it felt good.

Her eyes scanned the large crowd of faces. She saw some of her old classmates. Some of her old co-workers. Her neighbors. Her mother, her father, her brothers, her best friend Ryker.

But there was one face missing. The most important one to her. The one that kept her going through the games. The face she thought of when she felt like giving up. Why weren't they here? Johanna's heart dropped at the realization that they hadn't shown up. Her smile... faded.

This must be what heart break feels like.


	2. Chapter 2

_"They can't hurt me. There's no one left I love." Johanna muttered to her baffled allies. She didn't say it just for them, though. It was also a reminder for herself, that no matter how much it hurt, the Capitol had stolen everything she loved and took them out of her life. She needed to turn around and walk away, because if she didn't she might find herself crying._

_Johanna Mason didn't cry. _

_Not anymore.  
_

* * *

KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.

"Why weren't you at the train station?" Johanna yelled, as she banged on the closed door of a worn out looking home. She looked genuinely hurt. Something wasn't making sense to her right now.

"I know you're in there! Open the damn door! Why the hell didn't you come to train station today? Just please open the door!"

Anyone who were to pass her in this moment might've called on a peacekeeper to handle this crazy young lady who seemed to be losing her mind. Luckily for her, nobody was passing by.

Finally the door opened. A pretty young woman stood there, probably sixteen like Johanna was. She had dark brown hair and a pair of very dark brown eyes. Her face was thin and a little dirty, but behind the dirt was a very beautiful young lady. Johanna froze at the sight of her.

"Corin." Johanna said, barely a whisper.

The girl barely acknowledged Johanna, and instead turned around back into her home, leaving the door open. Johanna closed it behind her.

"Why won't you just answer my question, Corin?" Johanna said, but quieter this time. Being in the girl's presence, she was softer now. She hadn't been this way at all in the Capitol.

Corin ignored her questions all together, "You didn't have to bang on my door like a madman, my mom is trying to sleep. Unless of course, the Games made you mad. If that's the case you're not welcome here."

Johanna's face was nothing but hurt by these words. "Why are you being so cold?" She took a step closer to Corin, "Nothing's changed. They didn't change me." She stroked Corin's bare arm, who recoiled at the touch. "Why are you doing this?"

Corin turned and faced Johanna in a harsh whisper, "You really want to tell me that they didn't change you? You're the same person? Even after you killed those people? You threw an axe into the head of a thirteen year old boy and you're fine?"

"What would you have done in my situation? Let them kill you? All I could think about was how you might feel if you had to watch me die because for a moment I actually thought you cared for me!"

Corin softened a little bit. "My feelings haven't changed for you at all Johanna. I was terrified every second, watching you, praying for you! You want to know what the worst part about it all was? I couldn't even let anybody know how I felt. If they knew, then the peacekeepers would've publicly executed me. I had to keep all of this to myself, and if you died I don't know what I'd do!" There was a long moment of silence for a while until she continued, "So I'm sorry I didn't show up to your home coming. I was afraid that after all of this I wouldn't be able to hold back, and you might've changed the way you thought of me."

Johanna didn't know how to respond to this, she looked at Corin who was looking at the floor, holding herself - as if she were trying to hold herself back. Johanna closed the distance between them, and gently lifted Corin's face so their eyes met.

"I'm feeling things that I've never felt before, after the entire experience. That's the truth, but it's only natural, for what I've just been through." Johanna whispered soothingly to the other girl. "But I've always known that I was going to be okay, because you would be here, waiting for me. To help me." A smile started to play on her lips. She had many people she cared for, but none more so that Corin, even if they both knew it wasn't right, and was considered illegal behind the walls of District Seven. That never scared Johanna before, though. Why should that change?

Corin loosened up, and placed her hands on Johanna's waist, pulling it closer to her own. "I've missed you so much Jo." She shook her head, "And I couldn't even talk about you. I couldn't share this with anybody." Johanna could feel that burning sensation, the one she hadn't felt in so long but had so desperately craved.

"You can now," Johanna whispered, kissing the other girl on the forehead, her hands caressing Corin's face. "You can share everything with me I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here."

She leaned in and kissed Corin with all the fierceness that was Johanna Mason. But more so than that, there was passion. Until, of course, Johanna pulled away. Corin stood frozen in place, wanting more. "Your mother could walk in here any minute." Johanna whispered. As if it were a cue, there was a noise from the back of the house. Corin's mother was awake. "But I'm moving into Victor's Village. Why don't you come over and visit for a little while?"

"You know I have to take care of my mother." Corin sighed. Johanna's smile fell. "But I'll come see it soon. I promise!" She pecked at Johanna's lips quickly before shoving the young Victor towards the door. Johanna didn't want to leave. Corin didn't want Johanna to leave. But this was the ultimate form of "secret love", at least in their District. They couldn't risk getting caught.

Johanna stumbled out of the doorway, about to say something to Corin, but she never got the chance as the door was slammed in her face. She sighed. No matter what her status was, this was always going to be tough.


	3. Chapter 3

_BOOM. _

_The all too familiar sound of the cannon rang out on the television screen. Corin sat on the edge of her seat. Her supper was left untouched on the table. She was far too nervous to eat. _

_There were only six tributes left now. Four Careers, a very young boy from District Nine, and of course, Johanna. God... Johanna looked so scared. She had spent the entirety of the Games running and hiding from the other tributes, but as the hours dragged on, Corin knew that Johanna was going to have to step out and fight soon. She couldn't go the entire games without some sort of confrontation. Not only that, but the Careers seemed to be growing weary, they wanted to end it. They'd been hunting down tributes all day, and Corin could do nothing but sit at watch as she knew the inevitable was going to happen. She was going to watch the woman she loved die right on the television screen._

_Sure, they were only sixteen. They shouldn't know what love was. But Corin knew it from the moment she met Johanna. She'd never been with another woman before, and neither had Johanna but there was something so special about their bond. Johanna was a firecracker, to say the least, but she was soft and sweet around Corin and it was something very special to her. She was beautiful, she was sweet, and sure there was a ferocity about her but Johanna couldn't hurt a fly. Could she?_

_Corin watched intently, as a small stream of blood started to drip from her hands from gripping the wooden chair too hard. The pack of Careers was closing in on her. They were calling out her name, as if this were some kind of game for them. Johanna was hidden in a hole in one of the trees, her eyes were closed. The Careers were getting closer._

_And closer. _

_"Johanna!" They called out, "Come out come out wherever you are!" Some of them were laughing. How could they be laughing right now? Corin's insides tightened up as they came within feet of Johanna's hiding spot. "We know you're here, so why don't we just make this quick?"_

_Johanna's eyes snapped open. There it was. The ferocity that Corin, and many other inhabitants of District Seven, was very familiar with. Johanna tensed. Then, with incredible speed, she lunged out of the bushes at the District Two male. Dug her axe right into his chest and yanked it out. _

_BOOM. _

_The District Two girl threw a blade at Johanna, who practically danced out of the way, and swung her axe upward right through the girl's neck. She stumbled backwards, gasping for air until. _

_BOOM. _

_Both of the District one tributes had fled into the forest by now. They had underestimated her. Not only could Johanna fight, but she had just proved how merciless she was. Nobody saw it coming. Especially Corin. She was left sitting in shock, mouth agape as she stared at the TV screen. She was in love with a ruthless killer..._

* * *

"Open up, Mom."

Corin sat at the table spoon feeding her mother. Her mother seemed a little drowsy. She was pale, and so thin that her skin seemed to be sticking to her bones. One arm was missing a hand and the other was gone all together, as a result of a major accident she survived and the lumber mill. She was lucky to be alive, and lucky enough that one of her children decided to stick around and care for her. The rest of them left after the incident, and neither of the women had heard from them since.

"It tastes good, doesn't it?" Corin asked. Her mother nodded. "It's from the Capitol. Johanna gave some of her extra food to me. She said they give her enough to feed half the District."

"Pays to... be friends with a Victor... doesn't it?" Her mother chuckled, between labored breaths.

Corin stroked her mother's face, "I asked our neighbor to come and check on you in about an hour. I'm going to go visit her again in a little bit."

"You're always... visiting her. What do you two even... do all day?"

Corin didn't seem to know how to answer this question properly. She wanted to tell her mother the truth, but she knew she couldn't. "We just have a lot to talk about. You know... the Games and all." Her mother nodded. Corin used this opportunity to get out before any more questions were asked. She kissed her mother on the cheek. "I love you Mom."

With that, she left.

It was quite a walk to get from her house to Victor's Village. There were several people who resided in the area, all men plus Johanna. But it was pretty isolated from the rest of the District. Corin never really understood why. Perhaps because they knew that not many people would ever reside up there. District Seven wasn't exactly known for producing powerful tributes. No wonder Johanna spoke of being popular in the Capitol. She was one of the smartest tributes to play the game, and those people were absolutely blown away by her strategy.

Finally, she reached Johanna's grand new house, where she lived alone as her family preferred to live closer to the city. She knocked on the door.

After a few moments, it opened. But Johanna didn't answer as she had expected. Instead, a young man answered the door. He was very handsome, with light brown hair and piercing blue eyes. Corin had seen him around before, when Johanna's friends and family were being interviewed, he was one of them. Instantly, she felt something boiling inside of her. Jealousy, maybe?

"Is Johanna here?" Corin asked.

The boy looked behind him. That's when Corin saw several peacekeepers standing at attention in the hallway. What the hell was going on? "Yeah, she's just a little busy right now. Who are you?"

Corin tried not to act worried. Not in front of those peacekeepers, "I'm her friend. Corin. Who are you?"

"Also her friend. I'm Ryker, it's nice to meet you Corin."

"What's going on?" Corin felt herself start to panic. She hadn't felt like this since the last reaping, when Johanna's name was called. She remembered how desperately she wanted to volunteer in the other girl's place. But Johanna refused to let that happen. But this? This only spelled trouble. Something big was going on.

Just then, he walked out, led by the peacekeepers. Ryker jumped out of the way, and nodded in respect at the older man. Corin stumbled back, out of the way, shocked. The man smiled and nodded at her, in what seemed to be a genuine bit of kindness. But there was something so cold in the exchange, Corin could feel it.

What was President Snow doing in District Seven?


	4. Chapter 4

Johanna sat on the chair, staring at the wall in front of her. She was lost deep in thought. Something was distracting her. But she was immediately snapped from her trance as soon as the door flew open and Corin strode in with a worried expression covering her face.

"What is going on?" Corin demanded.

Ryker sprinted in right after. "I'm sorry Jo, I tried to keep her out but she -"

"Can I have a moment alone with her please?" Johanna still hadn't moved from her spot. Ryker looked confused, but obliged and closed the door behind him.

Corin was breathing heavily, as if she were still scared of something. "Are you alright Johanna?" She didn't say anything. But instead, she stood up and made her way over, forcing the other girl against the wall. She placed her lips upon Corin's, but there was nothing gentle about it. With the Victory Tour, the constant requirements to go to the Capitol... she felt like she never saw Corin anymore. It wasn't true, the girls spent a lot of time with each other. But it never felt like enough.

Johanna never even told Corin when or why she would leave for the Capitol. Maybe she should have, then Corin wouldn't be so surprised right now. There was no doubt that she had seen Snow. She had a feeling that if Corin knew these meetings with him were frequent, she would flip out. They didn't usually go well, as they always ended with both parties leaving upset. Snow would demand something of Johanna, and she would refuse. The only reason he had come out to Seven was because Johanna had decided to rip up the most recent "invitation" to the Capitol. He'd made it very clear that he was upset that he had to go out of his way to come see her. To that... Johanna told him that he should just stop

_"You know why I'm interested in you Miss Mason." Snow had said to her. "I've made the offer several times. We can make you a very wealthy lady. Anything you want. All just for the small price of being in the company of some of my Capitol citizens. That's all it takes."_

_Johanna could only scoff at this. "How many times would you like to me to tell you that I'm not interested?"_

_"Just because you're a Victor doesn't make you any more powerful than you were before. I always get my way, Miss Mason." Snow said flatly. It wasn't this phrase that sent a chill up Johanna's spine, but rather the cold and calculating look about him. She was defying him, and he was going to make her pay for it. _

_But Johanna just shrugged. "Not this time, sir."_

She had done something that nobody would think of. He struck fear into the hearts of every citizen of Panem. Johanna wasn't going to sell her body. If Corin found out that offer was even made, she would be heartbroken. No. Johanna was going to be faithful to this girl. She loved everything about her, so much that she risked her own life by disobeying President Snow like this.

After a long, passionate kiss, Johanna finally spoke. "Did he see you?"

"Yes, he smiled at me." Corin said, still breathing heavily but for a different reason this time.

"Damn it!" Johanna yelled, punching at the wall. Corin jumped, and Johanna softened up, realizing that she'd startled the other girl. "I'm sorry I just..." Johanna felt like she was on the verge of breaking down now.

Corin must have recognized this, as she gently stroked the length of Johanna's arm. "You, what? What is it, love?"

Johanna froze, hearing that word come out of Corin's mouth. It wasn't like it was anything new to them. They said they loved each other often. But this time, it helped Johanna realize the gravity of the situation overall.

"I made a huge mistake." Johanna whispered.

Just as Corin was about to fish for more answers...

"JOHANNA!" Ryker yelled from behind the closed door. She could hear his footsteps running towards them. He threw the door open. "Johanna, quick. The village is fire. The entire back half of it. Homes are burning down."

Johanna's eyes widened. The village... full of the poorest people in District Seven, where Johanna grew up. Where her family was still living.

"No." She whispered to herself. It was starting already.

* * *

Johanna sprinted down the path, much faster than both Ryker and Corin who had chosen to follow. In the time where she trained for the Games, she had grown a lot stronger and faster. It didn't go away that easily. Possibly because Johanna was up early nearly every morning because she couldn't sleep. When she could, she drowned in bloody nightmares. So instead of that, she found herself running through the forest, practicing her axe throwing, doing all sorts of workouts to keep her mind busy and to keep her body strong at the same time. With the way things had been going, she never knew when she was going to need to stand up and fight. And if someone was going to be stupid enough to fight her, then she was going to show them how strong of a Victor she really was.

Ryker and Corin were too far behind her as Johanna sprinted into the midst of the action. People were working together to put the fire out. Others were helping to remove families from the burning homes. Kids were crying. People were yelling. It was complete chaos right now. She pushed past people in an attempt to get to her house.

There it was, completely engulfed in flames. She stopped frozen in her tracks, tugging at her hair. She was about to run right into the house to see if her family was still in there, but a raspy voice stopped her. "Johanna?"

She turned to see her twelve year old brother, Jaxon, kneeling on the floor, covered in dirt and soot. There was a lot of smoke around them, it wasn't safe for them here. There was a hissing noise coming from her parent's house. "Jaxon, we need to go!" She yanked her brother to his feet, but he stumbled along. She help him up and the two started running. Right in time, because the house suddenly exploded, sending fireballs everywhere. Johanna and Jaxon fell to the ground, but Johanna managed to cover her brother to protect him.

They were lucky enough to not be hit by anything. She pulled him out to a safe enough distance. She too was now covered by dirt and ashes.

"Jax, what happened?" She demanded.

The small boy was shaking, "I don't know. Momma asked me to go get some chicken for supper. I was on my way home when everything just burst into flames. It started traveling from house to house so fast that people didn't have enough time to get out. I ran back home to find everyone when I found you."

* * *

Johanna layed in the middle of the grass field, motionless as she stared at the sky.

47 people were dead, another 60 were injured from the village fires. Jaxon was one of the injured ones, but he only had minor burns and Johanna's Victor money covered the cost of care easily. But four of those 47 dead included Johanna's parents and two youngest brothers. Their bodies, when they were found, were nothing but charred remains. Barely recognizable.

Grieving over the loss of her family was bad enough. Especially since it was only seven months since the 71st Hunger Games. She was just started to get herself into a normal routine, balancing her time between the Capitol's needs as well as spending time with her family, Ryker, and Corin.

But the worst part of this all? Johanna knew she could've prevented all of this. She hadn't any idea that Snow would go to this extreme to get his revenge. The timing of it all was clearly made so that Johanna knew it was her fault. After all, only hours after learning of her family's fate, she received a phone call from Snow himself.

_"My offer is still on the table Johanna." He told her over the phone. "I would love to have you come visit in the Capitol, and we can work out some sort of arrangement to prevent any more trouble in your District."  
_

_Johanna boiled when she heard this. She was fuming. She wanted to arrange a meeting with Snow so she could split his head open with her axe. But she only had one thing to say to him at that point in time. After all, he'd killed her family. What else was he going to do to her?_

_"Screw you, Snow."_

_She slammed the phone down on the receiver. _


	5. Chapter 5

Reaping Day.

It was exactly one year since Johanna's name was pulled. One year since her life had changed forever. She could still remember this day very clearly. Her name being called. Her eyes automatically locking with Corin's. She knew the other girl was going to volunteer for her, so she had mouthed the word _"No."_ in her harsh manner. Luckily, Corin obliged. She could hear the cries from her mother and brothers as she made her way to the stage. And from there, her act began.

But now, she didn't have to pretend to be weak. Everyone knew very well what she was capable of. They also knew very well that she didn't like any of them, so she didn't have to pretend to be all cute and innocent anymore.

But, she did decide that she wanted to look nice. She would be in front of the camera as the tributes were reaped for her first year as a mentor. Therefore, all of Panem would see this footage at some point. But she didn't care what Panem thought of her. No, she cared if Snow saw her. She would still stand tall after what he had done to her family. She may have been a little beaten down, but she was far from broken. So she chose to spend the day primping herself. She did her hair all nice, cleaned herself, and even wore a little bit of makeup.

_Ding-Dong._

A visitor today? She figured it must be one of the other couple of mentors coming to get her. They needed to be at the Justice Building early. It was probably Blight. He seemed to bother her a lot lately, and that was really pissing her off. She could handle herself, but he said he was just worried about her after the Village Fire. She really just wanted everyone to stop talking about it.

_Ding-Dong._

"I'm coming, alright!" She huffed as she paced towards the door. Throwing it open, her expression softened when she saw her beautiful lover standing there. "Well don't you look lovely?" She smirked, leaning against the door frame.

Corin smiled bashfully, but pushed past Johanna and into the house. "I thought I'd wear the dress you gave me. You wore this in District Eight on the Victory Tour, right?" She spun around and Johanna nodded, admiring Corin. Her hair was in a bun, with a few strands falling slightly on her face. The dress accented her shape perfectly.

"It looks great on you." Johanna said, barely a whisper.

"I wish I looked as good as you. Wow." Corin said, inching herself closer to Johanna. "At least all of Panem isn't going to see me, hopefully. Lucky for them, they get to see you." She wrapped her arms around Johanna's waist. Johanna was stiff right now, but she had good reason to be. She was nervous for the day, she had never been a mentor before. "You need to loosen up, love." Corin started to trail kisses along Johanna's neck, but Johanna pushed her away at the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs.

She walked to the base of the staircase, "Look at you, handsome!" Johanna beamed at the sight of her younger brother. Being twelve, this was the first reaping he was participating in. He looked terrified, so Johanna put a protective arm around his shoulder. "Too bad the Capitol won't get to look at you, right?"

"Why's that?" He said in his softspoken voice.

She laughed, as if the answer was obvious, "Because they'll be too focused on the boy who gets reaped of course!" Jaxon seemed to loosen up at this statement, which helped Johanna relax as well. "I think it's time for us to head down there!" She gave a small smile to Corin, who only sighed in response.

* * *

"Welcome everyone to the 72nd Annual Hunger Games!" shrilled the District Seven escort, Aris Leyton. Johanna sat behind her, nearly choking due to the amount of perfume in the air that trailed behind the woman. She looked up at Aris in disgust. She could care less if the entire world saw her like this.

As Aris continued to talk, Johanna's eyes trailed through the potential tributes. Who was she going to be mentoring this year? Her eyes landed on Ryker, the boy she'd known since the two of them were five years old. They had taught each other a lot, and she loved and cared for him. So much that people always assumed that the pair of them were going to be married someday. As far as she knew, Ryker didn't want that sort of relationship from her. She certainly didn't want it from him. His friendship was incredible and she'd hate to see that be ruined. She prayed that Ryker wasn't picked.

Then there was Jaxon, he was shaking where he stood, so much that Johanna could see it from where she was seated. She wanted to just run into the crowd and comfort her little brother. He was too young for this. All those faces of the young kids that surrounded him. Young boys she'd seen around often when Jaxon went out to go play with his friends. Any one of these kids could be the next tribute. It sunk in that Johanna was going to be doing this for the rest of her life. Maybe that's why Blight was always so wasted, because this was still really difficult, no matter how safe they were right now.

Her eyes drifted over to the females. She saw plenty of her old classmates, her old co-workers from the times when she actually had to work to survive. She actually missed those days. But her eyes landed on only one pair of eyes. The only pair of eyes looking at her, and not at the video being played. Johanna wanted to give her a reassuring smile, but smiling in front of the camera right now? That would be bogus. The Capitol might start to think she was some sort of softy.

"Now! Time to pick our female tribute for the year!" Aris said, snapping Johanna back to reality. Her heels clicked as she walked over to the bowl filled to the brim with potential tributes. Her hand dove in right to the middle and she swooped a piece of paper out, making her way back to the microphone. "Our female tribute for the 72nd Hunger Games is..." She opened the small slip of paper.

"Corin Arlington."

_What?!_ Johanna wanted to scream right now. Her face remained stoic, as she knew that she couldn't react to this. A reaction from her would only garner attention, and then the question would be asked... _Why? Why did Johanna react like this?_ She knew what she had to do. Her eyes fell on the girl, who suddenly seemed to small and fragile, as she made her way up to the stage. Corin locked eyes with Johanna, but she didn't look as furious as Johanna was. _It's going to be okay_ she seemed to say through her expression. Johanna didn't feel okay.

Everything was a blur right now. Was this really happening? Out of all of the names in the bowl, she had to pick Corin's? Then it hit her... this was no coincidence. No, it had to be on purpose. Snow must've done this to her...

"And our male tribute is..." Johanna's eyes fell back onto Aris, who was reading off the second name. Who was going to have to be this year's sacrifice? Johanna knew she was going to support Corin, and only Corin. So the other tribute was going to be like scrap-meat to her, as harsh as that sounded.

**"Jaxon Mason."**


	6. Chapter 6

"What!" Johanna shrieked as her little brother hobbled up towards the stage. It was loud enough to send a hush over the entire District and give pause to the little boy for a moment. "Are you kidding me?" She was up and striding towards Aris as if it was her fault for all of this. Johanna knew very well that none of this was Aris's fault, and she was just doing her job. But she didn't care right now, she was only seeing red.

Luckily for Aris, Blight had been standing nearby and wasn't completely drunk out of his mind today. He was sober enough to step in and wrap his arms tight around Johanna. She struggled and kicked him, all while this event was being broadcast to all of Panem. She didn't care, she needed to know something. But he was strong.

But as a professional, Aris continued her speech, despite the wresting match going on behind her. "Do we have any volunteers?"

Immediately, Johanna's eyes landed on Ryker. She was willing to beg him to give his life to save her little brother, if he would. She would give anything to have him volunteer for Jaxon.

But Ryker's gaze was focused on the ground. He must have known that Johanna would look to him in that moment, and that he was going to disappoint her by ignoring her plea for help. She couldn't blame him for not volunteering, but she was still pissed.

"Alright then!" Aris trilled, "Our District Seven tributes are Corin Arlington and Jaxon Mason!"

There was no clapping this time, as Johanna had managed to slip her arm out of Blight's grip and elbow him in the face. She shoved him off to the side and bolted to the bowl which held all of the boys names, knocking it down. It shattered, and little slips of paper spilled all over the stage.

At this point, she was positive the feed to Panem had been cut off. Corin was watching in shock as Johanna started to sift through the slips of paper like a mad woman. But she couldn't watch for long as the two tributes were hastily ushered off the stage. Johanna kept ripping open pieces of paper as her District watched on, feeling nothing but empathy for the young woman.

_Jaxon Mason. Jaxon Mason. Jaxon Mason. They all said Jaxon Mason._

She knew there was no way her brother's name wouldn't get pulled, and that this was no coincidence. Snow was still punishing her. She would have gone and knocked over the bowl with the girls names, but Blight had now yanked her up by her arm and dragged her into the Justice Building behind closed doors.

"Look, Johanna. I know you're mad -"

"Do you, Blight! Do you really know how pissed off I am right now?"Johanna nearly spat in his face. "Where are they keeping them?"

Blight pointed to a couple of guarded doors behind them, "They're saying goodbye to some people right now." Johanna stood up, but Blight pushed her down, "Don't even think about going in there. You can talk to them on the train."

Johanna watched the doors. What was she going to do? Only one person could win the Hunger Games, which meant no matter what happened, Johanna was going to lose somebody that she cared very deeply for.

Then, she saw Ms. Arlington walk out of one of the doors. Johanna stood up and walked over to her. "I'm so sorry about your daughter."

Ms. Arlington managed to smile up at Johanna. "Well it is... just my luck. The one... child who stayed behind... to help me... gets taken away." A tear started to roll down her face. Despite being incredibly rude, Johanna turned and walked away. She didn't want to cry right now, and she felt like she was about to.

* * *

Johanna sat on one of the plush couches with some sweet Capitol delicacy in her hands. She studied it for a moment before carefully taking a bite of it. It was too sweet for her liking, so she threw it to the ground instead. There was some chatter coming from one of the nearby train cars that she could barely make out. it sounded like Blight talking to the new tributes.

She had yet to face them. They'd been on the train for three hours now, and they had two more days to go before they reached the Capitol. She was going to have to face them eventually... so why not get it over with now. At least while Blight was there so maybe she didn't have to say anything. With that, she forced herself up and into the adjoining train car.

Everyone looked up at her when the door opened, but she kept her gaze to the ground until she took a seat on a couch that was furthest from everyone else. Blight continued to speak to them about how the entire process worked, and Johanna drowned him out. She was getting lost in thought until...

"_Johanna..._ Johanna. JOHANNA!"

She snapped her head up to see Aris towering above her, hands on her hips. "What the hell do you want?" Johanna frowned.

"You're going to be doing this mentoring business for a long time now, so why don't you pay attention to Blight and learn how to do it properly."

Was Aris scolding her? "Well Blight doesn't have a very good success rate, does he? One out of eighteen right?" She said smugly. Aris only sighed at her, throwing her hands up and walking away. Johanna looked over at Blight, Corin, and Jaxon. She still didn't know what she was going to do about all of this. What was there to do anyway? She couldn't spin this so both of them could win, and she couldn't successfully convince sponsors that they should support both. She was going to have to choose. She loved the tributes equally, just in different ways.

The one thing was, everybody was going to be expecting her to be fully supporting Jaxon. After the way she reacted, the name... they all knew the relationship. In fact, she was positive that Jaxon was going to use that to his advantage. But being related to a former Victor? The other tributes were going to hunt him down so fast, he wouldn't last two days unless the boy knew how to fight. Being the youngest tribute, she knew he didn't stand a chance.

Maybe Corin had a chance though. She wasn't strong, but she wasn't going to be as much of a target. They wouldn't see her coming. The tributes wouldn't expect Johanna to help her out in any way. Corin might actually stand a chance where Jaxon didn't.

But, Jaxon was all she had left in her family. She was still getting over losing the rest of her family. She was going to be heartbroken no matter what happened, but she was going to have to choose the person who stood the better chance, because losing both of them was not an option.

* * *

_"I think Johanna Mason from District Seven actually had one of the best strategies we've seen in the entire run of the Hunger Games."_ Ceasar's all too familiar voice boomed on the television screen. Johanna could hear, standing outside of Corin's door. The other girl didn't even know she was there. _"Notice how she let the Career pack take out all of her competition, so that all she had to do was fight them. Nobody even saw her coming. What an incredibly powerful blow she can deliver! Now she is in the final two, with the young tribute from District Nine."_

Johanna stepped into the room. She saw herself from last year. The dirt and blood staining her face and clothes. There was a wild ferocity in her eyes as she had looked right at the thirteen year old boy. She knew exactly what happened next, she was never going to forget it. On some nights, she had nightmares about it, and woke herself up with her own screams.

"You might want to turn this off now." Johanna whispered.

Corin jumped, startled by the young Victor. "I'm so sorry Johanna I just..." She started to speak in a rush, "I just wanted to see how you did it, one more time. I mean, I know maybe I shouldn't even bother trying because of your brother, I know that and I can help him but I have my mother to think about - "

Johanna cut her off with a kiss. It was a deep passionate kiss. One of the kind that Johanna didn't want to stop. Ever. And she could care less about who might walk through the door at any point. Did it matter anymore? Maybe. But she didn't care.

It wasn't long before Corin was lying on the ground with Johanna on top of her. But she stopped for a moment.

"I will do _everything _I can to make sure you win this. I promise."


	7. Chapter 7

"A tree and a lumberjack? Are you kidding me?"

Johanna was baffled, standing in front of the two tributes. "You two look absolutely ridiculous, where the hell is your stylist?" Corin was dressed as a tree. She still managed to look beautiful, if sponsors could get past the bush that seemed to be growing out of her hair. Jaxon was dressed as a lumberjack. It was a lazy outfit, but he was holding a prop axe.

Johanna confronted the stylist, "What were you thinking? Trying to make it look like he's going to chop her down or something? Is that the message we're sending here?" The stylist seemed baffled, "I want my tributes to be on an even playing field. Do you even realize the kind of target you're putting on my brother's back by sending out this message?" She was more frustrated that Corin's outfit wasn't as strong as it could have been, and sponsors would overlook her. Johanna was going to have to work extra hard for this, wasn't she?

She knew she was making a bit of a scene, as some of the other tributes and their mentors were sending glances her way. She was sure that the other mentors were only rolling their eyes at the "newbie". Johanna couldn't care what these fools thought of her, she didn't need to make friends anymore.

Before she could cause more of a scene, the tributes were ordered to their chariots for the tribute parade. Despite the drink in his hand, Blight still gave last minute orders to the tributes, "Smile, wave. Make friends today!" He glanced at Johanna, "Jaxon, do what your sister never could, alright kid?"

That was enough to make Jaxon laugh, and even though Johanna didn't find it even remotely funny, she was glad that he could ease the mood for Jaxon. He deserved to laugh, his laugh even brightened up the entire room. She would miss that kind of smile he had, that made her feel good even on the worst of days. She was even starting to reconsider what she had promised Corin a few nights ago. But before she could do anymore thinking, the chariots were off. She made eye contact with Corin one more time before she was out of sight.

"You really are as crazy as they say, aren't you?"

Johanna didn't recognize that voice, and she didn't know where Blight had run off to. She turned around and found herself face to face with everybody's "favorite Victor"... Finnick Odair. He was giving her his famous charming smile.

"Excuse me?" She snarled. What was his problem?

Finnick laughed, "Relax Johanna, I didn't mean to offend you. You look lovely tonight."

"Don't even Finnick," she muttered. She started to look around for Blight, who was getting chummy with some of the other mentors. Was there a good enough excuse for her to get away from Finnick right now?

"If you don't mind me asking, what did you do to piss off Snow?" He said in a more hushed tone.

Johanna's gaze snapped back at him, "What are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. With your brother being reaped and all, you don't think it was a coincidence? I can assure you, it wasn't." There was something really upsetting about his tone, and the way he was speaking to her as if he wanted to know all of her deepest darkest secrets. "I mean, Snow almost ruined my life, the year before you won."

"What do you mean?" Johanna said, a little curious now.

"I was very good at obeying his commands. He wanted to sell my body to his citizens, I let him. I got a lot of useful information out of them." He gave her a wink. She felt a little disgusted by this, until he continued. "But I fell in love with this incredibly woman. So I told Snow: 'I'm sorry sir, I've enjoyed doing this work for you but I fell in love so unfortunately I won't be able to continue.' I thought he would understand, but I knew he didn't take to it lightly when my love was reaped that same year. I knew there was no coincidence." Johanna was enthralled now in the story, it wasn't much different than her own. "I promised Snow, if he let her win I would never wrong him again. I would travel to the Capitol whenever and for however long he wanted me there. And so... as the story goes, he ordered the Gamemakers to flood the entire arena, knowing that she was the only one who would be able to swim for long enough."

"Annie." Johanna whispered to herself.

Finnick nodded, "She would be here, but she's still having a hard time coping. Mags and I agreed that she wasn't suited to be a mentor just yet."

"He made sure she won?"

Finnick nodded again, "What is it that you've done to Snow this time?"

"I refused to let him sell my body at all. I didn't expect him to kill my family and when I did I told him a few choice words that I've since regretted saying." Finnick laughed at this. He was actually the first person she was telling this to, and she actually felt at ease being able to say these words to him. Maybe he wasn't half as bad as she had thought. "Now he's trying to kill the two people left that I love most."

"Two?" Finnick mused. Johanna was mentally kicking herself right now. She hadn't meant to let that slip. From the first impression she'd gotten of Finnick, he would probably pry until she told him everything.

Luckily, the chariots were all coming back into the tunnel now, so she didn't have to answer. "I'll see you soon Finnick." She said and strode over towards Corin and Jaxon. But Finnick wasn't done with her, so he followed.

"How was it?" Johanna asked them, unaware that Finnick was behind her.

Jaxon jumped off, "I loved it!" He was all smiles. She looked up at Corin, who's eyes seemed to be gleaming right now. But she wasn't looking at Johanna as she stepped down from the chariot.

Johanna spun around and saw Finnick standing there, smirking. "Don't you have your own tributes to bother right now?"

"Mags is with them, they're fine!" He smiled over at the two tributes, very charming. "Jaxon and... Corin, right?"

The two nodded, but Corin was staring at him in a way that made Johanna very uncomfortable. "Wow Finnick, it's so nice to meet you!" She glared at Corin.

Finnick beamed at this, "Always a pleasure making the acquaintance of a beautiful lady."

Johanna's glare flipped to Finnick now. She was not okay with this "flirting" that seemed to be happening. "Okay, you really need to leave now Finnick." She started pushing him away, but he grabbed her hands and gently placed them by her side.

"I'll go." He leaned in closer to her and whispered, "Don't worry, I'm not interested. She's all yours." Johanna felt herself blushing at this. Finnick left, probably proud of himself for getting what he wanted... yet again. Johanna yelled to him from across the room, so hopefully everyone would hear:

"You're an asshole, Finnick Odair!"


	8. Chapter 8

"You're so lucky Johanna."

Corin and Johanna had just gotten in the elevator after the tribute parade. Jaxon and Blight had left a minute earlier, but Corin could barely walk in her outfit so Johanna had to help her take some of the pieces off.

"Why am I so lucky?" She smirked.

"You're already friends with Finnick Odair. I mean, look at it this way. Say the games don't go so well for me, you can always have Finnick!" She giggled when she said that. Johanna playfully pushed her away, but grabbed her hand and pulled her back quickly into a hug.

She kissed Corin's head. "What if I don't want Finnick. What if I only want you?"

"Then you're screwed if I die." Corin meant that in a joking manner, but the words stayed heavy with Johanna.

"I think I know how to make sure you win." Johanna said softly.

Corin was confused, "Make sure? I mean there's a little bit of skill and luck involved."

Johanna shook her head, "No, you don't understand. You will, but you don't right now."

"Then help me understand! I want to be prepared, at least. I think I deserve that!"

"I need to talk to Snow first." Johanna said flatly.

* * *

"You look like you want to kill me, Ms Mason." President Snow said, with a light chuckle in his voice.

Johanna snarled, "Maybe I do, but I need you right now."

"What can I do for you?"

"Corin needs to win."

Snow raised an eyebrow at the furious young Victor, "Even if I could do that, why would I?"

"If you can make sure two of the most important people in my life are reaped in the same year then I'm sure you can make sure one of them wins." She snapped at him. "If Corin wins, I'll let you do whatever you want with me. I'll accept that offer."

"Really?" Snow beamed.

"ONLY if Corin wins the Games." Snow nodded at this, and a wave of relief flooded her body. "Thank you," She added in a whisper at the end.

She turned to walk out of the rooms, planning on leaving it at just that. But Snow had one more thing to say. "I'm surprised you didn't choose the boy."

Johanna froze, and turned around, "Excuse me?" She wasn't entirely sure what Snow was talking about.

"Well you can have a thousand lovers, Miss Mason." Snow said, not even looking at her. He was pouring himself some sort of drink, "But you only have one brother left." That dug a little deeper than he probably meant for it to. She was snarling at him now, but he didn't feel threatened.

Johanna could probably get to him and slit his throat open before anybody could stop her. But he knew he was completely safe right now. Why? Because she needed him, and he knew that she knew this. If she wanted either of her tributes to make it out alive, he needed to be alive to make that happen. So Johanna kept her mouth shut, something she wasn't great at doing, and turned around and walked out. There were so many things she wanted to say to Snow in that moment. Maybe later she would.

* * *

She was still fuming from her encounter with Snow. They always left a bad taste in her mouth, why was she surprised?

She was on her way to see Corin, as the girl was very good at making her feel better. For the second year in a row, the Hunger Games was going to keep them apart when the two were going to need each other most but after this it would be over. Johanna and Corin could live together in peace and happiness, and even though Johanna wouldn't be able to keep up this act of being strong all the time, she'd falter and remember her family and how much she had loved them and how she had chosen to sacrifice her own brother, Corin would be there to remind her that none of it was ever her fault. Snow was the one to blame here, forcing her to make a heart-wrenching decision like that.

Once she got to the seventh floor, she found herself mindlessly heading towards Corin's room without even thinking about it anymore. But on the way, she saw a shadow in the living room area. She tiptoed over, and found her brother sitting on the couch, with his head in between his legs.

Johanna hated to admit it, but she had been avoiding her brother these past couple days, because she knew what she was doing to him, what she was sending him into. There was a lot of guilt racked up inside of her right now, though. She wanted to cherish these moments with him. She considered pretending as if she hadn't seen him, but her heart melted for the little boy right now.

"Hey Jax." She said softly, sitting down on the couch beside him.

He looked up and smiled at her, "Hi Jo!"

"How are you holding up, bud?" She put her arm around his shoulders and pulled him close to her.

"I'm scared." He said, his voice still a little shaky. But he snuggled up against his big sister, "Sure, I want to win like you but I already know that I don't have a chance. I've seen the other tributes in the training room. They're really strong, I can't beat them."

"Sure you can! Use your head. It doesn't always have to come down to a one on one fight you know."

Jaxon shrugged, "I guess. But... I guess I'm just accepting the facts. I get to go join Mom and Dad. And Jared and Jaiden, wherever they've all gone, right?" Johanna couldn't answer this. She just felt a tear roll down her cheek. She didn't know what to say to him, or how to tell him that everything he said was the truth. She was abandoning him in the arena. He probably just wanted to hear her say that she'd have his back. But she didn't this time.

She felt like some kind of monster.

* * *

The day had finally come.

Johanna's chest felt really tight, and she had a hard time breathing throughout the entire day. She was more tense than she was the year before. But she needed to relax. She walked at a brisk pace towards the launch area.

Not far away she spotted Corin and her stylist walking towards the room. Johanna sprinted to catch up, pulling the stylist away from Corin. "I can take it from here, thank you."

"I don't think-" the stylist tried to say but Johanna's glare was enough to cut her off.

Once the other woman had turned around, Johanna slipped her hand into Corin's, intertwining their fingers. She clutched it tight as the pair walked towards the launch room.

They said nothing until they were in there.

_"Sixty seconds until launch."_

"Okay, I don't have a lot of time," Johanna said, pulling the girl so that the two of them were now face to face. She had her hands firmly planted on Corin's shoulders, "When the starting gong goes off, you run away from the Cornucopia bloodbath, alright? Don't get weapons, supplies, bags... nothing. You turn, and you run. And please, PLEASE, do NOT step off that platform before the gong goes off. Run and get to a safe place and wait for me."

_"Thirty seconds until launch."_

"I will get you everything you need, I promise. I'll get you food and water, and a weapon. What weapon do you want? An axe?" Johanna spoke quickly and harshly. Corin managed a nod in response, "I'll get it to you, you just stay in a safe place, hidden from everybody, and I will get you anything you need. Okay?"

_"Twenty seconds until launch."_

"Do not fight unless it's absolutely necessary. And when the time comes to kill, don't hesitate. If you hesitate you give them a chance. You have to be ruthless and assume that they will do the same. If you assume otherwise you'll end up dead. I don't want you dead."

_"Ten seconds until launch."_

With that, Johanna moved her hands up to Corin's face, and pulled her close, kissing her with all the passion she had. She didn't want to stop. She was afraid that this would be the last kiss the two of them would ever share. But it was over so fast. She pushed Corin towards the launch pad, though their lips were still rapidly moving against each other. Finally, she stepped back.

She slowly let go of Corin's hand. Right as she did, the glass closed between them, cutting them off for good.

"I love you." Johanna said, even though Corin probably couldn't hear. The girl was lifted up through the tube, and the games would begin soon.

For the first time, Johanna felt incredibly helpless, as she could only pray that Corin listened to what she said to do. With that, she ended up collapsing in a heap on the floor and doing something she never thought she'd let herself do, especially after all she had been through. She started crying.


	9. Chapter 9

Johanna had recovered quickly after the launch. She had work to do.

Three days had passed so far, and Johanna found herself in the control room almost 24/7. She had barely gotten any sleep, watching Corin's every move. As tributes were dying, the control room had started to thin out, so the mentors could go relax and accept the fact that they'd lost their tributes. Blight had told her that he would take over, but she told him to focus on her brother, and she'd focus on Corin. If she were to go to sleep and then wake up to find them dead, she'd never be able to forgive herself. Sleep could happen later. Right now, the Games consumed her life.

Johanna had been successful in convincing enough Sponsors that Corin would be the winner, despite her low score from the Gamemakers. She'd been able to get her food and even an axe within the first couple of days, after convincing the Sponsors that she needed it early on before the price of the axe went up. Johanna found herself having to flirt with some of the Sponsors, some funny looking older men with orange hair and things like that. It disgusted her, but she kept reminding herself it was all for Corin.

Sure, she was getting tired. But Finnick often kept her company, and showed her the ropes. He was doing a much better job than Blight was, after all. Blight still continuously got drunk, and Johanna felt guilty because her brother was relying on him in the game. Finnick must have sympathized with her and her situation, as he was the only other person who knew what was really going on with her right now. He had already lost one of his tributes, so he split time with Mags to take care of the other one and on his free time he often joined Johanna and gave her tips. He even offered to look after Corin while Johanna got some rest. But she didn't want to sleep. Her eyes were on the screens non-stop.

There were still nine tributes left. Jaxon and Corin were two of them. Both of them had spent the entire games practically running and hiding. There was the District Four female, Both tributes from District one and two, and all five of them were working together. Then there was the District ten male and the District three female. The numbers had dwindled because late last night, the rabid muttations had run rampant throughout the arena and killed five tributes within ten minutes. Johanna was convinced, that since these mutts were nowhere near Corin and Jaxon, that this had been Snow's doing. A way to help increase Corin's chances. She was getting hopeful.

But today, the District One tributes had decided to split from the rest of the Careers to go on a little "hunt". They had all agreed that it was a little quiet. So District Two went one direction, and One went the other. The district four girl guarded the Cornucopia. Johanna was intently watching all of their moves, because if anything seemed suspicious about them, Johanna could try to send some hints to Corin, and guide her in a certain direction. It seemed like District Two was going to cross paths with her today. Johanna was having a strange sense of Deja Vu right now.

She watched as the day dragged on, the pair of tributes were getting closer to Corin and Jaxon. They weren't working together. Corin was up in a tree probably unaware that Jaxon was hiding in the bush below her. He had basically been following her the entire time, probably because he felt safe near her. He must have known that Johanna was trying to spin the game in her favor, and that staying by her would keep her alive. It worried Johanna a little bit, because she was afraid that Jaxon and Corin might have to face off at some point, and that was the last thing she wanted to see.

"Uh-oh, this could be trouble." Blight said, coming up right behind Johanna. Her focus was on the screens right now. She was watching the tribute map, where they had an outline of the arena, as well as the trackers on each tribute's location. District Two and Seven were all withing three feet of each other, they just didn't know it yet.

Johanna could see Corin tense up on the screen, her body pressed against the tree, frozen still. District Two was right underneath her. All she had to do was stay still.

"What is she doing?" Johanna whispered to herself as she saw Corin slowly reaching for the axe that was resting on another branch. "She needs to freeze." Johanna and Blight were both tense now, but despite her calm exterior, Johanna was freaking out inside. Corin was going to ruin everything.

Right as Corin was about to reach her axe, and probably make a lot of noise doing so... Jaxon darted out of the bushes right where District Two had been standing. He'd probably been so scared and couldn't take it anymore. The District Two tributes immediately sprinted after him.

"Why the hell did he do that?" Blight muttered.

Corin looked surprised to see that Jaxon was so close by her, but within seconds she had grabbed her axe and made her way out of the tree, chasing after the other tributes. Johanna was standing now, watching the screen intently. She had never seen Corin handle an axe before so she wasn't sure if she'd actually be able to fight.

She caught up to the others right in time to see the District Two male stab his sword right through Jaxon's chest. He pulled it out, blood dripping everywhere. The boy fell limp.

_Boom._

Johanna almost choked on her breath, witnessing this. Blight was cursing to himself, but still managed to put a comforting hand on Johanna's shoulder. Her brother was dead... and she knew it would hurt, but she didn't know it would hurt this much. For a moment she forgot about Corin and her situation and looked at her brother's lifeless face. He was really gone.

_Boom. Boom._

The cannons snapped her out of it and her eyes fell on the screen where Corin was standing with blood splattered all over her body, her axe dug into the chest of the District Two male. Johanna let out a sigh of relief, but rather than take her axe and leave, Corin was doing something else.

She seemed to be freaking out because of what she had just done. Not only that, but the sight of Jaxon had sent her into a fit of tears. She was being incredibly loud. Johanna looked up at the tribute map to see if anybody was nearby. Unfortunately, District One wasn't too far off. Within minutes, if she didn't shut up, they would be able to hear her, and they could end it before Corin even knew they were there. The boy had proven he had incredible aim with a bow and arrow and had taken down nearly half the tributes himself. He'd shoot her down and she'd never even see him coming.

_Shut up Corin. Shut. Up._ Johanna thought to herself. She didn't know what to do. District One's trackers started to move faster, in Corin's direction. They must've heard her.

"You need to send her something. Now!" Finnick was behind her all of the sudden, talking to her in a harsh whisper.

Johanna looked up at him, "Send her what?"

"Anything," Finnick's eyes didn't move from the screen, "Anything you can and hope that a parachute will be enough to shut her up long enough to hear the others coming towards her." Johanna froze, "Do it, now!"

With that, Johanna sprinted towards the sponsor tubes and grabbed a small metal container. She looked around for something, but couldn't find anything. She looked up at the screen. District One was gaining ground, fast. She ripped the necklace off of her neck and tossed it in the container and went to the delivery tubes. The District Three mentor was there, fumbling around. Johanna only waited for two seconds before she impatiently pushed the mentor out of her way. She'd only met the woman once, her name was Wiress or something like that.

Johanna didn't really care right now. She located Corin's tube and put the container through it.

After that, there was nothing she could do but watch. She hoped her hesitation wouldn't cost Corin her life, as she watched the girl sobbing to herself over everything. She was losing her mind. Johanna felt bad, as she really just wanted to comfort Corin, she wanted to mourn the loss of her brother also, but she couldn't. Not now.

Finnick was right beside her again, putting his hand on her shoulder in a comforting manner. "I'm sorry about your brother." He said while they waited. Johanna was about to respond, but then the familiar beeping of a sponsor gift rang out on the screen.

Corin sniffled but stopped crying and looked up as the gift landed on the ground near her. She ran to it and opened it, recognizing the necklace when she pulled it out.

_"I think I heard something over here!"_ The District One male yelled out. Corin heard this, her head snapping upwards. With that, she grabbed the necklace and her axe, and sprinted in the other direction, right before District One made it to the bloody scene. They stopped, shocked to see two of their new friends dead so soon.

Johanna turned to Finnick and hugged him. "Thank you so much." She whispered to him. Finnick's face remained stoic, but he patted her back in a comforting manner.

"Any time, Johanna." He muttered.


	10. Chapter 10

After six days, the finale was finally happening.

It came down to Corin and the District One boy, Maverick. To Johanna, it had become obvious that the Gamemakers were intentionally picking off other tributes. Sure, she felt bad for them, as they weren't really getting a fighting chance. But neither did the tributes in the 70th Hunger Games, if what Finnick had told her was true. But that was the way it was going to go sometimes then, and if that's what needed to happen to bring Corin home, then that was what would be done.

Johanna was tense, pacing back and forth in the control room. Maverick's mentor seemed to be a little more relaxed. Clearly, his stakes weren't as high, but this would mean pride for him and his District and that was really all those career tributes fought for. Only a few of the other mentors were in the room. Blight, for obvious reasons, also Finnick sat nearby alongside Mags, whom Johanna had yet to officially meet. She was grateful for all of the support that Finnick had given her. He still acted like a tool, but he had a good heart.

What Johanna had a hard time understanding was why the Gamemakers seemed to be pushing Corin and Maverick towards each other for a final showdown. There was no guarantee that Corin would beat Maverick in the end, especially with his wicked accuracy with the bow and arrow. Somehow they must have been trying to give her an advantage. The final showdown was going to happen within minutes.

The Capitol Square was full of people right now looking towards the screens. They were chanting and cheering, yelling out the name of the tribute they wanted to see win. This was the biggest moment in the Capitol for these people, and this was Johanna's first time witnessing it, even though she was a good distance away, it still disgusted her.

The cheers were getting louder.

Corin and Maverick had found each other. Corin charged towards the boy, as Maverick aimed an arrow at her. He fired.  
A root seemed to appear out of nowhere and tripped Corin.  
She fell flat on the ground.  
The arrow flew over her head.

"Throw the axe." Johanna whispered to herself. "Throw. It."

Corin was up on her feet again as Maverick was fumbling for another arrow. She planted her feet firmly and tossed the axe as if it weighed nothing. It soared right towards Maverick, who didn't even see it coming and -

It missed.

The axe flew right over the boy's head. Corin stood frozen in place as Maverick instantly retaliated, firing the arrow at her.

Bullseye.

The arrow hit Corin right in the gut. She stumbled backwards, clutching the wound. After a few agonizing seconds, the girl collapsed on the ground.

_Boom._

The square erupted into an excited cheer. A few people nearby started congratulating Maverick's mentor. The boy was cheering on the screen as the celebratory music was played.

Every ounce of fire and light drained from Johanna's eyes. Finnick put a hand on her shoulder, but he too was at a loss for words. She shrugged his hand off her shoulder and turned around and stormed out, everybody cheering all around her.

_How can they be so happy?_ She thought to herself. She felt sick, and the fresh air wasn't helping at all. She felt rage, anger, sadness and heartbreak all at once and she wasn't sure how to cope. _He lied to me. _

* * *

"I shouldn't have told Snow about her."

Johanna looked up at Ryker, confused. She'd been back in District Seven for only five days now, and it turned out that she could barely function properly. The only time she had left her home was to visit Corin's mother, when the coffin was delivered to them. Her mother had opened it, and the sight of the lifeless girl nearly brought tears to Johanna's eyes. Nearly. But it didn't, because Johanna hadn't cried since the first day of the Hunger Games. She swore she wouldn't let anybody get the best of her again, enough to make her cry ever. That was the last time.

Now, she was just feeling so empty. She felt like she had nothing left to lose. She'd turned out to be completely bitter, snapping at anybody who had tried to be nice to her since. She ignored Blight knocking at her doors and didn't return Finnick's phone calls. She was pushing them away. The only one she'd let in was Ryker. But now, she was having obvious doubts.

"What are you talking about Ryker?" Johanna asked, her voice shaking a little bit. She had a sick feeling that she knew exactly what he was talking about.

Ryker sighed, "I don't know Jo-"

"You'd better tell me what the hell you're talking about right **now** Ryker or so help me..." She was tense. They had been sitting on the floor in her home but Johanna was on her feet now, towering over the other boy.

"When Snow had come over one day, I was here," Ryker started, looking a little scared, "He asked me if you and I were together. I told him no, she's in love with someone else."

Johanna was speechless, "How did you know?"

"It was obvious Johanna. I've known you for years, the way you looked at her, the way she looked at you. You were always with her... I knew exactly what was going on. And so when Snow asked me for a name I didn't think it would be good to lie, but I didn't think he'd do that to you."

"You told him about her?" Johanna whispered, mostly to herself.

Ryker was stuttering now, "I didn't know he was going to do that. I had no idea that he would've done that to you, a victor!"

"Are you serious!" Johanna was yelling, "She could have been alive! She could have never gotten reaped if you hadn't told him her name!" Johanna grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and yanked him up shoving him against the wall. "She didn't have to die!"

"What else was I supposed to do?" Ryker screamed at her, but Johanna still punched him square in the jaw. He fell to the floor, a little shaken. He was bleeding. Johanna kicked at him. "Please, stop! I'm not the bad guy!"

She froze, looking down at his bloodied up face. "I don't want to see you ever again," She whispered harshly. Ryker looked hurt, but Johanna was unwavering.

She had truly changed.


	11. Chapter 11

"Here's to another year of failing completely!" Finnick laughed, holding a drink in the air.

Johanna raised her own glass, clinking it against his. "Here's to the Victor of the 74th Hunger Games not coming from District Seven of Four!" She giggled. Her and Finnick were obviously already tipsy. She only did any sort of drinking on one day a year. It was Finnick's idea last year when all of their tributes were taken out at the Cornucopia. He said that as soon as all four of their tributes were dead, they'd spend that day drinking, and then stay sober for the rest of the year. Johanna had found it pretty easy, as those drinks were not something she enjoyed consuming.

She was only giddy and giggly when she had a couple of drinks, because this stuff seemed to do something weird to her that she didn't fully understand. But she was still vile and harsh as always. It had become a thing amongst the other mentors, as most of them didn't feel like approaching her for fear of her speaking her mind. Not that it was always a bad thing, right? At least Finnick didn't mind. She was a pill that he was capable of swallowing.

"Who do you think has it this year?" Finnick asked, turning to look at the screens.

Johanna shrugged, "Probably District two. They scored high and they're vicious. They look like assholes but one of them is probably going to win."

"I don't know," Finnick mused, "If I could bet I'd put my money on The Girl on Fire."

Johanna nearly spit out her drink laughing, "Twelve? You'd put your money on a girl from twelve?"

Finnick shrugged, "Sure. She's got a lot of motivation and I guess sometimes I like the underdog."

"I don't." Johanna said. Okay, that was a lie. Johanna was always rooting for the underdog. But she felt like she needed to play a little stupid right now. After all, Katniss Everdeen had caught Johanna's eye immediately when she volunteered for her sister. Johanna wasn't one to think it was "loving" and "cute" like most of these other people did. No, when she saw Katniss she saw something else. There was something very mysterious about the girl, and Johanna wanted to know more. Johanna wanted to know _her._ But Finnick couldn't know this. He would tease her constantly.

"You don't like her?" Finnick asked, surprised. He might have thought she would have liked Katniss even a little, due to the striking resemblance she had to a girl Johanna once knew. A girl who Finnick never dared to name.

"Nope." Johanna said nonchalantly. _Everyone I like ends up dead._

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE:** Hey everyone! I just wanted to throw in this short little blurb before I got busy with the holiday things going on. I just wanted to thank you all for your kind words, and I'm always open to notes, or things you want to see, etc!

Hope you all have a happy holiday!


	12. Chapter 12

_"On the seventy-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol, the male and female tributes will be reaped from the existing pool of victors."_

* * *

_Tick. Tock._

There was an emptiness in the room, even though Johanna sat there on the floor. There was nothing. It was silent all around her. So quiet that she could hear the ticking of her clock.

She stared blankly at the wall, unmoving. She had broken her rule about drinking only once a year. This seemed like a special occasion, though, she thought to herself as she lifted up the putrid smelling drink to her lips. But she drank, and soon she might not feel anything again. Otherwise rage would take over and she would do something drastic.

Since the 74th Hunger Games things had changed in her District, and in others, she was assuming. Finnick called her often, maybe once a month. It was more than anybody else, but he'd told her some stories about how people had been rallying. He watched the entire bunch get gunned down, and he wasn't fast enough to stop them. Some people in her own District were rebelling as well. Johanna liked it, these people looking fearlessly in the face of their oppressors and standing up for themselves. People were dying, but for once, people were fighting. It was weak, and it wasn't nearly enough to start a revolution like this.

But there was hope in the Districts, all because one girl decided that she wanted to defy the Capitol in the Hunger Games. Sure, Johanna was a little jealous she hadn't thought of that earlier. She should be pissed off at Katniss Everdeen, because her little stunt was going to force Johanna to go back into arena. After all, Johanna knew she was the only female from District Seven, just like Katniss Everdeen was the only female from District Twelve. In fact, they were the only two who were guaranteed going back into the Games.

Johanna wasn't actually pissed at Katniss at all. It wasn't her fault, and she had done something good. She wasn't as ballsy as Johanna, no, but she was pretty close. Not only had Katniss given people hope for a better future with just a couple of berries... but there was another reason that Johanna didn't want to admit. Going into the Games together would force Katniss to be in close quarters with her. They would have to make each others acquaintance at one point or another, something Johanna had wanted to do with the newest victor for a long time.

She thought she might get the opportunity to say something charming and witty when Katniss visited District Seven during the Victory Parade, but on that day, for the first time ever, Peacekeepers showed up at her door, as well as the other victors' doors, and held her there at gunpoint.

_"Oh you bastards!" _ She remembered yelling at them, _"When we get a new Victor you're going to lock me up like this? But when Corin dies you assholes practically drag me out of my house and force me to go to this thing? What are you going to do if I go? Shoot me? Just shoot me already!"_

Obviously they hadn't shot her. That would've been too easy. Her life would have been over, and therefore her misery would have just ended. No, Johanna was pretty sure that she was condemned to suffering for the rest of her life. Instead they had just chosen to handcuff her to her staircase until Katniss and Peeta were long gone from District Seven.

_Riiiinnnngggg. Riiiiinnnnnggggg. _

Her phone snapped her out of those memories. She threw the cup against the wall before getting up. She was a little wobbly, but she made it to the phone. "Hello?" She muttered.

"Johanna?" The familiar voice said over the phone.

Johanna started laughing, probably because she was a little tipsy, "Finnick! What's going on?"

"I wanted to see if you're okay." He sounded worried.

"I don't know. I'm not but I'll be fine." Johanna started pounding the wall, "I don't understand Snow. He killed all my friends and family, why can't he just leave me alone already?"

There was a long pause on Finnick's end, "I don't think he's doing this to spite you, for once."

"I know."

"Look, I wanted to talk to you about something else," Finnick said, speaking a little quieter, "But Annie's here and I don't think she needs to hear it."

"What is it, Fin?" Johanna sighed.

"I don't think you're going to like this, but I need to tell you because other than Katniss you're the only one guaranteed to go back in the Games."

Johanna groaned, "If you called to lighten my mood, you're doing a terrible job. I already knew that you jack-"

"No no no. Listen." Finnick cut her off, he was whispering now, "I needed to tell you something else. Even if Annie and I are in the Games, it doesn't matter who else is in the Games..."

"Just spit it out Finnick." Johanna muttered, getting bored.

"Katniss needs to win again."

* * *

This was a hard pill for Johanna to swallow.

Sure, Snow was doing this just to kill Katniss, she pretty much figured that out. So getting Katniss to win would be their own way of rebelling. It was kind of weird to hear Finnick pitch that idea, but Johanna already assumed that idea would be tossed around. She hadn't committed to anything. She didn't want to commit to giving her life to Katniss, unless there was a better reason. Sure, Katniss was a beautiful girl, but if Johanna stepped in the way of every beautiful girl who was in trouble, she would've had thirty near-death encounters by now, and probably would've been long dead.

Right now, she didn't care what happened to her because within a few weeks she probably would be dead. Especially if Finnick was in the Games with her. Finnick would probably kill her himself, and she wasn't sure if she could bring herself to kill him at all. He was the closest thing she had to a friend, even though the circumstances in which they met were the most devastating moments in Johanna's life.

But right now, she was storming right through to the peacekeeper housing. She was well aware of all of the people staring at her as she walked through. They were staring for obvious reasons, but Johanna had her eyes focused only on the road ahead of her. Her grip was tight on one of the axes she kept in her home. They weren't going to let her keep any, but Johanna had managed to convince them to. After this, they would probably clear her home of anything that would remotely resemble a weapon. Or just keep her locked up until reaping day.

She was finally at the peacekeeper housing, and some of them were walking around outside, having a good time. Probably not on duty right now, but a few of them froze at the sight of her. A few of them started shouting at her, yelling at her to stop. She kept heading towards one house.

Outside the peacekeeper housing complex, a large crowd had gathered, watching to see what their crazy Victor was up to this time.

The head peacekeeper stepped out of his home, with his uniform on but his helmet off. "Excuse me, but you're trespassing on private property. If you do not get off now I will be forced to -"

Suddenly, there was an axe in his head.

Johanna was still standing a good ten feet away still, but no axe in her hand anymore. She smirked to herself, as there was a loud echoing gasp throughout the crowd. The other peacekeepers raised their guns at her.

"What are you going to do? Shoot me?" Johanna laughed. She was insane. "Go ahead, kill me! I'd love to see Snow try and pull another District Seven female Victor out of his ass! Shoot me! See how he does the Games without me, why don't you?!" She was yelling at them, but nobody was taking the shot.

Then... A peacekeeper tackled her to the ground, handcuffing her. He yanked her off and removed his helmet.

It was Ryker.

"Oh. The rumors are true!" She laughed to herself before spitting in his face. "So you don't have to be just from District Two to be a peacekeeper, as long as you're kissing the right ass, right?" Ryker punched her in the jaw and she fell to the ground. He pulled her back up again.

"I should be mad that you just killed my boss, but thanks for helping me. I should be getting a promotion tomorrow." He grinned somewhat maniacally. Johanna couldn't help but have the feeling that she helped do this to him. His mind was so twisted now.

She sighed, "I guess when I come back, it's your head I'm coming for then."


	13. Chapter 13

"Why did you kill poor Arden?"

Johanna was sitting at the table with a well dressed, polite young man. He probably worked for the Capitol. She was handcuffed to the table, sitting in a well guarded room. Must have been some sort of prison, and this man was the first visitor she'd gotten.

"Is that really any of your business?" Johanna nearly spat on him.

The man nodded, "Considering Arden was one of my most loyal employees, I'd like to know why he was murdered last night."

"So you're the guy in charge of the peacekeepers, huh?" Johanna smiled at him. But it was nothing less than a devious smile.

The man smiled back, still polite, "Of course! Someone has to be! So please, why don't you share your story with me."

Johanna took in a deep breath, "Remember that Village fire in my District a few years ago?" The man nodded, "My family was killed in it, so I wanted to find out how that fire may have been started. Well later that year I met a nice young man by the name of Finnick Odair. He told me that he had just spent some time with a pretty, beautiful Capitol official, and he told her this crazy story about how Snow ordered to have half of District Seven up in flames."

"I wouldn't trust everything Mr. Odair says. He has a grandiose way of speaking," the man interjected.

"As do you, sir." Johanna said, with false politeness, "But I trusted him when he said that. So I went to look for this woman, and I had a drink with her, and I asked her a few questions of my own. I learned that your loyal peacekeeper Arden had been single handedly ordered to set fire to the village. The place where I grew up. And so he did."

"You killed him because of a fire?"

"I killed him because he killed my family."

* * *

"Really, Johanna?" Aris was standing in front of her jail cell alongside Blight. She was dressed in an obnoxious sparkly outfit, as usual. It was the only form of color in the jail right now, and it was sickening. Johanna knew she was going to spend the next half our of her life getting scolded while her stylists prepped her for the day. "I come back here to find out that I have to personally bail you out of jail just to take you to the reaping?"

The peacekeeper unlocked her cell and led her out.

"I trust you won't pull anything stupid?" Blight said, arms crossed.

Johanna rolled her eyes, "Of course not." What was he, her father?

She strutted out of the cell quickly, but Aris caught up fast. "You look filthy. How are you supposed to look presentable in less than half an hour? Good thing I opted to bring the entire team with me this time. I had a feeling you would be a mess."

"Who cares what I look like?" Johanna groaned.

"Who cares?" Aris shrilled, "Sponsors, that's who!"

She tiptoed along, pushing her way past Johanna. There was a short moment of silence before Johanna's uncensored thoughts rolled right off of her tongue, "Hey Aris. I've been curious. Does wearing that many sparkles have side effects?"

"Side effects? Heavens no! Why would they?" Aris was confused.

"Are you sure? I mean, they don't make you vomit rainbows and crap out glitter?" Johanna wasn't smirking or smiling, but rather glaring at the District Seven escort. Blight slapped her along the shoulder in a scolding manner, but Aris continued forward as if it didn't matter.

"You're going to have a hard time making any friends there." Blight muttered.

Johanna shrugged, "Why make friends when I'm just going to have to kill them?"

* * *

"Well this is bull." Finnick muttered as he casually leaned against the dark horse, popping a sugar cube into his mouth. Tributes all around him were getting prepped by their stylists for the Tribute Parade, but Johanna had cursed hers away already. She was standing with her arms crossed, pissed off. Nothing out of the ordinary.

"Which part?" Johanna smirked at him, "The part where you and I are eventually going to have to die, or the fact that you're only wearing a net on your crotch and it's actually really cold?"

Finnick laughed, "My dear, I think we can agree that I have the best outfit in the room."

"You did." Johanna said. She was looking over his shoulder now at Katniss, who had just walked in. She was standing by her chariot, all alone. She looked incredibly fierce, but at the same time she looked absolutely stunning. Johanna didn't want to think of Katniss like this, especially since everything about the girl pissed her off. The phony love affair and engagement to Peeta. That whole "innocent hero" air she had about her. It was sickening, and yet Johanna found herself having other feelings for the girl. Feelings she hadn't really felt since the first time she'd seen Corin. She shook her head, as if to shake those thoughts from her mind. She needed to stay focused, if she were to have a fighting chance in these Games.

"I should go talk to her." Finnick mused, "Want to make a wager?" Johanna raised an eyebrow at him, "You think you're more pleasant to be around than she is. If that's not the case based on first impressions, you teach me how to use the axe. If she is, in fact, colder than you, I'll teach you how to catch fish."

"Okay, deal." Johanna shrugged. She would have preferred going over to talk to Katniss, but she didn't really know what to say. Finnick was much more suave anyway. Johanna would probably insult Katniss within the first five minutes. Not that it would be a problem, because it was just Johanna's natural habit. And it wasn't like Katniss would ever return these incredibly awkward feelings that Johanna was having just by looking at the other girl. She would be crazy to think that it would ever happy.

So instead, she was forced to watch as Finnick grabbed another sugar cube and headed over. But instead of watch, she needed to distract herself. The tribute parade was a big day. She might have been a crappy mentor, but she knew she was a good tribute. So it was time to put her skills to use.

As she was getting on the chariot next to Blight, Finnick strode past her, all smiles. "You owe me lessons." He smirked, and kept walking. Johanna rolled her eyes and looked back at Katniss and Peeta. Holding hands.

There was this feeling in her gut, as if somebody had punched her. It was unfair, because Katniss paid no mind to her surroundings. She hadn't even noticed Johanna and she couldn't decide if that was a good thing, or if that was insulting. As a matter of fact, she was just getting angrier thinking about it. She turned her head around and faced the front.

_She's got to be the first person I'll be sinking my axe into. _Johanna thought as the Chariot lurched forward, _Otherwise, the rest of the Games will be impossible. _


	14. Chapter 14

"Well we looked terrible." Johanna muttered as she strode off of the chariot. District Twelve stole the show for a second year in a row with their fire outfits. Why couldn't her own stylist be the least bit imaginative. Every single year, the women were dressed as a tree and the men were dressed as a lumberjack. Johanna could serious rip her stylist's throat out right now. But every time she went to talk to the stylist about switching it up, the crazy lady always fled in the other direction. She was scared of Johanna. But Johanna was okay with that.

Blight just muttered to himself and walked away. Johanna looked around the room and saw Finnick and Mags dismounting their chariot. She strode over to them. "Mags, you look lovely." Johanna smiled at her with all sincerity. It was incredibly easy to be nice to Mags, who was probably the sweetest woman she'd ever met. When her brother had been killed in the 72nd Games, Mags was the first one to walk up to Johanna and just hug her. It was a weird feeling, but it had calmed Johanna down and she was always going to be grateful for that.

Mags patted Johanna on the shoulder and smiled at her. Finnick crossed his arms and leaned against the chariot, "So tomorrow, first thing in the training room, teach me how to properly throw an axe!"

"I have to apologize in advance if it hits you in the face." Johanna said with a cunning smile. "My aim isn't perfect."

Finnick shrugged, "You don't _have_ to throw it at me!" He looked over Johanna's shoulder, "But I'm starving, so I'm going to get up to my room in a moment, I just have a potential sponsor waiting for me first. So I'll talk to you later." He winked at her and turned around.

"Goodnight Mags," Johanna said and turned around walking towards the elevator. She paused for a moment as she noticed the three District Twelve Victors heading for the same elevator. She shook her head and continued forward. She was pretty pissed at them right now, for stealing the thunder again. Not that it was their fault.

She stepped into the elevator right as it was about to close. "You guys look wonderful." She muttered. She wasn't being sarcastic, but the bitterness was high in her voice.

Johanna couldn't really remember what had happened next. All she knew was that all of the sudden she was standing naked in front of the District Twelve Victors. Both Peeta and Haymitch were staring at her, smiling while Katniss was doing her best to avert her eyes. Johanna winked at the boys, even though she didn't care for either of them at all. She looked at Katniss, smirking. She looked very uncomfortable, which was nice for Johanna. She felt empowered by the fact that she could so easily make the other girl uncomfortable.

The door opened, "Thanks, let's do it again sometime!" Johanna said happily and walked out. Half of her hoped that Katniss might follow her, the other half was afraid that one of the boys might follow her. How awkward would that be.

She walked to her room, where Blight was relaxing on the couch. He sat up straight when Johanna walked in. "What the..." He couldn't even finish his sentence.

"Don't look." Johanna glared at him. Blight immediately averted his gaze and Johanna strutted right into her room.

* * *

"Katniss needs to be kept alive."

Johanna rolled her eyes at Haymitch, who was sitting in front of her. He was nervous, on the edge of his seat with his hands folded. He'd brought a peace offering with him, two boxes of chocolates for herself and for Blight, who was sitting beside her trying to understand the proposal. She popped one in her mouth, "Why does everyone keep saying that?"

Haymitch looked around, as if he were going to get stabbed if he said the next words. He spoke in a whisper, "Look, I'm only telling you this because I trust you two, okay. There's a plan in motion to end the Games for good. People are rebelling, you've seen it in your District I'm sure."

"Yeah, so people are rebelling. But how is that going to help you end the Games for good? We've already done everything we can to get this one cancelled." Blight muttered in disbelief.

"Well, we can only do that with your help. Finnick, Mags, Wiress, Beetee, Chaff, and Seeder have all already agreed to this. I'm talking to you two now, and then the District Six tributes after. I don't trust One and Two, I don't know about the rest." Haymitch started babbling.

Johanna leaned closer, "What exactly is it that you want us to agree to."

Haymitch took a deep breath, "Havensbee isn't who you think he is."

"He's not the head gamemaker?" Blight asked.

"He is, but he's not just that. He's also a prominent member of the government of District Thirteen."

"District Thirteen?" Johanna practically hissed, "How much have you had to drink today Haymitch?"

He sighed, "I know, it sounds too good to be true, but people have been living there apart from the Capitol's reign for years now. They found out about what's going on in the Districts, and how Katniss started a fire and now they want to help. Havensbee has been working his way up the ladder for a long time now, and finally he's where we need him to be. Keep Katniss alive, that's all you guys need to do, and we will send in some people to get you out of the Games."

"Some people from District Thirteen are going to rescue us?" Johanna asked. Haymitch nodded. "Well it all sounds great, so Katniss agreed she's going to tolerate me long enough not to put an arrow through my head?"

Haymitch bit his lip, "Well. Here's the thing. She can't know what's going on. Snow is watching her twenty-four seven, we can't afford to have him know what's going on. It needs to look like the Games are going on as normal. People will die before we can get to you."

"Well, if you haven't noticed, Katniss doesn't like me very much." Johanna shrugged.

"Don't take it personally," Haymitch laughed, "She doesn't like most people. But luckily for you, Peeta does and as long as he's okay and around, he'll make sure she doesn't hurt you. It would help to try and be friendlier with her."

"The Games are tomorrow, I don't think I have time for that." Johanna muttered, "But fine, I'll protect Katniss, anything else?"

"Two more things." Haymitch said, "I need you two to make sure you get Wiress and Beetee to Katniss and Peeta. We can't get you out without them, and Katniss will trust you since she wants them as allies." Johanna took in a deep breath, "Also, when it's time... don't forget to remove her tracker. That is key."

"So you're not just pulling our legs? You plan on actually rescuing us?" Blight said, looking hopefully. Haymitch nodded and the two men shook hands.

_There goes the plan to kill her then!_ Johanna thought to herself.

* * *

"Ugh!" Johanna grunted as she swung the axe into one of the training dummies. It was late and she couldn't sleep, but they had agreed to let her into the training room to waste some time and keep her mind off of things. They were probably too afraid to say no to her anymore. _Good, _she thought, _Let them be afraid._

She did a twirl, swinging the axe over her head, and throwing it at another dummy across the room. It landed right in it's chest. She smiled to herself. Still hadn't lost her touch. Good thing she'd spent the past few years continuing to workout rather than get lazy. Also, next to Katniss and Peeta, she was the next youngest of the tributes so she was in excellent shape. Had there not been a plan to get them out, Johanna felt like she might have had a fighting chance at winning a second time. Not that she wanted to kill all of these people.

She yanked the axe out of the chest of the dummy, and as she did she heard the door slam behind her. She turned around to see Katniss standing in the doorway. Johanna froze for a second while Katniss was giving her a funny look.

"What are you doing down here?" Katniss said, a bit of hostility in her voice.

Johanna smirked at the girl, "Couldn't sleep."

"Oh," Katniss muttered, walking over to the rack of weapons, "Me neither." She picked the bow of course. Johanna stood in the same place, watching her every move. "You're gonna keep your clothes on this time right?"

"If that's what you want." Johanna said flatly. It was starting to sound like she really didn't like the other girl. And she didn't. But she did. It wasn't something Johanna could quite explain yet, and it wasn't something she really wanted to know right now. She needed to keep her head in the game.

Katniss didn't answer, but instead aimed her arrow at a dummy. She hit it right in the head.

"My turn!" Johanna piped up, stepping closer to Katniss. She threw the axe in a diagonal direction, slicing the head right off of the dummy. There was silence in the room. "Why aren't you upstairs with your fiance right now?"

Katniss looked confused, like she couldn't find the right words, "I.. uhh.. he's asleep... I think. I don't-"

"Jeez. Don't choke on your words now." Johanna was fighting back a laugh. She walked over to pick the axe up off of the ground, "If I may be blunt, I think pretty much the whole world knows you don't really care about the poor boy."

"That's not true!" Katniss hissed at her.

"It isn't?" Johanna was smiling now. She was amused, though Katniss certainly wasn't. "So then you're just a terrible kisser?"

Katniss was taken aback a bit by this. "I'm... not."

Johanna crossed her arms, a little bit in a mocking fashion, "Come on Katniss. It has to be one of those two things." She started closing the distance between the two of them. "You can't be a good kisser and in love with Peeta and not be able to convince all of Panem." They were less than an inch apart now, and Katniss seemed to be growing even more uncomfortable. It was just like the elevator, this seemed to empower Johanna, yet again. But at the same time, she just wanted Katniss to relax.

She leaned closer to Katniss, smirking one more time at the girl before uncrossing her arms and putting her hands on either side of Katniss's face. Katniss was frozen in place, but made no effort to stop Johanna.

Johanna didn't know why being in Katniss's presence seemed to make her do crazy things, but they did. Twice now. Because, without even realizing exactly what she was doing, she placed her lips on Katniss's. She wasn't being gentle, moving her own lips forcefully against the other girl's, tracing her tongue on the outline of her lips. But Katniss seemed to still be frozen.

She pushed Katniss away with a little bit of extra force, almost causing the girl to stumble. She looked at Johanna almost as if she wanted more. No, that couldn't be it though. Johanna's mind had to be playing tricks on her.

Johanna pursed her lips together, "Maybe I was wrong. Maybe you do actually love Peeta." She shrugged, and turned to walk out of the room before Katniss could comment on that hidden pun.


	15. Chapter 15

"You really are ballsy Johanna."

Finnick was lying on the couch in the living room of the District Four housing area. He was tossing a ball into the air and catching it. He spoke in a soft tone, because Mags was fast asleep already.

"Had I known we were supposed to protect her ass I might not have stripped down in front of her." Johanna shrugged. Finnick couldn't control his laughter now, so he had to grab a nearby pillow to muffle it so he didn't wake Mags. "Stop laughing at me!" Johanna grabbed some sort of donut off of the table and threw it at him, but she couldn't help but laugh a little at herself as well.

Finnick wiped a stray tear from his face and sat up. His smile dropped and his tone suddenly got more serious. "Launch is only in nine hours. We really should get some sleep since we have to be up two hours before."

Johanna shrugged, "I should feel better, with what's going to happen and all. But I still can't sleep."

"We can try, right?" Finnick stretched and yawned. "Getting rest is our best bet. Gloss was giving me death stares in the training room yesterday. But I think I caught Cashmere checking you out."

Johanna scoffed and rolled her eyes, "Good night Fin."

* * *

Johanna exited the elevator, fully dressed this time, and walked towards her room. Blight was flipping through a Capitol Couture magazine on the couch. "Why aren't you asleep?" Johanna asked.

"Why weren't you here? I was kind of worried about you." Blight said putting the magazine down.

"What are you, my father?" Johanna tried to walk past him but he blocked her. "I was with Finnick, okay?"

Blight paused for a moment, looking Johanna in the eye. "I'm so sorry."

She was completely confused now. "Sorry for what?"

"I had no idea that you and Finnick were together, I mean he didn't strike me as the kind of guy to want to settle down and let's face it you can be pretty volatile and hard to be around."

Johanna stared at Blight with her mouth agape before bursting into laughter, "You think Finnick and I are together? You really are nuts!" Now it was Blight's turn to be confused. "We just talk, that's all. He's in love with someone else and he's into himself enough for the both of us." She shrugged and pushed past Blight towards her room.

She opened the door as Blight spoke, "Oh yeah, we have a visitor."

Johanna had already noticed, as she was standing in her doorway looking right at Katniss Everdeen. "Thanks, Blight." She said clenching her teeth. She shut the door behind her, still glaring at Katniss, who was sitting on her bed. "Thought you would've gone to sleep by now."

Katniss shrugged, "I layed with Peeta until he fell asleep but I'm still awake."

"You didn't strike me as the nervous type." Johanna said as she pulled off her shirt, "Oh! I hope you don't mind. I need to change into comfier clothes."

"At least this is a more appropriate location." Katniss muttered.

Johanna laughed as she finished putting on her clothes, "Indeed it is. So tell me... why are you here Katniss?" She stood as far as she possibly could stand from Katniss right now. She was still a little upset by their encounter in the training room earlier in the night. Though she really didn't feel like she had a reason to be so upset.

Katniss looked... embarrassed? No that couldn't be right. She didn't strike Johanna as the type to get embarrassed. But she was... she was blushing. Johanna didn't understand, until Katniss finally broke the silence, "You said I was a bad kisser."

"I don't think I actually said th-"

"But you implied it." Katniss said standing up and walking a little closer to Johanna. Now it was her turn to feel slightly uncomfortable. But it was the kind of uncomfortable that felt weirdly good. "I need to be convincing."

"Well, kissing you was like kissing a log if you want me to be completely honest." Johanna told her with all the brutality she could add in her tone. She wanted Katniss to stop inching forward. But the girl didn't. She kept walking closer. Johanna's room wasn't that big, so it was only a matter of seconds before the gap between them was gone.

"To be fair you took me off guard." Katniss said, "I've never kissed a girl before." Johanna's eyes were glued on Katniss's eyes, which were looking downward. All of the sudden, Johanna's hand was intertwined in Katniss's. She let out a breath.

"Technically you -"

Katniss cut Johanna off with a kiss. It wasn't much. It was a peck, but it was enough to shut her up. Katniss let go of Johanna's hand and backed away. "I don't know why I'm here. I mean, I hate you -"

"Gee thanks."

"Well you hate me." Katniss said. There was a bit of sass in her tone.

"I don't hate you Katniss. I only really hate one person and it's not you. Trust me." Johanna said. A smile started to play on Katniss's lips, which forced Johanna to smile a little herself in return. "So you came here for that? I wasn't expecting that."

Katniss shrugged, "Well I... you.." She was having trouble finding words, but Johanna only smiled more at this. She was starting to make herself sick, after spending so long trying to build up this 'tough girl' act, one girl could waltz in and break it all down. But no matter what... she was liking it. Katniss still couldn't find the right words, but actions always spoke louder than words. Maybe that's why Katniss chose to throw her arms around Johanna's neck and pull her into another kiss. This one much longer and with passion.

Johanna was taken by surprise by this, but almost immediately sunk into this kiss, and started running her hands slowly up and down Katniss's back, as this tingling sensation ran through her own body. She hadn't felt that in a very long time. "Hmm," Johanna started to speak between kisses, "That was less like a log and more like a human!" She smiled against the other girl's lips.

"You're a bitch sometimes." Katniss muttered, but Johanna only responded by pushing the girl to the bed. Katniss fell and Johanna crawled over her, her lips trailing down Katniss's neck. The other girl was breathing faster now.

Johanna brought her face back to Katniss's and closed her eyes, kissing the other girl softly. But when she opened them, for a moment, in a quick flash, she saw Corin.

Johanna jumped, and practically fell off the bed. She got up and stumbled away from Katniss.

"What?" Katniss said, looking a little offended.

Johanna was wide-eyed and shaking her head. "Get out," she practically whispered.

"Wait, what?" Katniss didn't understand.

"I said, get out." Johanna said. Nothing happened. "GET OUT!" She started screaming, "GET OUT NOW!"

As if he'd been standing outside the door, Blight was immediately inside the room, having barreled through. Johanna looked like she might jump on Katniss and strangle her to death. Katniss didn't look afraid, but only hurt because she didn't know what she did wrong.

"You're crazy Johanna!" Katniss said, but Blight was by her side pulling her by the arm.

"Let's leave her alone, okay? She needs to get some sleep." Blight gently helped Katniss up and out of the room, giving Johanna a scolding look before closing the door behind him.

Johanna lifted her head to the ceiling and let out a shrill scream, before turning to the wall and punching a gaping hole in it. With that, she collapsed in a heap on the ground where she stayed until she fell asleep.


	16. Chapter 16

_Ten. Nine. Eight._

The clock in the cornucopia ticked loudly as the countdown began. Johanna was looking around. Blight was about five tributes down, nodding at her. Beetee was directly next to her, but he seemed to be panicking. Probably because there was water everywhere. And water and electricity didn't mesh well, he'd probably never swam a day in his life.

_Seven. Six. Five._

Finnick was about several people away, the furthest tribute in her line of sight on her left hand side, and Peeta the furthest in her line of sight on the right. Maybe one of them could see Katniss, because she couldn't. She was probably directly on the other side of the Cornucopia. _Go figure. _She thought to herself.

_Four. Three. Two._

She tensed, looking directly at the Cornucopia. There were several axes in view, and she knew she could get to them. She wasn't the fastest swimmer, but she could get there. Luckily for her, Finnick would probably get there before any Careers.

_One._

She jumped into the water. Several others around her did so as well, but some stayed on their pedestals like sitting ducks. She couldn't be bothered with them right now, she swam towards the ledge that would lead her to the Cornucopia. She was up on hers at the same time that the District Nine Girl got up on it.

_Boom._

Someone had already died somewhere else. They weren't waiting for the bloodbath to be over this time. No, it was real. Johanna started running towards the Cornucopia, but the District Nine girl followed. Johanna stopped to turn around, and as she did so, the District Nine girl slammed right into her. She fell backwards, but Johanna stayed stable on her feet, being the obviously stronger one of the two. The girl was up again and lunging towards Johanna who was prepared for this hand to hand combat. But the girl clearly didn't notice the man who showed up behind her, snapping her neck.

_Boom._

"Come on, Blight. I had that." Johanna muttered.

Blight wasn't in a playful mood. Neither was Johanna, to be fair. He looked over towards Beetee, "You get him, I'll go find Wiress."

"We need weapons though!" Johanna argued.

"Get some if you can, but don't let him die!" Blight jumped back into the water and started swimming towards another ledge. With that, Johanna turned and sprinted towards the Cornucopia. Right as she got there, another tribute turned the corner and aimed his trident right in her face.

"Johanna?" Finnick said, lowering it.

She let out a sigh of relief and grabbed two axes, placing them both at her belt. One for herself and one for Blight, of course. "Finnick, I'm glad to see-"

"Johanna!" He said harshly, pointing out towards the water. She turned to see Beetee struggling to keep his head above water. "You get him, I'll go get Peeta. Keep him and Wiress safe, and I've got Katniss okay?"

"But-"

"Just go!" He said and started to run off, "We'll find you soon!"

Johanna didn't like this, splitting up from Finnick. Not only would she feel safer with him, but she also felt like she had a duty to protect him as well. She wanted to, he was the closest thing she had to a friend anymore. But this was what needed to be done, and with that, she sprinted back on the ledge and dove in the water near where Beetee was. The weight of the axes were slowing her down, but she was a strong girl and she powered through until she got to Beetee.

"Hey!" She yelled and him. He was thrashing in the water, making it harder for her to swim. She slapped him in the face, "Hey stop moving so much!" She yelled and grabbed his hand. He looked a little scared, "Grab my hand come on!" She led him towards the ledge and he climbed up, breathing heavily as he lay on his back. Johanna grabbed his arms and pulled him up. "What, are you on a vacation or something? Let's get out of here!"

"Wiress!" His eyes were wide as he sat up, looking towards the beach. Wiress was bolting towards the forest, with Blight hot on her trail. Beetee was up and sprinting down the ledge towards the beach. Johanna cursed under her breath and chased after him.

They got to the forest, only a few feet in where they found Blight comforting Wiress. She was curled up in a ball, rocking back and forth. Blight looked back at Johanna, "I helped her out of the water. But as soon as we got to the beach she elbowed me in the gut and took off sprinting."

"Look, I hate to be the nag, but we really have to keep moving. I want to get as far away from that Cornucopia as possible." Johanna said. She could still see it, and the Career pack circling around it, fighting anybody who tried to go near. As soon as the bloodbath was over, they'd begin to hunt. And she couldn't stay hidden this year, they knew she wasn't weak like she had pretended to be in her first Games. That strategy wouldn't work again. She scanned the beach, the parts she could see, but she couldn't find Finnick. Or Katniss.

She really wanted to find Katniss to apologize for last night. Johanna didn't apologize to people often, and they had to be pretty darn special to receieve the honor. Johanna was afraid to admit it, but after that moment, she realized just how special Katniss was becoming to her. She didn't hate Katniss, no she was telling the truth when she said that. She hated how Katniss made her feel. She felt weak sometimes, when she wanted to feel in charge. She felt powerless when it came to these emotions she had towards the girl, and it was tearing her apart inside. The only reason she'd yelled at Katniss last night was because she was reminded of how easy it was for Snow to take away the people she loved. She didn't love Katniss, not yet. There was too much bitterness in her. But she didn't want to. Not yet. Or else Snow would try and take her away too. Johanna couldn't have that.

"Johanna, let's go." Blight said, snapping her out it.

She took one last look at the beach and the Cornucopia, but there was nothing. Johanna felt sick to her stomach right now. She felt so... helpless. She shook the thoughts off of her mind. She needed to focus on keeping Beetee, Wiress, and Blight safe.

She turned back around and sprinted ahead of the others, leading the way, further into the forest.


	17. Chapter 17

"Blight!"

Johanna yelled into the dark. "Blight where are you!?" She tried to yell but started to choke on the rain. She fell to her knees, coughing it up. She could barely see her hand in front of her, let alone any of the other.

The hot, thick blood had started pouring on them half an hour ago. The four had tried to get away from it, stumbling blindly through the arena. Johanna was completely lost now, and she had no idea if the other three were safe.

There was a loud zap up ahead, and the sound of a body crashing to the floor. "Blight?" She yelled, spitting out blood between words, "Beetee? Wiress?" She tried to call out. No answer. She swept her hands along the floor of the forest until they hit a body. Her hand felt the lifeless but familliar face of her district partner.

_Boom._

She cursed to herself, wanting to move away from him. But she could barely move. The weight of the blood was dragging her down.

Then... it stopped.

She looked around. The entire forest seemed to be covered in blood. Blight was underneath her, and there was nothing she could do to save him. She pushed herself away from his body, trying not to let his death get to her head too much. But he was like a father to her, in some ways. She was going to miss his annoying over-protectiveness. The way he'd been around her since she won the 71st Hunger Games, which he had mentored her through. He had always known she was incredibly strong, but it was his idea to hide that from the other tributes. Basically, she probably wouldn't have won if it wasn't for Blight. And now he was dead.

She wiped some blood from her face, but only succeeded in smudging it all over.

"Johanna?" She snapped her head up, spotting Beetee, wiping his glasses. "What happened?"

"I don't know, there was a flash..."

"He must have hit the force field." Beetee said, squinting at the way above them.

"The what?" Johanna stood up and started walking towards where he was looking.

Beetee grabbed her arm and pulled her back, "I wouldn't do that."

"Where Wiress?" She snapped all of the sudden.

He pointed behind him, "She's sitting down over there. She's in shock." Johanna walked over.

Wiress was hugging her knees, rocking back and forth. "Tick Tock. Tick Tock. Tick Tock."

"Wiress are you alright?" Johanna asked, though she wasn't really sure she cared. She knew she needed to offer the two as a peace offering if they were to ever run into Katniss, and she didn't know exactly what it was, but she knew that Beetee was going to play in instrumental role in getting them all out of here. So she needed to play nice still and keep them safe, or else she might find an arrow through her head.

_Boom._

Johanna and Beetee looked to the sky. Another one of their friends had fallen. Well, Johanna couldn't call them friends. She was still one of the younger victors and hadn't made any sort of effort to be friendly to any of them. Beetee seemed to be taking it hard, every time that cannon went off.

"How about we start heading towards the beach?" Johanna suggested, helping Wiress to her feet.

The woman started to walk in the other direction, pointing, "Tick Tock. Tick Tock."

"No no no, this way!" She grabbed Wiress's arm and tugged her back. She was not in the mood for this nonsense right now. "Let's go, alright!" She continued to drag Wiress. Beetee was a little more willing to follow.

* * *

"Come on!" Johanna said, trying to get Wiress to come out of the forest. She was standing on the beach. Neither of the District Three tributes wanted to come out. Finally, she grabbed Beetee by the hand and pulled him out. He's giving her a hard time, until he collapses on the ground below her. She threw her hands up, giving up.

"Johanna?" She heard her name. She was wrong about that. But she turned around to see a familiar face running towards her.

"Finnick!" She said happily and ran up into his embrace. She was incredibly happy to see him. She looked behind him and saw Katniss and Peeta cautiously walking towards them. No Mags. "Oh no..." She whispered to herself. Finnick held her shoulders and looked at her.

"What happened?" He asked.

She sighed as she started to tell her story. She knew she was rambling when her eyes fell on Katniss, and she lost track of a few of her words for a moment, "...that's when Blight hit the force field." She said with a sigh and quickly added, "He wasn't much but he was from home." She said that so that they wouldn't know how upset she really was about this. She didn't need them comforting her.

She was happy to see Katniss, and to see that she was safe and doing well. But right now, she was mostly happy that Katniss had put her arrow away. She was still getting an angry glare from her. She obviously wasn't happy to see her. Johanna wanted to apologize in some way, but she knew she couldn't right now. Not around Finnick or Peeta, or Snow and all of Panem for that matter. She hated it though, there was a little bit of a soft spot for this girl.

"Tick tock." Wiress is placing her hands all over Johanna now, repeating the words.

"Okay really?" She muttered to herself and tried pushing Wiress away, shoving her to the ground instead. "Just stay down, will you?" She snarled at Wiress.

"Hey!" She heard Katniss pipe up for the first time behind her. "Lay off her!" Katniss had her hand on an arrow now, and Johanna didn't waste any time lunging at her. She was fire up now, that Katniss would dare even say anything like that, after all the hell she had been through trying to keep them safe.

Luckily for the both of them, Finnick was quickly in between them, and already dragging Johanna away. She was thrashing, trying to get out of Finnick's grip. She didn't want to be handled so much like that. She started yelling at Katniss, "I got them out for you! Are you kidding m-"

All of the sudden Finnick dunked her in the water, and lifted her back up. "Calm down, Jo." He said softly, pushing her away. She only grunted and turned around. Katniss had obviously been confused, but now her focus was on Wiress.

Johanna scoffed to herself, and dunked her entire body back in the water, washing the blood off. It felt really good to get all of that junk off of her body. She didn't want to know who it had come from. But she had this sick thought that perhaps it had come from the past fallen tributes. Which would mean...

She shook hear head as she surfaced, not only shaking the thoughts away, but shaking the water out of her hair. She combed her hands through the knotted hair, biting her tongue as she did so. Right now, she was thankful she chose to go a little shorter for the games. She turned around to see Katniss not too far away, helping Wiress wash the blood off.

She turned to the beach to see Finnick talking to Beetee and Peeta. She rolled her eyes, and stepped a little closer to Katniss. She knew she had to protect her, even if she was a little pissed off at her right now. Johanna pulled her axe off of her belt and proceeded to scrub the blood off of it. She looked up and caught Katniss looking at her. Her gaze drifted back down to her axe. She really had a lot of things to say, but didn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry." She said in a quiet whisper. Katniss didn't seem to hear her, and Johanna just cursed again under her breath. She didn't want to have to say it twice.

She didn't have to though, because Wiress started acting up again. "Tick Tock." She said, eyes wildly flashing around, "Tick Tock."

"Okay, I can't even right now." Johanna groaned and put her axe back on her belt, "Have fun with Nuts." She said, walking away, she turned and gave Katniss one more smile. For the first time since meeting, it was an actual smile, not a smirk. Was Johanna being genuine? That was impossible.

But not as impossible as Katniss smiling back at her, as if she were amused but almost happy at the same time.

But it was possible. Because it happened. They smiled at each other. _This is too weird._ Johanna thought to herself as she trudged back up to the beach. Sure, it was weird, but it was kind of nice. Wasn't it?

* * *

**Author's Note:** Hey everyone! Hope you are all enjoying the holiday season, and I hope you are all enjoying my version of Johanna's story! I just wanted to give everyone a heads up. I'm going on a family vacation for five days. Trust me, I tried to get out of it and I failed miserably! So, I will be gone for five days. On the bright side, I'll be taking my laptop with me. On the downside, there's no way to know if I'll have internet or not. If I do have internet, you can definitely expect updates, just not as frequently. If not, I'll be writing, but saving the chapters to my computer and I will update a bunch as soon as I get home!

Hope everyone has a safe and happy New Year!


	18. Chapter 18

**Author's Note:** So good news, I have wifi! Bad news, I'm really busy so updates won't be daily as they've usually been. But I might be able to get in a couple a night! I also wanted to say, for clarification, I am trying to follow the book as best as possible, while adding my own things, except it's about Johanna and of course the added Joniss! So I'm excited to share the ideas I have for "Mockingjay" when we get there! Anyway, hope you guys are enjoying the holiday season! Thanks for reading!

* * *

"Go ahead. Try it. I don't care if you are knocked up, I'll rip your throat out." Johanna said, squinting her eyes at Katniss, who had her hand wrapped around a knife at the moment.

How did they get here?

There was a flood of thoughts and emotions running through Johanna right now. She was pissed off again, not just because Katniss was considering killing her, but also because she was considering killing Katniss. Not only that, but the words "knocked up" were resonating in her head right now. Sometimes Johanna forgot that Peeta even existed for anything more than a nuisance getting in the way and always getting into trouble and needing to be saved. She forgot sometimes that Katniss was supposed to love Peeta, and the thought of her carrying his baby actually ticked her off enough that she would rip her throat out. She'd regret it, immediately, and not just because she'd single handedly kill the revolution, but because she'd kill someone she was secretly starting to care for. She knew she was being extra harsh towards Katniss, but she had to. Not even Finnick knew what was going through her head this time around.

Katniss loosened her hand on the knife and ignored Johanna, who kept her gaze on Katniss a little longer. But Finnick stepped in between. "I want to go to the Cornucopia." He said, and the others were off.

Katniss led the way. Johanna noticed that she was definitely the leader type, even if Katniss didn't realize it. That's why she was perfect for the role of the Mockingjay. She wasn't trying to impose herself on anybody, people would choose to follow her. The problem was, Johanna didn't like listening to anybody, so this would be tough for her.

Peeta was right by Katniss's side, with Beetee and Wiress right behind them. Johanna and Finnick took up the rear.

Johanna felt a tug on her arm, as Finnick stopped for a moment, "Stay close to her while we're there, okay?"

"Why me?" She groaned.

"I'm gonna stay close to Peeta, protect him. You protect her. We may not need to, but you know the Careers, they don't like to leave their Cornucopia." He said. Johanna knew it was what was right, even though right now she'd rather protect Peeta. Maybe Finnick had picked up on her indifference towards him. He was good at reading her, and she didn't like that.

Johanna and Finnick maneuvered around Beetee and Wiress when they got to the Cornucopia, and took up their positions by Katniss and Peeta. Johanna didn't pay much attention after Wiress went back to her little nursery rhyme. She'd heard it a million times already and frankly, she was reaching her boiling point with that woman. The only reason she was still alive was because Katniss wouldn't take it well if Wiress was killed right now. Instead she was watching Katniss watch Peeta as he spoke, her thoughts on how distant she seemed from him. It was all very confusing for her, but she was going to continue to believe that it was all just an act.

All of the sudden, for the first time, the sound of silence brought Johanna back in focus.

_Boom._

She looked up just in time to see Katniss unleash an arrow right into Gloss's chest. In the corner of her eye, she saw something else. The pretty blonde mane running right towards Katniss. Johanna's reaction was almost instant, as if she were hard-wired to protect Katniss already. She pushed the girl out of harms way, throwing the axe, lodging it right into Cashmere's chest.

_Boom._

Johanna glanced at Katniss to make sure she was okay before she dislodged the axe from Cashmere. Luckily, she was fine, getting up and preparing to attack the other two Careers. She heard a yell of pain from Finnick, probably because he was fighting for Peeta like he promised. Her heart dropped a little bit when she heard him, but she didn't have time to check and see if he was okay. There was no cannon, not yet. So at least maybe he would be okay.

But no, right now her focus was on Katniss, who was sprinting out of sight after the District Two Careers. Johanna sprinted after her. _This is dangerous!_ She thought as she sprinted. Finnick wasn't going to come chasing after them, neither was Beetee, who would be no use to them, and if Peeta did then Johanna would be screwed because she'd have to protect the both of them._ He won't risk her life like this. He can't._ Johanna looked up towards the sky, as if she were pleading with Plutarch to help her out a little bit. She would admit it, she was a little afraid of Brutus and Enobaria. She didn't feel like having some woman rip her throat out with her teeth today. And then -

"Oof!" Johanna muttered as she fell flat on her back.

Plutarch answered her prayers, but not in a way she had been expecting. The entire Cornucopia started spinning. It was preventing Katniss from chasing the District Two tributes, and that would guarantee that they couldn't kill her. But what in the world was this?

She felt herself slipping, but she didn't care about herself right now. She looked back at Katniss who was struggling to hold on. Johanna let herself slide down a little more, holding her hand out to Katniss. She grabbed it, just in time, because her grip on her other hand slipped. Johanna gasped, with Katniss's weight pulling on her arm, it was a little painful, but she had to hang on. The water below them was swooshing around, almost impossible to swim in unless you were Finnick. Maybe.

She dug her axe in. "Hang on!" She said, tighteting her grip on Katniss's hand. This wasn't the first time they held hands. No, she remembered the other night very well. This time she did notice, however, how well Katniss's hand fit into her own. _Okay, now is NOT the time!_ She mentally scolded herself. But those two seconds of losing focus were enough. Katniss was slipping.

"NO!" Johanna screamed as Katniss fell straight into the water. With that, she was gone. Out of sight, probably drowning, "What the hell are you doing!" She screamed, looking towards the water for any sign of the other girl. There was nothing. It was as if the water ate her alive. Johanna wanted to punch something right now. Throw her axe at someone. How could they do this to her? Was Plutarch taking a break? What was he thinking? Maybe it was all a lie. Maybe they were never going to get rescued. Maybe he played them all for a fool.

Then, the Cornucopia stopped spinning. Johanna was on her feet instantly. Sure, she was a little dizzy and that made it difficult to run, but she needed to find Katniss. She needed to get to her, somehow, even if she had to dive into the water and get her that way. And then it dawned on her: she _needed_ Katniss. If she died, then so did all of the answers to the questions Johanna had that were running through her mind 24/7. She needed Katniss.

And there she was, pulling herself up onto one of the ledges. Johanna was the first one to her. "Are you okay?" She asked, not even bothering to mask the panic in her voice. No answer, she just pulled herself up, and Johanna was at a loss for words, "I'm sorry," She whispered, "I should've held you tighter I'm sorry." There was no room for Katniss to answer, because Peeta was there, pushing her out of the way. Johanna let him help her up and she looked back at Finnick, as if she had just failed everyone.

He looked at her, squinting his eyes and that's when he figured it out. Johanna felt a pit in her gut right now. Finnick knew Johanna better than she knew herself sometimes. He shook his head at her in disapproval.

He had figured it all out. He knew she was falling for Katniss.


	19. Chapter 19

"You know Katniss really loves Peeta." Finnick said softly to Johanna as they were walking towards the forest.

Johanna looked up at the pair, squinting her eyes. She knew exactly why Finnick was saying this to her right now, since he'd figured everything out already. He knew how she felt, or was starting to feel about Katniss, and he clearly did not approve. Otherwise he wouldn't be saying this. It made Johanna uncomfortable, since Finnick always seemed to know everything. But at least he wasn't blurting it out for all of Panem to hear.

"I knew they loved each other of course, we all did. But I mean she really loves him," Now he was playing it up for the cameras a bit, "When he hit the force field and he almost died, she lost it. I'm a little jealous of them."

"Should've let him die." Johanna muttered, "Now we have to kill him ourselves." She couldn't help but smile at him, acting all innocent about it. Playing up for the cameras could be fun, while still getting their real thoughts out. Nobody would ever know the secret conversation Johanna and Finnick really just had. And that was the way it would stay.

A girl's shrill scream from ahead snapped everybody to attention, but Katniss was the only one to react.

"Prim!" She shrieked and sprinted forward. Instantly, Finnick was on the move and sprinting after it. It was better that way, even with an injured leg he could move much faster than Johanna could. Peeta was sprinting after them now, slowly. He was always very slow. So it didn't take long for Johanna to catch up to him, but she did witness him slam right into some sort of force field.

She ran to his side, for a moment thinking he might be dead. But there was no shock this time, and he was up again, "What is this thing?" He kept hitting it with his hands.

"Are you okay?" Johanna asked, relieved that she didn't have to try and perform CPR for the first time.

"I'm fine, but I can't hear them anymore. It's some sort of shield." He muttered, searching and trying to find an entrance.

Johanna sat down on a log nearby and crossed her legs, "It's keeping us out of the wedge. We might be standing in four o'clock, for example. They're in five. We can't get in, they can't get out. They have to ride it out."

"You think they'll be okay?" He looked at her, panic written all over his face.

Johanna shrugged, "Physically, sure. Those were definitely jabberjays that they heard. So I don't know how much it's messing with their heads right now." Johanna realized that this was the first time she payed any attention to the boy in the Games. In the training room, he was by her side more often than not. She found it to be a little annoying, but he was incredibly friendly and if she tried, she could probably grow to like him. But she wasn't in the mood to make friends most of the time. It wasn't going to work out that way.

It wasn't long until Katniss and Finnick were darting back towards them. Except they couldn't get through to them.

Peeta started panicking again, "Katniss! Stop! You can't get through, stop running!" He was pounding on the wall. But Katniss and Finnick didn't slow down, and they were running full speed at the wall.

"I don't think they can hear us..." Johanna muttered, standing up. She was a little shaken, because of the looks on their faces. She did care about the two of them, and seeing them in pain angered her. The two didn't heed Peeta's warning, and they ended up slamming right into the invisible wall. It became clear by the looks on their faces that they were being tortured, though physically they were fine.

Both of them were hunched in balls on the ground, trying to cover whatever noises these jabberjays were projecting to them. Peeta pulled his knife from his belt and started hacking at the wall with it. It wasn't working. Johanna joined him, swinging her axe, but the force of the blow was enough to send her tumbling backwards. Beetee just sat back, watching.

Johanna felt like this was some unintentional torture for them too, even if they couldn't see anything. She and Peeta had to watch people they cared about in pain, and they could do nothing to get to them. Peeta was taking it really hard, and she actually started to feel bad for him, as she watched him press his face against the wall, making some sort of whimpering noise. Normally she would have said something snarky to get him to shut up, but she knew a little bit of what he was feeling right now. But she kept her composure, though she let her anger boil inside, sitting down a little further from Peeta.

Then, before they knew it, the hour was up. The wall had lifted and Peeta was comforting Katniss.

Johanna was on her feet and ran over to Finnick, who looked like he had just witnessed the death of a lover. She knew that look too well... she had worn the same look once before. It struck a chord with her, as she kneeled by his side, gingerly placing a hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay?" She asked softly. He shrugged her hand off. Johanna didn't know what had happened to him, but she was pretty sure that it had something to do with Annie. She had never seen him like this, and she was the only person who could have this effect on him.

She gave him his space though, right as Peeta was trying to comfort Katniss by telling her that Prim was fine. It sounded believable enough, but Johanna just used that to fuel her fire right now.

"He's right, you know," she cut in. Everybody was looking at her now. "They won't hurt your sister. They can't, everybody loves her! If they hurt her there would be... a rebellion in the Capitol!" She had a feeling that this was no longer being streamed to Panem anymore, but Snow would hear her, and he was the only one she really cared about right now. At least, in regards to hearing this. She started laughing, almost as if she were crazy, "Wouldn't want that, would we now! You can't keep throwing us in here and torturing us!"

Everybody was looking at her now, and she looked away, unable to meet their gaze. She thought of the hundreds of kids that have died over the years, given their lives. Right now, Snow was probably threatening Plutarch to kill Johanna this very second. Because she shouldn't be allowed to get away with saying things like that, especially with a rebellion on the verge of happening right now. She didn't care though, because she frankly didn't care if Snow chose to blow her to bits right now. Nobody would really care if she died, not anymore. She was pretty sure Katniss wanted her dead right now, and Finnick would get over it because he'd have Annie later. There was literally nobody left that would care if she died, and so... neither did she. So why was she still fighting so much?

She started to walk away to get some water but someone grabbed her hand. She didn't even have to turn to know it was Katniss. "Don't go in there." She said, still shaken.

Johanna looked at her and shook her head, "They can't hurt me. I'm not like the rest of you. There's no one left I love." She tugged her hand back, and walked away, so that her allies didn't have to see her face after she said that. All of these flashes hit her all of the sudden. Her mom, braiding her hair. Walking to her first day of school with Ryker for the first time, holding his hand and skipping along because nothing else mattered at the time. The time she taught Jaiden and Jared to climb a tree for the first time. Or when her dad snuck her a piece of bread under the table because she was starving and he had always given Johanna more. There was the time that Jaxon came home and told her about his first crush, and asked for advice on how to talk to girls, even though he was only ten. And of course... she remembered the first time she saw Corin.

She shook her head. All of them were dead. Everybody she had ever cared about was dead. Well, Ryker was alive, but dead to Johanna now. She still had her memories but nothing was left for her future. She took a leaf and collected some of the water from the spile, pouring it over her face and rubbing some of the dirt off. The memories of the loss wore heavy on her, but years had passed since. Years of nothing... years of emptiness. There was a small spark of something worth living for now, but she couldn't peg what it really was that kept her going. Maybe the hope that someday the future would bring something bright into her life. She was still so young, not a kid anymore, but she had a lot of life. She would give it up in a heartbeat for the rebellion, for the people of Panem, for Finnick, even for Peeta, but especially for Katniss.

Everything was a blur as she hobbled down to the beach, where everybody had moved. She held only one "cup" of water, and placed her hand on Katniss's shoulder, before handing it to her and sitting beside her.

She wanted to lean her head on Katniss's shoulder, and let the other girl just hold her. Usually, Johanna was the one comforting people and being strong. The only time she had ever broken that was when she let Finnick simply just hold her the night Corin had died. She had layed her head on his chest. She didn't cry, she didn't make any sort noise, she just rested against him and let the sound of his heartbeat soothe her while he told her stories about his life in District Four. No wonder people sometimes thought they were a couple. But they weren't, nor would they ever be. There was a special bond between them that Johanna was going to be forever grateful for, and she knew she wouldn't have that bond with anybody else.

Maybe eventually she could with Katniss, since she seemed destined to be with Peeta. But Johanna didn't want that. She couldn't be around Katniss without these thoughts and emotions filling up inside her, things she hadn't felt for years. She looked over at Katniss, knowing that the only reason they were going through this again was because of her and what she had done. But it was all going to be worth it.

Her face remained stoic, but she slid her hand through the sand and grabbed Katniss's free hand with a few of her fingers and gave it a squeeze. She couldn't say anything to Katniss, not without Snow and all of Panem listening. But nobody saw this, not the way it was angled. And the little action spoke for her. Besides, everyone else was further away right now so nobody saw it. Katniss glanced at her, but made no move to pull her hand back. It was nice, but that seemed like all their relationship, or lack there of, would ever be. Just nice.


	20. Chapter 20

It was a strange string of events that let Johanna and Katniss to wander alone through the forest in the arena.

Beetee had come up with some genius plan to kill the rest of the Careers. Or at least that's what he was saying for the cameras. Johanna had never been given the exact plan, but she had been given bits and pieces of it, which was why Beetee's coil was so important. And it was also important that Johanna was alone with Katniss now. When the time came, and she'd was told she would know it, she had to take the tracker out of Katniss, no matter what. That might be the single most important piece in this operation.

Johanna was waiting for some kind of sign, as the traveled slowly and silently to the beach. She held Katniss's bow for her, for the majority of the walk so that Katniss could hold the coil, and so that Johanna could make sure Katniss wasn't going to trip over anything. She wasn't sure exactly what to expect, but based on the clues they had been getting, it was going to happen today, and soon based on the timing. She was getting a little nervous about all of this, and Katniss had no idea what was going on. Which meant Johanna was going to have to something pretty drastic in order to get that tracker out of her arm.

"Wait a second," Katniss said. Johanna turned around and looked at her, tugging on the coil, "Something's wrong. It's stuck... It's -"

_Snap._

The coil broke and Katniss flew backwards. Johanna caught her, but Katniss didn't want help as she pushed herself up again. Johanna looked up and saw Brutus and Enobaria. What the hell were they doing here? She realized that they had been following them, probably for a long time now. But she was well aware that these two weren't in on the plan to get Katniss out, and therefore would try and kill her. They were playing to win for a second time. Which meant that Johanna was going to have to distract them, try and lead them away from her. Which meant that she was going to have to get the tracker out now, before the Careers closed in on them. Because if they got separated, Johanna knew there was a good chance she could get killed, then she would have failed her job. She couldn't risk Katniss's life like that.

And with that, she raised the handle of her axe and hit it into the back of Katniss's head. She collapsed forward, and Johanna was quickly on top of her, cutting out the tracker with a small knife. Katniss was screaming, clearly in too much pain to fight back. This was disgusting for Johanna, fishing around in Katniss's arm trying to find the tracker. But she found it, pulled it out, and stepped on it. It shattered, and the light died. She took some of the blood and rubbed it on Katniss's face and neck, just in case someone was planning on checking her.

"Stay down." She whispered harshly, looking into the girl's eyes. She had this sinking feeling in her gut that it might be the last time she would see Katniss, but she might not even care that Johanna was going to die for her. She might be grateful, but after the way Johanna left things, she would get over it. So it was hurting Johanna more, in a way she couldn't begin to describe. But maybe it was a good thing that Katniss would be okay without her, she didn't need to be hurt anymore than she had been. Johanna wouldn't wish that on her.

She wished so much that she could lean down and kiss her right now. There was so much pain and fear in her eyes, but everything was happening so fast, she didn't have the time. She couldn't get distracted like she had when the Cornucopia started spinning. So immediately she stood up and chucked her axe at the Careers. It was a lousy throw and they dodged it easily. She grunted to herself and took off running away from Katniss.

_Please follow me. Please._ There weren't any sounds behind her, so Johanna stopped and turned around, almost immediately being tackled down by Enobaria. She was relieved to see her, with Brutus jogging behind slowly. Obviously he was going to let her have this kill, because this was some kind of game to them. She was glad to see that her plan worked, and Katniss was safe, but she knew what was coming. Still, she sure as hell wasn't going to give up without a fight. She wasn't going to give Snow that kind of satisfaction to watch her die like that.

She tossed Enobaria off of her. She didn't think it was a hard throw, but it was hard enough to slam her into a tree and knock her unconscious. Johanna was a little surprised by this, and for a moment she thought she had a fighting chance. Until Brutus jumped on her, slamming her to the ground. She hit her head, hard enough to make her a little woozy, but she pulled the small knife from her belt and swung blindly at him. He grunted a little when it hit his arm, and loosened his grip enough for her to get out. She stood up and swung down at him, but he caught her arm and pointed the knife at her chest. She fought back but he was much stronger than she was, and she was literally about to stab herself.

But then the unexpected happened. Brutus fell dead right in front of her. She saw a knife lodged in his back and looked up to see Peeta standing just a few feet away.

_Boom._

"Nice throw, lover boy." She said.

He must have known her well enough to know that was her way of thanking him, because he nodded and moved on to the next topic, "Where's Katniss?"

"She's safe." Johanna said and started to walk forward. But then the world seemed to be ripped out from under her feet, and she collapsed on the ground.

The next thing she knew, Peeta was at her side, gingerly holding her up, "Are you okay?" He asked her. He was holding something to her head. It must have been bleeding. Enobaria was starting to stir near them too, but Johanna couldn't form any words to warn Peeta. She tried to point, as Enobaria started to stand up. Johanna stood up as well, with Peeta helping her.

He looked up, spotting Enobaria, she was shaking her head. Now was the time to strike, but Johanna was too woozy to move and Peeta seemed to be frozen in place. Enobaria, however, seemed to be recovering quickly. She hissed at them, baring all of her pointy teeth. She started to lunge at Peeta, but Johanna pushed him out of the way and took the blow herself.

It all happened quickly, but Johanna ended up on top of her, pinning her to the ground. She was about to slash open the woman's throat with her small knife, but then, the entire arena started to shake. She looked up to see the force field going down. Then, within seconds, something was breaking through the walls of the arena. Everything went dark, expect for a fire that was burning in the distance.

Johanna punched Enobaria several times until she was out again. "Come on Peeta, let's go!" She grabbed his hand and helped him off of his butt. She needed to take him towards the tree. "Look!" She yelled, over the noise of all the crashing.

"Is that Katniss?" He said, worried. In the distance they could see a hovercraft lifting her body into the air.

Johanna nodded, "She's fine. We need to get over there. It's the rebels, they're here for us!" She was getting excited, Snow's plan was foiled and theirs worked. There would be no Victor of the Quarter Quell.

Just then, a louder crash happened near them, a second hovercraft appeared above them. Johanna was confused. There couldn't be two. It reached down and plucked Enobaria's body. Johanna didn't know what to do, she didn't trust the second hovercraft, and she just wanted to be on board with Katniss, wherever she was. She looked over at the other hovercraft, and saw then lifting Finnick, who was awake and holding on to the claw.

The hovercraft appeared over them now, and the claw was reaching down towards them. "Run!" Johanna screamed and pulled him away. The claw seemed to be chasing them, and withing seconds it had Peeta in it's grasp. Johanna stopped and reached for Peeta's hand, but she missed. He couldn't get out. "NO!" She yelled as she watched it take him up. It was too late. Johanna cursed to herself and continued to run towards the tree where Beetee was getting lifted up. Because she was woozy still, she wasn't moving very fast but she got to the tree in time to watch the hovercraft fly away.

They had left her behind, and now there was nothing she could do, as the hovercraft above her sent it's claw down to pick her up.


	21. Chapter 21

_"They left you behind. They never cared for you."_

"That's not true."

_"They used you, then they let us capture you."_

"They needed to get Katniss out safely, that's why they left! I'm not going to fall for your mind games."

_"Why did they want Katniss out so badly?"_

"Why do you think, dumbass?"

Then, a huge fist slammed right into Johanna's jawline, knocking her out of the chair. She would have cushioned the fall with her arms, but she couldn't because they were tied to a the chair. Her head slammed against the ground. She groaned to herself.

The man interrogating her was a broad, strong looking man dressed in all black. Even his face was covered, so Johanna would never know what he looked like. What she didn't understand was why they hadn't killed them yet. She knew they were going to torture them for information. But Peeta and Enobaria knew absolutely nothing, and Johanna was strong enough to endure. She wouldn't talk. No matter what kind of pain they put her through.

The man pulled out a small silver case and opened it, putting a syringe together. Johanna struggled to get free from her chair but it didn't work. He walked over in his heavy boots, and shoved the needle into her arm.

"You're going to have the craziest sleep you've ever had," the man said with a chuckle as he injected something into her arm, "We'll have a chat in the morning. Sleep tight."

She tried to fight the feeling off, but it was difficult. She felt herself slipping into sleep...

* * *

_"Corin?" Johanna looked straight ahead at the face of the beautiful girl she hadn't seen in ages. _

_She was smiling at Johanna, looking very much alive, "Hello, love. It's been a long time."_

_Johanna stood frozen in place, as the angelic looking girl. Her memories didn't serve her well enough. Corin's face had started to fade from Johanna's memory, but here it was again, clear as day. "Am I dead?" She asked, looking around. They were outside on a grassy field, the sun shining down on them. _

_Corin walked over to_ _Johanna, placing her hands on either side of Johanna's face. The touch felt so real. What was happening right now? _

_"No. You're not dead, love... I've missed you so much." Corin muttered, "And I want to just talk to you, but I can't right now."_

_"Why not?" Johanna asked, still a little dazed. _

_"I'm in a bit of trouble. I need your help."_

_Corin grabbed Johanna's hand and pulled her to her feet. "What can I do, I'll do anything," She said, not letting go of Corin's hand. How was this happening, how did it feel so real right now?_

_"I need you to - ugh." She grunted, cutting herself off. But Johanna looked down and realized that it was something else that had cut her off. _

_An arrow lodged into her gut. _

_"Corin?" She said, panicking. _

_Corin collapsed to the floor, her body convulsing. "You're weak, Johanna."_

_"What?_

_"You're weak," she muttered, "You act so tough all the time but in reality you can't save anybody. You're weak."_

_"I tried." She muttered, tears filling her eyes, "I tried I'm sorry!" _

Boom.

_The sound of the cannon brought her to another place. She wiped the tears from her eyes and looked around. It was her childhood home in District Seven. _

_"Look at my little girl."_

_Johanna whipped her head around. "Mom?" She got up and ran to the couch where her mother was sitting. She didn't move from it, but that didn't stop Johanna from running right into her embrace. "I've missed you so much Mom."_

_"You shouldn't have moved so far away then!" She scolded, but softened up, "Look how beautiful you are. You've grown into such a gorgeous woman." Her hand was caressing Johanna's face, wiping a few stray tears. _

_"Hey! Look who came to visit us! Boys, come here!" Her father bellowed as he walked into the room. Johanna was up again and into his arms within seconds. Her two little brothers were soon in the room, running right into her, hugging her tight. _

_"Hey little squirts." She laughed, and kneeled down so she could hug them tighter. She didn't realize until she stood up that she was laughing and crying of joy at the same time. "I know I don't tell you two much, but I love you. I love you guys so much."_

_As she spoke she looked out the window. A fully dressed peacekeeper was walking outside, dumping gasoline at the edges of some houses. Johanna was up and alert immediately. _

_"Guys, come on. We need to get out of here."_

_Her mother shook her head, "We're not getting out of here. Dinner is almost ready."_

_"No! You don't understand, if you don't leave now you're going to die. Please!" She pleaded with them. _

_"You can't help us right now Johanna." Her father interjected, "What's done is done."_

_Her mother got out of the chair and walked to the dinner table, the rest of the family gathered around it as well as her father went to go grab the dinner. It was a beautiful looking turkey. The boys clapped their hands in excitement. _

_"If you guys won't leave, then I'm going to stay with you." Johanna said, walking over to the table as well. But she hit an invisible force field. Kind of like the one Katniss and Finnick ran right into in the Games, but she could hear everything on the other side. She started banging on it. _

_"You can't stay with us, sweetheart." Her mother said from the table, "You have someone left that you need to fight for. You know who it is."_

_"What?" She was confused, but that didn't stop her from banging on the glass. She wanted so desperately to turn away, but she couldn't. She watched as her family all held hands and bowed their heads down. She didn't want to see this, but it happened. The explosion. The fire running right through their bodies. The screams. She could hear it all. _

_But she couldn't save them. Any of them. There was absolutely nothing she could do for the people she loved because they were already gone. It was a gut wrenching feeling, being so helpless. _

_And for the second time she had to watch all of them die. _

* * *

"Sleep well last night, Johanna?" The man in black asked her. She was in some sort of jail cell now. There was no bed, just the cold hard ground and some metal bars in front of her. She sat emotionless, thinking partially about how she might be able to hit her head against the bars with enough force to kill herself, but then she remembered what her mother said. How she had something to fight for.

_No,_ she thought, _ I have something... someone to live for._

Finally, since it had been a long time. Johanna wasn't going to fight that anymore, though she had to be careful. After all, Peeta was right next to her. She'd heard someone talking to him earlier. Not only that, but Annie had been brought in earlier that day, and dropped off directly across from her. That had pissed Johanna off, they were trying to torture Finnick. But they wouldn't hurt Annie, not if Johanna could do anything about it. Problem was, there was nothing she really could do.

"Well, I actually have a visitor for you." The man said when Johanna failed to answer.

The smell hit her first, and she scrunched her nose as Snow stepped into sight. In the corner of her eye she saw Annie slink back into the furthest corner of her cell when she saw him.

"Hello Miss Mason," he said, nodding politely at her, "Good to see you again."

"Fuck off Snow." She muttered.

He laughed at this. Probably thinking she was insane, since she had absolutely no power. "I need to ask you a few questions, and I'd like for us to be honest with each other."

"I'm not telling you anything," She scoffed.

"You don't even want to hear the questions?"

She shook her head, "Save your breath."

He nodded, "Very well then." With a signal from Snow, the other man grabbed a hose from a wall nearby and turned it on, spraying it directly on Johanna. It was powerful, keeping her pushed up against the back wall, soaking the entire cell in the process. When he turned the hose off, Johanna found herself on all fours, coughing up water into a large puddle that filled her entire cell. "Your friends gave me an idea in the arena. If you don't want to answer a few questions, maybe this will change your mind."

The other man was now pushing some sort of machine towards her cell. She watched as he lowered a couple of wires from the machine into the puddle of water in her cell. Realization struck, and her expression turned to horror. They were going to do what Beetee said he'd do to the tributes in the arena. They were going to electrocute her. Johanna was a little ticked off that Snow would finally kill her, now that after all this time she found a reason to live. Two years ago, she wouldn't have minded. Even two weeks ago, things would be different. But now?

"Let's see if Beetee's little plan would have worked." Snow said as the man turned the machine on. There was a click, then -

An unbearable shock of pain jolted throughout her entire body. She was probably screaming, but she couldn't hear anything, as the pain took over every sense. Everything.


	22. Chapter 22

"Hey, Johanna, you there?" Peeta called from the cell next to him.

Johanna had been awake for what felt like hours now, though there was no way of telling time in the dark jail cell she was being kept in. In fact, she didn't know how she was still alive. After all, they hadn't let up on the torture at all. It was every day, maybe multiple times a day. She couldn't tell, nor did she know how long it had been since she had been captured.

The days all went the same. They'd ask her questions which she would ignore. When she ignored them, they'd beat her. She was bloodied and bruised all over but it wasn't going to make her talk. Then they would resort to something more extreme. They'd soak her and her entire cell with water and shock her until she felt like she was finally on the verge of dying, praying for them to just take her life. Then it would all stop. After she recovered just enough, they'd inject her with sleep serum that made her dreams incredibly real and vivid. She would then dream of her lost loved ones, every night. She'd watched them die too many times now, and every time it still hurt. She still couldn't save them because it was already in the past, but that didn't stop it from hurting her.

They would beat her, starve her, force her to fight someone for their entertainment, but they never forgot to shock her, and they never forgot the sleep serum. Her body had deteriorated quickly. She really shouldn't have still been alive.

Peeta would talk to her, and Annie as well, though Annie just sat and listened, and never contributed much. Johanna was grateful for Peeta, and she hated having to hear his screams when they were doing God knows what to him. But she was grateful that he still took the time to talk to her, and he made her feel more like a human and less like a caged animal. But lately, they had been amping up the torture, and neither of them really felt like talking. Well, that wasn't true. Johanna didn't often have the energy to talk, and the same probably went for Peeta on most occasions. Annie just simply didn't talk. They beat on her once, which was good, so her damage was minimal. It just meant that they were doing this to mess with Finnick's mind. Make him feel guilty for her being here.

Johanna didn't have much energy to talk right now, sitting in the corner of her cell. She had been watching some water drip from a leak in the ceiling. It created a puddle in the cell. Johanna stayed as far away from it as possible, because she was positive that they had put the leak in there on purpose and if she touched it she would get shocked. But Peeta wanted to talk, and this was the least she could do for him.

She scooted herself closer to his cell, though that action was incredibly laboring due to how weak they had made her body. "What's up, Peeta?"

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

Johanna let out a small laugh, "Fantastic," she muttered sarcastically, "You?"

"I don't know." He said. She couldn't see him, but it sounded like he wasn't in the mood for her sarcasm. "I'm just wondering..."

"About?" Johanna noticed Annie scooting closer to them as they spoke. She still hadn't said much to either of them, which wasn't much different from the couple of times Johanna had seen Annie before this, when she was visiting Finnick back in District Four. This was just her personality now. The Games had a negative effect on everybody, but they had hit her especially hard.

"Why are we suffering?"

It was a good question, one that Johanna wasn't sure she had the proper answer to, but she took a crack at it anyway, "Because Snow is sadistic and has raised the people of the Capitol to be the same way. So they're torturing us."

Peeta sighed, "Well from what I heard, it sounds to me like they're torturing us because of Katniss."

Peeta said her name every single time they had talked, but never this cold. He always spoke about her with some form of loving tone in his voice that always made Johanna a little sick to her stomach. But not this time. This time he nearly hissed her name, as if it were poison and he needed to spit it out. "What do you mean?"

"They want Katniss, and we have to suffer because of that. Yet she's never done anything for us, so why are we paying for it?"

"Peeta what have they done to you?" Johanna said under her breath. Sure, a part of her wanted Katniss all to herself if they were ever to get back to her. But she didn't want Peeta to be like this. She wasn't _that_ selfish.

_THUD._

It sounded like someone collapsed. Then there was the sound of gunfire. Annie started shrieking and she cowered back. Johanna peered down the hallway as much as she could, and saw several of the guards collapse on the floor. There was this weird green smoke coming towards their cells.

"What is going -" Peeta started, but clearly collapsed. Johanna watched as Annie inhaled the green smoke, and collapsed. She tried to cover her mouth and nose when she realized what was going on but it was too late. They had gotten to her. Was it finally time to kill her?

Then, everything went black.

* * *

Johanna didn't remember getting rescued. She didn't know how she ended up in District Thirteen.

But all of the sudden she had woken up, and there she was in a hospital room with doctors treating her. Even Prim had come in on a couple of occassions to change bandages and help her get up and walk around. She'd been back for three days and still had no visitors, other than the doctors and nurses. She tried to pay no mind to it. Finnick was probably too caught up with being with Annie again, and Katniss was probably with Peeta, and doing her Mockingjay stuff. When Johanna was getting some treatments from Prim, she'd ask about Katniss and the rebellion and the young girl would give her all sorts of details. It was nice, Johanna liked hearing that she hadn't been suffering for nothing.

She was hobbling around her room, all alone, trying to regain some of her strength, but it was hard. Especially since the morphling was starting to wear off and she couldn't get more without people thinking she was addicted. She did manage to make it back to her bed and sit down on the edge.

The knock on the door startled her, but she didn't have a chance to say anything as the door slowly opened. She was shocked to see Katniss standing there in the doorway, hesitant to come in. Johanna didn't say anything, and the two looked at each other in silence for a few moments more.

Finally, Katniss spoke, "You're not going to try and kill me too, are you?"

Johanna was a little confused, but just shook her head, "Who tried to -"

"Peeta." She said, closing the door behind her. Johanna could tell that it was hurting her, but she didn't know what to say. She let Katniss continue, "I'm not supposed to be visiting you right now."

"So why are you here?" She asked. In a swift and sudden motion, Katniss was leaning over her, holding her head up, and pressing her lips against Johanna's. The quick movement was a little painful, since her morphling had started to wear off for the day, and the kiss came as a shock. It also ended too quickly, so Johanna really couldn't react. She would endure any sort of pain for that little moment again, though.

"I tried not to think about you much," Katniss said softly, still holding Johanna's face in her hands, gently stroking her cheek. "If I did, I might have started to worry about you. And I might not have been able to stop thinking or worrying about you..." Her voice trailed off. It was as if she was trying to say something but couldn't form the words.

"That's why you're here?" Johanna asked, reaching up and holding one of of Katniss's hands, lacing her fingers through.

Katniss sighed, unable to meet Johanna's gaze, "I came to say goodbye. Just in case."

"Just in case of what? Where are you going?" The sudden panic was evident in her voice. She was too weak right now to even try and cover it all up with her harsh saracasm. That's what she tended to do when she was scared, but she was too vulnerable right now.

"I'm going to District Two."

"Are you nuts?" Johanna had started to raise her voice and only noticed because Katniss instinctively put her hand over Johanna's mouth to quiet her down.

"I have to. It's important." Katniss whispered, "You just focus on getting better when I'm gone and we'll talk when I get back."

"This is so stupid." Johanna muttered, but no matter what she thought, there was nothing she could do about it. Katniss shrugged in response, and slowly pulled herself away from Johanna. Right before she let Katniss's fingers slip away completely, she grabbed at them, using all of her strength to pull herself up and back into Katniss. She almost fell, but the other girl was steady, and held her still. Johanna didn't hesitate at all to pull Katniss in closer and kiss her with every last ounce of energy she had left. It was weak, no doubt, and she could tell that Katniss was being gentile with her as if she were fragile. But at least Katniss wasn't trying to stop her, in fact, she was kissing her back until she pushed Johanna away and helped her sit back on the bed.

"I have to go before someone catches me in here," she said, still looking at Johanna like she was a wounded puppy. She hated being like this. Being so weak, and not being the one in control. It was a far cry from the first time they kissed the night before the Quarter Quell. Katniss had started to walk away, but she stopped again before opening the door and turned back slightly towards Johanna. "I'm glad you're okay," she muttered, "I don't know what I would have done if I found out they'd killed you. So I'm glad you're alive."

Again, before Johanna had time to answer, Katniss disappeared on her. Maybe it was a good thing, she would probably have said something stupid or demeaning to Katniss in response.

As she lay back down in bed, she couldn't help but realize that she was glad she was alive too. For the first time since she heard her name called for the 71st Hunger Games, she was actually glad she was alive.


	23. Chapter 23

"Sorry, but they're not going to let you go in to see Peeta."

Johanna frowned at Finnick, but she wasn't looking very intimidating in her hospital gown. She was out of her bed, and had started to walk around the hallways, though she was only allowed to when she was being monitored by someone. Today, it was Finnick who let her clutch on to his arm in case she lost her balance.

"I'm getting better. I mean, I'm recovering at a pretty decent rate after what they did to me." She said, trying to convince him.

Finnick sighed, "They're not my orders. And it has nothing to do with your strength. Peeta can't see anybody that is going to be reminded of Katniss, or else he'll go into a fit of rage."

"But I spent my time right next to him. I watched him change, so maybe -"

"The answer is still no, Johanna." Finnick said, bringing her back to her room and helping her sit on the bed. "I'm not allowed to see him either. They won't even let Annie in, not that I'd let them."

"How's she doing?"

Finnick shrugged, taking a seat across from her, "She's getting better. Happy to be here, and be safe. I'm happy to have her back, and it's kind of hard for me to get away from her anymore. I always feel like if I say goodbye, it'll be the last time we see each other."

"Then go be with her Fin." Johanna sighed, "She needs you more than I do."

"But you're my family too Jo!" She frowned when he said this, nudging her softly in the shoulder, "You're my little sister, and I haven't gotten to spend much time with you lately. So, I don't care if you don't feel like you need me right now."

He was grinning at her, which made her smile. She'd never really thought of him as family before. But she had always felt like he was more than a friend to her. Someone who would always know everything about her, even if she didn't tell him. And the same went for him, as she often figured out all of his little secrets too. But he wasn't someone she would ever fall in love with. So calling him her "brother" seemed to be the only appropriate term left. It was weird, considering how she felt as if her entire family had died, but she had Fin right here with her the entire time.

"How do you do it?" She asked, still unable to stop smiling.

"Do what?"

Johanna rolled her eyes as if the answer were obvious, "You always know what to say to me! You always know how to cheer me up."

Finnick smiled, "I can read you like a book, Jo." He chuckled, "That, and I never let you scare me like everybody else."

"You bastard," she laughed, "Now I'm defenseless against you."

"Not entirely! I can't seem to be able to charm you at all. That's always been my strongest weapon." He winked at her, but it only caused Johanna to laugh harder, which in turn caused her to fall over in a coughing fit as she clutched at her sides from the pain.

Finnick's strong arms were almost immediately around her, lifting her on to the bed. He looked worried, but she smiled up at him, "I'm okay."

"Guess I have to be a jerk to you. If I make you laugh I might kill you." He said, looking dead serious.

Johanna almost laughed at that, "I think that's impossible Finnick." She muttered, regaining her breath and sitting up again. "Laughter is supposed to cure, and I haven't laughed in a while so... thanks."

Finnick beamed at this, proud of himself, but his beam turned into a smirk. "Since you seem to be doing okay," he started, leaning closer to her, "I need to ask you a question."

Johanna raised an eyebrow, "If it's about the Capitol torturing us, I'm not talking."

Finnick shook his head, "Something a little different," he leaned in a little closer, still smirking, and lowered his voice to a whisper, "Why Katniss?"

Johanna leaned away from him, giving him a weird look as if she didn't know what he was talking about, "Um. What?"

Finnick leaned back, amused by her discomfort, "Out of all of the people in Panem, why Katniss?"

"Well why not?" Johanna said, huffing. Why would he even bring this up? The way he was talking, anybody could walk in and not know what they really meant. It was another one of those hidden conversations, until Johanna started giving him answers that he wanted, then it would be obvious. She couldn't do that, especially with the risk of Prim walking in on them.

But Finnick was persistent this time, no longer hiding the conversation. He spoke plainly, "Yeah she's a beautiful girl and all but she kind of loves someone else."

"Well, she loves her family too but that doesn't mean anything. Just like how if I loved you, it wouldn't mean anything." She felt her cheeks getting hot, as she crossed her arms. She wanted him to stop asking questions.

Finnick laughed, "You don't love me?" She only glared at him in response, "Ah, now the old Johanna is back!"

"I think Annie might be getting worried about you now," Johanna said, still glaring at him.

But Finnick didn't move, "I just want to know what you see in her, and maybe if I start to understand, then I won't oppose all of it so much," he shrugged.

"Well what do you see in Annie?"

This seemed to strike a chord with Finnick, as his face twisted in thought.

"It doesn't make sense to me at all Fin, so I can't really answer your questions." She continued, "Why would you be opposed anyway?"

Finnick grabbed her hand and gave her a soft smile, "Because, like I said, you're my little sister Jo, I don't want to see you getting hurt at all."

"I think I've already been hurt plenty," Johanna laughed, but it was more of a sarcastic laugh.

"I know." Finnick nodded, "But every time something happens to you, the more I'm afraid of losing you."

Johanna frowned, "What do you mean?"

"I feel like you're so close to the edge, and it scares me. I don't want to see you die," Finnick looked sad as he spoke, which hit Johanna a little harder than it probably should have. She never knew that Finnick cared about her so much. Nobody had in a long time. "If something or someone hurts you, I don't want to see you go over the edge." Johanna found herself pulling him close into a hug as he spoke, "I admire you, and the way you continue to fight. Maybe if you weren't so harsh, you could inspire others too."

Johanna smiled as Finnick pulled away, "Too bad that's just my personality."

"I don't think so..." Finnick mused.

Johanna was about to respond with something witty and brash when Plutarch bolted through the door, his face flushed red probably from trying to get down to them.

"Have you seen Prim?" He asked, nearly out of breath.

"No," Finnick answered, as he and Johanna looked up at Plutarch in shock, "Why?"

"Because Katniss has been shot." He said, and grunted, "Tell her to find me if you see her." He closed the door behind him.

Johanna sat frozen on the bed, wide-eyed and staring at the wall. Finnick had gasped, and was now looking directly at her, but she wasn't returning his gaze. She couldn't move, no matter how badly she wanted to. The only thing that was moving was her chest, which was moving rapidly as she breathed heavily. She heard Finnick say something, but couldn't make out the words as her brain was a jumbled mess. All she knew was the same four words that were resonating in her head:

Katniss has been shot.


	24. Chapter 24

Everything had started to happen so fast.

From what Johanna understood, Katniss had been rushed back to District 13 and went straight into surgery. She was getting updates from Finnick and Haymitch, who were both just as restless about this as she was. Her snarky attitude had quickly come back, and she had started snapping at all of the nurses who were trying to help her. She only got this way because she was scared. Scared for Katniss.

The only one she hadn't been snarky to was Finnick. He was with her when she got the news, and it was a good thing too, because he was able to hold her down until she was calm again, because she started to throw a fit. He was right about her going over the edge... Katniss could do that to her. Luckily, everything was turning out alright.

But a day later, the doctors knocked on her door and asked if she was alright with letting Katniss stay with her while she recovered. She knew they were short on rooms, but she never really figured out why they asked her out of all of the people. Maybe a familiar face would be nice or something.

She was relieved when they rolled Katniss in, though she was unconscious. But she was breathing, and the blankets were covering her body so she looked unharmed. It was also a relief when they explained that the bullet didn't even touch her, it only ruptured her spleen and they managed to save her life, she would recover quickly.

"Keep an eye on her. If anything goes wrong you call us immediately." The doctors told her. All Johanna could do was nod, she never had time to form words since things were moving so quickly.

So she sat on her bed as Katniss slept beside her, but the doctors had pulled the curtains between them, so she was cut off. Johanna could easily get up and move them, but she didn't. She let Katniss sleep.

But it didn't take long before she heard groaning from behind the other side of the curtain. Johanna was up, and whipped them back, finding herself staring right into Katniss's eyes. She could see the pain in her eyes, and the slight shock.

"I'm alive." Katniss muttered.

Johanna scoffed, "No kidding, brainless." There she went again, being sarcastic, rash, and harsh because she was hurting on the inside and she was scared. Katniss didn't deserve that, but it was almost as if Johanna were hard wired to act like that. And "sorry" wasn't a word she used often, so she'd have to soften things up a little bit after that. But their conversation was short lived, as Gale interrupted soon after.

Over the course of two days, Katniss got many more visitors than Johanna ever did, including a film crew. She would sit and watch as Katniss would send messages to the rebels and the Capitol. She kind of admired her, when she watched her do this. There was rarely a moment they got to spend alone, and it was starting to annoy Johanna. But on the second night, rather than sleep, she sat down in a chair and rolled it over to the edge of Katniss's bed, where the girl was still awake. "When I knew you were going to leave, I expected you to come back all in one piece," she spoke softly because someone could still walk in at any second.

"I feel so... broken." Katniss muttered, still probably feeling lightheaded and dizzy.

"Well, you're not." Johanna shrugged. She looked down at her hand, surprised to see it stroking the back of Katniss's hand. She hadn't even realized she was doing that. Well, that was dangerous. She might start doing those kinds of things in public, then what would people think? Not that she should care. But this was they Mockingjay they were talking about here...

But right now, nobody was here so she didn't care. She lifted Katniss's hand up and gently pressed her lips to it, "You're going to be just fine." Katniss rolled her eyes. "What?" Johanna scoffed.

"Sometimes I feel like you're bipolar or something." She said, though her words were labored. Even with the morphling she was in a lot of pain. "One day you're calling me brainless, the next you're kissing my hand. It's always like this."

"I could say the same thing about you," Johanna muttered in response. But she knew it was true, she was well aware of it, "I can just leave you alone if you'd like."

"No." Katniss shook her head, responding immediately. She almost didn't give Johanna time to finish her sentence, "I don't want you to leave me alone, or stop. I'm just trying to figure you out."

"Well you're a tough nut to crack too," she shrugged, but rested her head on Katniss's legs, stroking them gently with her free hand. She felt Katniss's hand stroking her head and running her fingers through her hair. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. It felt so natural to be here with her like this. "Can you just... not get shot anymore. Please." She muttered.

"I'll try." Katniss said, sarcastically. It made her smile a little bit. "Would be a shame for the rebellion and all if I died."

Johanna turned her head so she was still resting her head on Katniss's legs, but she was now facing the other girl. "Even if you weren't the Mockingjay, I wouldn't want you to get shot." There's dead silence after she spoke, so Johanna quickly changed the subject, "Since your doctors are going to make you go on a little walk outside, mind if I join you tomorrow?"

"That's fine." She was being cold, all of the sudden, so Johanna decided to scoot back over to her own bed for the night.

* * *

The days turned out to be long, drawn out, and boring, as people visited to make sure the Mockingjay was doing alright. And during that time, Katniss all but ignored Johanna. Not to mention, she was getting a little jealous of all this attention Katniss was getting.

But the nights were her favorite. Nobody bothered them, and Johanna could sneak in a few minutes of conversation here or there with Katniss. Sometimes she could sneak in a small, sweet kiss, but that was all she was going to get, especially while they were in the hospital. She didn't like to sleep anymore, especially after what they had done to her in the Capitol. So she only slept a few hours a night, the rest of the time watching over Katniss, who was always exhausted from all of the things she needed to do.

But this particular night was different, because Johanna had fallen asleep. Her dreams were average, not depressing or scary, but not happy either. She was woken up but a shrill scream. Recognizing Katniss's voice, she shot up out of bed and was at her side immediately.

She disregarded the pain jolting through her body from her swift movements, because those didn't matter to her right now. What mattered was the the shaking girl with tears streaming down her face. Johanna lifted her hand up and used her thumb to wipe Katniss's tears. She was surprised that nobody else had run in to see why their Mockingjay was screaming.

"It's okay, it's okay." Johanna said soothingly, using her free hand to stroke Katniss's hair. "It was just a dream." Katniss was shaking now so Johanna climbed into the bed with her, and sat down next to her, pulling her close and wrapping her arms around the girl, "You're okay."

"Everybody died," Katniss mumbled, hiding her head in Johanna's shoulder, "Prim. My mom. Peeta. Finnick. Gale. You died right before I woke up."

"I'm right here Katniss," Johanna said softly, "Prim is fine, your mother, Peeta... everybody is fine. Would you like to see them?"

Katniss sighed, "I trust you."

"We're all still here." Johanna said, holding her tightly. "It's okay."

Katniss let out a little sniffle, wrapping her own arms around Johanna now. She was starting to wonder if maybe they were giving Katniss too much morphling and it was making her act weird. "Don't leave me, okay?" She said.

Johanna kissed the top of Katniss's head, "I'm not going anywhere." She knew what it was like to have these nightmares, but she couldn't wake up and be comforted by someone she saw die. No, she could only wake up and realize that she was still living in those nightmares. But at least she could help spare Katniss the same pain. "I'm right here."


	25. Chapter 25

Katniss had slept soundly through the rest of the night, cuddled up against Johanna, who could only stay awake a little bit longer. It got to the point where she couldn't fight off sleep anymore. But it was a sound night. The first one she'd had since before the Quarter Quell. Well, in years, actually. She wasn't visited by any of her loved ones, and though it left an empty feeling in her heart when she woke, that feeling didn't last long.

It was probably due to the fact that she woke up face to face with Finnick, Plutarch, and the Head Doctor. She was a little groggy, having just woken up, and was confused to find the three of them staring at her as she woke up. She forgot momentarily that she had fallen asleep in Katniss's bed until the girl woke up, and detached herself from Johanna's body. The two girls had a moment where they looked each other in confusion. Katniss backed away, as if she was scared.

"What's going on, ladies?" Finnick said. It was obvious he was trying to fight back a laugh.

Johanna was frowning, and pulled herself out of Katniss's bed and grumpily walked over to her own, ignoring Finnick's question.

Katniss piped up, "I was having nightmares, Johanna calmed me down and then I guess I fell asleep."

"Nightmares?" Plutarch raised an eyebrow.

"I get them sometimes too." Johanna said, still not making eye contact with anybody, "Of the Games, of my family, of the... torture." Everybody falls silent as she says this, "So yeah, I helped her out. Big deal."

It was unintentionally coming off as if Johanna didn't want people to know that she had been nice to Katniss, which was good. Because it would be fine with her if that's what people were thinking. Except for Finnick, she knew very well something else was going through his mind.

"Yeah, I get them too." Finnick muttered.

"Well, that's a shame. Maybe we can get some medicine to help with it," The Head Doctor said.

"That would be nice!" Johanna said in a snarky tone, but she was always that way with her doctor, "I really don't want to wake up to her screaming in the middle of the night. I had enough of that already..." She trailed off, and instead went to her drawer to get herself a fresh hospital gown. She changed in front of the entire room, but not that it mattered... most of them were already used to seeing her like this.

"So what are you guys doing in here?" Katniss changed the topic. Johanna was grateful for that. She'd have to thank her later, but right now the Doctor was checking her over.

"Well I thought I could accompany you on your walk today." Plutarch said as Katniss was getting into a warmer robe.

Finnick plopped himself down in a chair and rolled closer to Johanna, "I came to talk to my good friend, of course!" He said, giving her a wink. Johanna rolled her eyes, but she was smiling.

Within five minutes, Finnick and Johanna were left alone in the room. "I thought you didn't like being away from Annie." Johanna said, almost in a snarky tone. She was trying to avoid having him bring up what he saw this morning.

"I don't, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to come say hi once in a while. I think Annie wouldn't mind if you visited her too." Finnick said with a shrug.

"If you haven't noticed, I'm in a hospital. They don't let me leave here unattended." Johanna said shrewdly.

Finnick smiled at her, "I bet you're in no rush to get out."

"Why would you say that?" Johanna stared at him coldly, as if she were daring him to say it outloud.

Finnick took the dare head on, "Because you get to spend more time with her."

Johanna groaned, and threw her pillow at Finnick. He knocked it away, laughing at her discomfort. "I swear, I'm going to go find an axe somewhere in this building and lodge it right into your pretty little face!"

"Ahhh you wouldn't do that to me!" He said playfully. He tossed the pillow back at her, and she was too weak to dodge it, so it hit her in the face and she landed on her bed again.

"Try me." She muttered.

"But Annie might not want to marry me if I have an axe in my face..."

Johanna laughed softly, "How do you know Annie would want to marry you anyway?"

"Because I asked her."

Johanna's eyes widened as she sat up straight, looking over at Finnick. He was beaming, and none of it was superficial. It was all real joy. Finnick was going to get married. Johanna didn't know whether she wanted to laugh or cry with joy for the man who was probably her best friend. Her brother, as he'd said earlier.

"You're getting married?" She asked, her voice light with joy.

"I'm getting married!" He responded, almost in disbelief. Johanna threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck. He kissed her on the cheek, "I want you to be there."

"Are you kidding me?!" Johanna laughed, "I wouldn't miss it for anything!"

"Maybe Katniss could be your date!" He joked, and Johanna pushed him away.

"Don't make me think about finding that axe again!"

* * *

"Are you going to Finnick and Annie's wedding?" Katniss asked as she sat in her bed. Johanna was up and pacing the floor, after receiving her dose of morphling for the day. It was the one part of the day where her body wasn't completely in pain, so she wanted to make use of this.

"Of course. I'm sure you'll be there." Johanna said, trying not to look Katniss in the eye right now. Talking about a wedding with her was just weird, and Finnick's jokes were fresh on her mind.

Katniss nodded, "The camera crew will be there too. But even if it wasn't for a propo I would show up. I'm happy for them."

"Someone deserves to be happy." Johanna agreed.

After a short moment of silence, Katniss spoke up again, "I'm going to be gone for a couple of days." Johanna didn't like hearing that very much. She had already realized that being separated from Katniss was something pretty agonizing and it wasn't a feeling she liked. She still couldn't pinpoint the reason for this, or for any of her feelings at all when it came to the young woman. But hearing this didn't sit well with her. Katniss must have seen the distress on Johanna's face, because she quickly continued, "I want you to come with me though."

Johanna looked at her. She'd stopped pacing around now, and just stood still. "Where are you even going?"

"Home." Katniss said, a look of disdain in her eyes, "I'm going to twelve. Annie's coming. We're going to pick out a dress from my collection."

"I don't know," Johanna shrugged, "I doubt I'd even be authorized to go." She didn't know why she was saying this. She wanted to go. Maybe it was because she didn't want Katniss to know how much she really wanted to go.

She had her back turned to Katniss now, but it only took moments until the smaller girl had wrapped her arms around Johanna's waist from behind. She could feel the pressure of Katniss's body, and she found herself lacing her fingers through Katniss's, holding her hands tight.

"The doctor doesn't seem to like you much," Katniss muttered, "Maybe he's looking for an excuse to get a few days away from you."

Johanna smiled, despite the fact that it could be taken as an insult, "I'll ask for permission then."

"I didn't know you were one to ask someone for their permission." Katniss joked.

"I don't really feel like being sedated when I argue with them."

* * *

Johanna had thrown a fit when she wasn't authorized to go on the trip with Katniss, but had to cool herself down as she remembered that she had been caught in bed with Katniss not too long ago, and that was still fresh on some people's minds. Plutarch had assured her that he wouldn't tell people she was such a "softy" and Finnick had told them she was only a softy when it came to Katniss, and that sounded pretty suspicious. At least to anybody in the know. It was rather embarssing for Jo, though.

So, with all of that, she found it easy to cool herself down in front of others, so they didn't start to think something was up. Instead, she went back to her room and let off steam there.

The next two days were utterly agonizing for her, as she was constantly watching the door, waiting for someone to burst in and bring her news of how Katniss's ship went down, or some catastrophe like that. But there was none. In fact, the only person who visited her that brought her up was Finnick, who was anxious about having Annie be so far away from him. He spent most of his time in the room with Johanna. He even spent one night sleeping on her bed, while she slept on Katniss's bed. She wouldn't admit to anybody that she only did so because it still smelled a little bit like her. She didn't want that to come off as creepy. She was relieved to hear that Katniss and Annie had returned safely.

Not only that, but Katniss had been thoughtful enough to bring her back a gift.

"What's this?" Johanna asked, looking down at the covered box. It was pretty late into the night, and she knew that they weren't going to be bothered until the morning. That's probably why Katniss waited until now to give her the gift.

"Open it!" Katniss said, watching with anticipation.

Johanna started to open the box. She pulled out a deep blue strapless velvet dress. A smile immediately played on her lips. She clearly remembered telling Katniss how she wanted to rip this particular dress right off of her. Back then, she had only meant it as really liking this particular dress. But now, there were many types of clothing Johanna wanted to rip right off of the other girl, for various reasons... some she felt inappropriate to say.

Okay, Johanna knew she couldn't be thinking like that. Especially in the midst of the rebellion as they were, and with how important Katniss was to them and how she needed to be with Peeta... Johanna was just going to get herself hurt. But it was hard not to think like that, especially with the way Katniss looked at her sometimes, how she was looking at her now. Johanna still believed that her mind was playing tricks on her.

But she was actually very surprised that Katniss remembered this dress and that conversation at all. "Thank you," she finally said.

"I thought you could wear it to the wedding. It'll look great on you." Katniss was smiling up at her, in a way that just softened her up. She couldn't be snarky or rude right now. Even if she did want to make a joke. But her abraisive attitude was wiped right under the rug with that smile. But she knew she couldn't do what she wanted so badly to do right now. She pushed those feelings aside.

"Thank you, I will." Johanna smiled, and set the dress down on the chair, returning to her own bed.

Katniss frowned, "Wait. That's it? So you're just going to bed?"

"Well, what do you want me to do Katniss?" Johanna said, pulling the sheets over her legs.

"I thought maybe bringing that dress here for you would have earned me a kiss. At least."

Johanna laughed quietly to herself, "You want me to kiss you?"

Katniss was crossing her arms, looking slightly embarassed, "Why are you acting so surprised?" Johanna thought about that for a moment. Maybe she was surprised because they never actually spoke about it. They just, did it. Katniss was looking at the wall now as she spoke, "I... I like... ugh. I like kissing you, okay?" Katniss practically groaned.

"Then what are you still doing over there?" Johanna asked, a hint of playfulness in her voice. Katniss hobbled over in pain, a reminder to Johanna that they still needed to be somewhat gentle with each other because they were both still recovering. Johanna heeded that reminder at first, gently taking Katniss's head in between her hands and kissing her softly. But then the passion between them only grew, and Johanna forgot to be gentle as she forced the other girl down on her bed. There were pangs of pain throughout her body every so often that reminded her that she wasn't okay. But every second with Katniss was worth it.

This was more than just another kiss. They were good at just kissing, or holding hands, and sometimes even just holding each other though that last one was rare. But this was different, and Johanna could feel a fire burning through her entire body as her lips trailed down Katniss's jawline to her neck. She had to force herself to stop when she realized how much pain Katniss was in from her wounds. She was a little frustrated at first, but Katniss didn't leave her bed.

At first Johanna thought maybe it was because she was too weak to get up. But when Katniss snuggled up close to Johanna that night, she let herself believe, for the first time, that maybe it could actually mean a little bit more.


	26. Chapter 26

"Wow, you look great." Johanna said as Katniss moved the curtain that was between their beds. Her hair had been done up nicely earlier, and Johanna couldn't take her eyes off of the girl. She did look absolutely stunning.

"Really?" Katniss said, twirling around in her dress.

"Easy with the twirling! Don't want your dress to catch on fire or anything!" Johanna joked, and the two girls shared a laugh. It was nice to have a day to just relax and be happy. And she truly was happy, to get to see Finnick as happy as he was going to be. Even in the midst of a war like this, after all that had been done to them, they could find happiness. "You do look amazing, not that it's anything new." Johanna complimented her, and Katniss blushed at this, but Johanna only got a glimpse of that because the other girl turned her face away. "While I still look like complete crap. I need to finish getting ready."

Johanna grabbed a damp towel, she had requested several from one of the nurses and asked them to make sure they were damp, but no water would drip out on them. She hadn't taken a real shower since getting back from the Captiol. In fact, the nurses still had to force her to drink water. She didn't want anything to do with it, for fear of waking up her memories. She didn't want that, because things were starting to get better for her. She was using these damp towels to clean herself off so she wasn't disgusting.

She was running one of the towels through her hair as Katniss spoke, "I don't think you could ever look bad."

Johanna laughed, "Obviously you don't pay attention in the mornings."

"Maybe I'm too busy worrying about how much of a wreck I look." Katniss muttered.

"What? Because your hair sticks out a little bit?" Johanna said, placing the towel down and brushing her hair, "I think it's a cute look."

"What do you want me to go out in public looking like that?"

"No," Johanna said flatly, "I wouldn't go out in public with you looking like that either. I'd pretend I didn't know who you were." Katniss seemed offended at first, until Johanna couldn't fight off the smile anymore, and she realized it was a joke. She laughed a little bit as well.

Katniss pretended to look at a watch, "Geez, I'm going to get old sitting here waiting for you to get ready!"

"Hey! Unlike you, Miss Mockingjay, tonight is going to be my first night on camera. They already told me they want shots of all of us happy little Victors dancing around. So when I give Snow the middle finger, I want to look nice doing it!" Johanna defended herself. Katniss only responded with laughter, which caused Johanna's smile to grow. She liked having these little moments with Katniss. While kissing her was always nice, and she was always left wanting more... little moments like this were just the icing on the cake.

She quickly closed the curtains between them again. "What are you doing?" Katniss asked from the other side.

"I need to change really fast." Johanna answered.

"What? Are you afraid of stripping down naked in front of me or something?" Katniss responded with pure sarcasm.

Johanna laughed, "I want the dress to be a surprise." She finished brushing through her hair, and quickly put the dress on. After a few minutes passed, she opened up the curtains again, "Ta da!" She said smiling.

"You clean up nicely," Katniss said, almost smirking.

Johanna rolled her eyes, and held her hand out to Katniss, "Shall we?"

Katniss took Johanna's hand and stood up. But Johanna decided to take it one step further, and she pulled the other girl into her. Katniss started laughing, almost giddy like a child. She was still smiling when Johanna softly pressed her lips down on Katniss's. With that, Katniss threw her arms around Johanna's shoulders and Johanna's arms were around Katniss's waist, pulling her closer.

Time froze for a moment, and everything else seemed to disappear. That was, until their door flew open. It was like instict, Johanna and Katniss pushing themselves away from each other. Johanna was relieved to see it was only Finnick, and not somebody else. Katniss was panicking though, she didn't know that Finnick already knew a lot.

"Really Jo?" He said, he looked like he was freaking out, "You were supposed to be downstairs with me twenty minutes ago. Haymitch was going to come up and look for you but I told him I'd come. Couldn't sit still anyway. Why... what are you doing?"

A part of him seemed to be nervous due to the fact that he was getting married in less than an hour. The other part of him seemed surprised to come upstairs and find Johanna kissing Katniss like that.

She looked over at Katniss, who was breathing heavily against the wall, eyes wide and at a loss for words. "I'll be down in a minute Fin. Can I just have a minute, please?" She asked.

Finnick looked over at Katniss and nodded, "Please hurry." He closed the door behind himself. There weren't any footsteps, so Johanna assumed that he was waiting outside for her. She had almost forgot that she had a little part in the ceremony.

Johanna turned her attention to Katniss, who was still panicking. "Hey, hey, it's okay!" She said, stroking the girl's face, tucking some loose strands of hair behind her ears.

"But he saw, and now he's going to tell everyone! And Peeta is going to find out that I never loved him the way he wanted me to and then he's going to try and kill me! I don't want him to know that, I -"

"Hey!" Johanna cut her off, "Finnick's not going to tell anybody, okay?" Katniss was starting to calm down as Johanna rubbed her arm, "He's a good guy, he's our friend. He won't tell anybody unless we asked him too. Peeta isn't going to find out anything, and if he tries to kill you he's going to have to get through me first. Alright?"

There was something about the harshness in her tone that seemed to soothe the other girl. "Okay, I trust you." Katniss said, nodding her head.

"Good." Johanna smiled, give her a quick little peck on the cheek, "I'll see you in an hour then?" Katniss nodded.

Johanna stepped out the door, finding Finnick leaning against the wall. He smirked at her. "Don't even start," She muttered, walking past him.

He jogged to catch up to her, "Hey, I just got to ask. Please don't steal the thunder tonight, making out with Katniss and stuff."

Johanna nudged him in the stomach, "I won't, I promise. It's your big night!" She smiled up at him, trying not to laugh because she had never seen him so nervous before, "Everything is going to be great. You look amazing. Annie is going to look amazing. And you two are going to have an amazing life together."

"Thanks Jo," He said, putting his arm around her, "And maybe I could be in your wedding procession when you and Katniss get married."

"Oh shut up Fin!" Johanna shoved him away from her. It was with enough force to push him into the wall. But the two of them were laughing. Everything seemed to be a joke tonight, because they were all just going to let themselves have fun for the first time in a long time.

* * *

"Did you ever get the chance to flip off Snow?" Katniss asked, sitting in her bed. Both of the girls were back in their hospital gowns now.

Johanna sat herself down on the edge of Katniss's bed, "I did to the cameras several times. Once when I was dancing around with your sister."

"Johanna!" Katniss gasped, but her mood seemed light still.

"What?" Johanna laughed, "Prim's grown up now. I'm sure that's the take they're going to use too. Her face frozen in shock... great footage." Johanna was proud of herself, and couldn't help but laugh at Katniss's expression.

"I can't believe you sometimes," Katniss muttered, rolling her eyes. But it still didn't stop her from reaching out for Johanna's hand and pulling her down so she was lying with her, placing her head down on her chest.

Johanna mindlessly stroked the length of Katniss's abs with her fingers, "It was a beautiful wedding."

"I'm happy for them." Katniss said, her own fingers getting caught up in Johanna's hair.

"They can live happily in peace. Snow can't control him here." Johanna said, "At least, not with consequences."

"Is that what he did to you?" Katniss asked, "Tried to control you?"

Johanna sighed, "Something like that." She didn't want to talk about it, because she knew talking about it would result in her having nightmares about losing all of her loved ones again.

"At least you didn't let them change you." She said. She sounded like she was getting tired, drifting off to sleep.

"I think they did, though," Johanna muttered. "Maybe some day I'll explain to you exactly what happened. But right now, we need to get some sleep. We've got our first training in the morning, and there's no way in hell I'm missing it. I will _not_ miss out on the opportunity to hunt Snow down."

Katniss only yawned in response, tired from all the moving they had to do earlier that day. Johanna knew they were screwed, weak and out of shape. Not to mention their injuries. But they were Victors, they were going to bounce back quickly. They had to. Everything depended on it.

With those thoughts occupying her mind, Johanna slept rather soundly, with sweet dreams of being able to drive her axe through Snow's body.


	27. Chapter 27

Johanna lay down in her bed, grasping at the sheets, shaking and sweating.

No, she wasn't having nightmares, she was fully awake right now. And Katniss was in the shower, somewhere Johanna didn't dare step foot in. So she was alone, left to suffer in her misery.

The problem right now, was, Johanna had suggested that they move out of the hospital and after that Katniss had offered to move into a room with Johanna. That wasn't the problem, it was actually nice not having to be split up from Katniss yet. After all, she hadn't fallen asleep without Katniss right by her side since that first night. She didn't want that to change.

The problem with this, though, was that since they were no longer in the hospital Johanna was no longer receiving any morphling, and now she was suffering the withdrawal. Not only was she in a lot of physical pain from the workout she had Katniss had done in combat training today, but the withdrawal symptoms were only making it worse. Her body had become so accustomed to the drug that she wasn't sure she could function without it. In fact, she'd been lying in the same spot since dinner.

She could hear the shower turn off, and it was only minutes until Katniss was at her own bed, dressed, though her hair was still damp. It didn't take her long to notice Johanna's discomfort. "You know, a shower might help. I feel a little better already," Katniss said, clearly fishing for the right thing to say.

She knew she was walking on eggshells, especially with Johanna like this, and she was right. Johanna was in a very snappy mood, "Yeah because you didn't have as much morphling as me, brainless!"

Katniss crossed her arms, "Or maybe it's just all in your head right now... brainless!" She snapped back.

Johanna was a little taken aback, and on normal occasions she'd be amused by this, but Johanna wasn't in a playful mood. "You really want to tell me this is all in my head?" She was writing in pain in her bed.

Katniss noticed this, and her face softened, "I'm sorry Jo." She sat on Johanna's bed, but positioned herself so that Johanna could rest her head in Katniss's lap. Johanna didn't fight her on this at all, letting her take the reigns. She was too weak. Katniss took her towel and gently dabbed at the beads of sweat on Johanna's hairline. Her free hand was stroking Johanna's cheek.

There was something so soothing about Katniss's touch. It was better than the morphling, and for a moment, Johanna didn't feel half as bad as she had before. Until Katniss stopped, then the fire started up inside of her again. But it wasn't the good kind of fire. No, this was painful. Without thinking, Johanna's hand reached up and clutched at Katniss's hand, holding it to her chest.

"It's going to be okay," Katniss said soothingly, stroking her head, "It'll be over soon enough."

"I've been through worse," Johanna said, shuddering at the thought. She pushed it to the back of her mind. She was still somewhat unstable, and bringing back thoughts could send her in a downward spiral and land her right back in the hospital.

There was a knock on their door.

"Who is it?" Katniss asked.

"Finnick." Was the response from behind the door.

"What, now he knocks?" Johanna looked up at Katniss and rolled her eyes. It made Katniss laugh, which made Johanna smile. Even in her pain, seeing Katniss happy had a contagious effect on her.

"Come in." Katniss said, still laughing a little bit.

Finnick bounded in, closing the door behind him. He still had this glow, this happiness about him. Katniss didn't bother to move away from Johanna, probably because she knew that Finnick didn't care about what he saw, and that he cared too much about Johanna.

"What are you doing here Finnick?" Johanna asked, "Don't you have a wife to be with?"

"Yeah, this has to be the first time you've left her side since your wedding." Katniss added, joking around.

"Well she doesn't come to training with me, and I'm on my way up," Finnick said, taking none of what the girls said personally, "I just wanted to stop by and see if the rumors were really true."

"What rumors?" Katniss asked, she maintained composure, but there was definitely a hint of doubt in her voice.

Finnick smirked, "I heard you two are training to go to the Capitol."

Johanna could feel Katniss breathing a sigh of relief. "Yeah," Johanna said, "We are."

It was then that Finnick noticed just what kind of shape Johanna was in right now. Worry struck his expression and he knelt down. Before, he probably just thought that Johanna and Katniss were being cuddly and he had just interrupted. Now he understood.

He started to stroke her arm, "You alright, Jo?"

"I've been better," she chucked, "I've been worse too!"

Finnick looked up at Katniss, still worried. "Morphling withdrawal." She told him. He nodded.

"Unfortunately, I don't think there's a real remedy for that." Finnick muttered, standing up.

"I'll be fine. Don't worry about me!" Johanna said, though she struggled to speak which made it less convincing. She was worried that Finnick was going to run up to his room to get Annie, and then spend the night with them. Annie didn't need that, she just needed Finnick. Not Finnick, Katniss, and Johanna. Especially Johanna, since everytime she was around Annie, the poor girl started flipping out. Her presence alone triggered memories of the screams of torture that they endured.

"You know I worry anyway." Finnick said, still frowning.

"Go be with Annie, Finnick," Katniss said, "I'll take care of her, I promise."

Finnick nodded, feeling a little more reassured by this, "Fine." He muttered, "I'll tell Annie you two say hello. Good luck with your training, it's going to get harder. But hey, we're all Victors, right?" He seemed to make himself smile at this, and his glow was back.

"Good night Finnick!" Katniss said.

"Have fun with Annie!" Johanna answered, snickering to herself as Finnick closed the door behind himself. Katniss scoffed. "What?" Johanna asked innocently.

"Have fun with Annie?" Katniss said.

Johanna shrugged, "Nothing wrong with saying that." She would have smiled, but a new surge of pain rushed through her body, even more intense than before. Johanna wanted to stay strong for Katniss right now, but she couldn't stop the groan from escaping her lips.

"I wish I knew what to do." Katniss muttered, "Maybe Prim's in her room. She might know what to do."

Katniss was starting to move. "Wait, Katniss don't!" Johanna said, grasping onto her hand tighter. "Don't go."

"But-"

"Please." Johanna turned her head so she was looking directly into the other girls eyes. "I feel better when you're here." Johanna finally admitted.

She was still shaking, somewhat violently, as Katniss positioned herself into Johanna's bed. She held Johanna from behind, wrapping her arms tightly around Johanna, as if that would stop the shaking.

They layed like that for a long time, with Katniss whispering soothing words into Johanna's ear every now and then, usually when the pain started to peak. It was definitely ten times better with her there, but it was still incredibly painful.

The morning was no better. When they woke up, Johanna was still in an incredible amount of pain, but Katniss had to let go of her so that the two of them could get ready. If that wasn't bad enough, Johanna knew they were in for another painful day of training. But she wanted to start off the day right, and not push Katniss away, because she wasn't sure if she could even survive without the other girl there.

"Hey," Johanna said while they were putting on their training uniforms, "I just wanted to say thanks for helping me out last night."

Katniss smiled and quickly pecked Johanna on the cheek, "You would've done the same thing for me."

* * *

Their day in training had been complete bull.

Sure, they had improved a lot since their first day, but it had been raining outside. Johanna had hesitated to step out into the rain, and only did so because Katniss had gone out and was completely fine. Not only that, but she didn't want Katniss prying for questions later on. She didn't want to have to explain the torture she had gone through in the Capitol. Not yet.

When they had gotten home after dinner, Johanna was as clean as she had been in a bit, because of the rain. But the pain didn't subdue at all. She lay facing the wall and clutching her blankets. Finnick stopped by again earlier. He had every day after finding out that Johanna was in pain. He usually stayed for half an hour, enough time to remind Johanna that he cared, and then he went back to his wife.

Johanna didn't know where Katniss was, as she had some things she needed to do. Not like it mattered right now, because she couldn't think straight. She could barely even see because of the blurry vision. Oh wait... that was because of the tears that lined her eyes from the stinging pain. She refused to say she was crying though. She was groaning to herself, every now and then flailing her fists and hitting the walls. But she didn't move. She didn't run down the hallway to try and find someone who would give her some morphling. She was staying strong, as that was what she had always done.

Eventually Katniss had come back. She was mumbling something about having visited Peeta, and how he still didn't like her too much but he was better. Johanna wouldn't have cared much, even if she wasn't in so much pain. But at least she had this as an excuse to not respond to that.

It didn't take long for Katniss to find her way back into Johanna's bed, though Johanna was still facing the wall. She wasn't being talkative or responsive, but Katniss seemed to be okay with that.

Johanna could feel Katniss's hand stroking the length of her back, sometimes so gently that it sent a shiver up her spine. Then she could feel Katniss press her lips against Johanna's shoulder. Then her neck, then her cheek, her jaw... all the way until they found their way to Johanna's lips.


	28. Chapter 28

_Thwack._

The axe sliced right through the peacekeeper dummy. Johanna was about ten yards away, smiling her good old wicked smile.

"And, cut!" The camera crew called, "Beautiful Johanna. Thank you!"

Johanna shrugged and ran to retrieve her axe. Katniss was sitting nearby, watching them film Johanna with the axe. The rebels had been streaming a lot of Katniss and her bow, and Finnick with his trident, but this was the first of Johanna with her axe. Probably because she hadn't been in the best shape recently, but now she was getting close to being at her 100%. She wasn't there, probably at 75%. But her 75% far surpassed many of the soldiers 100%, especially when she had her axe. They finally had some good footage of her.

"Nice throwing." Katniss said.

"Thanks. I just imagined it was Snow."

"I do that too." The other girl chuckled. Johanna smiled and picked up her axe. Her transformation had been remarkable. She was physically fit again, and the withdrawals weren't killing her. In fact, she was pretty much over it. Now the only thing she was craving was the company of the Mockingjay. Unfortunately for her, she wasn't the only one. But Katniss had stayed by her side while she was recovering. They had grown closer than ever in the past several weeks leading up to the rebels invasion of the Capitol. They still playfully insulted each other, but they complimented the other's personality really well.

Finnick had warned her about being more careful in public, but Johanna had started to care less about that. She was _happy_ and that didn't happen for Johanna. But she felt like there was this false sense of security and happiness behind the walls of District Thirteen. She kept pushing those thoughts to the back of her mind, because she was happy here with Katniss, Finnick, and Annie.

But it was only a matter of time before they were thrust back out to face the war that was going on.

* * *

"Soldier Mason, your turn."

Johanna stood up as she heard her name called. It was time for her to take her test. The test that would determine if she would be assigned to a squadron or not. She needed to pass, there was no doubt about it. She looked up at Katniss one last time, who gave her a reassuring nod, and then she was sent in to do her test.

She was doing pretty well, as the adrenaline rushed through her body. She was fit, and because of that she was strong again. She was swift enough to doge the makeshift bullets that were fired at her by the fake peacekeepers, swift enough to get close enough to them to chop them down like they were just a tree in the orchard where she used to work. She took them out with such ferocity, and it felt good to be like that again. There was no doubt that she was strong. They'd have to be stupid not to let her go out and fight after seeing this.

She knew she was getting towards the end of her test, but all of the sudden, her commander yelled something about a dam being cracked nearby. She saw the flood of water rushing towards her. There was nowhere close enough for her to climb. It nailed her, nearly drowning her. Had she only been touched by the water, she might've been fine. But instead, it nearly knocked her out.

She was underwater for a moment, and that's when the flashbacks started. Rather than try and swim to the surface, she started holding her ears. She didn't know where her axe had gone, she'd let go of it when the water hit. She didn't care. She couldn't resurface right now, she could only try to block out the screaming... the pain of the shock of electricity running through her body. She started screaming, except there was no air. She was breathing in water now. It only took seconds before the lack of oxygen caused her to pass out.

* * *

"Johanna? Johanna are you alright?"

She didn't remember entirely how she had gotten there, but there was... back in the hospital. Finnick was hovering over her. "I didn't pass," she muttered, "I started seeing flashbacks.

"Yeah, Haymitch told us." Finnick said, grabbing her hand and taking a seat.

"Us?" Johanna spoke hoarsely, probably due to the fact that she nearly just drowned herself.

Finnick nodded, "Katniss and I. We had just come out of our squadron meeting. You should see the path to the Capitol, set up just like the arena, except there's way more than twenty four people."

Johanna heard him speak, but wasn't paying much attention to what he was saying, "Katniss passed her test?" Finnick nodded. "Where is she?"

He sighed and shrugged, "I don't know, Jo. She ran off somewhere after Haymitch told us about you. I'm sure it doesn't mean anything, she's a busy lady you know!" He was trying to cheer her up, because the fact that Katniss hadn't come down to see her did sting a little bit. Had the roles been reversed, Johanna would have been down to see Katniss within seconds. But it didn't matter, Finnick was right. "Are you going to be alright?"

"Yeah, it'll just be a couple days." Johanna said, which sent her into a coughing fit, "Gotta recover from the shock, that's all."

Finnick took her hand in both of his, "Can you do me a favor, please. Can you help take care of Annie for me. You're going to be the only familiar face to her. Besides Haymitch but he's going to be trying to help send commands to us, through Katniss. Would you do that for me?"

Johanna placed her free hand on top of his, "Of course Fin."

"And if anything happens to me-"

"Don't talk like that!" Johanna tried to interrupt.

But Finnick kept going, "If anything happens to me, help her out, alright? Don't leave her hanging. You're the only one I really trust."

"You know I would never leave Annie hanging. I'll take care of her I promise." Johanna said, trying to be as reassuring as possible. Because the truth was, she didn't know much about taking care of other people. When Katniss was having nightmares, that was a different story. But Annie needed constant care, and Johanna's harsh personality was very offputting at times, especially to Annie. Still, she would do anything for Finnick, as Fininck would do for her. "And you'll take care of Katniss?"

Finnick smiled and nodded, "I'll protect her with my life."

"Don't go all heroic and die on me out there." Johanna said in all seriousness. "Protect her, but take care of yourself. You guys are all I have."

Finnick kissed the top of her hand, "We'll look after each other. Now... I need to go figure out how I'm going to tell Annie about all of this without freaking her out." Finnick stood up and exited and Johanna got a gut wrenching feeling. She really wished she would be going along with them, but no matter what threats she yelled at them, they weren't going to let her go along. She had absolutely no way of protecting the only two people she cared about.

She was having minor flashbacks again. But not of the Capitol's torture. This time, it was of the reaping day for the 72nd Hunger Games. Corin's name was pulled, then Jaxon. For the second time she was going to have to sit back and watch her brother and the woman she loved go off and fight. But this time, it was Finnick and Katniss.

The thought snapped her back to reality, which was good considering another flashback would have hospitalized her for longer. But did she just compare Katniss to Corin? She'd done it before, but the two girls couldn't be more different. This time freaked her out a little bit, because she was finally admitting the truth. The truth she had been hiding from herself and from everybody else from the moment she had met the girl.

She loved Katniss.

That was it. That explained every crazy feeling, emotion, and thought that had run through her since they had met in the elevator. It wasn't love at first sight, absolutely not. But it grew quickly, and Johanna had been pushing it away until now. Why did she have to wait until now to realize it? Now that Katniss was going to be leaving? Why did she ever push those feelings away?

Well, she knew the answer to that question. She was afraid. Afraid that the feelings wouldn't be mutual, that Katniss was only spending time with her because she was bored, or because Peeta was hardwired to kill her now. And Johanna was a close to normal as she could find right now. Maybe Katniss knew that Johanna loved her, and that's why she let her get so close, but never too close. It would all make sense.

_Speak of the Devil._ Johanna thought as the door open.

Katniss walked in, gently closing the door behind her. She was holding something in her hand, but Johanna couldn't tell what it was.

"How are you?" She asked, smiling softly.

Johanna couldn't help but smile back at the other girl. Every doubt washed away for a brief second, "I've been worse." Katniss sat down on the edge of her bed, and held out a small green... thing. "What is this?" Johanna asked.

She got a closer look at it. It seemed to be a woven bundle made of pine needles from a tree. "I made it for you." Katniss said, almost a whisper. Johanna held the bundle up to her nose and smelled it. So many happy memories flooded her thoughts. Chasing her brothers through the trees as they hid from her. Laughing. Climbing with Ryker, trying to find animals they'd never seen before. Smiling. Her dad teaching her how to hold an axe and cut her first tree down. All happy memories.

She didn't realize that her eyes were flooded with tears. That was somewhat embarrassing in front of Katniss, but she was going to let it slide after all that had happened today. "It smells like home," she finally said.

"I hoped so," Katniss said, stroking Johanna's face.

Johanna immediately grabbed her wrist and sat up, face to face with Katniss, "You _have_ to kill him. Okay?"

"I will."

"You have to!" Johanna said, a couple of the stray tears falling down her face. _For everything he's done to me. To us._

"I will I promise!"

Katniss was dedicated to this, Johanna knew it. She'd been hurt plenty by the Capitol. Her entire district had burned down. Every Victor had a reason to have vengeance against Snow.

"And please, _please_ come back to me." Johanna said, a little softer.

"You know I can't -" Katniss started.

"Don't make excuses!" Johanna cut her off.

Katniss shook her head, "I'm not, I'm trying to be realistic."

"Well here's the reality, Mockingjay," Johanna said, looking her dead in the eyes, "I need you. No matter what happens I need you. You're all I've got left in this world."

"That's not true," Katniss said in a whisper.

"It is. I mean I have Finnick, but if you die out there then that doesn't matter anymore." Johanna said, her gaze dropping to her lap, "I know it might not mean much to you -"

"Why would you said that?" Katniss practically snapped, clearly offended, "Of course it means a lot to me that you'd say that." Johanna looked up at her, mouth slightly agape. "Just don't worry about me, take care of yourself while I'm gone."

"Well I'm going to worry." Johanna was feeling defeated. She wanted to tell Katniss the truth, right here right now. She knew she might not ever get the chance again...

"As much as I'm going to miss you," Katniss spoke soothingly, as she had done so many times to calm Johanna down, "I'm glad to know that I won't have to worry about your safety."

"You don't get it, do you?" Johanna looked back up into the other girl's eyes. A small burst of confidence (or was she just crazy?) flew through her body. "I love you, Katniss. My safety means nothing if you're not here."

Katniss was speechless, frozen, and probably confused. Johanna couldn't believe she had actually said that out loud, and tried to push Katniss away from her, like she had done plenty of times before. But unlike before, Katniss didn't budge this time. Instead she looked down at Johanna, "You love me?" Johanna nodded, afraid of what she might say if she tried to speak. "I thought you hated me this whole time so I never..." She was shaking her head, rubbing her temples with her fingers now. Great, had Johanna upset her?

Johanna was mad with herself, for saying this. Now Katniss risked getting distracted before her big battle she was running into. And Johanna would be to blame. It was too much to handle and she felt herself on the verge of hyperventilating. Needless to say, she was more than surprised when Katniss's lips were up against hers. Katniss had practically jumped on her, with so much force that Johanna had fallen back onto the bed. But Katniss went right with her.

Johanna really didn't cover from the shock, and pushed Katniss up, who only remained inches from her, "What are you doing?" She asked, "You don't have to do this because you feel bad, or something."

Katniss only laughed, cradling Johanna's face in her hands, "I don't feel bad for you." She kissed Johanna's nose gently. The girl was still utterly confused. "I love you too, Johanna. I love you the way everybody wants me to love Peeta." She sighed, and rested her head on Johanna's chest.

Johanna was staring at the celing, eyes squinted and mouth still open. When she finally spoke, she only said two words. "Well, fuck!"

Katniss was up again, looking into Johanna's eyes, "What?"

Johanna sat up, forcing the other girl to sit up as well. "I wasn't expecting that. Now we've got a big problem."

Now Katniss looked offended, "We... do?"

Johanna nodded, "Now you really, really need to live. You have to come back alive, now. You don't really have a choice anymore."

Relief seemed to flood Katniss's face as she smiled, "Well... whether I wanted to or not, I've always managed to get back to you, haven't I?" The pair couldn't help but smile at this.

Johanna took Katniss's face in her hands, and pressed her forehead against hers, "Don't you dare try and change that."


	29. Chapter 29

Katniss hadn't been allowed to stay the night with Johanna in the hospital room, and it felt almost worse than the morphling withdrawals. Johanna tried to remind herself that Katniss was busy learning things and getting acquainted with her squadron which was far more important right now.

But the girl was the first person Johanna saw in the morning. After all, she had gotten clearance to go to the launch site where the so-called "Star Squad" was going to get sent off, and it would be the last time she saw Katniss until the end of the war. Or the last time she saw Katniss ever... but she didn't want to think of that.

Katniss had led Johanna down the hallways, holding her hand. It was nice, not trying to hide it anymore, but then again nobody paid them any attention.

Finnick and Annie were in each other's embrace, as if they didn't want to let go. Haymitch was also there, and it appeared that everybody else had boarded the hovercraft already. Katniss was saying goodbye to Haymitch, and Johanna would've said something to Finnick, but he was too wrapped up with Annie and she didn't want to break them up.

She didn't have to anyway, because it didn't take long for Katniss to turn her attention back to Johanna. But she couldn't look the other girl in the eyes. Not now. She didn't want to be feeling any sort of emotions right now, but it was like there was a roller coaster inside of her or something. She pulled Katniss into a hug though, trying to keep her emotions at bay. She reached down into her pocket to make sure the little bundle that Katniss had made for her was still there. It was.

"This is all kinds of screwed up, isn't it?" Johanna finally muttered, still in Katniss's embrace.

"What is?" She asked stepping back a little.

Johanna sighed, "I'm finally able to tell you how I feel and now you're going to go run off and probably get yourself killed."

"I'm not that bad in combat!" Katniss frowned. The pair were trying to keep their voices down so nobody else heard their words.

"Yeah but..." Johanna took in a deep breath, looking somewhat frustrated, "Everyone I love ends up dying."

Katniss smiled, and Johanna couldn't tell if it was with pity or with love. Maybe it was a mix of both. "Maybe you should stop loving me for a little bit," Katniss joked, or at least Johanna hoped it was a joke.

Johanna just shrugged, "I couldn't even if I tried. Sorry, I think I screwed you over."

The jokes really weren't all that funny. Neither of the girls seemed too amused by them, probably due to the gravity of the situation right now. The fact that this very well could be the last time they saw each other was weighing heavily in Johanna's mind.

"At least it would have been all worth it," Katniss muttered, giving Johanna's hand a squeeze.

Finnick came into Johanna's line of sight, and pulled her into a hug before she could say anything. It was quick, but Johanna still cherished it. "You know I've got her back. Everyone does. If she dies, the rebellion dies!" Finnick said, trying to cheer her up. It was working a little on Johanna but Katniss didn't seem to like it very much. He noticed this and turned to whisper to her though everyone else could still hear, "No pressure, or anything."

"Take care, Fin. Come back in one piece." Johanna said, giving him a friendly little shove in his chest, "And remember it isn't a fashion show. You don't need to look so pretty all the time!"

"Then... why are there cameras?" He winked, but his attention was quickly taken again by Annie, whom he kissed with all the love in the world. It was quite something, to see them together, unable to be broken apart.

Finally, Finnick disappeared out of sight and boarded the hovercraft. Annie looked like she was about to burst into tears, and for once... Johanna knew what that felt like. And she could feel Annie's pain as Katniss let go of her hand, to follow Finnick on the hovercraft.

But Haymitch's laugh bellowing out into the room forced Katniss to pause and look back, "Is there something wrong, Haymitch?" She asked.

"Really? After all that you're just gonna walk away. Be okay with a hug and say goodbye and then pretend like everything's alright after?" Haymitch said, amusement still in his tone. All three girls in the room were now giving him funny looks.

"Wait, are you drunk?" Katniss asked.

"Nope. Can't drink here, remember?" Haymitch smirked, he turned to Johanna and raised an eyebrow at her, "Oh? You want to look at me like I'm crazy? You think I'm blind or something. You look at Katniss the way Finnick looks at Annie." Haymitch shook his head and threw his hands up, "I give up, I don't understand you guys. Never have, never will."

He walked away, but Johanna was still trying to register what Haymitch had said. Was it really that obvious? That was kind of embarrassing if it was... how many people would have known. Katniss seemed a little surprised by this too, but at least she wasn't panicking like she had been when Finnick caught them. That was a good thing, she was growing.

Katniss just mouthed an apology to Johanna, probably for Haymitch's behavior. She turned to board the hovercraft and Johanna knew she only had seconds left. "Katniss, wait!" She said, almost a little too loudly and strode over to the other girl. With a lack of gentleness and all the intensity she had, she kissed Katniss, holding her tight. Despite the audience of two still in the room and the distinct possibility that people from inside the hovercraft could see, Katniss still didn't push away. Instead she leaned into it herself, clutching on to Johanna's shirt. Finally, they pulled apart, and Johanna was smirking, "Haymitch did have a point."

Katniss smiled, but she seemed sad at the same time, "Goodbye Johanna. I'll see you soon."

"May the odds be ever in your favor." Johnna said, letting go of her hand and watching the door close behind Katniss. As the hovercraft started to take off, Johanna was having that sense of deja vu again. It was like sending Katniss into the Hunger Games, except instead of Snow working to save her... he was going to be trying to kill her.

Johanna turned around and walked towards Haymitch and Annie.

"Well damn." Haymitch chuckled, "If she'd kissed Peeta like that, my job might have been a whole lot easier in her first Games." Johanna rolled her eyes and caught glimpse of Annie giving her a funny look. "How about I show you ladies to the Control room?" Haymitch said, patting Johanna's back in a friendly manner.

There was nothing else for her to do, so why not. Johanna and Annie were both going to have to distract themselves for a long time. These seconds were going to seem like hours, the minutes like days...

She had a sinking feeling in her gut about all of this.

* * *

"Peeta?" Johanna hissed, "You're going to send in Peeta?"

"Johanna, I think the lack of sleep is affecting the way you're thinking." President Coin said to the Victor, calmly, "They need a replacement, so we're sending him in."

Johanna shook her head. Sure, she was tired. She'd spent most of her time alongside Plutarch, Haymitch, Annie, and occasionally President Coin in the Control Room. It was kind of like being a mentor, but since she hadn't been very good at that she decided to just sit still and watch. Though they did ask her for her advice and input at times. And now she was giving her input, even though the others didn't want to hear it.

"Why don't you send me? At least I'm not hard wired to kill her!" Johanna was yelling, but she didn't care.

"Johanna's right," Peeta said. And for a moment, Johanna felt bad about all this yelling, because she wasn't exactly mad at Peeta. None of it was his fault. She was more so mad that he would get to be so close to Katniss, not her.

"Johanna didn't pass her exam." Coin said flatly, "You don't need to take it because you won't be fighting. This is all for the cameras. Peeta and Katniss together at last, fighting alongside one another." Coin smiled, "He's going, end of discussion."

Johanna huffed and stormed out of the Control Room.

It wasn't long until another person gingerly left the control room and ended up at Johanna's side. "How about we go home, Jo?"

She looked up at Annie, who was smiling at her. Johanna couldn't help but smile back, she had to. For Annie's sake. After all, this poor girl was trying so hard, being separated yet again from Finnick. Johanna put her arm on Annie's shoulder, "Is that what you want?"

"Yeah, and you can tell me some stories about life in District Seven. I only went there on my Victory Tour, but I didn't see much of it." Annie said, her eyes seemed glazed over, as if her mind had gone to the past, but she was back within seconds.

"Sure, sounds nice Annie." Johanna said. Annie took her hand and Johanna led her back up to the room.

They were staying together, since neither of them wanted to be alone. Johanna had quickly learned that Annie had more nightmares than herself and Katniss combined. She often found herself comforting the poor girl. It helped only a little bit. Annie didn't have to say anything, but it became apparent that Johanna wasn't a good enough replacement for Finnick. And Annie wasn't the best replacement for Katniss either, but they were making do.

They talked for a long time, telling stories of their childhood. Sometimes Annie would even laugh at some of the things Johanna said, and for a few hours they forgot how alone they were, because they had each other. But Annie managed to slap the two of them right back into reality while she was talking about her parents, who had passed away a few years ago from old age.

"...I'm just sad that my baby will never get to meet them." She finished, looking truly depressed.

"You need a baby for that to happen, Annie." Johanna answered, but kept her abrasive tone at bay. Not around this girl.

Annie looked up at her, smiling, but several tears already falling down her cheeks. "I do, Johanna."

"What?" Johanna squinted at Annie, trying to make sense of this.

"I'm pregnant!"


	30. Chapter 30

"For the first time in years, I'm not alone. I found someone. And Snow still managed to take her from me."

Johanna was mindlessly babbling now, staring at the ground by her feet. The television in the Control Room had Snow's face, and he was talking about the death of the Mockinjay and how her death would bring peace to Panem... or some bull like that. Johanna wasn't paying much attention to it. Right now, her heart was heavy and her head was swimming. Her hands were cupping the woven pine needle bundle, and she stared at it as if Katniss might magically pop out of it at any second. But of course, that was irrational.

Annie would have been screaming, except they chose to sedate her when the news came out of the "Star Squad" being burned alive. Haymitch was the only one who was still hopeful. "They haven't found any bodies yet. When they find the bodies, that's when I'll believe it." He kept muttering. Johanna wanted to think like that, but of course she believed the worst. That's all she had ever known in her life. All she ever would know.

She believed that after losing everybody she loved, the only reason she had hung on was because subconsciously her heart somehow knew that it would find Katniss and she could begin to heal again. Now, everything was shattered. She just felt like curling up into a ball and exploding.

"With the news of their death, Snow launched a major counter-offensive." Coin said, stomping in, "He thinks we can't win without her, but I have an idea. Johanna?"

Johanna kept her gaze to the floor, she didn't feel like being a part in any plans now. It was too late for that.

"I was hoping maybe you could share your story with Panem. Annie could share hers. Haymitch could share his... We could show Snow that even if our Mockingjay is dead, we can still win. We still have enough people angry at him, who we can easily send out to kill him." Coin said, a devilsh smile playing at her lips.

"Why would I do that?" Johanna asked, feeling defeated. At least they were saying "the Mockingjay" was dead, and not Katniss. Otherwise she'd have to be sedated too. No, she took the news in a very different way than Annie had. But Annie had every right to scream and throw a fit. She had just told Johanna that she was pregnant, and Finnick had never even known about it. The odds never really seemed to be in their favor.

Coin sighed, as if Johanna should have already known the answer to that question, "Or else our friends might have died for nothing."

Johanna didn't like the way Coin said "our friends", but she swallowed her words. She wasn't in the insulting mood anyways. In fact, she was doing everything she could to not cry in front of all of them, especially Plutarch and Coin... then again, none of it mattered anymore. Maybe she didn't need to hang on to who she was anymore. Maybe she could let go.

"Alright, for the rebellion."

* * *

Annie had been shaky up in front of the camera. She wasn't good with that anyway, but the fact that it was a live feed to the Capitol and all of Panem clearly made it harder for her. But she managed to tell the story of how she met Finnick, and how Finnick had disobeyed orders only once, and that resulted in her getting reaped, and how Snow made sure she won... but it was already too late.

Haymitch's story was a little jucier, with his using the arena to his advantage and making the Capitol look like fools. He spoke about how he payed for it. Though it was a better story, they seemed quick to get him off. As Plutarch said, he wanted to give most of the air time to the younger Victors. And they seemed like they were rushing to get to Johanna.

Normally, she'd be nervous, since nobody other than Finnick knew her entire story. But there was no nervousness now, as she stepped up in front of the camera. Only hatred, aimed directly at Snow.

Johanna didn't know exactly where to start, so she just started talking. She spoke about how Snow wanted to use her for prostitution, and how she refused because she chose to stay loyal to the one she loved. She spoke about how her family had been burned alive, and how her parents would never see her get married. Her brothers would never grow up, they would be toddlers forever. She spoke about the reaping that year, and she spoke about Corin, and how Snow made her choose between her and Jaxon. There were audible gasps in the room at that point, as nobody knew that the girl had meant anything to Johanna that year. Everybody had apologized when Jaxon died, nobody had payed any mind to Corin's death, except for Finnick of course. She spoke about Ryker, and how Snow had manipulated him and twisted his mind, but kept him alive so that he could psychologically torture Johanna just by seeing him around their District.

She eventually got to speaking openly of her torture, and what they had done to Peeta, Annie, and herself. She spoke about how the sounds of screaming still kept her up at night.

"You took everything from me Snow." _And now you took Katniss too._ "Everything I had, everyone I loved. Gone. Just like you wanted. So I don't know why I'm still going. Why I'm breathing, or moving, since I have nothing. But I figured it out." Johanna was standing now, glaring right into the camera, "It's because you're still here. As long as you're here, I'll be right here with you. And you think killing Katniss is going to solve your problems? You're wrong. You're so _very_ wrong! This won't be over! Because there's not a place on this planet where you can hide from me Snow. I will get to you, and I will take everything you love. Your family, your power, the loyalty of your people... And when you start to realize a little bit of what kind of hell my life has been, even though it will never compare, then I'll be satisfied. Satisfied enough to kill you. And the last thing you're going to see in this pathetic little life of yours will be my axe, as it's hurling towards your face!"

She hadn't realized she was screaming at the camera until she stopped talking, and there was an eerie silence in the room. Everyone was in awe, looking up at her. Even in the midst of a rebellion, nobody else had the balls to threaten Snow like that. But Johanna had never been scared of him. Why start now.

"And... Cut!" They called, praising her for a job well done.

Johanna didn't want to hear it. Instead she stormed up Plutarch and Coin, while there was still a little bit of intensity in the air. "I want to get out of here."

"Where do you want to go?" Plutarch asked her.

"Wherever they need me. Whichever District is being hit the hardest by Snow's attacks." Johanna said flatly. She was going to help the rebellion in any way she could, and when Snow was dead and the world was at peace... then she would find herself some nightlock berries and take her final breath, because she would no longer have anything worth living for.

Plutarch nodded, despite a couple of Coin's protests, "If she wants to help we should let her help." He scanned over a couple of Holo files and sighed, "Well I'll be... It's District Seven. Their peacekeeper army has been standing strong against the rebels for a long time. A lot of lives have been lost over there, but the Peacekeepers are relentless, and the rebels aren't giving up."

"It might be nice for them to see a familiar face, someone to rally behind." Coin muttered, pretending like this was the plan all along.

"I'll go home. I'll know most of them anyway." Johanna said. She wasn't going to tell them that Ryker was the head of this peacekeeper unit, and that's why they were so strong. If they knew that she knew this, they might not let her go.

"There's just one thing..." Plutarch and Coin exchanged glances with each other. Johanna squinted her eyes. What could possibly be so bad?

"District Seven has been flooded."

* * *

"Feel good to be going home Soldier Mason?" Haymitch said, smirking at Johanna.

She laughed, rolling her eyes at him, "I don't know yet!"

She was in somewhat of a good mood. Earlier that day, right before she had been sent out with a camera crew and a small pack of rebel soldiers, they had received news that the Star Squad had survived, and no bodies were found. Which meant that Katniss and Finnick were alive, and well on their way to get Snow. Johanna couldn't be more relieved by the news, knowing that Katniss was alive. Haymitch had been right all along, and Johanna wasn't going to doubt him again. Which was good, since she was going to be wearing an earpiece with Haymitch giving her orders from the hovercraft.

The craft descended, and the scent of pine needles immediately hit Johanna's nose. The door wasn't even open yet, but the smell was strong. She hadn't been home in a long time. Her thoughts went straight to her woven pine needle bundle, which she had neatly wrapped up and tucked in her belt pocket so that she could have it with her the entire time she was here. For some reason, the bundle made her feel better.

"This is dangerous, Johanna." Haymitch said as the hovercraft landed. The door opened. The soldiers were putting on their helmets and were ready to exit and go to their base.

Johanna shrugged, "Can't be half as bad as what Katniss and Finnick are dealing with. Plus, I've got the home field advantage!" Johanna smiled, "See you in a few, Haymitch." She turned on her earpiece and walked to the door. But she stopped, right before setting foot in her District.

She had known about the Dam breaking. She knew there was a flood, but she didn't expect the entire district to be knee length deep in water. She looked down at it, as if it were poison. Of all the districts... hers had to be the one to flood?


	31. Chapter 31

**Author's Note: ** I just realized that in the past several chapters I should've posted a disclaimer that there were Mockinjay spoilers, for those who haven't read Mockingjay yet. As I am following the story line (with my own twist and my own ending of course!), I have already given away some things that happened and there is more to come. So... beware, I guess! And, happy reading! Take care (:

* * *

_"Ready or not, here I come!" The small boy's voice echoed through the forest. _

_He ran through the trees, looking behind them, behind rocks, but he couldn't find his target. He was panting heavily. Then, he looked up. A face of a small girl quickly hid behind one of the large branches. _

_"I got you know, Jo!" The boy yelled, laughing. _

_He climbed the tree, and the young Johanna, only about eight years old, started to run out on the branch. Fearless in the trees... she'd been climbing them since she could walk. That's why the boy was so fast at climbing. _

_They were both laughing now, as the boy went to tag Johanna, but she tried to duck out of his way, only managing to slip off the branch. She caught herself, cutting up her wrists and fingers, but she held on tight. She needed to. It was a good twenty foot drop. She could get badly hurt, or die if she fell the wrong way. She started to panic. _

_"Hold on Jo!" The boy said, running out on the ledge. He stopped when there was a loud SNAP. Johanna was on the verge of crying, her fingers were slipping. _

_The boy got to his knees, and started to crawl. "Don't, you're gonna make it break!" Johanna cried out. _

_"It's fine. It won't break. I'm just going to take a few more steps..." he moved and reached out his arm. The branch was making terrible cracking noises. It wasn't as sturdy as she had thought. "Take my hand, Johanna. I'll catch you, don't worry!"_

_Johanna was afraid to hold out her hand. She hesitated. All of the sudden, the branch snapped off, sending Johanna hurling downwards towards the ground. Except she didn't hit the ground. She didn't go very far from the branch at all, because the boy had reached out and grabbed her wrist. He pulled her back to safety. _

_When they were on the ground, the boy hugged the shaking girl. "Are you alright Jo?" He asked._

_"I'm fine." She muttered, "Thanks for saving my life, Ryker."_

* * *

Johanna wasn't supposed to be in combat right now. She hadn't been authorized for that. She was supposed to just show her face and give the troops words of encouragement and hoped that worked. She had been given the axe because that was her "thing". But Beetee had given her a wink when he handed it to her. He must have known that she'd end up using it one way or another.

The thing was, Johanna wasn't really trying to fight. She would have avoided it if she could. She felt like, for once, she had a duty to be safe and responsible. What would Katniss think if she got back to District Thirteen and found out Johanna had died in a fight in District Seven. Especially after all the shit she had given Katniss about coming back and how she had to live.

But the peacekeeper army had ambushed the rebels, and Johanna had gotten caught up in all of it. Which meant that now there was water splashing around everywhere. It had taken her forever to get out of the hovercraft in the first place. And that was just carefully treading through it. This... this was ridiculous.

The water was the least of her worries though. She found it easy to focus on the peacekeepers, especially when they were shooting at her. But they were gunning everybody down, and they were loosing men fast.

"Most of these peacekeepers were bred in District Two." Haymitch's voice buzzed into her ear. For some reason, this sentence registered with her. If they weren't from Seven they wouldn't know the area like the rebels.

"Everybody to the trees! Get to the forest! Now!" She yelled at them. She wasn't in command, but everybody listened, and she led what was left of the group to the trees. The peacekeepers followed, but now they had something to duck behind, to dodge the bullets.

The District Seven natives were in the trees almost instantly. They got good positions and started shooting the peacekeepers with deadly accuracy. The non-natives ducked behind the trees and fired from there. When both sides were loosing ammo, they found themselves in hand to hand combat, using battering clubs to bludgeon their opponents to death. Again, the natives were prepared with an axe at their side. It was just what these people felt comfortable with.

The tide was turning in their favor, especially with Johanna taking out four to five at a time with her axe. She saw one peacekeeper beating a young soldier to death further off in the distance. She practically growled as she started running over there. The peacekeeper saw her in time and raised his weapon to block her blow. The soldier took advantage and ran away.

Johanna swung again at his head and missed, so she swung the other way, hitting him with the butt of her axe on the face. It knocked him back, knocking his helmet right up. She was about to deliver the fatal blow, until she realized who it was.

_Ryker_.

The last person left from her past. The only person still alive who she had shared intimate memories with. One of the most important people from her childhood. He was all she had left in District Seven, though he had been taken from her. She still hesitated to kill him, because the good far outweighed the bad... until she realized that he was the one ordering the peacekeepers to kill her people. The people who should have been his people too.

"Johanna listen..." The young man pleaded with her, scooting away from her.

Johanna responded by swinging her axe down. He rolled out of the way and on to his feet. He was running in the opposite direction, away from the fighting. Johanna hated to leave them like this, but he was in charge and if he died, then the fighting might die too. So she charged after him.

There was a lot of Johanna swinging her axe at him, and him blocking it or ducking out of the way. She knew he was waiting for her to throw it, so he could dodge it, and then use it himself. He wasn't as good at her, but he knew how to handle an axe and she'd be in trouble.

Ryker knew he was at a disadvantage, so he took to the one place he knew best... the tree line. He quickly climbed up a tree. Johanna wasn't far behind him.

"Johanna where are you?!" Haymitch's voice yelled in her ear. She ripped the earpiece out and threw it to the ground. She was being fueled by rage right now. Ryker hopped out onto a branch, as if he were daring Johanna to join her so they could fight to the death there. But instead of face him in combat, she swung her axe right into the tree.

Ryker realized what she was doing, and looked around for a place to jump. There was none, the only way off that branch was down... and that's exactly where he was heading, with one more swing Johanna could slice right through the branch and it would send him hurling to his death.

"Johanna listen. It doesn't have to be like this." He was holding his hands out, as if that was going to stop her.

Her axe was in her hands, ready to swing down and deliver the fatal blow to the branch. "None of it had to be like this Ryker. Hundreds of people are dying, right now! You didn't have to attack us."

"Then Snow would have killed me!"

"That's not an excuse anymore!" Johanna snapped, "You could have joined us instead. You can. Fight for what's right, for once in your life!"

Ryker's eyes looked down, knowing what was awaiting him if he didn't agree, "You still blame me for what happened."

"That's in the past," Johanna tried to shrug it off, "I'm worried about now."

"No, I see it in your eyes. You still blame me... and it hurts." Ryker said, she didn't know what he was getting at, "I guess I was a foolish boy, thinking that I could ever get a beautiful girl like you to want me."

"What?" Johanna muttered. She didn't understand, but Ryker got the response he wanted when Johanna let her guard down. He charged at her, slamming her into the tree. The axe fell from her grasp, plummeting down to the ground. He punched her in the face, and started to choke her, pressing her body up against the tree.

"I'm not foolish anymore, Mason." He whispered harshly, spitting the words in her face, "You talked about how you have nobody left alive. Like I meant nothing to you! Like our childhood meant nothing! You were all I had, yet I meant nothing to you." He looked like he was fighting back tears, and Johanna might have felt bad for her old friend if he wasn't trying to kill her right now. She was running out of oxygen.

She managed to kick him hard enough so that he loosened his grip. She pushed him away, tackling him onto the branch.

_Snap._

She pinned him to the branch, her knees on either side of him, "Look at you! Look at what you've become!" She slammed his head and torso down on the tree again. _Snap._ "You're not the boy I grew up with!" She did it once more.

_CRACK._

The last one was hard enough to break what was left of the branch, sending them both downwards.

Johanna reached up and grabbed for whatever she could, getting her fingers to barely grasp around the remaining part of the branch. She pulled herself up, and looked down.

She saw him, lying there, his face frozen in death. He didn't move, he didn't breathe. Her best friend was dead.

And as she stared down at him, she heard it. She knew it wasn't there, that the sound was only in her mind, but it was enough to send chills down her spine. It was the sound of a loved one dying.

_Boom. _


	32. Chapter 32

"Johanna, they want us back in Thirteen."

Haymitch had joined her on the ground, after the peacekeepers surrendered. Without their leader, the fighting had only lasted another five minutes. Johanna had carried Ryker's body back, knowing that she was the most important person to him, she took him to a special place where they played as kids, and did the District Seven funeral ceremony for him herself. Haymitch had actually found her, drowning herself in her own sorrow. She told him that she wasn't mourning for the man she killed, but for the boy she had grown up with, and she had to put him to rest if she was ever going to live with herself.

The next several days had been all about rebuilding. The District was in ruins. First, they needed to rebuild the dam and figure out the flooding situation. Johanna did her best to stay on dry ground, now that there wasn't fighting to distract her. The fact that someone had gotten electrocuted to death trying to restore a power line... She didn't want to go through that. She had even said that to Katniss in the games: _"Frying is not how I intend to go"_.

She hadn't needed to do much anyway. Just be around for moral support, help put together a home, or run around with some children. It was weird because she didn't like children that much. She didn't mind them, but found them particularly needy and annoying. But they looked up to her, and she could manage to be friendly to them. They would never need to know the kind of pain she knew growing up, and for them she was happy.

But she was relieved when Haymitch said it was time to go back to District Thirteen. It wasn't her home, in any way, shape, or form, but she didn't quite like seeing her home all beat up like this.

She realized in that moment, there wasn't anything left for her here. Especially with Ryker gone. Nothing but memories, good and bad, both she treasured. And she'd keep those memories close. But life wasn't about memories, it was about making new ones in the future. And she couldn't do that here, not in District Seven.

"Alright then, let's go." She said, taking in her home one last time. She'd come back, she knew it. But there would never be anything waiting her for her. She wasn't sure if there would be anyone or anything waiting for her anywhere else in the world, but she knew she was doing the right thing by not staying behind.

* * *

"What do they want us for, anyway? She asked when they were on the hovercraft. Haymitch sighed. He had been sitting quietly, nervously tapping his fingers and he looked like he really wanted something to drink. Johanna started to get a little nervous. "Haymitch?" She pressed when he didn't answer.

"We got him." He muttered.

"Who?"

"We got Snow."

A smile instantly took over Johanna's face, and not a forced one. It was real, true, and genuine. "He's dead?"

"Not yet, they're holding him in District Thirteen. But it's over now, we won." Haymitch spoke, but he didn't seem particularly happy.

Johanna laughed, giddily. "This is incredible! Will they publicly execute him?"

"Most likely," Haymitch shrugged.

"I want to stand close to him, somewhere he can see me before he dies. I want him to suffer..." Johanna said.

"I think we all do. But first I caught wind of a little plan the rebels have, Plutarch says the seven remaining victors need to vote on it, so it can't be anything good. That's how I see it." Haymitch muttered.

"Wait. Seven? That's all that's left?" Johanna's jaw dropped. She knew about the Victors in her district, but there were fifty nine before the Quarter Quell... now there were seven. "So who is it? You and me are two. Annie. Beetee. If they got Snow that means the others are back right?" She was pretty sure Haymitch knew she was talking about Katniss.

He nodded, but still seemed somber.

"So who's left. You, me, Annie, Beetee, Finnick, Katniss, and Peeta. That's seven." Johanna said, thinking out loud. There was something Haymitch wasn't telling her.

He was breathing heavily, "That's seven. But it's the wrong seven. We got Enobaria back, she's one of them."

"Then who..." She trailed off, realizing that it was going to be someone she cared about. "Katniss?" She asked, horrified.

"She's fine." Haymitch said, "Well, not fine but she's alive."

"Not fine?" Johanna asked, starting to freak out a little bit. What did that mean? Did she get hurt?

"You'll find out." Haymitch muttered.

"No!" Johanna argued, "Please, tell me. I can't do this. I can't take it, what's going on? Who didn't make it home?"

Haymitch took in a deep breath, as if to start a long story, "Here's the news Plutarch gave me. They got Snow, and they sent in rescuers to get our people out of the Capitol square. Katniss was badly burned, but alive. Gale had been shot but he lived. Peeta was burnt but not nearly as bad as Katniss." Johanna didn't like hearing this, how Katniss was hurt. She was hurting herself, on the inside, just getting news of this. "Prim didn't make it, and Katniss isn't taking it well."

Johanna slouched back in her seat, covering her mouth with her hand. Prim didn't make it. She knew what it was like to loose a sibling. She knew all about loss, and the fact that the entire revolution even started because Katniss loved her sister so much that she volunteered to take her place in the Hunger Games... and this was how it ended? She didn't know what she was going to say to Katniss, if she was going to say anything at all. But she was going to be there. To comfort her and make her feel a little less alone in the world, just like Finnick had done for her when Jaxon and Corin died in the Games. Finnick.

Wait a minute...

The wheels in her head started turning.

"Finnick?" She finally said, still putting all the pieces together. Haymitch wouldn't look at her. "Haymitch, where' Finnick? Where the hell is Finnick?!" Her voice was rising.

"He didn't make it."

* * *

Johanna had spent all this time worrying about Katniss, and getting caught up in the fact that she was falling in love with someone and it wasn't something she was really used to. Especially now that she was mature. But with all of this, she forgot to think much about Finnick. Annie probably had been doing enough of that.

This man, such a gentle and caring man and most people never even got to know him for that. She knew him on such a personal level. Her best friend... her brother. He was like Jaxon and Ryker combined into one. He was the guy that motivated her to keep her going when she was so low that she thought she could easily just end it all. He always cared for her and checked up on her and he was by far one of the most important people in her life. She couldn't protect him.

Finnick was gone.

As soon as they got back to District Thirteen, Johanna went straight to find Annie. She was in the hospital, of course. She would have liked to see Katniss, but Katniss wasn't allowing any visitors. Seeing Annie was the right thing to do anyway.

She rushed right into her room, only to find Annie tied up, probably so that she wouldn't harm herself, and Peeta trying to coax some food into the sobbing girl's mouth.

Both of them looked up at her when she walked in. Annie was a wreck. Her hair was a mess and her face was swollen from crying. She looked like she hadn't stopped. Johanna couldn't blame her. Peeta had seen better days himself. His arms and face were still a little scarred red from the burns, he looked tired and fatigued, but he obviously cared about Annie. She didn't seem to want any of the food he was trying to feed her.

"They killed him Johanna. Finnick's -"

"I know!" Johanna said quickly, to cut the girl off. She didn't want to hear it again. If she did, she would cry again. She cried on the hovercraft. Johanna Mason didn't cry. But she cried for Finnick Odair, because he deserved her tears. It was the least she could give him. That, and keeping her word to him. He wanted her to take care of Annie... and she was going to do exactly that.

She sat by Annie, and held her hand as best as she could, even though it was tied up. "It'll all turn out okay, Annie. I know you don't want to eat but you have to." Annie just shook her head, holding her mouth tight. They'd figure out how to get food into her system somehow if they needed to.

"Please Annie, for Finnick?" Peeta asked, holding the food to her mouth.

She turned away, "Finnick's not here. I want to be with him."

"But Finnick is here," Peeta said. Both of the girls looked up at him. He placed his hand on her baby bump, "He's right here. You're carrying the last remaining piece of Finnick, right inside of you. That baby is you, it's Finnick, and it's the love you had for each other. If you die, all of those things die. We don't want that to happen, right?"

Annie shook her head, and Johanna stared at Peeta in awe. He really was wise beyond his years, and was capable of comforting people in a way she never really could. She got bitter for a moment, wondering if Katniss would prefer his company while she mourned the loss of her sister. But that's not what it was about.

Peeta got Annie to eat her food, and take care of herself. She had even stopped crying, and instead focused on her stomach and nothing else. She was never going to be normal again, but maybe she could find a new lease on life with what Peeta said. After all, it made sense.

Johanna had moved to the outside of the room, looking in through the window. It didn't take long for Peeta to join her.

"That was great, what you did in there for Annie." Johanna said after standing with him in silence.

Peeta shrugged, "Annie's a good girl. She could never hurt a fly and she doesn't deserve any of this."

"None of us really do. Right?" Johanna mulled over that thought.

"No, we don't. We were all just dealt a bad hand in life." He said, "Speaking of getting dealt a bad hand... I saw your message to Snow. We all did. It was after Finnick had died, but Katniss and I watched it together. We were hiding out in a house and there was a TV." He paused for a moment, trying to find the right words to say, "I guess what I'm getting at is that I just really admire you, Johanna. I do."

Johanna didn't know what to say to that. Obviously he had no idea what was going on between her and Katniss, but then again, neither did she. Not anymore, at least. And if she didn't have Katniss then Johanna was going to be truly alone.

As if reading her thoughts, Peeta spoke more, "I just want you to know that you're not going to be alone. Ever, even if you feel like it. You have me, always. You have Annie, her son. Katniss. Haymitch. Beetee. We're all going to be here for you. Always."

Johanna felt tears lining her eyes, but she blinked them away. With everything she had lost, she never chose to focus on the things she gained. She never considered Peeta a friend before this, especially with Katniss involved. But she did now, and that just made everything harder. But to know that, no matter what, _someone_ was offering his friendship to her when she needed it most... it meant a lot.

"Thank you Peeta." Johanna whispered, and hugged him. She didn't hug very many people. It wasn't a natural thing for her to do. But he helped her realize that suffering through loss was never the end, there was always something to be gained.


	33. Chapter 33

Johanna hadn't been allowed in to see Katniss. Nobody had, because she wasn't taking visitors in the burn unit.

It was frustrating, and she wasn't getting much sleep because of this. All she wanted to do was be in her presence and know she was alive and she was going to be okay. When her and Peeta were eating dinner one night and talking about it, she started ranting about how she felt like they lied to her and were only pretending Katniss was okay. Peeta said he felt the same way, and the paranoia struck the both of them.

She toned it down when Peeta pointed out that he didn't know she and Katniss were so close. She really didn't want to hurt the boy's feelings at all, especially with everything he was going through. It was just heavy tragedy on top of tragedy and she wasn't sure how much more she could take.

They did see her briefly, when they voted on one final Hunger Games for the children of powerful Capitol leaders. The fact that Snow had a granddaughter made it all the more thrilling, especially since they voted yes. Of course that was Johanna's vote. For her mom and dad, Jaiden, Jared, Jaxon, Corin, Ryker, and Finnick... she voted yes.

She saw Katniss again during Snow's execution. The remaining Victors were all told to stand nearby, mostly for the cameras. They were the ones he had hurt the most, on a more personal level so it only made sense. But the whole thing had gone terrible wrong and Katniss shot the wrong person. Now there was a trial, and Katniss's life was on the line, and Johanna had to speak on her behalf, of course only saying positive things about her. She didn't want to be the one to incriminate the woman she loved.

Still, after all this, they kept Katniss locked up in a room, and she didn't want to see anybody. But Johanna was persistent, and finally after days and days of waiting, they let her in.

Johanna froze at the doorway, alone with Katniss, who was lying on the bed unmoving. She didn't say anything, but instead just crawled into the bed with her and wrapped her arms around Katniss. They lay there, silent and unmoving until the doctors told Johanna to leave.

This happened several times, Johanna would walk in, the two wouldn't speak, and they would lie there in silence. That was, at least, until the morphling withdrawals. Johanna still came every single day and stayed as long as she was allowed, holding Katniss, whispering soothing words to her. Though Katniss never said anything in return. She did, however, stop giving her the cold shoulder so much. At the height of the morphling withdrawals, Katniss had started to huddle up close to Johanna, as close as she could get so that she could hide her face in Johanna's body. And Johanna wished she knew if she was helping Katniss as much as Katniss had helped her when she was going through this.

One day was particularly different.

Johanna had gone to visit Katniss, expecting the same routine of the past several days. But this was different. Katniss was sitting up and facing the doorway when Johanna walked in. It was enough to evoke a smile on Johanna's face. She sat on the foot of Katniss's bed, and reached out to hold her hand.

"How did you do it?" Katniss finally said after a long silence, "How did you cope after your family died?"

Johanna scooted closer to Katniss, to take both of her hands in her own, "It's not easy. It hurts. It will hurt for a long time. I had to teach myself how to smile again. How to laugh, how to be happy. But I think I only coped because I knew that something good _had_ to come out of something so bad. There was something good waiting for me somewhere."

"Was there?" Katniss seemed to be soaking in every word Johanna said.

Johanna couldn't help but smile again, "I found you, didn't I?"

Katniss practically fell into Johanna's arms, burying her head in Johanna's shoulder, crying. Johanna didn't know what she had done wrong, but she found herself trying to soothe the girl again, running her hands up and down Katniss's back, kissing her head... anything to make her feel better. They stayed like this for the rest of Johanna's visit, silent.

* * *

"Hey! Slow down!"

People were yelling at Johanna as she sprinted past them, pushing them out of her way to get to the launch area in time. She had only found out about Katniss's verdict several minutes ago, and how she was to stay in District Twelve only, until further notice. Which meant she was leaving here right away. She knew she was boarding the hovercraft, and she wasn't sure if she had missed it yet, but she was praying that she would make it in time.

She pushed people out of the way, and got threats from some of the guards. She didn't care, she needed to get to Katniss.

Today was Johanna's lucky day, kind of. She made it to the launch site in time to see Katniss starting to board the hovercraft, with Haymitch right behind her.

"Katniss wait!" She yelled, loud enough that several people froze. But Katniss heard her, and gave her a funny look as she ran up. But it was enough to get Katniss back off the hovercraft, onto the floor, and into Johanna's embrace. "You were going to leave without saying goodbye?"

"They wouldn't let me. They want me out of here as soon as possible." Katniss said. She looked relieved to see Johanna. "I wanted to. I would have."

Johanna finally pulled out of the hug, even though she didn't want to let go, "So you're going to Twelve?"

Katniss nodded, "And what about you, are you going to Seven?"

"No," Johanna shook her head. Katniss seemed surprised. "There's nothing for me there. I'm going to Four with Annie, to help her with the baby and all that. I promised Finnick I'd take care of her."

"Oh." Katniss said, lowering her gaze, "Will I see you again?"

"Of course." Johanna said, lifting Katniss's gaze back up so they were looking each other in the eyes. Johanna smiled, "I'll call you if you want. We can talk, and we'll visit. We'll figure something out."

This wasn't a good enough answer for Katniss. She looked about ready to protest it. It wasn't good enough for Johanna either, but if Katniss started protesting it, Johanna would change her mind. Then who would take care of Annie? She couldn't do that to her, or Finnick. She promised. She couldn't break her promise. There was no other way. After all, Johanna was used to living her life in heartbreak, now didn't have to be any different. At least this time, she'd have people who relied on her.

So in fear of getting talked into changing her mind, she decided not to let Katniss speak at all. Her lips found Katniss's, and she pulled the girl as close to her as she could, knowing very well it could be the last time that she was ever going to kiss Katniss, or hold her... or even just touch her.

It seemed so short-lived, as they were broken apart since the hovercraft needed to leave right away. Johanna watched as Katniss walked away, though she kept looking back at Johanna... confused by what was going on.

Johanna was confused too, as she watched Katniss board the hovercraft, and watched as it went away. But she had done the right thing, choosing to stay with Annie. Didn't she?

It didn't feel like it. But a promise was a promise.


	34. Chapter 34

"I don't think I'm going to like it here, Annie?" Johanna had said when they set foot in Disrict Four.

It wasn't Johanna's first time here, but it was the first time that she realized there was water _everywhere_. She didn't like that, especially since she was going to be living here for who knows how long.

Annie giggled, "It's okay Johanna, it won't hurt you." She took Johanna by the hand and led her to her house in Victor's Village. There was a lot of rebuilding to be done in District Four as well, and most of the people seemed to be displaced and disoriented. This was a running theme in the Districts, and it was going to be a long time before the people could learn to be happy again.

Johanna carried a bag for Annie, because she didn't have much of her own. All she had brought with her was the axe from Beetee, and of course the pine needle bundle from Katniss. Those were the only two things that had any meaning to her right now.

Annie's house was nice, well-kept, and untouched by the war. Just like Johanna's own house had been when she visited it. They must not have wanted to destroy such nice homes, while everything else was dispensable. The only problem with this house, was it was right on the edge of the beach, and in high-tide, the water could reach all way to the wall of the house. Annie seemed to enjoy this, but Johanna wasn't particularly keen on that.

So she chose to distract herself in other ways. She helped Annie build her nursery. Johanna went and chopped up the wood to make a hand crafted crib, and eventually drawers for the baby's belongings. They were very well crafted, but Johanna had been watching her dad when she grew up. Her dad was a carpenter, and without the Games, Johanna probably would have been the same thing. Her real skill was always turning the lumber into something beautiful.

Annie spent her time sewing together baby clothes and blankets, and the like. The two of them put all of their focus into preparing for this child, so that nothing else would really matter. Although Johanna did call Katniss every night, like she promised. After weeks passed, Katniss sounded like she was starting to recover from her trauma which made Johanna feel better, but her heart still hurt from being away for so long.

On one night though, it wasn't Katniss who answered the phone, but Peeta. Johanna was surprised, but talked to the boy about Katniss's progress and heard she was doing better and that Peeta was caring for her. She couldn't be mad that Katniss wasn't alone, but she was definitely jealous. She decided that it would be the last time she was going to call them, so that she could learn to try and be happy here, with Annie and with the baby, and eventually perhaps the two of them could learn how to move on.

* * *

When Kellen Odair was born, Johanna found herself taking up the role of the "panicking first time father", running through the streets to find someone who could help them.

Luckily, Kellen had been born without a problem. He was a healthy young baby, but seeing him brought tears to Johanna's eyes. He resembled Finnick in any way a newborn baby could. His golden locks, his sea-green eyes, his rosy cheeks... she felt like she was looking at Finnick again. Annie must have thought the same way, with the way she was looking wondrously at her baby boy. Johanna saw in her eyes, absolute and pure happiness.

Johanna had spent the past two weeks caring for Annie, while she cared for the newborn baby. Not once had Johanna even asked to hold Kellen. All she wanted to do was look at him, she was too afraid to hold him. Annie had yet to offer, but that was probably because she didn't want to let go of her son.

They sat in the nursery, while Johanna sat on the floor folding up some of Kellen's blankets, and Annie sat in the wooden rocking chair which Johanna had crafted for them, nursing the baby. They were silent, as they were the majority of the time they spent together. Johanna found that she couldn't hurt Annie's feelings if she didn't say anything to her, so that was probably best.

"I haven't had a nightmare in two weeks," Annie finally whispered, breaking the silence. Johanna looked up at her. "Ever since this little guy was born. You should have a baby, Johanna. It's incredible, the effect they'll have on you."

"I think I'm fine, Annie." Johanna laughed. The thought of her having a baby...

"I don't think so." Annie's bright eyes looked right into Johanna's. They seemed to know everything about her, and it made Johanna feel uneasy and out of control. "I'm grateful you chose to stay with me, but why did you do it?"

Johanna shrugged, "Finnick asked me to take care of you and so I am."

"Imagine the roles had been reversed," Annie said with a sigh, "Imagine you went off to fight and Finnick stayed behind. You asked him to protect Katniss if anything happend to you. Do you think Finnick would have completely left me? No. He would have kept his promise to you, but he wouldn't have written me off, forever."

"That's completely different Annie!" Johanna argued, but Annie shook her head, "Katniss and I were nothing like you and Finnick."

"I don't believe you." Annie muttered. "I never understood you, Johanna. I thought you were crazy and mean, then I thought you were kind and sweet. Now you're just hurting. I don't want that and Finnick wouldn't want that." Johanna opened her mouth to argue again, "Love is love, Johanna, no matter where or who it comes from."

Johanna closed her eyes and leaned her back against the wall. She didn't want to admit that Annie was right, but she definitely wasn't going to leave Annie here alone with Kellen. This was her family now, it was the life she chose and she was going to have to deal with the consequences of her choice.

"Do you want to hold Kellen?" Annie asked, holding the small boy out to her. Johanna's eyes got wide, scared almost. She was still afraid of holding the boy, so fragile, she didn't want to hurt him. "He wants his Auntie Jo to hold him."

Johanna smiled and rolled her eyes, but went to gingerly take the boy from Annie. A knock on the door stopped them, and Annie quickly pulled Kellen back to her, holding him close to her chest. "I'll go see who it is." Johanna whispered, giving Annie's hand a reassuring squeeze.

She didn't need to be afraid, but it was an odd hour of the night for someone to be visiting. Johanna trudged to the door, noting that her axe was within reach if she needed it. But when she opened the door, she quickly realized that there was absolutely no threat standing in the doorway. "Peeta?" Johanna couldn't believe what she was looking at.

The baker's boy leaned on the doorframe and smiled up at Johanna, "Hello, friend."


	35. Chapter 35

"Peeta what are you doing here?" Annie asked when he Johanna led him into the nursery.

Peeta had come with a duffel bag full of clothes, as if he'd planned to stay for a long time. Johanna couldn't help but wonder if something had happened between him and Katniss, and that's why he came here.

He set his bag down on the floor, "I was hoping you'd let me stay here for a little bit."

"Of course, Peeta. But why aren't you in Twelve?" Annie asked.

"Oh wow, what a beautiful baby," Peeta said, going over to Kellen. Johanna rolled her eyes. He was so good at changing the subject.

Annie fell for it, "I'm in love with him."

"Kellen, right?" Peeta asked and Annie nodded. "Can I hold him?"

"You want to see Uncle Peeta?" Annie asked Kellen. The baby, of course, didn't say anything, but she lifted him up for Peeta, who held him carefully, and rocked him back and forth. He started doing that baby talk to the little boy.

Johanna never did that. She thought it was ridiculous. She talked to Kellen liked she talked to people her age. Because of her, Kellen's first words would probably be "fuck", "ass", "shit" and "damn it". Annie would kill her.

"I have an extra room for you downstairs you can stay in." Annie said, "How long are you planning on staying?"

"As long as you want me here," Peeta said.

"And what did Katniss say about this?" Johanna finally spoke up, squinting her eyes. She didn't really like the idea of him leaving Katniss alone. Even if she wasn't with Johanna she'd rather Katniss wasn't alone.

Peeta sighed, "She doesn't know I'm here." It was clear, the pain that was on his face... something was going on.

"What happened Peeta?" Johanna asked, not in the mood for games.

"I think you know what happened." Peeta said dryly.

"What?"

"I think you always knew she didn't want to be with me, didn't you?" Peeta said, staring right at her now.

"No, I didn-"

"Don't lie to me, Johanna!"

Annie's gaze was going back and forth between the two, but Peeta seemed to be getting heated. Without a word, she took her baby back and sat down again, trying to keep him calm.

Peeta regained his composure, "Katniss isn't happy with me."

"She's just not happy right now, because of what happened you need to be patient with her." Johanna suggested. She couldn't admit the truth to Peeta, even if he knew it, she couldn't admit it after all he had done.

"No, she doesn't want me there but she's too nice to tell me that." Peeta really seemed to be depressed about this.

Johanna couldn't help but feel terrible for him, "She loves you too much Peeta."

"Not in the way I wanted her to. Not the way I loved her," He seemed on the verge of tears, and Johanna knew that Peeta had never been acting, all those times in front of the camera, not once had he been acting like Katniss had. "So I came here to take care of Annie and Kellen."

"It's okay Peeta, Johanna's taking care of us." Annie whispered.

"Johanna needs to go be with Katniss now, so if you'll let me I'd love to stay and help you out." Peeta said to her, kneeling down so she was at face level with her. He stroked her arm gently, and she smiled at him.

Johanna froze, staring at the two. Did Peeta really just say that? And so calmly? She knew she would've been pissed off if it was her.

Annie and Peeta were both looking up at her now. "You should get going now, you can make it to Twelve by morning." Peeta said.

She looked over at Annie who nodded, "Finnick would want you to go."

Johanna couldn't bring herself to move, although she nearly jumped when Peeta put his arms around her. She hadn't been expecting that at all. "It's okay Jo." He whispered to her.

Was it really okay, though?

* * *

Johanna didn't need to pack much. She didn't have much to take other than the two things she came with. She could get new clothes in Twelve, because she had just been borrowing Annie's.

So she was able to say goodbye and leave. Her goodbyes were long and heartfelt, because she had grown to care about Annie. Their relationship was very strange, but at the end of the day she could say that she loved Annie and even Kellen. They were her family. But the thing about this goodbye, was that there was no sense of doom for them. She could leave them, and still be able to see them again. She knew she would.

Saying goodbye to Peeta was weird. He had explained a little more to her about how he knew for a long time but didn't want to believe it. He said that Katniss would mutter Johanna's name in her sleep on the nights she didn't have nightmares, and how she was being distant with Peeta. He assured her that he would get over it, and maybe find himself a nice girl in District Four, but right now he and Johanna wanted the same thing, and that was for Katniss to be happy again. Peeta hadn't been able to do it, so now it was Johanna's turn, and she was grateful for him and for his ability to push her to do something she was too scared to do before.

The train ride felt longer than it was. Johanna was up the entire ride, trying to figure out what she might say to Katniss when they saw each other. It had been almost four months now, far too long... Was Katniss going to forgive her for stopping the phone calls and never visiting like she had promised.

So many thoughts were running through her mind as she was navigating her way through District Twelve. It was amazing, the progress they had made. The District had bounced back quickly, but that was what those people were good at. She was immediately interested in seeing what her home looked like now, if it still looked like home. But she reminded herself that home is where the heart is, and her heart definitely wasn't in District Seven right now.

She finally found Katniss's house, and made her way up the steps. After several minutes of standing there, she knocked on the door. But there was no answer. She looked inside and briefly saw Katniss walking past into another room. Just that one glance was enough to send butterflies through her stomach. It was an amazing feeling though.

Katniss clearly hadn't heard the knock on the door, so Johanna opened the door. She wasn't surprised that it was unlocked, she probably assumed Peeta was coming back to her and left it that way. Johanna let the door close loudly, hoping Katniss would hear it. She did.

"Peeta? Where were you last -"

Johanna froze as Katniss turned the corner and stared at her. Katniss was completely surprised, as well she should be.

"I'm sorry I'm not who you wanted to see." Johanna said, shrugging, "But it's nice to see you again."

Johanna couldn't read the look on Katniss's face, there were definitely mixed emotions there. But it only took seconds before Katniss closed the space between them and jumped into Johanna's arms. "You bitch, you stopped calling!" She complained, though her arms were wrapped around Johanna's neck.

"I'm sorry," was all she could manage to say. She pulled Katniss as close to her as possible, enjoying the warm embrace once more. She couldn't tell if Katniss was happy or mad right now.

"How long are you staying?" Katniss muttered, resting her head on Johanna's body.

"As long as you'd let me."

Katniss pulled away, "But you didn't bring anything!"

"I brought everything I've ever needed," Johanna smiled. She reached down to her pocket and pulled out the bundle of pine needles. Katniss smiled when she saw it.

Katniss was on the verge of tears, "I thought I wasn't going to see you again."

"You don't have to worry about that anymore," Johanna said, "I'm not going anywhere. Ever. I'm right here." She held Katniss's face in her hands, and held her gaze for a moment. Words started to spill out of her mouth all of the sudden, "I don't think I ever told you how beautiful you are. You are, by far, the most beautiful person I've ever seen."

Johanna pressed her lips to Katniss's forehead.

Katniss shrugged, "But I'm nothing compared to you."

"Don't ever say that!" Johanna retorted angrily. "You are perfect exactly the way you are." There was a long moment of silence with the two of them looking at each other, then at the ground, then back at each other. Finally, it was Johanna who broke the silence, though she spoke in a whisper, "I still love you, you know?"

"Still? Even after all this time?" Katniss didn't seem to believe it.

"I always have, and I always will..." Johanna admitted.

Katniss cracked a smile, "Well I love you too... brainless!"

Johanna made a noise, something between a laugh and a scoff, but it was cut short when she pulled Katniss into her and forcefully pressed her lips onto the other girls. That kiss she had craved so much, the feeling that she got... the beautiful burning sensation. It was all back in one fell swoop. And she didn't want to stop... she didn't have to.


	36. Chapter 36

"Have you been hunting before?" Katniss asked.

She joined Johanna at the table where she had been eating some breakfast that Katniss made for her. She knew Katniss had just gotten off the phone with Peeta, after she explained how he showed up at Annie's house late last night. Those words weren't exactly what she had expected Katniss to say straight after getting off the phone with Peeta, but she was probably trying to distract herself, and Johanna was okay with that, because she didn't feel like she ever knew the right words to say to Katniss.

"I actually haven't..." Johanna said after mulling the question over for a moment.

"Would you like to come with me today?"

"I'd love to!" Johanna nearly squealed. Good thing she didn't, even though she was feeling giddy. She was still amped up on the hype of getting to spend time with Katniss right now. Just being in her presence was something special.

Katniss seemed relieved that Johanna had said yes. But what else would she say? No? Of course not! Katniss stood up and leaned over to peck Johanna's lips. It left such a warm sensation inside of her, even something so small. The weird thing was, that sometimes even the smallest, shortest kisses seemed to be the most intimate ones.

She got up to go get her bow, and Johanna grabbed her axe. She knew she couldn't hunt with it, but she made it a habit to never wander off into the woods without it by her side. Maybe she could gather some firewood for the night while Katniss got some birds or something. She knew she was going to be useless, but she got to spend time with Katniss so she didn't care.

When they got out to the woods, Johanna was surprised how much it reminded her of home. It wasn't exactly the same, but Johanna could live with this. It was nice. They got to a beautiful lake, and Katniss told Johanna about how her dad used to take her to the same place, "Would you like to stay here for a little bit?" Katniss asked as Johanna walked to the edge of the lake, but not touching the water.

"And where are you going to be?" Johanna asked, turning to face Katniss.

She looked off into the distance, "Up that way a little bit. There should be deer... would make a nice meal for us."

Johanna didn't like the idea of splitting up at all, especially since they had only reunited a few hours earlier. But Johanna didn't want Katniss to know truly how much she had missed her, and she didn't want to be clingy. "Alright, should I gather some wood?"

Katniss nodded, and Johanna grabbed her arm and pulled her close, practically glaring at her, "Be safe." She grumbled, acting angrier than she really was, and then gave Katniss a goodbye kiss. Well, she didn't want to call it a goodbye kiss... more like a 'see you later' kiss. She watched as the other girl bounded out of sight. She wasn't sure exactly what she should do now.

She turned to a nearby stump, and envisioned a target on it. She threw her axe. It twirled through the air, nailing her target perfectly. She smirked to herself, proud that she hadn't lost her touch during her time in Four. It made her think of how they had asked her to be a mentor for the Capitol Hunger Games, the very last games they were going to hold... they had asked all of the Victors and of course she, and every other one of them had refused. She wasn't going to help them. Maybe it was the right thing to do, but Johanna didn't want to go through all of the emotional trauma of the Hunger Games. She'd had enough of that by now, hadn't she?

The Games were starting next week, when the twenty four tributes would be reaped from the pool of Capitol Official's children. There would be a lot of friends and family members fighting against each other. Perhaps these kids had never done anything wrong to deserve this, but neither had the countless number of kids who were reaped and killed in the seventy five other Hunger Games. She knew she was going to be tuning in, and not because she was forced to.

A loud, shrill scream snapped her out of her thoughts, and she whipped her head up towards the forest. It wasn't particularly far, but it wasn't incredibly close either.

"Katniss?!" Johanna started to yell. She recognized the scream, she'd heard it before when they shared a room in District Thirteen. She wouldn't ever forget that scream, because it was a sound that haunted her. "Katniss!" She called again, panic-stricken.

She darted into the woods, axe in hand. She had no idea where she was going, but she would run all day if she had to, in order to find Katniss. She kept calling her name out, but there was no other sound from Katniss. Johanna started to fear the worst, and perhaps something had happened to Katniss in the short time they were apart. Maybe she was hurt, and Johanna was the only one who could save her.

She remembered the direction in which Katniss said she was going, and ran that way, because it was her best bet.

After a good three minutes of pure sprinting, Johanna practically collapsed against a tree, out of breath and light headed. She closed her eyes, because the world started spinning around her. When she opened them again, she saw Katniss only a few feet away from her, huddled up and hiding her face in her knees.

She walked over, still too out of breath to speak. So she placed her hand on Katniss's shoulder.

The girl jumped, and reflexively punched Johanna in the jawline, knocking her backwards. Johanna rubbed her jaw... it was definitely going to bruise. She was pretty surprised that she didn't get knocked out from it, because her head definitely hurt even more than it did before now.

Katniss must have realized what she had done, because she was backing away in shock, her hands covering her mouth. Johanna groaned and got to her feet, even though she was a little wobbly now.

"I'm so sorry Johanna, I didn't... I don't know what happened." Katniss said through her hands.

"It's okay Katniss," Johanna said, reaching out for her, but she backed away still.

She moved away from Johanna as if she were afraid she was going to hurt her with one little touch, "It's not okay. It's not."

"Yes it is, it was an accident. Now come here," Johanna said, holding her arms out towards the girl. Katniss shook her head and backed up another step. Johanna only huffed at this. "Come here, NOW." She ordered. A few more seconds passed, but Katniss ended up running right back into Johanna's arms, squeezing her tight.

Johanna was just relieved that Katniss wasn't hurt, she stroked Katniss's back, "What happened? Are you alright? I heard you scream."

"It was nothing." Katniss muttered.

"It didn't sound like nothing."

"It was a bad memory." Katniss said.

Johanna nodded, though Katniss probably didn't know that because she was still tight in Johanna's embrace. And it felt good to be able to comfort Katniss like this, because Katniss would do the same for her. Maybe that's what they needed to do... they needed to take care of each other like this. They'd take turns having their bad days until there were no more bad days to be had. That was the hope.

"Let's get you home." Johanna finally said.

Katniss didn't like that, "I didn't get any animals!"

"We can get something tomorrow, I think we should go home now." She was talking very soothingly to Katniss, it wasn't a tone she was used to using, but being like this didn't make Johanna feel any less empowered than that time they were in the elevator together. This, at least, was nice.

Katniss finally agreed, and Johanna carried Katniss's bow, so that Katniss could keep her arms tight around Johanna's waist as they walked, and Johanna could sling her arm protectively over Katniss's shoulders.

"I'm sorry about punching you," Katniss said again.

"You know... it happens." Johanna shrugged, "And I think I deserve it."

Katniss made a sound that was almost like a laugh, if she could even manage one right now, "No you didn't. You've been nothing but sweet and loving. Which is strange because when we met I never thought that was something I'd say to you."

Johanna couldn't help but laugh at that. It was the truth, Johanna was actually turning into something of a softy, at least for Miss Everdeen. "Maybe I can be like that because I've had it bottled up inside of me for so long with nobody to give it to and now I have you... And if sometimes you punch me, then I guess I'm just going to have to deal with it, because being apart from you would hurt so much more than being punched in the face." Johanna almost frowned when she spoke, because she could feel herself changing a little bit back to her old self. Not that it was a bad thing... it was just strange.

Katniss lifted her head up and kissed Johanna on the jaw, where it was already starting to bruise. She winced, and it stung a little bit, but she was going to let it slide, because it was a nice gesture. "Feel better?" Katniss asked. Johanna could hear the hint of amusement in Katniss's voice, and she smiled.

"Just like magic!" She laughed.


	37. Chapter 37

"You're jaw is bruising..." Katniss mumbled, stroking Johanna's jaw.

Johanna winced at the touch, but still managed a laugh, "Yeah, well you have one hell of a right hook!"

The two were sitting on the couch by the fire, facing each other. While Johanna felt such a burning passion inside of her, she knew that there were some dark demons still living inside of each of them. There were fleeting memories of the ones she loved and lost as she looked at the one person she truly had left in the world. There was a somber feeling in the air, but Johanna couldn't help but feel that least bit of hope. Because, all wasn't lost. Not this time.

"I'm so sorry Jo." Katniss dropped her gaze.

Again, Johanna laughed, "You've apologized a million times Katniss. I don't care. Trust me, if I was mad you would have known!"

Johanna couldn't help but stare at Katniss, with how beautiful she looked. Especially with the light of the fire bouncing off of her skin right now. So maybe fire and wood did go well together, it created a beautiful warmth after all. Finally, she leaned forward and kissed Katniss, pushing her back down on the couch while Johanna stayed on top of her, their lips never leaving each other.

Everything was driving Johanna crazy right now, but the good kind of crazy. The pressure of her body against Katniss, her lips, the sound of her breathing, her beautiful eyes... all of it.

_Riiiiinnnnggg._

Johanna tried to ignored the annoying ring of the telephone, while her lips traced Katniss's jawline.

_Riiiiinnnnnggg._

Katniss groaned and pushed Johanna off of her, "It might be something important."

Johanna was pretty upset with whoever it was on the telephone, as Katniss got up to answer it. She sat up and grumpily folded her arms.

"Yeah she's here." Johanna heard Katniss say to whoever was on the phone. She perked up immediately. There would really only be one person who would need to contact her, and she started to worry about Annie.

But instead of handing the phone to Johanna, she placed it on the table, turning the speakerphone on, and sat down next to her. Katniss's hand found Johanna's, and they sat together, hands intertwined. "Alright we're both here." Katniss said.

"Okay good." Peeta's voice echoed into the large room.

Johanna's eyes squinted, "Peeta? Is everything alright? Is Annie okay?"

"Everybody's fine," Peeta assured her. Johanna breathed a sigh of relief. She wouldn't live with herself if something happened to Annie or Kellen because she had left, "I actually wanted to talk to you guys about something else. You know how the Capitol Games are coming up soon?"

"Yeah, what about them?" Katniss asked.

"Well, we all declined the mentoring job, but I thought a little bit about it..." Peeta sighed, "What if we did actually mentor them?"

"Are you out of your mind?" Johanna practically yelled.

"Look, I know it's crazy but hear me out! Please. Everybody else has already agreed to it, you're the last two that need to agree." Peeta explained, "We don't want to be like the Capitol, when they left us hanging all those years ago. We want a new, fresh start. A new age. Show them that we'll be there for them still. If we can find it in our hearts to mentor one last time, give a little bit of ourselves, make this a group affair rather then just watch the Capitol struggle, we can show them that we can all live together in peace, and that we want to."

The boy did have a point...

Johanna sighed, and looked over at Katniss who was taking it all in.

"So what do you guys say? For peace in Panem?" Peeta asked. He was fantastic at wording his phrases.

Katniss looked at Johanna, as if she weren't going to agree to it if Johanna didn't. Johanna nodded at Katniss, who responded, "Alright we're in."

"Johanna?"

"Yeah, I'll do it. For peace." Johanna huffed, still not too happy about it. But Peeta was right, as usual.

"Great!" Peeta said, "I'll tell President Paylor we've all agreed to it. But... there's one more thing. With all of the lights, publicity, happy Victors living freely under the new leader..."

"What is it, Peeta?" Katniss asked, groaning.

There was a pause on the other end. Then, "Everybody still expects us to be together, Katniss."

* * *

Johanna had gotten up and walked away when Peeta dropped the bomb that he and Katniss were going to have to play "lovers" one more time. It didn't actually sit well with her at all.

She heard Katniss scramble to end the conversation with Peeta, right before Johanna had stepped outside to get some fresh air.

It was cold at night in District Twelve, nothing Johanna wasn't used to, but she definitely wasn't dressed for it. It didn't matter, the sting of the cold air against her skin felt nice. She needed to cool down a little bit anyway. She sat on a stump facing the woods.

A shiver ran through her body when she felt Katniss's hands on her shoulders. It wasn't a cold shiver. Johanna leaned back, resting herself against Katniss's body.

"Johanna, there's nothing to be worried about." Katniss said softly.

"Oh, I'm not worried," Johanna rolled her eyes, "Just a little frustrated is all. Having to go back to the Capitol and mentor one last time is bad enough..."

Katniss wrapped her arms around Johanna's waist from the back, squatting down to her level while she sat. "I don't have to pretend to be in love with Peeta anymore. I want to tell them the truth." Katniss pressed her lips to Johanna's neck.

"You can't," Johanna sighed, "That's the frustrating part. Right now, the world _needs_ to see you and Peeta in love. That after the rebellion you two are living happily ever after. Once things die down, once the rebellion becomes old news, maybe then we can be honest."

"Are you sure? Are you going to be okay?" Katniss asked.

"I'll be fine, I promise." Johanna barely finished saying that when Katniss pulled her head around to kiss her. It was with such force that Johanna couldn't actually hold herself up on the stump anymore, and she fell backwards, taking Katniss with her.

They lay there laughing to themselves, until Katniss pecked Johanna's lips again and stood up, helping Johanna to her feet. "Oh shoot. You're all muddy now." Katniss tried to wipe some of it off.

"It's alright." Johanna said, stealing another quick kiss.

"We just need to get you washed up, and you'll be good."

Johanna froze when Katniss said that. She knew she was talking about a bath or a shower. When Johanna was in District Four, she barely stepped foot outside for fear of high tide rolling in and the water touching her. She couldn't do that. She couldn't do what Katniss wanted her to. Katniss recognized the look on Johanna's face. She could see the wheels turning in the other girl's head.

* * *

"You can't make me get in there." Johanna said flatly.

She stood in front of the tub, which was filling up with warm water. Her arms were crossed protectively over her chest. Katniss was not going to win this one. There was absolutely no way Johanna was getting in there.

"You need to take a bath." Katniss stated frankly.

"I don't, there's other ways to stay clean." Johanna argued.

Katniss turned and faced her, arms folded. Neither of the girls wanted to cave, "Look I understand why you don't want to get in, but it's just water. It isn't going to hurt you, alright?"

Johanna shook her head, "No."

"Johanna take off your clothes." Katniss ordered. In any other context, Johanna would have obliged. Not in this one.

"No."

"Johanna take off-"

"I'm not doing it so stop asking Katniss!" Johanna started to yell. Was it really worth it to start an argument with Katniss over all of this?"

Katniss snapped back, "I'm not asking, Johanna!" She knew Katniss had her best interest at heart right now, and that she was trying to show her tough love. It was what she needed. But she didn't want to get in the water. She didn't want any flashbacks. Not now, not while she was starting to be so happy.

Johanna still shook her head.

Katniss groaned, and before Johanna knew what was happening, Katniss took her shirt off.

"Katniss what are you doing?" Johanna asked, eyes wide. But she couldn't seem to pull her eyes away as the other girl undressed.

"I'm going to show you that it's not going to hurt you to take a bath." She said, taking the rest of her clothes off.

Johanna felt like maybe she should've averted her eyes, but she couldn't. Katniss was beautiful and she couldn't look away. She watched as she climbed into the bath tub, soaking her entire body, and resurfaced. "See?" Katniss smiled up at her, "I'm fine!"

"I know," Johanna said, and unfolded her arms, "It's not exactly the water I'm afraid of. It's the memories, more-so."

"The memories?" Katniss asked.

"The flashbacks of the... torture." Johanna had a hard time saying it, "I know the water won't hurt me, but I can't help but remember what happened every time water touches my skin."

Katniss let that soak in for a moment. "Well you could've said that before I stripped down and got into the tub."

"Yeah, but then you wouldn't have stripped down," Johanna smirked.

Even Katniss laughed at that, "So am I just going to sit in here alone or..."

Johanna bit her lip. Now she had a little bit of a dilemma... She didn't want to cave in, and let Katniss get the upper hand here. That just wasn't her personality. But then again, Katniss had a really good reason to have the upper hand in this situation. Johanna bit down on her lip, thinking about it all for a moment longer.

Finally, she sighed and rolled her eyes as if it were too much of a chore, but she ended up joining Katniss anyway.  
At least if she got the flashbacks, she could open her eyes and realized that everything was alright, Katniss was right there. With her.


	38. Chapter 38

This was going to be a wild event.

Finally, the arena had been made, the tributes had been reaped, and the world was ready to watch... prepared to get their revenge on the Capitol citizens for the years of torture they had been put through. For once, it would be the Districts that would be entertained.

But there was a somber mood between the seven remaining Victors who all sat together while they waited to meet the tributes they were going to mentor. All of these tributes were children or relatives of the highest standing Capitol officials. Rather than killing these officials and everybody else in the Captiol, they would just suffer by watching their pampered children try and brave the arena themselves.

Since there were only seven Victors, each of them would mentor at least three tributes. Haymitch, Beetee, and Enobaria, as the most experienced mentors, would mentor a fourth. But with the talk on the train, none of these Victors really planned on assisting these kids all that much. The bitterness was too high among them. They were here for the cameras, for show... to show Panem that they could coexist together and that the future would be bright for them.

Ceasar Flickerman, who miraculously survived the rebellion, was made to host these final Games as well. Right now, Johanna sat in the room with the other Victors, now mentors, watching him on the television screen as he was about to announce who was going to mentor which tributes.

There were no cameras right now, so Katniss was sitting with her body propped up against Johanna's. Unlike when they all got off the train, though the Capitol citizens were less enthusiastic this time around, they and rebels alike took well to the sight of Peeta and Katniss hand in hand.

Katniss had argued with Johanna about it every day leading up to their departure to the Capitol. Johanna didn't like the idea herself, but she understood that right _now_ this is what people needed to see. That Katniss started the rebellion because of her love for Peeta, she couldn't let him die. In a time of such heightened paranoia, if people found out it was all a lie... they could risk people worrying about what more was a lie. Unlike these Victors, who knew the depth of such darnkess, the others were used to seeing the light. They could only handle seeing the light, they needed to and Johanna understood this. So no, she didn't like it at all, watching Katniss and Peeta playing out their little love story once more. But until the paranoia died down, Johanna would have no choice but to be okay with it.

She had asked Haymitch if she had done the right thing by agreeing to it. She hoped he would say no, and that it didn't matter, but that wasn't the answer she had gotten.

Behind closed doors, away from the cameras and the audiences, Johanna and Katniss didn't leave each other's side. Their relationship was feeling a little strained, with everything going on, but Johanna was holding on. She knew the nightmares would flood back, being thrown into this environment, but they promised to take care of eachother, through the good and the bad. Johanna wouldn't have it any other way now.

_"And, since this is a special Hunger Games, the rules are a little different. Our remaining Victors have graciously offered their help to our tributes this year. Let's find out who is mentoring who."_Ceasar's voice trilled on the screen.

"Are they really going to make us go in front of the cameras tomorrow?" Annie asked, looking a little nervous. She had Kellen with her, she wasn't going to leave him with anything else.

"Yes," Beetee said, "They want us to talk about how happy our lives are now that we have freedom." Katniss and Johanna exchanged a quick glance. Johanna looked up and saw Peeta staring at them. He averted his gaze when it met hers.

_"Haymitch won the second Quarter Quell, evading most of the other tributes, but proving to be strong and quick, using wit to win the Games in the end."_ Johanna looked over at Haymitch, who's face remained expressionless. She hadn't know that they were going to recap their victories, she wasn't prepared for that. She mindlessly started running her fingers through Katniss's hair, focusing only on the girl while they listed off the names of tributes that Haymitch, Beetee, and Enobaria would mentor. Ceasar explained that it was a random selection, but Johanna wasn't convinced yet.

_"The rest of our mentors will only have three tributes,"_ Ceasar explained, _"Annie Cresta won the 70th Hunger Games by out-swimming her competition when the arena flooded. She has survived the Games and the war, but this will be her first year as a mentor._" Johanna couldn't help but look over at Annie at this point, clutching Kellen close to her chest as they read off the names of the children who's lives would be in her hands. Johanna felt this was a little unfair, especially for Annie who might not be able to handle this. She had just started to get better, letting Kellen heal her. But she still had her moments where her mind drifted off into another place.

_"Johanna Mason was one of the more brash Victors, but still one of the most skilled, winning the 71st Games by pretending to be weak until almost everybody else was dead, single-handedly wiping out the final six where she was crowned the winner._" Johanna felt the memories rush into her head, the faces of the people she had killed, something she couldn't forget, but had managed to push to the back of her mind. _"She will be mentoring Marcus, the son of the Peace Keeper distributor._" Johanna smirked at that. This was definitely on purpose. She had met this man once before, when she was in jail the night before the reaping of the Quarter Quell. _"Her second tribute is, one of my favorites that we've seen, Lucia, the very skilled daughter of the Head District Trade Regulator._" The Head District Trade Regulator had been in charge of deciding how much supplies went to each district and the Capitol. Of course the people were mad at him, sending a lack of supplies to the Districts and sending an over abundance to the Capitol. Johanna had seen the girl on reaping day, happy to get picked. She was going to fight like a Career. _"And last but not least for Johanna, one of the most memorable tributes here. You know her as the sweetheart of the_ Capitol..." Johanna leaned forward. There was no way... they weren't going to do this?_ "Rosaline Snow."_

There were audible gasps from everybody in the room, except for Johanna. Out of all the Victors _she_ had been given the granddaughter of President Snow. Why not the Mockingjay? That would have made the most sense. She knew that's what everybody else was thinking.

Then she saw the picture of Rosaline on the screen, and she knew exactly why. Her face had striking similarities to Prim, Katniss might've favored her, as well as Peeta for Katniss's sake. She was a sweet talker and exuded innocence wherever she went, making it so that the mentors might pity her and help her win. No. The rebels wanted her dead, and they must've figured that Johanna was the most heartless and ruthless of the remaining Victors. She had, after all, threatened to kill Snow's family on live television.

Ceasar immediately went into talking about Katniss and Peeta and their tragic love affair, which Johanna tuned out. Katniss didn't want to hear this either, focusing instead on tracing her fingers along Johanna's arm until they named the tributes each of them were going to mentor. The twin boys of the head of Security and the daughter of the treasurer went to Peeta, while the son of head of Warfare and the daughter and neice of the Capitol Secretary went to Katniss.

Then, the show was over. It was time for them to meet their tributes.

* * *

Johanna walked up to the Capitol room alone. Again, she'd have her own floor with her tributes, but it didn't sit well with her knowing that Katniss and Peeta were allowed to share a room. But she'd allow herself to be distracted by these Games, with the promise that it was the last time she was ever going to have to go through this. At least she shared no connection to these people, so if they were to die, there was no love lost.

That's why the gave Rosaline to her, because while the others said they wouldn't care... Johanna actually meant it.

She exited the elevator, storming out and over to the room. She was a little taken aback by the three faces sitting at the table and staring up at her when she sauntered in. She knew they were going to be there, but she didn't expect them to see her in such a pissed off mood right now.

Oh well. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Lucia was the first one up and over to Johanna, holding her hand out. Johanna's eyes squinted, but she still shook it. Lucia was beaming, "Johanna I am so excited to be on your team!"

"Woah woah!" Johanna stopped the girl, "We are not a team. Okay, let me make this very clear we are NOT a team." She glared at all three of them.

"Right," Lucia said, slinking back a bit, "But you've always been my favorite! Sorry about what Snow did to your loved ones, that was awful."

Johanna wanted to smile, but she didn't want to give this girl the satisfaction of knowing Johanna was accepting her. She was digging in right now, trying to evoke emotion from Johanna, and turning her back on Rosaline, who could clearly hear everything. The girl had guts, and she had brains.

Marcus was next, "Definitely a pleasure. Can't wait to get started!" He said, smiling as if he were trying to be charming. It didn't work.

Johanna groaned, "Why are you all so excited for this? At least two of you are going to die, you can't all win... and let's be frank. All three of you are probably going to die." She snapped at them, shutting them all up.

"I never said I was excited," A small voice piped up from the table. Rosaline was still sitting, her eyes never looking up from her lap. Johanna might have pitied her, but she couldn't and she wouldn't. There was silence in the room.

"So," Lucia said, "Are you going to give us any tips?"

"No." Johanna said, turning and walking away. Maybe later she would actually help them out a bit, but she didn't want to grow attached to any of them. It would remind her of how unfair these Games really were.

Her bedroom was isolated from everyone else, which was nice. Hopefully they wouldn't try and bother her. Just in case, she decided to lock the door. She wasn't used to Capitol children, so they might think it was acceptable to join her in her room while she was sleeping, or something creepy like that.

She almost jumped, spotting the figure sitting on her bed. But a wicked smile immediately took over.

"Katniss..." she whispered, "What are you doing here?"

"I snuck in, of course." Katniss laughed quietly, grabbing Johanna's arm and pulling her down to the bed. Johanna was reluctant. She was drained, physically and emotionally right now. But a kiss from Katniss made it all better. "What? Did you think I was going to stay the night with Peeta?"

"Yes, actually I did." Johanna muttered as she made herself comfortable on the bed.

Katniss cuddled up against her, like they had always done. Which was nice, because Johanna hadn't been sure she was capable of sleeping anymore in any other way. "Peeta went to stay with Annie."

"Please tell me they aren't a thing. I'm not okay with that," Johanna stated harshly.

"No," Katniss laughed, "Peeta says they're only friends, he just doesn't trust leaving Annie and Kellen alone in a room with some Capitol kids. These kids are nuts!"

"I know!" Johanna laughed as well, "I don't think they understand the gravity of their situation yet." They stayed in silence for a moment, and Johanna's hand started to stroke Katniss's hair, "Are you doing alright?"

"Yeah, you?" Katniss asked.

"Well I am for now. But I'm not looking forward to tomorrow..." Johanna trailed off. Both knew she was talking about their camera time they were going to have tomorrow. "I don't even know what I'm going to talk about. Without you... my life is nothing. How am I supposed to pretend to be happy without you?"

"It's not too late Jo," Katniss spoke soothingly, "We can still be honest."

Johanna shook her head, "I'll be fine, if not just a little bit jealous."

"There's nothing for you to be jealous of." Katniss kissed Johanna once, softly, then again with more force and again until sleep took over.

But Johanna couldn't sleep anymore. She just lay in bed with Katniss curled up around her. The sound of her breathing was so soothing. Even though they were in the Capitol, a place where only bad memories existed, Johanna knew she was going to be alright. Because the worst of the storm had passed and they had survived. Together.


	39. Chapter 39

Some things never changed.

It was like being a tribute all over again. At least that's what Johanna felt like as she was sitting with Annie in the backstage room as Ceasar's theme song rang out on the television. He was introducing himself to the audience, comprised mostly of people who had traveled in from the Districts... because they could now. There were some Capitol citizens, trying to retain some sense of reality and normality that they had all but lost at this point. It was an interesting mix.

"Annie, your turn." The stylist said, popping his head into the room. They were all getting ready for their time in front of the camera, to talk about how great their lives had been since the ending of Snow's reign, and how this new peace was exactly what Panem needed. They were going to talk in order of their Victory: Haymitch, Beetee, Enobaria, Annie, Johanna, then Katniss and Peeta together.

Haymitch was just now strolling onto the screen. Annie stood up to join the stylist, but he told her that she needed to put the baby down. Annie started to panic... a mental breakdown was coming on.

Johanna was on her feet quickly and at Annie's side. She took Kellen from her arms, "It's alright I'll watch him until you're ready, okay?" Annie didn't want to let go of Kellen, but she gave him up, and let Johanna take him before joining the stylist.

She stood there with the baby in her arms, already much bigger than the last time she had seen him... and she realized that it was her first time ever holding the boy. The last little bit of Finnick left in the world, was right here in her arms. She wasn't good with babies, so she really didn't know what to do or say. "Hi Kellen." She finally spoke, "How's it going?" She rolled her eyes, of course he wouldn't answer. But at least he wasn't crying.

She started softly bouncing him up and down in her arms, and he started laughing. It was kind of cute. Especially the way his eyes lit up like Finnick's did, back when Johanna would crack jokes during the Hunger Games. He had been the only light she had during that experience, and holding Kellen just reminded her of how much she missed him right now. But she was smiling at his laughter, and started making faces at him, causing the little boy to go into a full fledged fit of giggles. He started swatting at her face, and now she too was laughing at him.

"Well isn't this something?"

Johanna whipped her head around to see Katniss standing in the doorway. But she was smiling. She walked in, and Peeta followed right behind her.

"Glad you guys could finally show up," Johanna said, "They just pulled Annie in to get her ready."

"It's kind of weird to see Haymitch on camera, smiling and all." Peeta said, eyes glued to the screen. Katniss was sitting next to him, but her eyes were on Johanna and the baby she was holding. She was still smiling, and it only grew wider when Johanna glared at her for that.

"We're all happier now, aren't we?" Johanna asked. Peeta only shrugged in response. She turned her focus to the television, where Haymitch was talking about how quickly District Twelve had bounced back, and how they were rebuilding and how he was proud of how resilient they were. Then Ceasar said his goodbyes and introduced Beetee onto the stage.

Annie walked back into the room, in a beautiful blue dress. Her hair and makeup were done beautifully, and she hadn't looked this well-maintained since her wedding, but she looked lovely.

Johanna smiled at her, "You look beautiful, Annie."

"Thank you," she whispered. Something must have happened because there was a deep sadness about her right now. She took Kellen from Johanna before she had a chance to ask questions, and was escorted out of the room to another part of the backstage area.

The stylist popped his head in again, "Johanna, we're ready for you."

"I'll see you guys in a few." Johanna said, waving a somewhat annoyed wave towards Katniss and Peeta.

* * *

"All the way from District Seven, please put your hands together for Johanna Mason!"

The crowd was cheering loudly for her, as she sauntered out in her deep green dress. She was smiling at them, but it was her old "killer" smile. She didn't feel like correcting Ceasar and telling him that she actually hadn't come from District Seven.

Annie was going to be a tough act to follow. She had brought Kellen on stage, who seemed to soak in the limelight... like father like son. Her heartbreaking story ended with a happy outlook as she spoke about how Finnick would never be forgotten and lived on through her love and through her son's life.

Johanna still didn't know what she was going to talk about as she sat across from Ceasar.

"So, Johanna, should I be prepared for some yelling from you tonight?" Ceasar asked, the audience started laughing.

"Only if you give me a reason to!" Johanna smirked. More laughter.

"Alright, fair enough! Why don't we talk about your tributes." Ceasar said, "You are mentoring Marcus, Lucia, and Rosaline... anything special we should expect from them?"

"No." Johanna scoffed, "They're Capitol bred, they don't know the first thing about survival. It'll be a circus in there." Some people laughed at this... clearly only the ones from the Districts, thinking about these pampered children trying to fight. But Johanna was right, they were all going to look like fools in there.

"I see," Ceasar nodded. She could see the wheels turning in his head, trying to start up a new conversation, as he leaned closer to Johanna, "There's something different about you. I can't pin it... you're almost... glowing! You seem, happier. Are you happy Johanna?"

"Yes," Johanna answered without hesitation.

"That's great! And what's different?"

"Well, everything. I can wake up in the morning and not have to be afraid of anything. I feel like I have some control of my life again." Johanna said, in complete honesty. She wanted to talk about how ecstatic she was every morning when she woke up and saw Katniss lying right beside her. What it felt like resting her head on the other girl's chest and hearing her heart beat, reminding her that they were alive and still had so much life to live. But she couldn't.

Johanna's interview ended well. She conveyed the idea that even a girl who had everything and everyone she had ever cared about ripped away from her, could still find a way to be happy with this new life. And she did so without ever talking about Katniss, so she was proud of herself.

She walked off stage, spotting Katniss being comforted by Haymitch. She was panicking over something.

"What's going on?" Johanna asked, walking up to them. Katniss immediately thrust herself into Johanna, who held her tight. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, I just had some flashbacks." Katniss was almost completely calm, as Johanna ran her hands up and down Katniss's back in a soothing gesture.

"It's okay, I know what it's like, it's all going to be fine." She whispered. Katniss pulled away from her, wiping her eyes. "You look beautiful," Johanna told her.

Katniss smiled, "So do you. You know... green is my favorite color."

"I know." Johanna smirked. She kissed Katniss on the forehead, "Go knock them dead."

Katniss pulled Johanna's face to her own, stealing a kiss. When Johanna looked up she saw Peeta standing there now, arms behind his back, waiting patiently for Katniss. Johanna averted her gaze, she couldn't look at him right now.

"Ready to go, Katniss?" He asked, holding his hand out to her. She nodded and took it, as Peeta led her out to all of their adoring fans cheering them on loudly.

Johanna followed Haymitch backstage with everybody else, sitting in the room and watching the television.

"You did great Jo!" Annie said, beaming, when she strode in.

"Not quite like you though." Johanna smiled at her.

She sat down to watch the "star crossed lovers from District Twelve" during their interview. Ceasar opened up asking them about their tributes. As usual, Peeta was doing most of the talking, though Katniss got in a few words here and there.

_"So tell me, Peeta..."_ Ceasar spoke on the television, _"How are things with the two of you now?"_

Peeta smiled, "We're great. I think I can speak for both of us when I say that life is good now."

_ "Now that there's no more threat of getting whisked away to the Games, so will we see a wedding soon?"_ The audience cheered when Ceasar brought that up. Johanna rolled her eyes, but Haymitch put a comforting hand on her shoulder to remind her that a wedding wouldn't happen.

_"I'm sure Katniss and I will get married someday."_ Peeta said, but he paused, sighing. It was clear that his thoughts were trailing off somewhere else, he was looking down at the ground when he spoke...

_"Just probably not to each other."_


	40. Chapter 40

The entire audience gasped and shrieked. The television was echoing with boos of protest.

The room fell silent and even Johanna was speechless. They had not been expecting this to happen. Peeta was supposed to stick to the plan... the plan that _he_ came up with. Johanna felt herself getting upset. She stood up and took a couple steps, only to feel Haymitch's firm grasp on her arm pulling her backwards.

"What are you going to do Johanna?" Haymitch raised an eyebrow, "Go out there? Storm onto the stage and try and force Peeta to take it all back or something? There's nothing you can do."

"But, what the hell is he doing?" Johanna growled. Even Katniss was staring at Peeta, her mouth agape. "Why is he always dropping the bombs like this?"

"To be honest I shouldn't be surprised," Haymitch mumbled under his breath, "He's only done this... every single time.

_"Please guys, let me explain. Hear me out!"_ Peeta spoke to the angry crowd. He grabbed both of Katniss's hands in his own and faced her, _"I love you Katniss, I always will. I know you loved me once, and in the past, probably a lot more than you do now. But along the way I lost you to someone else, and I'm okay with that because I see how happy you two are together, and how in love you are. That's all I ever wanted for you."  
_

"He's going to mess up this entire thing! The rebellion fought, all based on a lie!" Johanna shouldn't be so upset right now but she was fuming.

"Easy." Haymitch muttered.

_"Katniss, what do you have to say about this?"_ Ceasar turned the microphone to her.

She was still recovering from the shock, unsure of the right thing to do or say, _"I just... I love Peeta. And I wouldn't change anything. I can't imagine life without him. I'm grateful for all he's given me, and I know we'll be friends for life."_

Johanna couldn't believe this. Now Katniss was going along with that too? Sure it was the truth, but that wasn't the way it was supposed to be.

"He's trying to put a stop to these Games." Beetee spoke up. Everyone looked over at him, "That's why he's doing this."

Peeta and Katniss were finishing up their conversation with Ceasar on screen.

"If the Capitol didn't stop the Quarter Quell, I doubt the rebels will budge on this one." Johanna scowled.

"But it was Coin's idea, to do these Games. Since Coin is dead they might reconsider. President Paylor is a level-headed person." Haymitch suggested. Johanna knew it was selfish of her, but she wanted to see these people suffer, she didn't care how mean it made her seem. For all the suffering they put her through, couldn't they suffer for once too?

"I don't think they'll cancel it." Johanna shrugged.

"The Games?" Peeta said walking in. Everyone turned to him, and Katniss who stayed right behind him. Johanna couldn't help but notice that they were still holding hands. "I don't think it's fair. These kids didn't do anything wrong."

That was enough for Johanna. She snapped.

"I didn't do anything wrong either Peeta! And I still got reaped. I still had to kill people. Hundreds and hundreds of us still had to die. How about Prim or Finnick?" Johanna turned to both Katniss and Annie when she said the names of their lost loved ones, "What did they do wrong? Nothing. And now they're dead. What about you? And Katniss? What did you two do wrong? Or Annie, or Haymitch, or Beetee... or how about Thresh and Rue, or Jaxon and Corin? None of us did anything wrong, and they still went along with the Games then!" Johanna yelled to the entire group.

"So we fight fire with fire?" Peeta argued, maintaining most of his composure.

"The rebels are mad, Peeta, what do you propose we do?" Johanna glared at him.

He was still holding hands with Katniss as he faced Johanna. Maybe he didn't notice? "We be the better people, why can't we do that?"

"He's got a point, Jo." Katniss added.

Johanna's face was bright red with anger. She just glared at Katniss, shook her head, and stormed out of the room.

* * *

"Johanna!" Lucia was the first one to greet her when she got back to her room, "You looked great during the interview. Harsh as usual but I loved it. I hope you didn't mean it, the part about it being a circus because I think you are underestimating me -"

"Do you ever shut up?" Johanna practically yelled at the girl, who recoiled.

Marcus and Rosaline were sitting on the couch. As far apart from each other as they could. It was clear that neither Marcus or Lucia wanted to associate themselves with Rosaline. They knew she was a walking ghost. They, at least, had a shot.

"Aren't you going to ask us how the training went today?" Marcus asked.

Johanna rolled her eyes and stopped in front of the television, "Fine, how was your training?"

"I learned how to use a spear, and now I can nail a moving target easily." Marcus beamed.

"That's great." Johanna said, lacking enthusiasm.

"I got some axe training today. I told them I wanted to be like my hero," Lucia spoke. Johanna rolled her eyes. This girl really needed to stop sucking up, it was getting thoroughly annoying. "I'm not as good as you yet, but I was hoping you could teach me a few things."

"Sweetheart," Johanna glared at her, a false sweetness to the tone of her voice, "I grew up with an axe by my side. I was chopping wood since I was five, and my dad taught me how to throw it when I was seven and I practiced ever since. I can't teach you something that took me years, in just a couple of days. So get over yourself."

"Is everything alright Johanna?" Rosaline finally spoke up, sitting still and quiet all alone.

Johanna started blankly at her, "I'm great. Now what about you. Anything special?"

Rosaline shrugged, "Not really. I learned how to tie a few knots and set a few traps."

"That's lovely." Johanna said and then started to walk away towards her room, hoping it was done.

There was a soft patter of feet behind her, and a small hand tugged on her dress. Johanna turned around to face Rosaline, "I know you don't want me to win Johanna. But I just wanted you to know that I'm ready to die. I don't have anybody to go home to. They're all dead. All my families, friends... I guess that makes me a lot like you." The little girl said, "My Grandpa took everyone you love away from you... your friends did the same to me." She shrugged and walked away.

If Rosaline's goal was to evoke emotion from Johanna's sorry excuse for a heart... then mission accomplished.

* * *

Peeta had argued hard to get these Games cancelled. Johanna knew that was the real reason all of them had been dragged to the Capitol. But Paylor said she was going to uphold Coin's dying wish, and to settle the anger in the Districts, rather than annihilate the entire population of the Capitol. They were going to have to pay somehow. It was harsh, but Johanna agreed with it. She had voted for it in the first place. Whenever she felt bad about it, she thought of Finnick.

They were all in the Control Room now, all the mentors. Katniss was standing with Peeta, who's side she hadn't left since the night of the interviews. Which meant that Johanna really hadn't talked to her since storming out on her. She wasn't entirely sure why Katniss was keeping her distance. Maybe it was because Peeta dropped the bomb that she loved someone else, and she didn't want to be seen around Johanna too much. Or maybe it was because Johanna had found a way to blow it with her. That would make more sense, she just wasn't sure what she had done. She had spent her down time ripping her hair out, trying to figure out where she had gone wrong with Katniss and if she could fix it. It was driving her crazy.

_"Let the Capitol Hunger Games... Begin!"_ The voice rang out into the Control Room. The tributes were all on their pedestals, looking out to the Cornucopia. The countdown had begun. Johanna noted that there was still a lot of cheering from the Capitol Square. This left a funny taste in her mouth. It was the District citizens who were cheering like bloodthirsty animals now. _As long as it isn't their children, they'll watch these Games, _Johanna thought in disgust.

At least this was the last time this was ever going to happen. She could try and forget about it after this.

The gong went off, and the tributes sprinted towards the Cornucopia. Rosaline darted in, grabbed a bag, and sprinted out to the woods. She was safe, for now. Marcus went straight for the spears, getting his hands on one, and managed to stab another boy in the chest. Lucia went for the axe, grabbing it, and slicing someone's stomach open. Other than that, everyone else was fumbling around, trying to find something, or getting into petty little fights. It was kind of ridiculous. Three days of training wasn't going to change the years of the pampered lifestyle these kids were used to.

At the end of the bloodbath, ten tributes had died. Johanna had all of her tributes, Enobaria had all of hers, and Annie and Katniss were out. Everybody else had lost at least one tribute.

"Well I'm glad that's over." Katniss muttered as she walked up to Johanna, "Good thing the Quarter Quell happened, I would have made a crappy mentor."

"Is it a good thing, Katniss?" Johanna glared at her.

"Well... yeah. Or else we wouldn't have met." Katniss answered.

Johanna shook her head, "Of course we would have met. I was a mentor and Finnick was always by my side, maybe you could have joined us."

"Then I would have ended up marrying Peeta." Katniss retorted.

"What a shame that would have been." Johanna shrugged, her eyes were on the screen though. She was looking at Rosaline, who had climbed a tree and hidden herself there. It was pretty impressive, the fact that she managed to get into the tree in the first place. But what Johanna noticed was that Rosaline was all alone. Marcus and Lucia teamed up. The twins on Peeta's team were obviously working together... everyone else was working with their teammate, but Rosaline was the odd man out. She was all alone.

"Johanna why are you acting like this?" Katniss asked, but Johanna pushed her out of the way and walked to the screen.

Something was taking over right now, and it was powerful. Was it compassion? She wasn't sure, she didn't get this feeling very often. The rebels were going to hang her for this, but Johanna didn't really care. She was kind of depressed, which was why she was pushing Katniss away right now. She was good at that, ruining her life when something was turning out well.

"Johanna. Can you answer me please?" Katniss took Johanna's hand. There was a sadness in her eyes. She didn't like the way Johanna was acting... neither did Johanna.

"I don't know Katniss, but I'm kind of busy." Johanna shook her hand free and stormed over to the sponsor table.

She noticed that she had some money to spare on Rosaline. Many of the Capitol Citizens had bet on the most well known tribute, but none of the rebels did. What a surprise. She used a small portion of money and bought a bowl of warm soup for the girl, typing up a letter, and sending it in.

She walked back over to the screen as she watched Rosaline's face light up with the sight of the parachute. She opened it and read the note Johanna left. She could see tears starting to line the little girl's eyes.

_You're not alone. -Johanna_

She gave that message to Rosaline, because nobody deserved to be alone. She knew what it meant to have a friend in a time of need, even if Rosaline was going to die, Johanna would be right there for her.

As if right on cue, she felt Katniss's hand slip into her own, and the girl's head lean against her shoulder, as the pair watched the screen. Johanna turned her face and kissed Katniss on the head. "I still love you," Johanna whispered.

She couldn't see Katniss, but she knew that the other girl was smiling, "I love you too Johanna."


	41. Chapter 41

Rosaline Snow turned out to be a lot more resourceful than anybody had anticipated.

While all of the other Capitol children were learning how to fight, Rosaline was learning how to survive. She knew what was edible and what wasn't, and that knowledge saved her life where it had taken the life of another tribute. She could climb, she could tie knots, set traps, and she could keep herself hidden and out of danger. Not only that, but she had managed to poison the entire water supply in the arena. So if a tribute drank the water, they would die. Marcus and Lucia both died from that. Some of the other tributes realized that the water was bad now, so it was only a matter of time before they got too dehydrated to continue, unless their mentors gave them some water. None had done that yet.

Johanna was contemplating sending some to Rosaline. She knew that was what the girl was expecting. But she wasn't stupid. No, she had filled up her bottle with the water before she poisoned it, and had the last few clean drops of water in the entire arena. If the mentors truly cared about their tributes, they would have sent water to them a long time ago.

Peeta did care about his last remaining tribute, though. He was up all day and night struggling to keep the boy alive. He sympathized with him once his twin brother was killed. Now he just needed to come up with a way to get sponsor money for him, because he didn't have any. But Peeta was the only one to have any sort of emotional attachment to their tribute.

Well, except for Johanna, and she knew that some people were starting to figure it out. Only she and Rosaline knew what was on that note, nobody else had seen it. Johanna wasn't sure if she wanted to let the girl die or not. It would be dangerous, keeping a relative of Snow alive like that. Where would she even go. Her life would be better off if she were to die in the arena, Johanna had felt like that so many times when it came to her own life, but Rosaline was fighting against all odds.

And now she was in the final five.

"You're gonna make yourself sick, Johanna." Katniss said from behind her. She wrapper her arms around Johnna's shoulders and hugged her from the back. "You need to get some sleep, you haven't slept at all."

"I can't." Johanna muttered, even though she was incredibly tired, "If I leave they'll kill her."

"Isn't that what everybody wants?" Katniss asked.

Johanna shrugged, burying her face in her hands. She didn't know exactly what she wanted yet, "I can sleep when it's over."

"What are you trying to do Jo?" Katniss sighed. She was right, Johanna was going to end up killing herself, because she hadn't actually slept in a couple days now. Every now and then she would start to shake from the lack of sleep, so Katniss had every right to be worried. But the real question was, why was Johanna so concerned about Rosaline? She didn't know the answer to that, or how she had gotten this attachment in the first place. The plan was for her to die, and now if Rosaline were to win the Games, not only would it send out a message of hope to the Capitol citizens, but Johanna would be sent to the firing squad for allowing it to happen.

Frankly, she didn't care.

Something deep inside of her knew this was the right thing, that saving Rosaline was what needed to be done. She didn't know why yet, but she could only hope that it would all work out again in the end.

"You see that guy over there?" Johanna pointed to the far corner where a guy was awkwardly standing, clearly focusing only on Johanna, "He's been there all day. Before him, there were a couple more, they keep switching places and watching me. The second I get up and leave, they'll run over to Plutarch and tell him to kill Rosaline."

"Why wouldn't they just do it now?" Katniss asked.

"They're afraid of me," Johanna shrugged, "Besides, I've helped her out of some sticky situations with the gifts I sent her. She was smart enough to figure out why I sent them and she saved herself. They're not happy about that, so they'll probably end up punishing me for it."

Katniss sighed, "They're not going to punish you. Nobody told you to let her die."

"They probably didn't think they needed to," Johanna said. She rested her head back into Katniss's chest, closing her eyes. She was really tired, and closing her eyes was dangerous because she might not open them again.

_Boom._

Her eyes snapped open to the familiar sound of the cannon. Off to the side, Enobaria was throwing a fit. Johanna was relieved to see that it was her tribute who had just died... from drinking the poisonous water. The only reason Enobaria was probably mad was because she came from District Two, and they had that whole pride thing. They didn't take well to losing. Even something like this.

She felt Katniss's lips on her head, "Can I watch her for you then? So you can get some rest. You can even sleep here, and if something happens I'll wake you up."

"I can't," Johanna muttered.

"You don't trust me?"

"I do, I just..." She sighed, "Rosaline and I seem to understand each other very well. We don't have to talk to have a conversation, you know?"

"Yeah, Haymitch and I had a similar relationship in my first Games." Katniss said. She sat down next to Johanna, still keeping her arm wrapped around Jo's waist. She rested her head against Johanna's, "Sleeping for an hour isn't going to hurt, right? We can take little shifts if you want. Like we're allies again."

"Except this time you don't want me dead, hopefully," Johanna smirked.

Katniss laughed, "No, not this time. I don't want to think about you being dead." It was a morbid thought, but Johanna had never really cared if she lived or died. It was much worse watching a loved one die, whereas if it were herself... then it was all just over.

All of the sudden, Johanna was on her feet, "I just had a thought."

"What is it?" Katniss was standing up next to her, steadying the shaking girl. Her face was consumed with worry, because Johanna did not look good. But she was relentless, and started walking towards the man who was standing in the far corner. Katniss had no choice but to help her.

Finally, Johanna got to him, "I need to see Plutarch."

The man was taken aback but Johanna's assertiveness, "I can't -"

"Now!" Johanna cut him off. The man just sighed, and after a moment he nodded.

* * *

"I know we're getting close to the end of the game, Plutarch." Johanna said. She was standing in the Gamemaker room, leaning against one of the polls for support, for the first time ever. And the last, she hoped, there was an eerie feeling in the air.

"It should end by tonight," Plutarch nodded.

"I know we're having our issues, wanting Rosaline dead. But I don't think she's any good to us dead," Johanna started her pitch.

"What do you mean?" He was confused, hearing this come from her mouth.

Johanna tried to position herself as straight as possible, but she was shaking out of control, she probably didn't seem that intimidating, "She's got nobody left. Nobody to mourn for her."

"The entire Capitol will mourn for her."

"No they won't, they know about Snow's lies, and what he did. She'll be outcast for the rest of her life. She won't even be able to safely live anywhere." Johanna wasn't entirely sure if this was true, but it made sense. She wouldn't be surprised if it were actually the truth.

"Johanna, if she lives then the council won't be very happy. I shouldn't tell you this, but they're already talking about what they need to do to you after they saw you save her several times, in order to get you back on track." Plutarch was practically scolding her.

"Get her back on track?" Katniss spoke up. She had been standing in the back, but now she came into the light, "Are you kidding me? Is this just Snow's rule all over again?" Plutarch's glance shifted between Katniss and Johanna a couple times. It was as if, all of the sudden, he had figured it out. After all this time, he must have known now that Johanna was the mystery person Peeta had mentioned in his interview with Ceasar. "You're going to punish her, use her as an example so that nobody disobeys you guys, is that what's going on here?"

"Well... no," Plutarch acted confused.

"It sure sounds like it!" Katniss retorted. Johanna really just wanted to kiss Katniss right now, and not stop. It felt nice having Katniss back her up on this. "She wants the girl to live, is that such a big deal? In a few years, nobody is going to think anything of it."

"I can pitch the idea to the council right now, but I don't know how well that's going to work." Plutarch sighed, "Even if they do say yes, what are we going to do with her? She's got nothing."

"So that's more punishment than dying, right?" Johanna added.

"Yes, but that's not what I meant. I mean, where will she go?" Plutarch questioned.

The room was oddly silent for a moment. Johanna thought about it. Rosaline had told her that anybody who had been even remotely nice to her was killed by the rebels. The kids she grew up with cast her out because they didn't want to die because of her. She carried fear with her, everywhere she went. Kind of like her grandfather, just in a slightly different way.

Johanna was just about to give up on the pitch. Spare the girl the miserable life she had waiting for her and let someone else take the Victory. But what Johanna hadn't expected was for the girl standing next to her to come up with an idea that nobody would have thought of in a million years.

"Maybe she can stay with us," Katniss suggested. Questioning looks from both Johanna and Plutarch were thrown at her. The idea was absurd, ridiculous, crazy... it would never work. Rosaline Snow and Johanna Mason could not live in the same place, despite any connection she may have felt with her in the Games. This idea wasn't going to work for her.

But the wheels in Plutarch's head were turning. He was smirking. He liked it. Punishment for Johanna and Rosaline, under the watchful eye of the Mockingjay. The council was going to eat this up... and then Johanna would be stuck. Or would she? Because she didn't have to stay with Katniss and Rosaline.

But she really didn't want to have to make that choice.


	42. Chapter 42

"Are you out of your mind?" Johanna hissed at Katniss once Plutarch had left. Katniss clearly hadn't been expecting that reaction from Johanna, "Why are you doing this? Because of Prim, or something?"

"No." Katniss muttered in response, "I said that for you."

"For me?" Johanna didn't understand.

Katniss shrugged, "I could tell you care about Rosaline and -"

"I don't care about her!" Johanna snapped.

"Look, you won't sleep, you keep helping her, and you're risking your life as far as the council goes... you wouldn't do this if you didn't care." Katniss argued back.

Johanna shook her head, "No, I care about what's right. Letting Rosaline die sends a bad message to the Capitol citizens, and the Districts. I hate to admit it, but Peeta was right. I just couldn't see it before the Games started. I know Finnick, and I know that he wouldn't want us to avenge his death in this way. I just couldn't see clearly when we were voted, I was so blinded by sadness and rage over the fact that my best friend had been murdered by them. I wanted them to pay for it. Now they have, and it doesn't feel any better. It's not going to bring Finnick back."

Katniss nodded, and took Johanna's hands in her own, "Then let's end this." She smiled, somewhat deviously at Johanna.

* * *

"So you want us to save Rosaline? To spin the Games in her favor?" One of the council members asked.

Johanna was standing in front of the entire council right now, including President Paylor herself. She and Katniss had been granted permission to speak with them, before the final four in the Capitol Games were forced to face off.

"Yes, but that's not really all I'm going for here." Johanna told her, before addressing the entire group, "I would like to propose an idea to you all. Having been in these Games twice already, I know that they can leave a sour taste in people's mouths. Not only for those who participated, but for those who are watching. We're turning ourselves into the savage beasts we fought so hard to destroy."

"Am I mistaken in the knowledge that you, Miss Mason, voted in favor of these Games?" Another member spoke up.

"You're right, I did. But I was angry, just like the rest of us, and I made a mistake. We all make mistakes, don't we. I think Katniss and I can both agree that we are not doing the right thing by letting these Games happen." Johanna said.

"It's only a one time deal, a single Victor and then we move on to rebuild our damaged country." A third member said.

"We need everybody to be on the same page... on the same side!" Katniss spoke up, "It can't be Capitol versus Districts anymore. We're all people here. We've all been through a ridiculous war, but we're all living in the same country, under the same rules. We can't keep doing this to each other or else it will be a never ending cycle. We need to be the better people and take the first step towards what's right."

Johanna couldn't help but admire Katniss. It was no wonder they had chosen her to be the Mockingjay. She didn't even realize that she had such a positive effect on the people she was talking to. She could see it in the council members' expressions, changing, thinking, digesting what Katniss had just told them. They were listening to her. Johanna was a little jealous, but the help was needed. They were on the same side, after all.

"She's right." President Paylor said, standing up. "And, there was no rule saying that these Victors can't change their vote at any point. If they are choosing to change their vote, then we will respect that."

Paylor looked over at Johanna, "I'm changing my vote, no more Capitol Games. Just... peace."

"I vote for peace too." Katniss said.

Paylor nodded, "Alright, tell Plutarch to cancel the Games. I'll make a statement to the Districts later, in case they are mad. They should understand, we can't do what the Capitol was doing to us." She sighed, "But we still have a problem. Three of the tributes have families to go back to, nobody else is going to take in Rosaline. So, if we agree to end these Games, Rosaline is going to become your responsibility Johanna."

Johanna bit down on her lip. She really didn't want to have to take Rosaline in. She wasn't _that _attached to the girl. Even if it was the right thing to do...

"Alright fine." She blurted out. Her eyes immediately widened. Did she really just agree to that? Katniss gave her hand a supportive squeeze, which was slightly reassuring. But Johanna couldn't take care of herself very well. She protected Katniss with everything she had, but she didn't know if she was great at taking care of her, and now a third person?

"That settles it then. Rosaline Snow will be confined to District Twelve, under your watch, and Katniss's watch. She is not allowed to leave unless she is escorted by a former Victor. This is until further notice." Paylor said, "Let's cancel the Hunger Games for good, folks!"

* * *

The news of the ending of the Hunger Games had an oddly peaceful reception. The four remaining tributes were released from the arena and sent to the hospital to get checked out. Paylor had announced her reasoning behind the cancellation, and the reception wasn't so bad. People were just glad it was over. They were prepared to but behind an era of death, torture, and murder behind them.

The Hunger Games were officially over.

As soon as the Games were over, Johanna had been able to finally get a few hours of sleep. Katniss promised to wake her when she was allowed to see Rosaline, whenever she was done in the hospital.

Now, she was finally on her way over to see the girl. She had to admit, she was a little nervous, because in person, Johanna and Rosaline didn't get along so well. It was like a war of wits between the two of them, and the twelve year old girl proved to be very witty and intelligent. Shouldn't have been a surprise, since she probably had all of the best teachers. But she had some traits in her that couldn't be learned, she was a gifted girl and it was frightening. Still, Johanna needed to see her, to see that it was all real.

Katniss stood with Johanna, as they waited outside of the hospital. Johanna had made it clear that she didn't want to go in... she was sick of hospitals. Katniss didn't have the slightest problem with waiting outside.

The first familiar face that came through the doors was Peeta. He smiled at the girls, "I heard what you did Johanna."

"What? Me? What did I do?" She asked, confused.

"You stopped the Games, you changed your vote." Peeta said, rolling his eyes as if she should have known.

"That was both of us."

"Yeah, but it was mostly you, Jo. It was your idea." Katniss nudged her in the ribs, gently though.

Peeta laughed, "I have to say, I was surprised when they told me it was you. I thought somebody made a mistake. But... I guess I was wrong about you Johanna, you're a good person."

She glared at him, "Well what did you think I was before?"

"Let's not go there!" He laughed. Even Katniss laughed a little, until she was cut off by Johanna's death glare. "Look, a family out there doesn't have to lose both of their kids, thanks to you. Now we all get to move on." Peeta said with a shrug.

"Where are you going to go now Peeta?" Katniss asked.

"Back to Four, with Annie and Kellen. It's where I belong. I met this girl there, her name is Cadence. She's Annie's last living cousin. I don't know... she's really beautiful and sweet..." Peeta trailed off.

Katniss smiled, "Maybe we'll get to meet her next time we visit!"

"Yeah, hopefully. Don't be strangers, visit whenever you want!" Peeta said. He hugged the girls goodbye, and walked away to go find Annie.

After a little bit of silence, Johanna spoke up, "How do you take care of a kid? I know she's not a baby, but she's still a child... how am I supposed to take care of her?"

"It's not that hard. You need to feed her, force her to do chores to make her disciplined, make sure she gets to bed on time." Katniss shrugged.

"I can't do this, it's like she's my child. I don't want kids, I hate kids." Johanna muttered in disgust.

"You'll be fine. Besides, you already took care of Kellen, and he's a baby!" Katniss laughed.

Johanna shook her head, "No, I never even touched the kid."

"I saw you holding him the other day, though. It was really cute." Katniss said.

Johanna squinted, "No. It wasn't cute. I don't like kids, I don't want any."

Katniss rolled her eyes and lauged. "Well... you're kind of stuck with one."

"She's like... half my age!" Johanna groaned. She wasn't happy about this, but she was taking one for the team here. Maybe in a few years Rosaline would be old enough to move out and take care of herself. Or maybe they could find someone else to take care of Rosaline in District Twelve, and they could just check on her every once in a while.

Then, the doors opened and a dazed Rosaline was escorted out of the building. Her eyes fell on Johanna and, unexpectedly, the girl ran right over, running right into Johanna, wrapping her small arms around her waist.

"Thank you," she said, her voice sounding strained, as if she had been screaming or crying, "I'm sorry you're stuck with me, but thank you for not leaving me like everybody else did."

Johanna's eyes were wide, not really sure how to react. She looked up at Katniss who was smiling at them. Johanna finally hugged the small girl back. "Yeah," she muttered, "No problem. I mean, nobody really deserves to be alone."


	43. Chapter 43

**Author's Note: Hey guys! So I've been a little busier than normal, lately, and I haven't been updating as much as I usually do, and I know I'm just going to get even busier. So for that, I've added a second chapter for the night! It's kind of like a two-in-one, I suppose! Hope you all enjoy it! (: Thanks for reading!**

* * *

Johanna never let Katniss go out into the woods alone. She was always there with her, chopping up some wood while Katniss did some hunting. Then they'd take their supplies back home, and call it a night.

But with Rosaline in their home, they couldn't trust the girl enough to let her out of sight. One of them either had to stay home with her, or they had to take her out into the woods with them. In fact, Johanna was so paranoid about living with a relative of Snow, that she even locked Rosaline's door at night, so the girl couldn't get out. She had a bathroom in her bedroom, and she had some food so it wasn't torture. She was allowed out of the room when either Johanna or Katniss were awake, but she wasn't allowed out of their sights. After all, the girl knew how to poison water with minimal supplies. They all had their vices, but at least Johanna didn't have to worry about Katniss shooting an arrow at her head anymore.

It was too dangerous to take Rosaline out into the woods right now, so Johanna had stayed behind with her. They were carving some wooden dolls for Rosaline to play with. Johanna was decent at carving after all, since creating intricate designs in wood was another distinct trait of a citizen of District Seven.

Rosaline wasn't so good at it, but she was having fun. She held up one of her dolls, "This one will be the ugly step sister!" She laughed. Johanna couldn't help but crack a smile. Mostly because the doll was truly hideous. At least Rosaline could see her faults and joke about them.

She'd only been in District Twelve with them for four days since leaving the Capitol. The entire train ride, Johanna had been wondering how she was going to explain to Rosaline that she and Katniss were living together, and they were in love. But the kid had surprised Johanna yet again, right before they got off the train. "You and Katniss are really good together. It's cute," Rosaline had said nonchalantly to Johanna, "So when are you planning on getting married?"

Since then, Rosaline had been bugging Johanna about wedding arrangements and whatnot. It was kind of embarrassing, since Johanna hadn't been thinking of that at all. And, it was kind of annoying. Rosaline was like an annoying little sibling, but there was something comforting about that, so she was letting it slide, sweeping Rosaline's fancy ideas under the rug every time she brought the topic up.

"How do yours look so good?" Rosaline whined. She was clearly frustrated with her work.

Johanna held up the doll she was working on. It had a lot of detail in it, but it was still nothing more than a wooden doll. She shrugged, "Years of practice."

"It's beautiful. Like you!" She said in her little high pitched voice.

Johanna rolled her eyes, "You know you don't need to suck up. I'm stuck with you no matter what."

"I'm not." Rosaline frowned.

A knock on the door brought them both to attention. Before Johanna could say or do anything, Rosaline was on her feet, sprinting to the door. Johanna got up to see who Rosaline was now talking to.

"Johanna, did you hear what happened?" Haymitch said. He looked a little flustered.

"What's going on?" She asked, as Haymitch walked in, closing the door behind himself.

"There was a mutt attack down by the homes." He said. Johanna sighed. These mutt attacks were happening a lot. Many mutts had been released in the last days of the war, and many were forming packs, making their way through the districts. Most had been killed by now, but mutt attacks were becoming very common lately. "They were wolves, killed eight people before the firing squad took them out. Another twenty or so are hurt. Half of them made it out and went into the woods. They probably won't be back, just be careful if you go out alone at night or something."

"Thanks for the warning, I'll tell..." She trailed off, frowning, "You said they went into the woods? How long ago?"

"It was about a half an hour ago. Why?" Haymitch asked.

Katniss. Alone in the woods. "Watch her!" Johanna ordered, she grabbed her axe and sprinted towards the back door, out and to the woods. She could hear Rosaline yelling something at her, but she didn't know what it was. She needed to get to the woods and find Katniss before the mutts did.

"Katniss!" She yelled into the woods, "Katniss where are you?" She was running like crazy, not entirely sure where she was going. But she continued to yell Katniss's name, praying for a response. It felt like she had been running through the forest forever. She was almost positive she was going to run into a bloody, dismantled version of the woman she loved, and the thought alone made her sick. She was breathing heavily, but not because she was tired. She was scared, for Katniss.

"Johanna?" She heard a voice not too far away, "Johanna is that you?"

"Katniss where are you?" She yelled again, though her heart was beating faster now. It was a good thing, as happiness surged through her. The mutts hadn't gotten to Katniss yet.

The girl ran into Johanna's view, and relief flooded over her. "Johanna? What's going on? Where's Rosaline?" Katniss asked.

Johanna didn't say anything at first. Instead, she ran to Katniss, wrapping her arms around the girl. She took Katniss's face in her hands, "I thought I was going to lose you." She forcefully kissed the other girl.

"What, why?" Katniss asked, pushing away from Johanna, not because she didn't want to be kissed, but because she was curious.

"There are a pack of wolf mutts running through the forest right now. They attacked District Twelve, I didn't see it, but Haymitch told us. He's watching Rosaline right now." Johanna briefed Katniss on the information she knew. She kissed Katniss again, this time, she didn't resist. "I'd feel better right now if you just came home."

"Alright," Katniss said, "We can go home, I'll go hunting another time."

She took Johanna's hand, and the pair walked back towards their house.

About halfway back, Johanna started to get tense. Something was wrong, and she didn't know exactly what it was. "I feel like someone is watching us," she finally said to Katniss.

Katniss froze and looked around. There was the sound of crunching leaves, footsteps nearby. A low growl. "We're being hunted," she whispered, pulling an arrow from her sling. Johanna grabbed the axe from her belt, her hands clenching. They kept walking, but slowly, watching their surroundings carefully.

Then, the sound of foosteps got louder and more rapid. Johanna looked to the side, pushing Katniss out of the way. She swung her axe upwards and burried it into the chest of an over-sized wolf. He howled in pain, as she pulled the axe from his chest, and writhed on the ground until he died.

"Run!" Katniss yelled, grabbing Johanna's wrist and tugging her away. The girls started sprinting, but the howls only increased. Soon, the pack of mutts were chasing after them. Katniss shot an arrow behind her, taking one of them out.

Johanna looked behind her to see how many there were, but before she knew it, she had tripped over some rocks, and went tumbling down, almost lodging her axe in her own body. She was quick to react, and turned, with her axe swinging through the air. It struck the head of a mutt who was lunging at her. She was quickly up on her feet, her axe buried into another mutt. One of Katniss's arrows lodged itself into the skull of a mutt who was attack Johanna from behind. She hadn't even seen it coming, it definitely would have killed her.

Johanna turned to face Katniss right in time to see the last mutt tackle her to the ground from the side. "Katniss!" She yelled, running over. Katniss was using her bow to hold the mutt back, as it snapped at her face. Johanna raised her axe, throwing it.

But right as she released it, another mutt had darted from the bushes, tackling Johanna to the ground. She grunted as she hit the ground, and watched her axe spiral away, out of reach and out of sight. She could barely see Katniss, but she could see that she was struggling to keep the mutt off of her.

Johanna grabbed a rock, and smashed it into the mutt's face as he tried to bite down on her head. He was pinning the rest of her body down. He growled, and bit down again, but Johanna knocked his head away with the rock. She did so several more times, finally with enough force to knock him off of her. She kept hitting him with the rock until he collapsed.

She looked up to see Katniss still struggling with the mutt.

_SNAP._

Katniss's barrier broke in the mutt's jaws. The sound was deafening, at least to Johanna. The mutt almost seemed to smirk, now that Katniss had no way to protect herself.

"NO!" Johanna screamed, and started sprinting towards the mutt to tackle him off of her.

Katniss had closed her eyes, she was bracing herself for the inevitable. Johanna was too far away, she wasn't going to get to the mutt in time. She couldn't save Katniss, just like everybody else she had ever loved.

"Katniss NO!" Johanna screamed again, as the mutt's deadly jaws bit down at Katniss's neck.


	44. Chapter 44

"No!" Johanna cried out. Tears were already streaming down her cheeks. It felt like a nightmare, but she wasn't waking up.

She closed her eyes and fell to her knees. At least she could spare herself of the torture of watching her lover get her throat ripped out. But she wouldn't stand up, or run away. No, when the mutt was done with Katniss, he could have her as well. It would be cruel to let her live after all of this. Her heart, though thought to be stone cold, just couldn't take it anymore.

Memories flashed through her mind. They were sweet memories, the perfect thing to be going through Johanna's head in her final moments. She thought of when she first met Katniss on the elevator. The first time she kissed her. Their first real kiss. The Arena. The hospital. The first time they shared a bed. The first time they said "I love you". The pine needles. Moving in together. Cooking dinner for her. Waking up next to her. That feeling that surged through her every time they laid eyes on each other. All of it... all of the happiness Johanna had since meeting Katniss. It had made everything else worth it. But there was nothing that could fix this.

Now all she had to do was wait for the monster to finish with Katniss, so it could turn to her and finish her off too.

She heard a yelping noise, and a thud.

Johanna kept her eyes closed for a moment longer, afraid of what she might see if she opened them. But there was a terrible silence around her, and she slowly opened her eyes.

Her gaze landed first on the mutt. He was lying on the ground, a knife lodged in the side of his chest, having pierced his lungs. He was dead.

Then, Katniss... she was lying on the ground, frozen. Her eyes wide open in shock. Her chest moved up and down... she was breathing? Johanna was on her feet, running over to Katniss, before she realized what she was doing. Katniss slowly started to sit up.

"Oh my God!" Johanna cried. She couldn't control herself. She didn't want to cry. She wasn't a crier. She prided herself on that fact. But there was nothing she could do to stop the tears from streaming down her face. She pulled Katniss's body into her own, holding her tight. "You almost died. I didn't know you had a knife, Katniss I can't..." Johanna trailed off, losing control of her words. Instead, she buried her head in Katniss's shoulder, to muffle the noise she was making.

"I didn't have a knife." Katniss managed to mutter.

It took a few moments for those words to register with Johanna. She lifted her head up and looked at Katniss, confused. "Then who-"

She looked up past Katniss and saw Roasline standing there, a short distance away, with a worried look on her face. She was breathing hard, but she managed to pull her lips into a small smile for Johanna.

Johanna couldn't believe it. The granddaughter of the man she hated more than anything... the granddaughter of the man who took everything from her, everyone she had ever loved, ended up saving the person she loved most. She was speechless.

Katniss pushed herself up to her feet, with Johanna's help. She was still shaken, but she wasn't as much of a wreck right now like Johanna was. Katniss hugged Johanna again, gently kissing her neck, before letting go and walking over to Rosaline, who hadn't moved from the spot she stood in.

Katniss put her hand on Rosaline's shoulder. "Thank you," she whispered.

Rosaline nodded, "I'm glad I got here in time."

"You were supposed to be with Haymitch..." Johanna mumbled, walking over. She was still trying to make sense of everything.

"About a minute after you left, I distracted Haymitch long enough to be able to run away from him. It wasn't hard." She explained.

"You could have gotten hurt," Johanna said.

"Well that was worth the risk." Rosaline shrugged, "I couldn't risk losing the only two people who actually mean anything to me. The only two people I have left in the entire world, so..."

Johanna shook her head, and dropped to her knees, so she was at the same height as Rosaline. She pulled the girl into a hug. "Thank you so much for saving her. For... saving us. I don't know what I'd do without you."

* * *

Johanna, Katniss, and Rosaline had made their way back to the safety of their home to find Haymitch pacing around, mad that he had lost the girl. Johanna explained to him that it was all alright.

Now they were all inside, tending to their wounds. Johanna hadn't noticed how badly she had been scratched up, from the bramble and the claws of the mutts. Katniss had it worse. Her arm was pretty torn up, but right now Rosaline was bandaging it up. She wasn't half bad at it, though Johanna probably could do better. Both Katniss and Rosaline told her that she needed to tend to her own wounds first.

Johanna had finally recovered from the shock of everything that had happened, so she wasn't out of control, losing her mind anymore. She was starting to get upset with herself, that the other two got to see her in such a vulnerable state. She didn't like that, it made her feel weak. Every few minutes though, her head would snap up, and she'd need to look over at Katniss, just to be reassured that Katniss was, in fact, still alive and well. Sometimes she'd reach over and give her hand a squeeze. Every bit of reminder she could get to know that this was real, and for once, things had worked out in her favor.

Johanna finished bandaging up her small cuts. The bruises were going to take a little longer to heal, but overall, she was fine. As long as Katniss was fine, she was fine. Katniss had just finished up with her bandaging. Johanna didn't wait a moment longer to be out of her embrace. She wrapped her arms around her waist, pulling Katniss into her. She stole a quick kiss before Katniss rested her head on Johanna's shoulder, hiding it in her neck. They stood there in silence for a while.

"Well..." Rosaline said breaking the silence. She was awkwardly rocking back and forth on her feet. "I'm tired so I'm going to go to bed now."

"Okay, goodnight." Johanna said, giving her a smile, but still holding Katniss in her embrace.

"Are you going to come lock the door?" Rosaline raised an eyebrow suspiciously.

Johanna shook her head, "I don't think that's necessary."

Rosaline beamed, and ran to Johanna and Katniss, throwing her small arms as far around them as she could. The small gesture wasn't much from Johanna, but it meant that she was trusting Rosaline now, and that clearly meant a whole lot to the little girl. Johanna put her hand on Rosaline's back, giving it a small pat.

"Goodnight!" Rosaline said, yawning, before she walked to her bedroom.

Johanna led Katniss to the couch, and the two sat down, still in each other's embrace.

"So you trust her now?" Katniss said. By the sound of her voice, she was getting sleepy herself.

Johanna shrugged, "Yeah, do you?"

"I guess so. I mean, she saved my life." Katniss said.

"She saved _our_ lives," Johanna corrected, adding a kiss between Katniss's eyes.

Katniss sighed, "No, I don't think it would have attacked you if I had died."

"Oh? And why not?" Johanna leaned back against the couch, so she was pretty much lying down, with Katniss on top of her.

Katniss took the opportunity to snuggle up against her lover. "These mutts are coming for me. They're always just looking for me. Like when I was fighting in the Capitol when... when Finnick died, he died fighting mutts who were hissing my name. He died protecting me from them."

Johanna closed her eyes, as her chest filled with hurt and sadness. She had never asked how Finnick had died. That had never mattered to her. He had promised Johanna that he would protect Katniss with his life, and he did. She felt like she owed Finnick more than she could ever give him, especially since he was dead now.

"These mutts are like Peeta. Twisted by the Capitol to target me," Katniss continued, "They were all hard-wired to kill me, except unlike Peeta, they won't be able to regain control of their thoughts and emotions. Like the lizard mutts I fought, they'll kill anything they run into until they get to me. Now that they're released, they're planning on continuing on their mission so that they can be free."

"So what does that mean, Katniss?" Johanna asked, a sinking feeling in her stomach.

Katniss sighed, "That means these mutts aren't going to stop until they kill me."


	45. Chapter 45

Johanna had spent the last couple of days in a terrible mood. It was almost as if she was sinking back into her former self. The miserable and lonely former self. She didn't want that, but the idea of loosing Katniss was too much to bear. She'd lay her life down for the girl in a heartbeat. She wouldn't think twice about it.

After Katniss had mentioned that the mutts were targeting her, Johanna had gone into something of a frenzy. She barely got any sleep anymore, watching over Katniss for as long as she could, worrying that the mutts might show up at their door one night. These mutts had been targeting Katniss for a long time now, but the arrival of the wolf mutts a few days ago meant that these packs were finally making their way to District Twelve. The ones that weren't killed, were finally arriving. Johanna couldn't sleep with that on her mind.

Instead, she'd set up target practice in the backyard, throwing her axes at the targets. Since Johanna was often in a very angry mood, Katniss had been keeping her distance. It was probably a smart thing, because she didn't want to trigger anything inside of Johanna. Rosaline, however, didn't feel like it was necessary to keep her distance. In fact, Rosaline often joined Johanna in the backyard. Sometimes she would watch, but sometimes she would practice throwing her knives at the target.

Johanna noticed that one in every twenty or so would actually hit the target. None of her throws were a bullseye, which meant that when Rosaline threw the knife at the wolf mutt, and nailed it... it was complete and pure luck that she managed to hit the target. But she was working on it, and she was getting better. Not only that, but she wanted Johanna to teach her how to use an axe, so she did. Every morning the two of them would do some sort of workout, as long as Johanna wasn't too far from Katniss.

"Spread out your hands," Johanna told Rosaline, who was holding an axe that looked way too big for her. "Gives you better control. Your strongest hand should be closest to the blade." She was reciting things that her dad had taught her when she was a young girl.

Rosaline took the notes, and swung the axe at a tree, lodging it in there. She tugged back, but frowned, "It's stuck." Johanna stepped up to pull it out for her, handing the axe back to Rosaline.

"It'll take practice but you'll get better." Johanna said, though her tone wasn't as encouraging as she wanted it to be. She couldn't help it, she was exhausted.

"Hopefully I can chop down my own Christmas tree this year!" Rosaline said in a giddy tone. Her face fell flat when she saw Johanna sitting down with her head in her hands, "You know, if you're tired in a fight you're not going to be much help to Katniss."

"And what do you know about this?" Johanna snapped. Rosaline was right, but Johanna just didn't want to admit it.

Rosaline frowned, "You need to loosen up. You can't just live your life in fear all the time. That's not living."

Johanna was going to comment about how she had lived her entire life that, because of Rosaline's grandfather. But the girl was trying to help, so Johanna had bit her tongue. She was right, again. The times had changed and there was no need to live in fear anymore.

"I think you're making Katniss sad." Rosaline said sitting down next to Johanna.

"I am?"

"I think so. I mean," she sighed, "You started acting all funny and Katniss doesn't like it and she's been avoiding you and it's really awkward. So fix it."

Johanna laughed, "Yes ma'am."

"I'm just trying to help!" Rosaline defended herself.

"I know! You're just... really smart for your age."

Rosaline smiled, "Thanks. People don't usually like that."

"I didn't say I liked it..." Johanna joked. Rosaline laughed uncomfortably, unsure if it was a joke.

She leaned her head into Johanna's arm, "Maybe I can stay with Haymitch tonight. Or one of Katniss's friends or something."

"Why not one of my friends?" Johanna said, again in a joking tone.

"Because you don't have any." Rosaline said bluntly. That took Johanna off guard, she wasn't expecting her to be so upfront like that. "I understand though, you're afraid to make friends and get close to people. I'm the same way. I'm going to have to go to school soon and, well I guess I shouldn't worry. Not like anybody is even going to want to be my friend."

"They'll be stupid if they don't want to be your friend." Johanna muttered. Rosaline smiled. "Hey, by the way. Why do you want to stay with Haymitch tonight?"

"So you and Katniss can have some alone time."

Johanna shook her head, "You don't have to worry about that."

"No, I want you and Katniss to have some alone time to talk things out tonight, make it all right." Rosaline said.

_Talk things out. Right._ Johanna thought to herself, fighting back a smirk on her face. She shook her head again, "I just don't think it's safe."

"It'll be fine! Just make her dinner and stuff like that. My mommy liked it when Daddy cooked her dinner." Rosaline suggested, "Just relax for a night!"

* * *

"Where's Rosaline?" Katniss asked, a worried expression flickering over her face.

She had gone down to the village to run some errands, alone, despite Johanna's protests. They had spent thirty minutes arguing about it this morning, but Katniss didn't want to be babied any more. So she left regardless. She stayed out a lot longer than she was supposed to, probably because Johanna had been smothering her. Johanna had been worried for a while, but relief took over at the sight of Katniss coming in.

"She's with Haymitch." Johanna said casually. She was standing by the table, which was set up for two. The dinner Johanna had cooked was sitting on the table. It smelled good, but Johanna had no idea if it was going to taste the same. She had never cooked for anybody other than herself before. At least it should be edible. Worst case scenario, they can't eat it and they go somewhere to get dinner.

"Did you...?" Katniss was pointing at the table, and Johanna nodded.

"I'm sorry I haven't been giving you the space you need." Johanna muttered, looking at the ground. Apologies still weren't her strong suit. "I just, I love you so much, and I've spent too much of my time away from you, wondering what you were doing and if you were alright. So now I just really don't want to be apart from you, but I promise I'll get better."

Katniss was smiling now, and she ran over to Johanna's embrace, kissing her full on the mouth. "I love you too," She breathed in between kisses, "I don't want to be apart from you either, okay? So don't think that." Johanna nodded, not wanting to ruin another kiss with words. "I like it when you protect me, it's cute." Katniss spoke while her lips were still against Johanna's, but she pulled away to look at her in the eyes, "But don't be angry now. Please."

Johanna nodded again, and Katniss looked over at the dinner table. Johanna pulled the seat out so she could sit down. She really didn't want to let go of Katniss, but they did need to eat. She hadn't had a meal all day, and the food was going to get cold.

"Why aren't you eating, Jo?" Katniss said looking across the table at her.

Johanna bit her lip, "I just... I don't know if I'm going to like it."

"Didn't you make it?" Katniss asked. Johanna nodded in response, so Katniss took a bite. She closed her eyes, "Wow. This is amazing. I didn't know you could cook like that!" Katniss took another bite.

Johanna didn't understand, but she took a bite and it was good. She should have probably told Katniss that it was a recipe from Rosaline, but she kept that part to herself. At least for now. But if she didn't tell Katniss soon, she'd probably be stuck making dinner for good.

* * *

"Geez, Jo, you're tense." Katniss muttered, rubbing Johanna's shoulders.

The two were on the couch by the fireplace. Katniss was sitting up, and Johanna had rested her head on Katniss's lap. She winced as Katniss hit a knot, but the other girl was relentless, and kept massaging anyway. Johanna shifted so she was able to look up at Katniss, who was already looking down at her. She smiled, "Damn. You are really gorgeous, have I ever told you that?"

Katniss shrugged, "Once or twice." She cracked a smile and kissed Johanna's nose. She tried to pull herself back up, but Johanna didn't let her, grabbing her face, and pulling it towards her own, kissing her on the forehead, then on the lips. It was short and sweet, but it was enough to send chills through Johanna's body. The good kind, of course.

She sat up and turned around so she was facing Katniss, their lips quickly pressed together again, moving against each other. Johanna pushed Katniss down, so she was lying on her back. She slipped her hand under Katniss's shirt, and gently ran her fingers across her stomach. She could feel Katniss shiver at the touch. After all, they really hadn't had a chance to get intimate yet. Every time Johanna tried, _something_ disrupted them, and Katniss almost seemed eager to pay attention to whatever the disruption was. Even the few times they had taken a bath together, Johanna couldn't focus on the beautiful girl in the tub with her. Instead, she was too busy trying to fight off the memories.

She was half expecting Rosaline to burst through the door, or a mutt to end up in their backyard. Now would be the perfect time for a mutt to show up.

But nothing happened.

It was just Johanna and Katniss. Together. Alone. No distractions.


	46. Chapter 46

_Katniss. Katniss._

The voices hissed while she was asleep. Katniss was having another nightmare. The hissing sounds were all too familiar, the voices of the mutts coming after her. She hadn't had a nightmare like this in a long time, especially being so happy with Johanna. A nightmare like this wasn't supposed to come. She was the happiest she'd been in a long time.

These past few days had been bliss. Well, all the time she had spent with Johanna had been the best and happiest moments of her life, but the past few days especially. There wasn't any needless arguing, Johanna wasn't angry all the time, there was just love and happiness. Even with Rosaline in the house. She had only stayed with Haymitch for one night, because Johanna didn't like having her too far away. Poor Johanna always felt like she needed to protect everybody around her.

_Katniss._

The hissing sound was too real to be a nightmare. Instantly, she jolted awake. She was sitting upright in her bed, panting. But other than that she was rather quiet. Which was good, because Johanna was sound asleep next to her. She was glad she didn't wake Johanna, the girl barely got any sleep as it was. Every time Katniss was having a bad night, Johanna would stay up and make it better. It made her feel safe, but she didn't want her lover to have to suffer too.

_"Katniss."_ A voice hissed.

She slowly climbed out of bed, and tiptoed to the railing, overlooking the living room. She let out a small gasp, spotting Rosaline standing at the base, looking up at her.

_"Katniss."_ Rosaline hissed.

Katniss stumbled backwards, falling into the doorframe. She heard a stir behind her.

"What's going on?" Johanna asked, rubbing her eyes.

"Katniss!" Rosaline yelled, sprinting up the stairs.

An ominous feeling took over Katniss's body. It was like the time in the Capitol when Peeta started hissing her name with the mutts. But he had practically been turned into a mutt. Did that mean that Rosaline was like Peeta? Was she a mutt too?

Katniss got up and backed away to Johanna, who was already on her feet, axe in hand. Katniss had jokingly made fun of Johanna many times for keeping the axe by the bed, but now she understood why it was necessary.

"Johanna, she's a mutt." Katniss whispered harshly.

As soon as she said that, the wide-eyed young girl appeared in their doorway, breathing hard. "Katniss, they're coming for you!" She looked scared.

"What do you mean?" Johanna asked, stepping in front of Katniss protectively. Katniss noticed that Johanna's hand was clenching tighter on the axe, but she probably wasn't going to use it against Rosaline. No, Johanna had gotten rather close to the young girl, and having her around seemed to be good for Johanna. She got to see a different side of her lover with the little girl around, and she admittedly liked seeing Johanna like that.

"The mutts! I heard them, they're close!" Rosaline yelled. She was panicking.

"How do you know?" Johanna questioned.

"I don't have time to explain. There's too many we need to go!" She was crying now, "Johanna please!"

"Go where?" Katniss asked.

"Somewhere safe!"

"The peacekeepers maybe?" Johanna suggested. After all, since the fall of Snow, the peacekeepers were a lot more peaceful, "They might be able to protect us."

"Alright, let's go!" Rosaline said, grabbing Johanna's hand and pulling her forward. Katniss was tugged forward by this, because of Johanna's grip on her own hand.

"Wait! I need by bow!" Katniss yelled before they ran out of the house. She grabbed it, and they were on their way. "Should we warn Haymitch?"

"We don't have time!" Rosaline said, and the three girls ran. Something didn't feel right. They were running through the dark, in the middle of the night, but they hadn't seen anything yet. They were letting Rosaline lead them. The girl who was just hissing her name. Katniss was afraid of her right now. And maybe Johanna didn't want to hurt Rosaline, but if she needed to put an arrow through the girl, she would.

_Katniss. Katniss. Katniss._

The sounds were coming from behind. She knew that Johanna had heard them, because she had a look of terror on her face as she turned back. Katniss knew that Johanna wasn't scared for her own life, she was worried about Katniss. Well, she felt the same about Johanna. She didn't care if she died, not if it meant Johanna was alive and well.

It wasn't long until they heard the footsteps of these mutts. Katniss looked behind her and saw them. They looked like oversized squirrels with rabid eyes and sharp teeth. Still, they were small. That was going to make them hard to hit if they needed to. Especially for Johanna. She squeezed Jo's hand tighter, and they continued to sprint. But the small mutts were much faster, they were gaining ground fast. Then, everything happened so fast.

Johanna stopped running.

She turned and faced the mutts. Katniss pulled a bow from her sling and shot it at one of the mutts, nailing it before it got to Johanna. She turned to face Katniss. "Katniss run! Go!" She yelled, "Rosaline take Katniss! RUN!" She didn't have time to say anymore, as the mutts had closed the distance between themselves and Johanna.

"Please Katniss, we need to go, we can't fight them!" Rosaline tried tugging at her hand. Katniss was pulling out another arrow. The mutts were focusing on Johanna only right now, who was dancing around with her axe, slicing through them. They would focus on her until they killed her, then they would continue their pursuit of Katniss. "If you shoot them then they'll run after us before we can get to the peacekeepers."

She raised the bow, "I'm not leaving Johanna."

"I don't want to leave her either but don't let her die for nothing!" Rosaline pleaded. Katniss's heart sunk. Johanna couldn't die. She was trying to sacrifice her life to save Katniss... well Katniss didn't want to live without Johanna. "Please, for Jo!"

Katniss felt herself tearing up, but she couldn't right now. Johanna wouldn't want that. She and Rosaline needed to get to safety. Maybe they could get to the peacekeepers before the mutts killed Johanna, but they didn't have a lot of time. She grabbed Rosaline by the hand and the two of them sprinted away. She could see Rosaline wiping some tears from her face. She knew that the reality was hitting the girl really hard, but Katniss couldn't afford to let reality sink in yet. She needed to hang onto the hope that the peacekeepers could help them in time.

Just then, she could hear Johanna's screams of pain ring out through the night. Katniss stopped. She knew it wasn't a dream, because lights were flickering on in the houses all around them. People were waking up to the terrible sound of Johanna's agony. Not only that, but Rosaline had burst into tears next to her. The screaming stopped and the silence was haunting.

Katniss was furious. At herself. At Snow. At Johanna. At everybody. Tears lined her eyes, but she charged towards where she had left Johanna to die. She saw the mutts running towards her... they had moved on. She pulled out arrow after arrow and fired them at the mutts, never missing her target, despite the fact that tears clouded her eyesight.

It was only a matter of time until she was out of arrows. She dropped her bow and let the mutts run at her. It was time. They had only bought themselves a week since the last mutt attack, but Katniss was out of time now.

"STOP!" She heard Rosaline yell. The mutts all seemed to freeze. Katniss glared at the girl, angry at her. Partially for not stopping them when they were attacking Johanna, and partially for not letting them kill her first. Rosaline seemed as surprised as anybody that she could control the mutts like that. She didn't have the slightest clue that was in her ability. She even looked mad at herself. "Go away!" Rosaline shooed them, "Katniss isn't your target anymore!" The mutts growled and ran off into the woods.

"Why did you do that? Why didn't you let me die?" Katniss yelled at Rosaline.

"I didn't know I could do that. I wasn't yelling at them to stop, I was yelling at you to stop being such a fool!" Rosaline was full on crying now, "I'm sorry, I couldn't let you die. For Johanna."

Johanna. The name was enough to bring Katniss to tears. She was on the verge of crying, but she needed to find Johanna. Now it was Katniss's turn to worry, just like Johanna had in the woods a week ago. It was like they were never going to get a break. And now they never would. Katniss knew that she wasn't destined for a happy ending.

She started pacing up the street towards the spot where they had left Johanna. Katniss should have never listened to Rosaline. She should have stayed and fought with Johanna. Rosaline could have run down to the peacekeepers on her own.

The street was lined with dead mutts, their bodies slashed open by Johanna's axe. The axe itself was lying in a pool of blood. But no was a lot of blood, but there was no body to be found. Katniss didn't understand, as she turned, looking all around but saw nothing.

She didn't know if it was a good thing, maybe Johanna was alive. Maybe this meant she had gotten up. But there was no trail of blood anywhere. So if Johanna had gotten up and moved, and was in pain somewhere, Katniss couldn't get to her.

Johanna had simply disappeared.


	47. Chapter 47

The small mutts were everywhere, and Johanna was having a hard time hitting the smaller targets. But she had to hold them off for as long as she possibly could. That way Katniss and Rosaline could at least get to safety.

She grunted as she swung her axe down, slicing through one of the small mutts. Then there was another, and another. Suddenly, she felt a sharp pain shoot through her back as a pair of claws sliced it open. She heard herself scream in agony. She kept swinging, hitting as many as she could, though the blood was dripping down her back. Another one jumped on her shoulder and started biting into her neck. Another one was clawing at her legs. It was only a matter of seconds until they were all over her.

They brought her to the ground, as the axe fell out of her hand. She collapsed, with these animals still climbing all over her, scratching, clawing, biting. She knew she was screaming, but the pain was too much to bear, she couldn't hear anything. She didn't even notice when the mutts had stopped attacking her, because she could only feel pain from the wounds. She was lying face down in a pool of her own blood, and she couldn't move.

"Johanna?" She heard a voice. It sounded faint and far away, but a pair of strong hands flipped her over, "Holy shit, Johanna. It's alright, I'm going to get you some help." It was Haymitch. He must have heard her screaming. Johanna wasn't fully aware of what was going on. She was just surprised that she was alive in the first place, though that wasn't going to be the case for much longer.

Haymitch picked her up and started running with her. She didn't know where he was taking her, she couldn't tell where she was as he set her down on the table. The lights were turned on, shining right into her eyes. But that was the least of her worries.

"Oh my God. Is that Johanna?" A familiar female voice said.

"Yeah, she's hurt pretty badly. She's lost a lot of blood." Haymitch said.

Johanna looked over to the female. Katniss's mother? What was she doing here? When did she get here? She was supposed to be somewhere else right now. She was going through a bag, pulling out medical supplies.

"You sure chose a good night to come home." Haymitch muttered.

She heard Mrs. Everdeen put some things down on the table where Johanna was lying. Her fists were clenched in pain and she was biting down hard on her teeth, groaning through them, but she could still hear bits and pieces of the conversation between Mrs. Everdeen and Haymitch. "I don't have any of the right supplies with me!" She said. Her tone seemed slightly panicked, but she looked as if she were keeping her cool. "What did this to her? She actually has bites... chunks of her body bitten out. I don't know if I can stop the bleeding."

"She's in a lot of pain, do you have something for that?" Haymitch said as he dabbed at her body with a moist towel.

"I have some morphling." She said. Johanna groaned. She didn't want any of that, but she didn't have the energy to fight it off. She couldn't handle more morphling withdrawals. But... that might not even matter.

She felt herself drifting off.

"Johanna?" Haymitch was calling her name, but his voice was getting faint. "We're losing her!"  
Her eyes shut. She couldn't open them anymore.

"What was she even doing here in Twelve?" She heard Mrs. Everdeen say.

That was the last thing she heard. And then there was nothing.

* * *

_"Finnick?" Johanna asked, staring at the young man in front of her, clear as day._

_He smiled, that good old charming smile that she had missed so much. "Hello Johanna!" He said, holding his arms out. She ran to him for a hug. It all felt so real, like he was there with her. His body felt real. He smelled the same. His smile was the same. His voice... everything._

_It would have shocked Johanna, but this wasn't much of a surprise to her this time. This had happened to her several times before. She was alright with the dreams where she could talk with her old loved ones... but not if she had to watch Finnick die. Hadn't she been tortured enough?_

_"So I hear you got ripped apart by mutts like I did." Finnick said, laughing about it._

_Johanna frowned. "Wait, am I dead?"_

_Finnick shrugged. _

_"What's that supposed to mean?" Johanna demanded._

_Finnick laughed, "Geez. Haven't seen you in a while. Good to see you too, Jo. Glad to know you've missed me and stuff."_

_"Fin..." Johanna rolled her eyes, "Please tell me I'm not stuck here in this hell with you."_

_"What, this?" Finnick motioned to the area around him. It was actually quite beautiful, once Johanna really looked at her surroundings for the first time. "This is paradise!" He beamed. _

_"Do you live here?" Johanna asked. _

_"Yep," He pointed to a shack not too far away, "I built that myself."_

_"It looks like shit." Johanna muttered. Finnick only laughed and nodded. "What am I doing here?"_

_"I don't know. There's many reasons why you could be here. You're dreaming, you're under heavy medication, or you're dead." Finnick listed, "Hopefully it's not the last one. As much as I'd enjoy your company, Katniss wouldn't be too happy."  
_

_"Katniss..."_

_"She's safe Jo." Finnick put a hand on her shoulder, "You saved her."_

_"How do you know that but you don't know anything else?" Johanna snapped at him. _

_Finnick sighed, "Because it's all about what's going through your head. I only know everything you already know."_

_"I didn't know that I saved Katniss." Johanna said flatly. _

_"Yes you did."_

_"No, I didn't." Was she really arguing with a dead guy? She decided to change the topic, "Your son is beautiful Finnick."_

_"I know!" He beamed. Johanna rolled her eyes. "You know... I do know why you're here."_

_"Oh you do? All of the sudden?" Johanna crossed her arms. _

_"Yeah. You miss me." He smiled. Johanna frowned. It was true, but they both already knew this. Because Finnick wasn't actually talking to her. It was just a figment of her imagination, no matter how real it felt. "I'd love to stay longer but my time is up."_

_"Where are you going?" Johanna asked. _

_"I'm not going anywhere." Finnick smirked, "You are."_

_"What?"_

_"The Capitol awaits." Finnck said._

_Johanna felt a jolt in her body. It was uncomfortable. "What do you mean?" She asked, gritting her teeth through the pain.  
_

_Finnick didn't answer. Then. A flash. Then. Nothing. _

_Pure darkness._

* * *

Johanna jolted awake, panting.

"Woah woah, take it easy!" A voice said to her left. She looked. It was Plutarch. What was he doing here. "Welcome back, Johanna."

"Where did I go?" Johanna asked. Her voice was raspy.

"Your heart stopped for a little while. Luckily Haymitch got you to us in time." He smiled at her.

"Where am I?" She sat up. Her body was attached to a machine, but there were absolutely no scars on her body. That didn't make any sense.

"The Capitol."

"What!?" She hissed. "What am I doing here?"

"Haymitch brought you here so we could get you better. We completely fixed you up!"

"Where's Katniss?"

"She's back home in Twelve, with her mother." Plutarch said. "And Rosaline, she's here as well. We needed to do some testing on her."

"Why?" Johanna squinted at him.

"She had the ability to control the mutts and we needed to find out why." Plutarch explained as he scooted his chair closer, "Turns out that in his final days, President Snow created one last fail safe... one more chance to take out the Mockingjay. And that was his granddaughter."

"What? How?" Johanna didn't want to believe it, it didn't make sense.

"He injected her with this serum that gave her the ability to communicate with the mutts. He didn't tell her what it was, or what it would make her do. He knew that if she knew she would try and find a way to destroy that part of herself," Plutarch said, "The mutts were never looking for Katniss. They were looking for their new master. Rosaline. That's why she knew they were coming, and that's why she stopped them from killing Katniss."

"She did?"

"Lucky thing, indeed!" Plutarch laughed, "We're trying to find out if Snow had done any more tinkering with her, before we let her back with you."

"And when will I get to go home?" Johanna asked.

"All in due time. I think you need a rest." Plutarch said. His face fell flat, he was hiding something from her.

"Plutarch, I want to go home. I want to see Katniss." Johanna said.

Plutarch sighed, "Katniss..."

"What? What about her?"

"She thinks you're dead." Johanna's eyes widened as Plutarch said this. "You were, kind of. When Haymitch took you on the train, you weren't breathing. Her mother told her the bad news later on. Katniss wasn't too happy about it at first, but she's coping."

Johanna didn't know what to think. Why couldn't she just catch a break for once. It was like the universe was trying to tell her that she didn't deserve to be happy. "So what, am I supposed to stay here or something? Don't you think she'll be happy to find out I'm alive?"

"Well," He frowned, "That's what the council wanted to talk to you about. I'm not supposed to tell you, but they think it might be a good idea to keep you here. Keep you hidden. Let Peeta help heal Katniss, so they can be together like they were supposed to be."

"No. No way!" Johanna hissed, "There's no way I'm agreeing to that. You guys can't hold me here."

"You're right, we can't." Plutarch shrugged, "I will tell them that you aren't okay with it. Try to get you on the first train back to District Twelve."

He got up to walk away. "Wait!" Johanna stopped him, "Why did anybody think I'd even be remotely alright with that?"

"It was a suggestion we got from a third party, one who spent a considerable amount of time with you. The council took that into consideration, and put it together with the fact that they still want to do a very public Mockingjay wedding." Plutarch laughed, "You know politics and the media together. It's a very corrupt system, even if it is better than what Snow had."

"Who suggested it?" Johanna asked.

"I don't ..." Plutarch didn't want to answer, but Johanna was glaring at him. He caved. "It was Rosaline's suggestion."


	48. Chapter 48

"Why did you do it Rosaline?" Johanna was talking to the girl through a glass door.

Normally they would have let Johanna and Rosaline talk face to face, but they were half afraid that Johanna would tear the girl apart. Some of them wanted her to, being Snow's granddaughter and all. But Plutarch convinced everybody that having a safety between them was the best bet. That way, Johanna wouldn't do something she regretted... like strangle the little girl.

"I didn't want you to get hurt, Jo." Rosaline muttered. She was looking at the ground.

Johanna sighed, "Well. I'm hurt. By all of it."

"It's just... when they said you were dead, Katniss didn't even cry. I did. I couldn't stop crying, until I came here and they said they revived you and you were healed. She has Peeta and Annie, and Kellen and her mother. They're all with her now and... they're helping her. I knew it would hurt you to see that she was doing fine without you so that's why I said that." Rosaline tried to explain.

It did hurt Johanna a little bit when the girl said that Katniss didn't even cry. Johanna would have been non-stop crying. In fact, she would have just stopped living. She knew she couldn't handle a world without Katniss in it. But the last thing she wanted was for Katniss to be sad and hurt herself. So she was grateful for the other people who stepped in.

"I never wanted to hurt either of you Johanna. I'm not my grandfather." She said soothingly, "Remember how I saved you? If I wanted to hurt either of you guys I would have let the mutts kill Katniss either of those times. But I didn't, for you."

"I'm going back to District Twelve." Johanna said flatly.

"You're not going to like what you find there," Rosaline warned.

"If I find Katniss there, then I'll like it enough. I don't think you're old enough to understand yet." Johanna frowned.

Rosaline sighed, "But you and I could just go somewhere else. You can find someone else who will love you as much as you love them. It's just not fair Johanna. Not fair for you."

Now Johanna was having some major self esteem issues. This was what Rosaline wanted, for her to fall for her trap. That was always Rosaline's greatest strength, her words and her ability to manipulate others. She wanted Johanna to feel like Katniss didn't love her. But that wasn't true. It couldn't be true... could it? Didn't Katniss love her back? She always said so...

"She does love me as much as I love her. And I'm going back to her. I have to." Johanna said.

"So we leave when my test is done then?" Rosaline looked hopeful.

Johanna shook her head, "I'm leaving tomorrow morning."

"But I won't be ready by then! I don't want to stay here alone." She looked like she might cry.

Johanna felt her heart swelling with sympathy. She had spent so long caring for this girl. She had become like a little sister to her. But she couldn't let Rosaline try and dictate her life anymore. She needed to get rid of any poison in her life. It hurt to admit that Rosaline was a poison. "You're staying here, then the Council will decide on what they want to do with you. You're not coming back with me."

Johanna didn't want to face the crying, pleading young girl. She immediately turned on her heels and strode away, not looking back.

* * *

The past few days had been the worst days in Katniss's life... by a lot.

She was used to losing people. Her dad. Rue. Finnick. Prim. But she had never imagined what it might feel like to lose a lover. She had given her mother such a hard time when her dad had died, but now she understood why her mother shut everyone else out. It was the only reasonable coping mechanism. If she didn't shut everyone out, she might have just died and left her two girls orphaned. Now Katniss understood.

She had no kids. She could just... die. People would be sad, sure. But eventually they would get over it. But for now, she just shut everybody out, from the moment she had heard that Johanna didn't make it. She shut down.

No, she hadn't cried at all. Unlike Annie, who had arrived with Peeta the same day she had gotten the news. Annie was a wreck. Peeta spent most of his time comforting her. Katniss would just sit alone in her room, lie on Johanna's side of the bed because it still smelled like her, wear some of her sweaters, or just sit and stare at the ceiling, letting the loneliness engulf her.

When she came across the bundle of pine needles hidden away in Johanna's drawer, she lost it. She locked herself in the bedroom and let herself cry for the first time, for hours. She did so silently, until her mother came up to check on her. Then, she brushed the tears away and went back to being the emotionless shell.

Her mother didn't understand her behavior at first. Katniss never had the chance to tell her about her relationship with Johanna. She didn't get to see her mom much after Prim died. Thank God for Peeta though, because he sat down with her and explained it all. He spun the words into a beautiful story about how Katniss and Johanna had fallen in love, and how it was such a wonderful thing. It brought her mother to tears, and it brought Annie to tears, but Katniss was all out of those.

"Oh sweetheart," her mother would say, wrapping her arms around her shoulders, "I love you so much, and I know how it hurts. Johanna would be proud of you for being so strong!" Those words were supposed to be comforting. But they weren't. Johanna wasn't proud of her for being strong. She wasn't strong. And even if she was, Johanna _couldn't_ be proud of her. Why? Because Johanna was **dead**.

Katniss was staring at the fire place, watching how the flames engulfed the wood. She thought of how even the smallest thing, like her fire, would remind her of Johanna. She couldn't think of anything else, but the misery she was in. Even with Snow dead, she was still losing everything important to her. Apparently, she hadn't been through enough. There was a breaking point, and Katniss was almost there. She was getting pushed over the edge.

_SLAM._

She saw through the corner of her eye, Annie and her mother flinching at the sound of the front door slamming. Peeta standing up at the sound of footsteps. Obviously, whoever was there wasn't invited. But Katniss didn't care. She couldn't turn around. She didn't have the energy to.

She noticed that Peeta, Annie, and her mother were all staring, mouths agape, at their visitor. What was their deal anyway?

"What?" The voice snapped, "You're all looking at me like I'm dead or something."

Johanna?

Katniss immediately turned around.

This wasn't a dream, right. She locked eyes with Johanna, who looked at her with such an intensity, something that Katniss couldn't replicate in a dream, no matter how hard she tried. She didn't take her eyes off Johanna, and Johanna didn't take her eyes off of Katniss. They stood frozen, as if they couldn't believe they were in each other's presence again.

Well, it was true. Katniss couldn't believe it.

Johanna was dead. But she was very much alive, standing there, looking at her. With such passion and love too. Katniss felt a stray tear run down her cheek. The impossible was possible, then?

Moments later, Johanna had swiftly closed the distance between them, pulling Katniss into her embrace. Her hands were on Katniss's face, lips pressed against her own. There was no way this was a dream. A dream couldn't feel this good. She felt herself melt into Johanna's lips, just like she always had. Katniss silently prayed that Johanna wouldn't end the kiss anytime soon, as she ran her hands along the taller girl's back before squeezing her tight and letting her body press against her own.

Johanna answered that silent prayer, and it seemed for a moment that it was just them, alone but together.

Katniss's eyes snapped open and she pushed Johanna away. She knew she had to be hallucinating. This was impossible. But why was everyone else staring at Johanna as well. Johanna never looked away from Katniss, smiling at her.

"It's okay. I know it's a lot to take in but it's okay." Johanna said to her, grabbing her hand and pressing her lips to it. Even that small touch sent a shock through Katniss's body. But it was such a good and welcome feeling.

"I... I saw you die." Her mother stuttered.

"They saved me, in the Capitol." Johanna explained. "I guess my heart stopped for a little bit, but I got there fast enough for them to help me."

"You're alive!" Annie shrieked with joy, more tears falling from her eyes. Johanna looked away from Katniss for the first time to embrace her old friend. Katniss was still a little doubtful. Something good happened... what was the catch?

"Did they change you?" Katniss asked.

Johanna scoffed, "Change me? Never!"

Even Peeta laughed at that, "I still can't believe my eyes, but I'm sure glad to see you." He embraced Johanna as well. It was a weird feeling for Katniss, seeing Peeta and Johanna acting like friends. She knew very well that when Finnick died, Peeta wanted to step up in that role for Johanna. He had such a big heart and Katniss was always going to love that about him. He whispered something in Jo's ear, but Katniss couldn't hear him.

"Katniss, are you alright?" Johanna's voice brought her back to reality. She hadn't noticed that she had let her mind drift too far off. Such a beautiful face she was looking at... Katniss couldn't even find the words to talk to the woman right now. She just bit down on her lip. Johanna laughed, "I know things are going to be a little weird, but they're not going to change."

"It's not going to be weird," Katniss muttered, "Give me, like, another couple of hours and it'll be fine. I just... I can't get over how happy I am to see you."

Johanna seemed to glow when Katniss said that. She was smirking, "But you're not even smiling."

"Yeah," Katniss mumbled, "Like I said, give me a couple hours to get over the shock." Johanna nodded and stepped back. Katniss felt Jo's hand slipping from her own, but she clenched it tighter, probably hurting the other girl a little bit. She didn't want to let go. Not now, not ever. She didn't have to say it, but Johanna understood. She didn't seem to want to let go either.

Johanna's lips pressed against her forehead was a very warm and welcomed feeling, "I still love you." She muttered softly.

Katniss smiled, "I still love you too. Always." She knew that everyone else was watching them right now, but somehow it didn't matter. She felt the burst of love and happiness jolt through her. She, herself, was also being brought back to life. It wasn't instantaneous, but it was happening. Within the next couple of hours she was going to be all over Johanna and it was probably going to make everybody else very uncomfortable. "But I have to ask... how?"

"How what?"

"How did you do it? How do you always end up back here. When everything just seems so wrong you show up to make it right, to make me happy again." Katniss didn't know what she was trying to say.

But Johanna's smile assured her that she knew exactly what Katniss was trying to say. She looked her straight in the eyes, mimicking what Katniss had said to her the last year, but with that devilishly charming look only Johanna had; she said, "I always find my way back to you, don't I?"


	49. Chapter 49

At first, Johanna had been worried that everybody had been right about Katniss being alright with her death. After all, she showed up and Katniss remained completely stoic. But the small gestures: pulling Johanna closer to her, grabbing her hand tight, leaning her head on her shoulder... it all ensured Johanna that Katniss was happy, she just couldn't show it right now.

That was when Johanna recognizes that it was just a coping mechanism. She'd seen it in Katniss before, when Prim died. She did it herself, when she lost her loved ones. She didn't let anybody inside. Granted... there was nobody left to let inside anyway. Maybe that was why she didn't recognize it at first. It was just taking Katniss some time to regroup and come out of this coping mechanism.

Within an hour, Katniss had started to smile more. Mostly just when Johanna talked, because she had spent that hour making small talk with Peeta, and ogling at baby Kellen, who was now crawling on his own and looking more like Finnick than ever. Katniss even smiled when Johanna explained what happened with Rosaline, probably because she was glad that Johanna chose her over the little girl. She knew that somewhere deep inside, Johanna was hurt over this though. And she was, she hadn't wanted to leave Rosaline behind but she felt like she was left with no choice. She might have changed her mind, if Rosaline hadn't busted out of the Capitol. Apparently late at night she had summoned some of her mutts to help her bust out, and she'd run off into the forest with them. Now they were a threat to Johanna and Katniss, yet again. But this time was different. This time, Johanna didn't care. She just wanted to be here, next to Katniss.

Another hour passed, and Katniss was pretty much back to her old self. She had flung herself onto Johanna, stealing a kiss from her whenever the opportunity presented itself. Sometimes, even when the time wasn't really appropriate.

"And then we had run back in the opposite direction," Johanna said as she recounted a story from her childhood, "He kind of laughed at me for falling but -"

She was cut off by the pressure of Katniss's lips against her own. Katniss pulled away from her, smiling. Johanna couldn't hide the smirk on her own face, even though she wanted to. She wasn't very good at being openly affectionate towards anyone in front of other people. Not like this.

"Sorry," Katniss muttered, resting her head back down in Johanna's lap, "I couldn't help myself."

"Well shit!" Johanna laughed, "Now I forgot how the story ended!"

"Maybe it'll come back to you?" Peeta asked, seeming thoroughly invested in Johanna's stories. She felt like he was probably analyzing her, making sure she was a good fit for Katniss. He was probably still trying to be protective of her. OR... he was actually interested in Johanna's stories. She couldn't quite tell.

Johanna shrugged, right as Katniss's mom called to them from the kitchen, "Dinner's ready!"

This was going to be weird, having dinner with everybody here. Haymitch was supposed to show up as well, but he was running late. Johanna got up, still not having let go of Katniss's hand since she had gotten back. She noticed how affectionate Peeta was being with Annie, as she had dazed off. He was bringing her back to reality. It was good, she needed that. But Johanna still didn't like the idea of Peeta taking care of Annie more than he needed to. She felt a little jealousy for Finnick. But he'd be happy, wouldn't he? To see that Annie was so well taken care of. Of course he would. Johanna knew that she'd be happy to know that if anything ever happened to her, Katniss had someone to love and care for her.

No matter how weird it was going to be, Johanna realized that she was going to be surrounded by people who cared about her. Not only that, but she actually cared about these people as well. It was a new feeling, but not entirely unwelcome. She wasn't sure she wanted to let people in. Like she said, all her friends ended up dead. But there had to be a point where they were going to get past that. Was it their time yet?

* * *

"I have to ask you a question." Johanna said in a hushed tone.

She looked around to make sure that nobody else was there. It was just her, and Ms. Everdeen. It had taken a lot to get Katniss away from her. Not that she wanted to be away from Katniss, but she did need to talk to Ms. Everdeen privately. She had managed to convince Katniss that the kitchen was too crowded with three people doing the dishes, and she was going to help Ms. Everdeen clean. She whispered to her that it would be good bonding time.

Katniss took that with a smile, but still reluctantly left her side for the first time in four hours.

"What is it Johanna?" Ms. Everdeen smiled at her.

Considering the given circumstances, Ms. Everdeen had been incredible. She was a kind and caring woman. She too had been hurt so much, yet she'd never been in the Games. Snow's reign of terror clearly extended past the tributes and victors. She had found it in her heart to be incredibly gracious to Johanna, and she felt like it was more than just the fact that Johanna and Katniss were in love.

Johanna sighed, trying to find the right words. "Er... Uh... Well I... Umm."

"Honey, you're going to have to spit it out soon," Ms. Everdeen practically laughed, "There's no saying when someone is going to walk in here. Especially Katniss. I hope you aren't going to mind her clinging to your side for the next five days straight."

"I'd be okay with that," Johanna laughed.

Ms. Everdeen shook her head, but she was still smiling, "I've never seen my daughter like that. But... it's nice. She's so... happy. So, before I forget, thank you for making my daughter happy. She deserves it." Johanna just smiled and nodded, unable to find words at that moment. She would probably get herself all choked up over that. "What was it you wanted to ask me Jo?"

"Well," she found herself taking in a deep breath. _Here goes nothing._ "I don't know how you guys do it in District Twelve. But we're pretty traditional in District Seven. Umm..." She was about to trip over her words again. There was a look of pure terror on her face right now. Ms. Everdeen stood watching Johanna, knowing exactly what was coming, but politely waiting it out anyway. "I wanted to... I want. Ugh, I don't know why this is so hard."

"Are you okay?" She seemed genuinely concerned, putting a hand on Johanna's shoulder.

Johanna nodded, "I'm fine. I just. I need this. I need this, and I need Katniss. And I'm done with all the sappy sad shit going on in my life I need something happy. I think we all do." Ms. Everdeen nodded in agreement, "I never actually thought these words would come out of my mouth but... I want to marry your daughter. I wanted to tell you because I don't think I can ever bring myself to ask her without your blessing." There. She had said it. She wanted to marry Katniss. She had known it from the moment she had met her, she just hadn't realized it until she was away in the Capitol. Up until that point, Johanna was satisfied with her life, content with the idea of never being married. But now she _needed_ this. It was something that was almost unexplainable.

Tears lined Ms. Everdeen's eyes. For a moment Johanna thought she offended the other woman, until a huge smile spread on her face. She started to laugh and cry at the same time, almost hysterically.

Now it was Johanna's turn to ask, "Are you okay?"

Ms. Everdeen nodded, "I knew you were going to ask. But, you know, you could never be too sure... I'm just so relieved." She said with joy, pulling Johanna into her embrace, "Of course I give you my blessing. Are you kidding me? I've never seen my daughter so happy and she deserves every ounce of happiness. Johanna... you are going to make her the happiest woman in Panem."

Johanna laughed, "I don't think so. That spot's already occupied by me. Unless she says no."

"She's not going to say no!" Ms. Everdeen assured her, "Go ahead, go ask her."

"Now?" Johanna's eyes widened. She hadn't been prepared to do it now. She wanted to prepare something cheesy and elegant for Katniss. She wanted to do everything she could to make it special. But she realized that Katniss wasn't into the big showy elegant type stuff. Right here, right now in the comfort of her own home would be perfect.

"I don't think there's a better time." Ms. Everdeen shrugged.

Johanna had her own reservations about doing in front of other people. She wanted this to be a private moment for her and Katniss. This way Katniss wouldn't feel like she had to say anything in particular because of other people. Maybe she would just say yes to spare Johanna embarassment, and change her mind later on. But Katniss had never been afraid of speaking her mind, had she?

After all, they were surrounded by the people they loved the most. There was no better audience for this moment. It wasn't in front of Panem, it wasn't staged. Johanna was going to propose to Katniss.

She nodded and walked to the doorway to the living room, leaning against the wall and scanning the faces in the room. Haymitch, Kellen, Annie, Peeta... they'd all been so helpful and supportive with everything, especially Peeta. Would he be upset by this gesture of love? Probably not if he knew Katniss was happy. Would she be? Did Katniss even want to get married?

Doubts were circling her mind again, until her eyes met Katniss's. There was no doubt in Johanna's mind, at that very moment, that Katniss loved her. As much as she loved Katniss. They shared a smile. Was it the right thing to do? Johanna didn't know. She didn't even care at that moment anymore.

Which meant she had to ask now before she changed her mind.


	50. Chapter 50

Johanna could feel her heart beating so fast that it could easily just fly right out of her chest.

She had never been so nervous for anything before. Not even the Hunger Games. This wasn't even a bad thing. The worst that could happen was Katniss wouldn't be interested in it, and they would still go on loving each other. But Johanna felt like she needed this. It would complete her, her life, her story. All of it would be defined by this one moment. Okay that was an exaggeration, but that's kind of how it felt right now.

Katniss was smiling up at her. She hadn't broken eye contact with Johanna since she stepped into the room, even though Peeta continued on with his conversation. Johanna lingered in her spot for a second longer. She reached into her jacket pocket to make sure the little package was still there. She had picked up while she was in the Capitol. She had chosen one of the simpler rings, but it was still incredibly elegant nonetheless.

Johanna had no idea what to do next. She looked back at Ms. Everdeen, who gave her a reassuring nod. Johanna took a deep breath. She was going to have to go off of instinct here.

She walked over to Katniss, falling to her knees and wedging herself between Katniss's legs. Katniss took Johanna's face in her hands, and before Johanna really knew what was going on, they were kissing. Everything in her mind was swirling right now. She couldn't keep her thoughts straight, especially when she was kissing Katniss. She usually only focused on that, never really having to think about what she needed to say next.

Peeta had stopped talking, because of the interruption, but frankly Johanna didn't care if it was rude. He was going to have to get used to it. She thought maybe he'd continue his conversation when they pulled apart, but he didn't. Thankfully. But she did hear Haymitch snickering to himself in the background.

"Shut up Haymitch," Johanna said, somewhat playfully though she still never took her eyes off of Katniss. She lowered her voice to a whisper, "You're the greatest thing that's ever happened to me, you know that?"

Katniss blushed, unable to answer.

"It's true," Johanna said softly, stroking her face and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "I've been thinking, about how different my life would be if I had never been reaped. Or, if I had just listened to Snow and my loved ones wouldn't have been killed. I used to always think how my life would have been better, but I don't think that's true anymore." Katniss frowned, confused. But Johanna was all smiles, "I think my loved ones needed to die to make way for you in my heart. I know it's kind of... depressing in a way, but it turns out that you're all I ever needed. And I think everyone else would be happy if they knew how happy you made me. And I love you so much for making me feel like that, and for making me feel things that I never felt before. I just... love you."

"I love you too," Katniss smiled, as a stray tear fell down her cheek. Johanna instinctively wiped it off.

"I'm here for you no matter what. I'll take the bad days and the good. I don't care about anything else, really. I don't care about stupid politics, or people who don't approve of me, or us. I don't care about the fact that Rosaline is running through the woods with a pack of mutts and might hunt us down. I mean, I do... but it doesn't bother me. Because it all just doesn't matter. We'll deal with it when we get there, right?"

"Right." Katniss laughed. Johanna took the opportunity to kiss her again.

"Sometimes I feel like you're too beautiful for me. Too loving, too caring... Like I don't deserve you," Katniss looked about ready to protest but Johanna held her finger up to stop her, "But... you still love me despite everything else. So, as a little thank you, I got you a gift from the Capitol."

"Jo I don't need gifts as long as you're here." Katniss argued.

"I will be here, always. But for those moments when I'm away, just a little something for you to wear to remind you of me. And to remind others that you're mine and I will chop their heads off if they try and touch you," Johanna smirked, evoking a small laugh from Katniss. It was probably only a small laugh because she knew very well that Johanna actually wasn't joking. If anyone tried to mess with Katniss, she didn't care who they were... they wouldn't be around much longer to share their story, that was for sure.

Johanna pulled out the small box and handed it to Katniss, who opened it.

Immediately, Katniss froze, eyes wide, as she stared into the small box holding the engagement ring.

"Johanna where... what..."

Johanna took her hand, gently pressing her lips to it before speaking, "I love you Katniss. You know that. But I can't think of anything I want more in the world, than to be able to call you my wife. Will you marry me?"

She was trying so hard to read Katniss's emotions right now, but she couldn't. She was shocked, for sure, but other than that she couldn't tell what was going on in her lover's mind. She was like a statue now, frozen in place, staring at the ring. Johanna looked at her, her heart dropping because of Katniss's lack of response.

"Katniss?" Peeta's voice caused her to move a little bit, "This is the part where you answer her question."

With that, Katniss practically fell into Johanna's embrace. She was unable to hold her tears back anymore, but they weren't sad tears, right? Based on the giddy laughter coming from her, she had to be happy.

"Yes," Katniss said, though it barely came out at first because she was all choked up, "Of course I'll marry you!"

Johanna felt her insides start to do that tingling thing again, sending the warm fuzzy feeling all throughout her body. She let out a shocked laugh, as Katniss pulled her head in for a kiss. She was vaguely aware of clapping from their small audience of friends. But every ounce of her thoughts were consumed by Katniss right now. Her lips, her eyes, her body, just everything.

* * *

Everyone else had been long asleep. Haymitch had gone home while everybody else stayed in the guest bedrooms. They had plenty of those anyway.

But Katniss and Johanna had stayed up simply to enjoy each other. Namely, their happiness and the fact that they were together again. Johanna didn't like sleeping without Katniss, and vice versa.

Johanna couldn't believe that she had a fiancèe. She was still somewhat marveling at the fact that Katniss agreed to marry her. She prepared herself for the worst, as usual, because the worst was usually what she had gotten. But now she was completely, utterly, undeniably happy as she lay down in her bed, smiling over at Katniss who was looking lovingly back over towards her.

"I want to get married in District Seven." Katniss said with a whisper.

"You do? Why?"

"Yeah, because that's where my soon-to-be wife is from," the girl smiled.

Just hearing those words brought so much joy to Johanna's usually stone cold heart. No, now it felt warm and alive... like there was some sort of fire running through there. And it was all because of Katniss. "If that's what you want, then we'll make it happen!"

"Well, where would you like it to be?" Katniss was stroking Johanna's face.

Johanna laughed, "Anywhere you are!"

Katniss rolled her body so that she ended up on top of Johanna, pinning both of her arms down above her head. Johanna smirked, but didn't fight back, especially when Katniss lowered her face towards her own. She was planting sweet, soft kisses all over Johanna's face, until she found her lips. It started off gentle, but got a little more fierce as time passed which continued until they were out of breath.

Katniss rested her forehead against Johanna's finally letting go of her arms. She happily wrapped them tight around Katniss's waist.

"You know what the best part of all of this is?" Katniss muttered sweetly.

"Hmm?"

"I get to have you forever."


	51. Chapter 51

"Roses?" Johanna hissed, "You sent me _roses_ for my wedding?"

Sure, Effie Trinket meant no harm. She never did, much like all of the other Hunger Games Escorts. She was bred in the Capitol, she didn't know half of what Johanna knew, even though she had spent some time in District Thirteen. Still, she was oblivious as always.

"Roses are the flower of love!" Effie trilled.

In the back of her mind, Johanna knew that Effie was trying to make a nice gesture. A gift, for Johanna and Katniss since she had come down to help with the planning as soon as she had heard about the engagement. Neither of the women liked having Effie plan for them, since everything was over the top. But she brought up a lot of points that neither had thought about. A lot of important things. So they let her help, Johanna just made it her job to make sure Effie toned it down. But toned down, Effie style, was still a bit much.

Johanna was still seething from this, "I want them gone. Burned. Burn them!"

"Johanna, it's alright..." she heard Katniss say softly from behind her. The comforting hand was soon on her shoulder, "We're in a happy place now, we can't let some flowers ruin our day." She kissed Johanna on the cheek.

"Don't tell me you can't smell that..." Johanna said, scrunching her nose.

Katniss frowned, "It's in your head, love. There's no smell."

"I want them gone," Johanna shook her head, the stench of blood still fresh in her nose. It was just a reflex, it happened every time she saw a rose. Memories of Snow, and the torture, and the roses he left for her every time a loved one of hers was killed. No, roses weren't the flower of love... they were the flower of death.

Effie frowned, but fought back her disappointment, "Alright. What kind of flower would you suggest then?"

Johanna looked at Katniss, who just shrugged. She thought for a moment, and it hit her. "The primrose."

Even Effie was a little stunned by this, but she managed to nod, and carry the large box of roses out. She was likely going to contact the Capitol right away to arrange for the flowers to be delivered in bouquets and bunches. But Johanna didn't care much about what Effie was doing. She turned to see if Katniss was alright, who had tears streaming down her cheeks as expected.

Johanna put her hands gingerly on Katniss's face and used her thumbs to wipe them away. "If you're not alright with that, I can go tell Effie." There were primrose bushes all around the house. Katniss had planted them in memory of her sister. But Johanna hadn't really considered until now, that having those plants at their wedding might just bring Katniss unpleasant memories, much like the Rose would for Jo.

Katniss tucked her body into Johanna's, "It's perfect. Thank you."

Johanna kissed Katniss's head.

"Oh, sorry. I don't mean to interrupt..." Peeta was suddenly standing there.

"Is everything alright Peeta?" Katniss asked, still cuddled up against her lover.

"Yeah," he nodded, "I just need Johanna really quickly. Annie and I... uhh. We're finished."

Johanna nodded and quickly pecked Katniss on the lips before following Peeta to the room he was sharing with Annie.

"It was mostly Annie, I just kind of held stuff for her that she needed to be held and whatnot," Peeta explained as he closed the door behind Johanna.

Annie was sitting on the bed, and she was clapping her hands, giddy like a child. Right next to her was an absolutely stunning wedding dress. Much to Effie's dismay, Johanna insisted on a handcrafted wedding dress. Something to kind of match her "handcrafted" style. They had taken the green dress which Johanna had worn for her final interview with Ceasar, and Annie had done it up a little bit. It didn't look obnoxious at all. Sure, it wasn't the traditional white dress, but Annie assured her that Katniss would be wearing one and a little bit of variety wasn't going to hurt them at all. It looked beautiful though, and Johanna had wanted to wear it because she knew green was Katniss's favorite color.

"Try it on!" Annie shrilled. She was quickly up on her feet, and tugging Johanna's shirt off. They both helped her carefully get into the dress. Annie sighed when she saw Johanna in it, and Peeta had a huge grin on his face.

"What are you smirking at Baker Boy?" Johanna growled.

Peeta laughed at her, "You. It looks wonderful on you!"

Annie led her to the mirror, so she could see it for herself. "You're going to be the most beautiful bride Johanna!" Annie said, looking as if she were about to cry, "I know exactly how I'm going to do your hair and your makeup!"

"Don't get carried away..." She grumbled. She did want to look beautiful for Katniss, but she already knew that Katniss was going to be the most beautiful woman at the event. It was a give -in. She was always the most beautiful woman. Johanna couldn't top that. She couldn't even try. Looking at herself in the mirror, she started to drown herself in the negative thoughts. Yes, the dress was beautiful and it fit her wonderfully. But Johanna couldn't help but feel she was doing it all wrong. "I don't think I can do this." Johanna muttered and started to pull the dress off.

"Do what?" Annie asked, eyes wide.

Johanna was putting her other clothes back on, and Peeta was standing, looking alarmed. "The wedding!" She said, exasperated, "I can't do the wedding. I just... I can't."

"What?" Peeta said, but before he or Annie could do anything, Johanna was out the door and running for the back door of the house.

It was all too much. Johanna couldn't ever be everything Katniss needed. She was sure Katniss didn't realize that yet, but she would. And when she did, she'd break Johanna's heart into a million pieces. Falling in love had always proven to be a bad thing, she had tried not to. Not only that, which she knew was inevitable, but there was the high chance that something terrible would happen at the wedding. Rosaline could show up with her mutts, or worse... Katniss could leave her at the altar. Katniss could opt not to show up, change her mind.

Why let that happen? Why get anybody else hurt? Johanna knew she was being ridiculous, and it was the pre-wedding jitters that were getting the best of her. Which was why she was heading for the backyard. A little bit of fresh air could do her some good.

"Johanna?" Katniss's voice snapped her out of it, causing her to freeze by the door before she opened it.

She heard Katniss's footsteps jogging over to her. She stayed facing the door, frozen. She feared that if she turned around, Katniss would know what she was thinking. She didn't want that. Because she was alright again, just the voice of her lover was enough to bring her back down to Earth again. It stopped her head from spinning and her heart from hurting for absolutely no reason.

Katniss's hand grabbed Johanna's arm and turned her around. Now she had no choice but to look the other girl in the eyes. In her sweet, beautiful eyes...

"Where are you going?" Katniss asked, trying to study Johanna's expression.

She kept her face stoic, "I just need some fresh air."

Katniss nodded, "Can I show you something first?"

"What is it?" Johanna asked, not ready to be bombarded by more wedding decisions. It was all getting to be a bit much.

Katniss led Johanna to the table and forced her to sit in the chair. Katniss sat on her lap and gently pressed her lips against Johanna's. She calmed down again. Sure, the wedding was stressful, and it forced Johanna to her breaking point where she would contemplate running away. But it was all going to be worth it, if it meant she had this for the rest of her life.

Katniss slowly pulled away, "You need to stop stressing out, alright?" Johanna nodded in agreement. "No matter what happens at the wedding, I'll love you still."

"Always have and always will?" Johanna asked with a smirk.

Katniss responded with another kiss, wrapping her arms around Johanna's neck. When she pulled away, this time, she was holding something out towards Johanna while her other arm remained wraped around her shoulder. "I got a little something for you. Because I shouldn't be the only one wearing a ring right now." The ring was beautiful in it's simplicity. The band looked like a tree, with branches stemming off from the sides with the diamond in the middle.

"It's incredible Katniss." Johanna smiled, letting her fiancee slip the ring on her finger.

Katniss held the hand up, kissing it right on top of the ring. "That's a lot better. I don't need people thinking you're available. I don't want to have to fight all the boys and girls off of you or anything."

Johanna laughed, "Please! There is nobody even remotely interested in me, nor will there ever be."

Katniss's brow furrowed, "Okay, don't sell yourself short. I don't think you see yourself for what you truly are. You're gorgeous, you're smart, you're loving, and you're intense but it's a good thing. You're also mine, so don't think you can go running off to other people. Alright?"

"I wouldn't even dare," Johanna assured her, pressing her forehead on Katniss's as she wrapped her arms tight around her waist. "The ring is beautiful."

"I'm glad you like it, I designed it!" Katniss smiled, "Haymitch helped me make it."

"You did this?" Johanna was stunned, but super happy at this news. "You're amazing!"

Katniss smiled, "I wanted you to have it before I left."

"Where are you going?" Johanna asked, the happiness immediately being washed away.

Katniss pecked at her lips, "I can't tell you." She kissed her longer, probably trying to prevent Johanna from asking more questions. Which she was full of. Where was Katniss going? Why was Katniss going? Why couldn't Johanna go? Was it important?

She felt like they had just gotten reunited, even though they weren't apart for long it had felt like forever. She didn't want Katniss to leave her side. Ever. She couldn't protect Katniss if she wasn't with her.


	52. Chapter 52

Waking up alone was one of the worst feelings. Johanna had to keep reminding herself that it was only temporary.

It had been three days since Katniss went away to who knows where doing who knows what. The days were dragging on, things seemed to come to a standstill. The only saving grace was the ring around Johanna's finger, which she often found herself staring at. It was Katniss's way of telling her that she would be back. Even if it didn't feel like it.

The worst part of all of this was that Katniss had taken just about everybody with her. Peeta, Annie, Ms. Everdeen, and even Effie. Haymitch stayed at his place, though he would sometimes come by and check up on her, or bring her some dinner. No matter how many times Johanna asked about Katniss, he wouldn't budge. She just wanted to know what was going on.

She sat in her bed, feeling rather lonely right now. She didn't really want to get up, but it was getting towards the afternoon and Johanna needed to eat something. She grumbled as she got out of bed, her hair and clothes all looking especially messy.

When she got to the living room, she was rather surprised to see a little boy crawling around in there.

"Kellen?" She muttered, rubbing her eyes. She prayed that she wasn't seeing things now.

"Oh! Look who finally decided to get up!" A peppy voice chimed from the living room. Annie stood up, smiling at Johanna. "You look... we should get you cleaned up."

"Annie?" Johanna was surprised to see her back. "What are you doing here?"

"I just got back this morning!" She hugged Johanna, immediately scrunching her nose, "Johanna you need to take a shower."

"Oh, I don't -"

"It's alright, Katniss warned me that might be an issue. I can help you out." Annie smiled. She picked Kellen up, and grabbed Johanna's hand with her free hand.

"Katniss... where is she?" Johanna asked.

"I can't say."

Johanna frowned, "Why not?"

"Can you please just do what I ask you and not ask questions?" Annie demanded.

Johanna shook her head, "I want to know where my fiancee is and if she's safe and..."

"She's fine, now come on. Stop asking questions." Annie dragged her back upstairs to her bedroom, then into the bathroom. She started to force Johanna's shirt off, but Johanna fought back.

"I'm not going to do anything until you tell me what's going on." Johanna argued.

"What's going on is that I'm going to give you a bath. Don't make me call Haymitch." Annie threatened. Johanna knew she wasn't bluffing. Haymitch would be able to pin her down, he was a lot stronger. Not like he hadn't seen her naked before but she really didn't want Haymitch and Annie ripping her clothes off while Kellen was sitting nearby watching. It was like a bad scene in a movie. Finally, she agreed and stopped fighting back. Annie gave her a kiss on the cheek, "Good girl!"

The bath was miserable. But that wasn't even the worst part. After, Annie started to do Johanna's hair, styling it in a way that she never really like to style it. "Okay, what the hell are you doing?"

"I'm just doing your hair, relax."

"You're trying to make me look like a doll." Johanna ran her fingers through her hair, to mess it up a little bit.

Annie groaned, "Will you stop being such a big baby?"

"I'm capable of doing my own hair!" Johanna snapped. Annie sat down with her arms crossed and watched as Johanna finished doing her hair. "There, that was much faster."

Annie rolled her eyes, "Put some real clothes on, and pack a couple extras."

"Why?"

"I'm taking you home, Jo."

Johanna frowned, "But I am home."

Annie smiled, "Your childhood home."

* * *

Johanna stood in the rubble of a place she hadn't dared set foot in since the day it burned down.

The people of District 7 had left the Village in ashes, as a memorium to remind them of tragedy they had suffered because of one arrogant peacekeeper. A reminder, throughout the war, of what they were fighting for. Now that they were in peacetime, the members of District 7 had voted to clean it up, and rebuild. Annie had brought Johanna to her childhood home the day before the cleanup was to begin.

Nobody had touched anything in this house. Johanna was the only one who had a right to. She remembered Jaxon had wanted to come down several times to pick up some of their belongings, but Johanna had never let him. She was afraid of what she would find.

She wasn't so afraid now, brushing through the rubble. There were little trinkets scattered, shattered. Dishes, silverware, toys. She looked up at Annie who was holding Kellen nearby. She gave Johanna a reassuring smile. She picked up a couple of the children's toys and put them in her bag. She wasn't sure if she'd ever need them, but a small token as a reminder of her little brothers.

Not too far, hidden only slightly by the rubble, was a shining picture frame. There she was, age four, with her parents who looked young and happy. She smiled at the photo, stuffing it in the bag. She felt like she had found all she needed, when a sparkle caught her eye. She kneeled down, picking up the shiny item. A warm feeling ran through her body. It was her mother's wedding ring. Simple, small, but she could remember her mother wearing it with pride because it was a gift from the man she had loved so much.

A tear escaped her eye and rolled down her cheek. She wiped it away before standing up and placing the ring in her bag as well.

"You all set?" Annie asked as Johanna approached her. Johanna nodded. "Are you okay?"

"I'm good." Johanna sighed, but this time she actually meant it. Before meeting Katniss, she probably would have crumbled into a million pieces trying to do what she had just done, sorting through the memories of those she had lost.

"Alright, come with me then!" Annie said, taking her hand.

They walked hand in hand through the streets of District 7. A few people looked up at her, some in awe, as she passed. It had been a while since she'd been back home, but her face wasn't so easily forgotten. Maybe in a few more years people would forget. But they were smiling at her, nodding in greeting as she passed. For the first time she really felt like they did accept her here, that they weren't so much afraid of her as she thought they were. Not that Johanna would willingly move back here so fast, but she wouldn't be so hesitant to come back and pay a visit to them.

"What's this Annie?" Johanna asked, looking at the orchard where she had worked before she was reaped. It was beautiful, but now there were chairs everywhere. It was beautifully decorated...

"It's where you're going to get married!" Annie trilled, laughing.

Johanna smiled, "Who's been setting this up?"

"Who do you think?"

"Katniss..." Of course, Johanna knew it had to have been Katniss. But they weren't supposed to get married for another couple of months, there was no way this would last that long.

"Now," Annie said, tugging on her hand, "I need to get you out of here before the guests start to arrive."

"The guests?"

"Yep," Annie laughed, "What you thought I brought you here just for your old house?"

"Annie... no. I'm not ready." Johanna said, a strong wave of disbelief washing over her. This couldn't be happening. Why was she being blindsided by this? She wasn't prepared at all, she was still two months away from being prepared for any of this.

"Well, you have two hours to get ready!" Annie said, pulling her along, "That's when your wedding starts."


	53. Chapter 53

**Author's Note: I just wanted to say really quickly that I'm sorry I haven't updated these past few chapters as frequently. I've just gotten really busy with work and life. So hopefully this chapter (longest so far) makes up for it :) Hope you guys enjoy the wedding!  
**

* * *

"Oh wow..." Annie breathed, stepping back and admiring her work on Johanna, "You look incredible."

Johanna didn't want to look in the mirror. She was afraid of what she might see... some dolled up version of herself that was going to trigger some sort of hidden insecurity which would cause her to bolt out and hop on the first train to District Twelve.

That was highly unlikely, right? Still, she wasn't going to risk it.

She was still trying to recover from the fact that she was being surprised with a wedding. Her own wedding. And it was happening in half an hour. She didn't know how weddings worked. She'd been to more funerals in her time. Those she understood. The weddings? Not so much, because she tended to not pay much attention to the ceremony part. What was she even going to say to Katniss?

"Can I see her yet?" Johanna impatiently asked.

Annie laughed, "Soon! The wedding will start shortly. I think all of the guests are getting here right now."

"How is it that everybody knew about my wedding... except for me?" Johanna grumbled.

"Katniss is sneaky like that."

"Why did it have to be a surprise. Isn't this something we're supposed to plan together?" Johanna was still trying to make sense of all of this.

Annie went over Johanna, doing last minute touch ups, "She incorporated everything you wanted into it. As for why it's a surprise? I don't know. You'll have to ask her. If I had to guess, I think she was just getting impatient."

"Impatient?"

"Well, yeah!" Annie laughed, "She just wants to marry you already but... you know. I think it's cute."

Johanna rolled her eyes, but there was a warm feeling inside of her, if what Annie said was true.

"You look beautiful Johanna. Absolutely stunning." Annie sighed, patting her cheek, "You're one heck of a beautiful bride."

Johanna smiled, genuinely at Annie. "Thank you. Even though I don't understand what's going on, thank you for everything."

Annie smiled back, but a knock on the door interrupted their moment.

"Wow. Johanna you look amazing!" Peeta beamed as he walked in. He was holding a bouquet of flowers, and handed it to her. "For you."

"What's this for?" Johanna asked, eyeing the bundle in her arms.

"When you walk down the aisle. Then you hand it to the person who's walked you down, all that." Peeta said and Johanna gave him a weird look, "I don't know, that's what Effie said."

"See, this is why weddings have rehearsals." Johanna huffed.

Peeta laughed, "Well you can always postpone it but before you do, just know that Katniss put a lot of effort into it, she barely slept over these past few days trying to get everything perfect for you."

"I'm not going to postpone it. It's... a nice gesture." Johanna shrugged.

Peeta put his hand on her shoulder, "You'll be fine Johanna."

She smiled, but it dropped as a daunting thought crossed her mind. She didn't have anybody to walk her down the aisle. Usually it was the father who walked the bride, but neither bride had a father. "Peeta, who am I handing these flowers to?"

"Ah," Peeta clasped his hands together, "That's for you to decide. We didn't want to force anything on you. Katniss requested that Haymitch walk with her, so you can have anyone else. I mean, it's not like it's a traditional wedding. You can have Annie walk you if you want!"

Johanna looked at Annie. She would be too busy with Kellen. Besides, she was starting to get shaky and queasy. She needed someone sturdy, to hold her up and help her get across the aisle without collapsing. It wasn't that long of a walk, but she was starting to have doubts about whether or not she'd make it.

"Will you do it?" She asked Peeta, almost instinctively.

Peeta seemed surprised like this. He surely wasn't expecting her to ask him, of all people. She expected him to decline, after all that had happened... but he did say he was always going to be her friend, didn't he? "I'd be honored to." Peeta said with a burst of confidence. His confidence seemed to rub off on her, and she felt a little better about the whole thing.

"I know this is weird, being a compliment and all. So I'm only going to say it once," Johanna spoke in something of a whisper, "You're a special kind of person, Peeta. A rare gem. You really do deserve the best."

Peeta smiled, "So do you, Jo."

* * *

Peeta was sturdy indeed. Johanna reminded herself to thank him later, because she knew she was shaking uncontrollably before walking down the aisle. But when Peeta's arm linked around hers, he held her up in such a way that he could drag her and still make her look good.

She smiled at all of the guests who were there. A few of her old neighbors and schoolmates from District 7. Some neighbors from District 12. Plutarch. Effie. Ms. Everdeen. Gale. She spotted Aris in the back, who she was surprised to see alive. Some of the Council had shown up, which left a sour taste in her mouth, but she wasn't going to let that spoil her day. Annie was sitting up in the front, with her perfect little boy right beside her. She gave Johanna a reassuring smile as she got up to the altar, handing the bouquet to Peeta, like he'd told her to. He planted a kiss on her cheek, and took his seat beside Annie.

Within seconds, everybody's head turned back to the entrance. It was time for the person they all really came here to see. Johanna could be jealous, but she couldn't blame them. Katniss was quite a sight to see.

But she wasn't expecting this to take her breath away like that.

Immediately, her eyes fell on Katniss, and it was as if there was nobody else in the room. For a moment she literally forgot how to breathe, until the pain in her lungs snapped her out of it. Her eyes were glued on the beautiful woman walking up towards her, in the elegant white dress, epitomizing the meaning of perfection. She couldn't help but marvel in the fact that it was all for her.

Her eyes locked onto Katniss's, who couldn't seem to look away from Johanna, even as Haymitch was taking her flowers. There was this beautiful glow about her. She just seemed so happy. Every ounce of doubt Johanna ever had was washed away. This was what they were meant to do. Every moment in Johanna's life was just leading up to this one. And the feeling was euphoric.

Her hand slid easily into Katniss's, as she stepped up beside Johanna.

"I've missed you, gorgeous." Johanna said, managing a sly smirk.

Katniss smiled, "I'm sorry about all of this."

"Don't be." Johanna said, but couldn't say more as the ceremony began.

Johanna had assumed that since it was her own wedding, she might be paying more attention to the ceremony. But she couldn't. She couldn't keep her eyes off of Katniss, and thoughts were running rampant throughout her mind.

When it came time for the vows, Katniss delivered a beautiful one: "Johanna, when we met you were rash, unforgiving, and brutally honest. Let's face it, that hasn't changed a bit." The audience chuckled, and Johanna gave a dramatic eye roll, though she knew very well it was true. "I thought, because of all of this, that I hated you for so long. But I came to learn that I never hated you, I just hated me for allowing myself to fall in love with someone like you... because you were the first person I'd met that made me feel so powerless. But I've come to learn it's not a bad thing. I got to know one of the kindest, most loving people I've ever known. You're beautiful, inside and out. And I'm honored to be able to spend the rest of my life with you. I promise to love you every second of every day, for the rest of our lives."

Johanna was in awe, watching Katniss speak about her in such a kind way. People didn't use kind words to describe Johanna. But it was her turn, and she hadn't prepared this yet, so the words just spilled out of her mouth: "Katniss. My beautiful Katniss. I can't believe I'm standing here with you, right now, about to make you my wife. But more so, I can't believe you haven't turned around and run off yet." Laughter from the audience. It wasn't that funny, but Johanna wouldn't have been surprised if that was a running joke among some of the guests. "I loved you from the moment I met you, it just took me a little while to realize it, because I was planning a way to kill you when I met you. Naked. In the elevator." More laughter, although she was sure most of the guests were confused. It sounded wrong, and not quite like how it had actually gone down, but she was going to let them think whatever they wanted. "From the moment I met you, I've wanted nothing more than to drown in your love. We've had ups and downs, like most relationships. But I love you when I'm happy with you, and I love you just as much when I'm mad at you. You've changed the way I see everything. But most importantly... all that pain I've been through in the past, it's worth it now, to be able to stand here with you. I love you, with everything I have... everything I am."

Johanna felt like she had been rambling a little bit, but Katniss understood it. Katniss wasn't able to hold it in anymore, as tears seemed to flow freely from her eyes now. Johanna gently wiped them away, still fighting her own tears back. It wouldn't be so bad if she cried a little bit. They would be happy tears... pure joy. She'd _never_ been so happy that she's cried before. Until now, because she couldn't hold it back anymore.

They exchange the rings, which Johanna had smartly swapped out the fancy Capitol ring and put her mother's ring there instead. It had a lot more meaning to it, and she knew that her mother would understand, and would be so happy for her. _"My precious baby!"_ She could almost hear her mother say, _"My baby getting married! You'd better give her my ring or so help you!"_

Finally, they got to the part Johanna had been waiting for the entire time. She'd been dying to kiss Katniss from the second she saw her, but knew that she couldn't or Effie would have a hissy fit. But finally, they said their "I do's" and then -

"You may now kiss the bride!"

Johanna didn't wait a second longer and pulled Katniss close to her, kissing her with every ounce of love and passion she had built up in her. She didn't care about the people watching, or any of that nonsense. It was just her, and Katniss. Forever.

* * *

"Holy shit," Johanna mumbled.

Katniss was sitting on her lap, cuddled up into her. "What?"

"I'm married..." She seemed to be in shock, though the ceremony only ended minutes ago.

"Hey guess what, me too!" Katniss laughed, pressing her lips to Johanna's, "I love you so much."

"I love you more," Johanna smirked, stealing another kiss.

"Impossible." Katniss muttered.

Johanna stroked up and down Katniss's waist. They were waiting for the wedding guests to move to the reception area, and everybody had given them a little bit of alone time before they went out and had their first dance. After that, the party could begin.

"I just want to know something." Johanna stated, resting her head against Katniss.

"Anything."

"Why the rush?"

Katniss sighed, "Do you wish we'd waited?"

"No," Johanna shook her head, moving her hands up to Katniss's face. "I don't think it's physically possible for me to be more happy. I've smiled more in these past couple of hours than I have in my entire life. And that's all thanks to you. I wouldn't change today for anything. I was just... surprised." Katniss leaned down and kissed Johanna.

"I got anxious. I wish I had a good excuse. All I can say is that I literally just couldn't wait any longer to be your wife." Katniss shrugged, "I guess I could have asked you about moving the date up, but I was worried you'd say no and then you'd over think things... and you know how you get when you over think things."

Johanna nodded, "I'm not mad. I'm happy."

"You want to know something embarassing?" Katniss asked, a smile playing at her lips, "My mom started asking me about kids."

"What?"

"When? How many? How?" Katniss rolled her eyes and laughed. Johanna couldn't hold back her own laugh either. "I told her you didn't want any."

Johanna scoffed, "Don't pin that on me! If you really want kids then eventually we could think about having one."

"But I don't."

"I know, so why did you tell her that?" Johanna frowned, "I don't want her to hate me."

"Because she would have scolded me. And trust me, she doesn't hate you. She couldn't." Katniss reassured her, stroking her chin. "Do you want kids?"

Johanna shrugged, "They're kind of a pain in the ass and I really don't feel like dealing with the pregnancy or diaper changes or any of that. But... they're not all that bad I guess. I mean, look at Kellen."

Katniss nodded, and snuck in a kiss. "You're cute with kids anyway. Almost makes me want to have some. Almost."

Johanna laughed, "I'd be perfectly happy spending the rest of my life with you, and only you." With that, her lips found Katniss's again. She figured they'd be there practically the entire night.

* * *

The first dance went as well as it could have gone, for an unrehearsed number coming from someone who really wasn't great with dancing.

Then, the festivities began! Everybody seemed to want to dance with Katniss, though most of them went and congratulated Johanna as well. Even Gale, though his congratulations weren't very heartfelt. Johanna planned to sit back and watch Katniss dance around with the wedding guests, whenever she wasn't dancing with Katniss herself. But her friends wouldn't let her.

She spent a lot of time with Annie, who seemed thrilled to be there. She danced a little bit with baby Kellen, who could barely stand on his feet. She danced a few times with Peeta as well, and even managed a dance with Haymitch and Plutarch. But the highlight of her night was every time Katniss was in her embrace. Their lips found each other almost immediately, even after being separated only for minutes. Johanna knew that was going to cause trouble, because she would have to be separated from Katniss in the future, but she couldn't imagine being just one room over right now. She needed this woman with her, holding her...

"I love you Katniss," Johanna whispered, kissing her softly as they danced to a slow song. Her feet were getting sore, but she wasn't going to stop, not with Katniss in her arms.

"I love you too," Katniss murmured between kisses.

Johanna smiled, "Thank you for all of this. This is, by far, the happiest day of my life and there's not a thing in this world that could ruin that."

She meant it as she said it, but she spoke only a second too soon. Because, right as the words fell out of her mouth, a chill ran up her spine and her gaze shifted to the back entrance.

Directly in her line of sight, wild eyes staring right back at her... the young, bedraggled and dirty girl, barely recognizable but still completely unmistakable. Rosaline Snow.


	54. Chapter 54

Johanna stood frozen, with Katniss still in her embrace.

Katniss looked up at Johanna, studying her face. "What's wrong, Jo?" When there was no answer, she followed Johanna's gaze and gasped. Katniss looked back at Johanna, who couldn't seem to move still, "Johanna?"

Her gaze fell to Katniss. She looked a little lost and confused. Rosaline was still standing there, watching them. She hadn't caught the attention of the other guests yet. She felt like she needed to before they saw her...

Then, a scream rang out.

All eyes flew to the source of the scream. _Annie. _

Johanna looked over, to see her clutching Kellen tight, as a large white foxlike muttation walked towards her. It was looking at her, growling, turning it's gaze to a couple other wedding guests. Peeta was at her side instantly, putting himself in between her and the mutt. It was pacing back and forth.

A few more screams came from the other side of the room, as a few more mutts slowly walked towards the guests, baring their sharp teeth. There was a mix of them, all sorts of animals, just far deadlier than the original versions. And they were all here pacing around.

Johanna looked back at Rosaline, who was standing calmly, watching the events unfold. Then, she saw it. She saw a glimpse of the future. Rosaline would unleash the mutts on the wedding guests. They were utterly defenseless, and all of them would die. Johanna and everyone she cared about, all at once, all because she had chosen to abandon the young girl. But Rosaline wouldn't stop there. She'd realize what she had done, and the little bit of humanity left in her would turn to darkness. She'd raise her mutt army until they were strong enough to fight, and she'd unleash them on the Districts, the Capitol... she'd take back the power, using fear to get everybody to obey her. She'd be a far stronger version of her Grandfather.

Johanna let go of Katniss and strode over to the girl, right as a man pulled out a gun and aimed it at her. "No!" Johanna yelled. It was enough to startle the man enough so that he didn't fire.

"Good call," Rosaline shrugged, "If I die, the mutts have no connection anymore. Nobody controlling them. They'd go mad and kill everybody here."

Johanna looked at the man, "Put your damn gun down!" He did and backed away. She turned to Rosaline, kneeling in front of her, "What are you doing?"

"You left me to die." Rosaline said, the pain in her voice was evident.

"I didn't leave you to die."

A tear fell down Rosaline's cheek, "They sentenced me to death, for treason against the Districts."

"What?" Johanna frowned. Rosaline hadn't done anything wrong, Johanna knew that. All she had done was say something that pissed her off, and made her leave Rosaline behind. She had regretted the decision ever since. But she hadn't been aware that they planned to terminate Rosaline because Johanna didn't take her back with her. "Why would they do that?"

"Because the deal was that you take care of me, or they get rid of me." She was crying now, the tears running through the dirt on her face. Kellen's crying rang out through the air, and Johanna looked over at him. Annie was trying to comfort him, and Peeta was dangerously close to the mutt. Within seconds he could have his throat ripped out.

"Call them off, please." Johanna begged, "Let's talk this out. You don't need to do this. If you don't like what I have to say, then you can kill me. But let these people go."

"I was never going to kill you." Rosaline muttered. But the sighs of relief were heard throughout, as the mutts retreated back into the forest. A couple of the guests immediately got up and left. Plutarch was giving out directions to the guests, telling them to remain calm. Clearly, the wedding was over. This was not how she anticipated it's ending. But at least nobody was hurt. Yet.

Johanna looked back at Katniss, who was standing in place. Haymitch walked up behind her and comforted her. She started to cry into his shoulder. Johanna wanted to be with her and comfort her, but she didn't want to leave Rosaline alone right now. The girl was unstable, and she needed to make sure that she didn't unleash the mutts on anybody.

Rosaline sighed, "I knew you were going to marry her." Johanna didn't really know what to say to her right now. "You guys look beautiful by the way. Sorry I ruined it." Still nothing from Johanna, who kept glancing back at Katniss. Rosaline rolled her eyes, "Geez. Just go be with her, I'll wait."

She folded her arms, but that was all Johanna needed, and she was up, pulling Katniss away from Haymitch, and wrapping her arms around her. "I'm so sorry Katniss."

"I just wanted this to be perfect for you," she said through her sobs, her makeup running.

Johanna wiped her face, "It was! It's okay, I'm going to make everything alright." She gently pressed her lips against Katniss's. "I love you, alright, and this was still the best night of my life. It would have been a little weird if everything had gone perfectly, right?" Katniss nodded and managed an awkward laugh, Johanna's favorite kind of laugh. "This is normal." She smiled, and kissed her new wife again. "I'll see you back at my old house in a little bit?"

"No, I want to stay here with you!" Katniss argued, grasping onto her hands tightly.

"Please." Johanna whispered.

Haymitch took Katniss by the arm and tugged her away, "I'll keep her there." She was fighting against him, and Johanna almost wanted to change her mind. But he understood exactly what Johanna did, that she needed to be alone with Rosaline right now, no matter how dangerous it was.

Johanna could still hear Katniss screaming and calling out her name, even though she was out of sight, until finally there was silence, and it was just Johanna left with Rosaline.

"Now that everyone's safe, are you going to kill me?" Rosaline asked.

"No," Johanna answered simply. Rosaline seemed to relax. "Why did you have to come today? Of all days, why today?"

"I was going to approach you a few days ago, but I saw Katniss leaving," Rosaline sighed, "So I followed her, and I learned about the wedding and everything. I didn't think you'd take me seriously unless I did something drastic. I guess I have a taste for the theatrics, it's in my blood." Considering who her grandfather was, that seemed like a reasonable enough explanation for Johanna.

"Well if you were trying to get my attention, you did." Johanna muttered. Rosaline just sighed. She seemed to have matured ages in just a matter of months. It was almost as if Johanna didn't recognize her. "So if you didn't come to kill me, what is it that you wanted?"

Rosaline's gaze dropped to the ground, "Well I don't expect you to take me back."

"You tried to split me and Katniss up," Johanna snarled.

"Not really. I just gave them a suggestion. I thought you might get hurt in the end, but obviously I was wrong!" Rosaline retorted, "I've only ever cared about you, even though you've hurt me."

"I'm sorry, I really am." Johanna whispered, toning her harshness down.

"Well, I don't want to come back. You're happy with Katniss, and things won't be the same with me there." She said.

Johanna shrugged, "I don't know..."

"No, I don't want to come back yet. I need to figure out how to humanely kill these mutts before they multiply too much." She muttered, "Then maybe my conscience will be cleared enough. I need to do something right for once."

"Maybe I can help." Johanna suggested.

Rosaline shook her head, "That's kind of why I'm here. I mean, I need to get rid of them on my own. My Grandfather created them and I need to be the one to destroy them, but there's one thing I can't figure out." Johanna nodded before Rosaline continued, "I wanted to see you again because I do miss you, and even Katniss, but mostly, I came back because I needed to show you something. I was hoping you could help... help me make things right."

"What?"

"Stand behind me." Rosaline ordered, and Johanna obeyed, though confused.

Within seconds, the sound of heavy footsteps echoed out throughout the night. Someone or something was trudging towards them. It stepped out into the light, and Johanna had to squint her eyes, head cocked to the side slightly. It couldn't be.

"They came to me only after I escaped from the Council." Rosaline explained. A cold fear washed over Johanna. She was horrified, looking upon Snow's creation. He had likely created this during the uprising, knowing that these mutts would strike fear into the hearts of his enemies. And he couldn't have been more right. "They can speak, but it's like talking to a child. I'd have to teach them words, and I did with some of them on my free time. They don't have much of a conscience. So I think they're just the bodies, altered by my Grandpa. What used to be inside them is no longer there."

Johanna didn't know if she believed it or not. Beacuse, apart from the claw-like nails, the sharp teeth, and the blood red eyes, Johanna was fairly sure she was looking at her dead brother, Jaxon, walking towards her.

"This is why I'm here." Rosaline said softly, looking up at Johanna, "How am I supposed to exterminate an entire pack of former tributes?"


	55. Chapter 55

Johanna had a sick feeling in her stomach.

The thought of dozens of dead tributes being dug up, their bodies experimented on until they were living, breathing creatures, unaware of their past lives. Basically, she was standing in front of a zombie. Snow's version.

"I'm sorry Rosaline, but your Grandpa was a sick man." Johanna muttered, looking away. She couldn't look at him. Jaxon looked alive, despite the fact that he looked as if he were just standing there, waiting for orders. He didn't recognize Johanna... because it wasn't Jaxon. It was just his body, inhabited by something else now.

"I know," Rosaline shrugged, "I wish he hadn't done this to me."

"How many of these are there?" Johanna asked, still only looking at Rosaline, not at the mutt.

She shrugged again, "A good four dozen maybe. All very recognizable, the younger ones. I think I figured that my Grandpa wanted them to be recognizable so when he unleashed them, his enemies would falter upon seeing them. Then... the mutts would rip them apart. Could you imagine seeing Corin all of the sudden after she's been dead so long, and then BAM! She starts to kill you."

Johanna jumped at this, not wanting to think about it. "Can we not talk about that please?"

"I'm sorry," Rosaline frowned, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," She nodded. She didn't want to see them, the rest of the mutts. Seeing Jaxon's body was enough to scar her for days now. So she changed the subject. "How many other mutts do you have?"

"Five or six other packs of different breeds, all pretty lethal," Rosaline mused.

Johanna sighed, and thought about it for a moment, "Why can't they kill each other?"

"What?"

"Turn them on each other. Have them kill each other until only one is left," Johanna explained.

"That sounds wrong..." Rosaline looked sad. She did have a big heart, and just because her last name was Snow, a lot of people seemed to overlook that fact.

Johanna bit down on her lip, "That's what Snow did to us. Humans. And we're living, breathing, AND capable of controlling our thoughts and emotions, unlike them-" She pointed at the mutt, "Turn them on each other. The survivor will probably be too injured to last long. And if it isn't, I'll put my axe through it. Then you'll be free."

Rosaline was silent for a while. Then, without word, she closed her eyes. The forest around them suddenly erupted into shrieks, cries of pain from all sorts of different breeds of mutts. Johanna looked up at Jaxon, who had turned his body to face the forest. One of the fox-mutts jumped out and lunged at him. He tackled the fox and wrapped his arms around it, crushing it with incredible strength. Just then, a second mutt jumped out at him... decapitating him.

Johanna closed her eyes and turned away. She knew it wasn't her brother. But she had to keep reminding herself. Seeing his body get torn up wasn't something she wanted to see, although he was already dead. She was definitely going to have more nightmares after this.

Rosaline started to whimper next to her, until she burst out in a full blown fit. Johanna wasn't sure how this connection with the mutts worked, but she had a feeling that there was some sort of mental and physical pain inside of Rosaline right now.

She grabbed the young girl by the arm, "Let's get out of here, okay?"

"I should stay wi-"

"No. You're coming with me Rosaline." Johanna demanded. She nodded, which was good. Johanna never wanted to get away from somewhere so fast in her life.

* * *

"I should seriously slap you right now!" Katniss groaned when Johanna walked through the door. Despite her angered tone, she was quickly in Johanna's embrace, the only place she wanted her to be.

Rosaline stood awkwardly by the door.

They were in Johanna's old home in Victor's Village. It hadn't been touched since she'd left it, which was convenient for them, but somebody could make better use of the place.

Johanna hadn't forgotten that tonight was her wedding night, even with everything that had happened, she had meant it when she said it was still the best night of her life. Katniss was a bit of a wreck, but Johanna was going to do everything she could to make it up to her.

"What's she doing here?" Peeta's voice rang out from behind Katniss.

Johanna looked up at him. She hadn't noticed that Peeta and Annie were in the living room. Her eyes had gone immediately to Katniss, and she hadn't taken them off of her until then. She looked back at Rosaline, "It's alright, she's fine."

"I don't want her near Kellen." Peeta said bluntly. Of all people, she hadn't expected him to be the one to react so coldly. She would've expected that from Katniss, probably, or even Annie. But not Peeta.

"She can't hurt him!" Johanna defended her, "The mutts are dead. Or... dying. She took care of them."

"And how do you know this?" Peeta asked, arms folded.

Johanna groaned, "Because I watched it happen!"

She could see Katniss eyeing Rosaline from the corner of her eye. She realized that, as much as she wanted to help Rosaline, she'd always have a soft spot, her life was about Katniss now. She'd make any sort of sacrifice for her, including making sure Rosaline was out of their lives for good, if she had to. She hoped that wasn't the case, and at least they could relocate Rosaline to a family in District Twelve. Somewhere she would be able to visit with the girl.

"I still think she's too dangerous." Peeta shrugged.

With that, Katniss removed herself from Johanna's embrace, and squatted down in front of Rosaline.

"You look hungry, are you hungry?" She said in a sweet tone to the girl. Johanna squinted. That wasn't what she was expecting. Rosaline nodded, "Alright, want to come see what we have to eat? Then maybe we can give you a nice bath."

Katniss held out her hand, and Rosaline took it.

"There's no food in here," Annie muttered, standing up. She handed Kellen over to Peeta and walked to Rosaline, holding her own hand out, "Nobody's lived here for a while. All the food is bad. But why don't you come with me, across the street to where Haymitch, Peeta, and I are staying? I'll fix you up something to eat."

Rosaline looked up at Annie, but she seemed a little frightened, "Thanks but if Peeta doesn't want me there then I don't want to make him upset."

"If Peeta doesn't want you there, then he can sleep outside!" Annie laughed. Rosaline smiled at this, and looked at Johanna for approval.

"Are you sure, Annie?" Johanna asked, walking over to Katniss's side, instinctively lacing their fingers together.

Annie nodded, "I think you two could use some alone time." There was almost some sort of smirk on Annie's face.

Johanna rolled her eyes, "Thanks for taking care of her."

"Of course!" Annie smiled, "Oh, and I fixed the house up a bit for you. You'll see what I mean when you get there." Annie winked, and kissed Johanna lightly on the lips, as friendly and uninviting as a kiss could be. But Johanna was still taken aback.

"Hey!" Katniss muttered.

Annie only laughed, and started to usher everybody else out the door. Peeta didn't look too happy, but Johanna trusted Annie enough to take care of Rosaline for her. "Alright, have a good night you two!"

"Good night Annie," Johanna waved as they walked out the door. Katniss was resting her head on Johanna's shoulder, their hands still intertwined. They stood there for a moment before they looked at each other and laughed. "See, tonight wasn't so bad!"

Katniss's smile dropped momentarily, "Yeah, but all of our wedding guests almost got... eaten."

"No," Johanna shook her head, "I think I handled that pretty well. I mean, it had to end with a bang. Hell... we could tell them that we planned it!" She smiled, saying everything she could to try and comfort her new wife.

"Are you happy?" Katniss asked, twisting her body so that hers was pressed against Johanna's, her arms wrapped around her waist.

Johanna closed her eyes, resting her head against Katniss, "I've never been happier. You?"

There was a long silence, and Johanna's heart dropped for a moment. She was actually really nervous, waiting for Katniss to answer. More nervous than she had been for the wedding itself. Then - "I don't think I could get any happier, Jo. I realized, while I was worried sick about you alone with Rosaline and the mutts... I realized that it doesn't matter what happens, good or bad, as long as I'm with you, as long as I still have you at the end of the day, I will always be happy."

Johanna smiled, and held Katniss's face up in her hands, "I love you so much." Even if she was a little shaken by what happened, what she witnessed, she wasn't going to tell Katniss about it. At least, not yet. Tonight, they deserved to be happy in love. Johanna wasn't going to take that away from her.

"I love you too!" Katniss said, a huge smile on her face. Just the way Johanna liked it. She pressed her lips against Katniss, not trying to be gentle about it at all. "What do you say to getting out of these dressed and cracking open a bottle of fine champagne?"

"I say that sounds like a great idea!" She laughed, kissing Katniss again, and again. She didn't want to stop, as she held her as close to her as possible. But they did stop, so that they could walk upstairs, hand in hand. Though it took them a while to get up there, as they would often stop and share a passionate kiss or two.

Johanna got to the bedroom door, she was pretty sure there would still be some clothes for them to change into in there. She opened it, and caught a glimpse inside, immediately slamming the door shut.

"What's wrong?" Katniss asked.

"We can't go in there." Johanna said, her eyes wide. Her heart was beating rapidly right now, and she started to feel incredibly nervous all the sudden. Why was she so nervous and jittery today? Being with Katniss was the one thing she was certain she needed, so why did any of this make her nervous? Because it shouldn't have, at all.

Katniss pushed past her, being the brave one for the night, "What's in there?" She opened the door and walked in, letting go of Johanna's hand, who stayed outside the door. "Oh my..." She said, then started laughing.

Johanna looked in the room again, getting a better look. It was disgusting. There were flower petals sprinkled all over the room and candles provided enough light. The bed was neatly made, and not the sheets Johanna remembered having. They looked like some sort of soft silky kind. "Fucking Annie..." Johanna muttered under her breath.

Katniss was exploring the room. Johanna couldn't help but admire how incredible Katniss looked in the glow of the candlelight. She didn't really realize she was staring in awe at her. Katniss finally looked up at her and smirked, "Are you going to be standing there all night, or are you going to join me in here?"

Johanna didn't answer, getting brought back to Earth by Katniss speaking to her.

"Get in here!" Katniss demanded, but there was no harshness to her tone. Johanna could only smile, even though she felt kind of ridiculous for being nervous at all. She always had such a tough exterior, and she wanted people to think that she didn't get scared or nervous. But she was allowed to be that way sometimes, and only Katniss could help her to realize that it was alright, she was only human. And she knew Katniss was going to love her no matter what.

"Fine, if you insist!" Johanna finally sighed playfully, and strutted into the room, right into the arms of her lover.


	56. Chapter 56

A terrible screaming woke Johanna up.

As she sat in the bed, clutching at the sheets, eyes wide and breathing heavily, she realized it was her own screams that had woken her up. Looking around, she noticed that the candles had since gone out in the room. It was dark and cold. She put her face in her hands, but jumped, startled, when another hand stroked her back.

"Katniss," Johanna breathed, relaxing, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you up."

Katniss wrapped her arms around Johanna's waist, "It's okay, it was just a nightmare. You're here now, with me." She said soothingly. Johanna relaxed into her arms, letting Katniss comfort her.

"I know, I'm sorry." Johanna muttered.

"What was it this time, Jo?" Katniss asked.

She had seen the mutts in her nightmare. The tribute-mutts, the ones Katniss couldn't know about. She had seen their faces. Jaxon and Corin, her district partner in the 71st Games, the thirteen year old boy she had killed, Blight, Mags, Brutus... she had even seen people she'd never really met in the Games, but some Katniss would know: Cato, Clove, and even Thresh and Rue. All zombie like, all tearing each other apart, trying to be the one that comes out victorious. She knew they weren't real, they had been dead a long time, and it was also in her dreams, that should've comforted her even more. But for some reason it still hurt her a little bit. Snow could still do this to her, even long after he had been killed.

"It was nothing," she muttered, shrugging Katniss away and pulling her knees to her chest. She knew Katniss would be hurt by that motion, but she didn't want to be pestered. If Katniss knew what she knew, she would be torn apart. Johanna didn't want that for her wife.

She could hear Katniss sigh, "It didn't sound like nothing." She felt Katniss rustle in the bed beside her, her arms moving from Johanna's waist.

Johanna sighed, and layed down next to Katniss, putting her own arms around the girl's waist this time, kissing the top of her shoulder. "I love you Katniss," she whispered.

Katniss didn't answer.

"I'm sorry," Johanna said again.

"I know you're hiding something from me, Jo." Katniss mumbled, "I wish you didn't feel like you have to keep secrets for me. That's not a very good way to start off a marriage."

Now Johanna was silent. She knew she had to hold strong. She didn't want to lie to Katniss, or keep secrets from her. "It wasn't nothing," Johanna finally said, "But I don't want you to have to worry."

"I will worry Johanna, we've been over this," Katniss turned to face her, "I do love you, I won't keep secrets from you, and I'll let you help me when I'm hurting. How would you feel if I was hurting and I wouldn't let you help me?"

Johanna sighed, she hadn't thought of it that way, "I wouldn't like that at all."

"So now you know how I feel." Katniss was gently stroking her face now. She leaned in to kiss Johanna, pressing their bodies against each other.

"I want to go back to sleep." Johanna said in between kisses. Katniss sighed, and turned her back to Johanna again. Johanna felt terrible, to keep this from her. She knew she would have thrown a fit of sorts if Katniss did this to her. She was lucky she was only getting the cold shoulder. But rather than just accept this, Johanna tucked herself close to Katniss, holding her tight and kissing her neck, before letting herself try and fall back asleep.

* * *

"Have a good night?" Annie asked, peppy as she had ever been.

Johanna couldn't say she was used to seeing Annie like this. It was interesting, for sure, especially having lost Finnick. But she had a reason to be happy, and Kellen was that reason for her. Maybe babies did have a very strong effect on their families.

"Yeah but you could've warned me," Johanna muttered. Annie only laughed, and walked into the house, followed by Rosaline and Peeta, who was holding Kellen's hand as he tried to hobble and walk in on his own. Johanna smiled, surprised by how much the little boy grew, and how, each day, he resembled Finnick more and more.

"She was tossing in her sleep all night, screaming and crying," Peeta muttered, ushering Rosaline forward.

Rosaline looked down at her feet, "Sorry."

"Hm, sounds like someone else." Katniss said coldly, closing the door behind their guests.

But despite that, Rosaline still bounded towards Johanna, grabbing her hands, "We need to go to the forest."

"Okay," Johanna sighed, looking up at everybody else.

Katniss had her arms folded, "I want to come with you."

"I don't think that's a good idea Johanna," Rosaline quickly said, "It didn't work, your plan... I don't think Katniss should come."

Johanna nodded, "You need to stay here with them, okay?" She lightly pecked at Katniss's lips, but Katniss stood there frozen still. She was upset, trying to register all of this. And Johanna knew she needed to get out in the few seconds she had before Katniss processed what Johanna had just told her.

She grabbed the axe from the small collection that had always been by the door and grabbed Rosaline's hand.

"Why do you need that Jo?" Annie muttered, frowning, "Where are you going?"

"I'll be right back!" She promised, and darted out the door with Rosaline. When they were alone, walking at a rather brisk pace towards the forest, Johanna finally started to ask questions, "What do you mean it didn't work? How do you know it didn't work?"

"I think, last night in my sleep I might've ordered them to stop, out of guilt. They're in a lot of pain, they've all been badly injured." Rosaline explained, and as if right on cue, Johanna could hear several different breeds of mutts crying and screaming in pain. The human cries were the worst, though the foxes and wolves weren't much better with their howling.

"So what are we supposed to do?" Johanna asked, shaking her head. She just wanted to go home. She wanted to take Katniss, forget about what was happening, and spend the rest of her life happy with her wife. Maybe start a family, go on vacations, just have fun together. They'd had enough stress as is. They'd dealt with more than most, especially Katniss being the Mockingjay. They deserved to have a little break.

"I thought you might know!" Rosaline yelled, but they kept running towards the sound of the screaming, until they found the source.

There were bodies, everywhere. Dozens of different types of mutts lying dead on the ground, blood covering everything. Bodies cut open, guts spilling out. The stench hit the girls instantly, and Johanna nearly gagged at the smell. It reminded her of the time she had the blood raining down on her.

They kept walking, stepping over the bodies. A fox-mutt was whining nearby, huddled up in pain. He had cuts all over his body, and he was bleeding out, dying a slow and painful death. "Oh no." Rosaline muttered, leaning down next to him, stroking his fur gently. "What have I done?"

Johanna looked around at the couple dozen mutts left. They were all going to die without help, and it was going to be slow and painful. Even she didn't want that for them. Their cries of pain made everything worse. They needed to be dead, but not like this...

"Help me, please!" A voice cried out behind them. Johanna froze. She recognized that voice. One she hadn't heard in years, one she'd never thought she'd hear again. She turned around to see the Corin-mutt lying on the ground, stomach cut open, bleeding. She would bleed out soon enough, but Johanna wasn't sure if she wanted to stay and see that happen. The voice, the face, everything.. it was so much like the woman she had once loved. She had chills running up and down her spine. The confusing part was, she was starting to feel guilty, for falling in love with Katniss now, and all but forgetting that Corin had ever existed. But she knew she had never fallen out of love with the other girl, and even as a dying mutt she was still strikingly beautiful. Not that her old feelings for Corin were resurfacing. No, Johanna wasn't stupid. Corin was dead, and she was now madly crazy in love with Katniss. Nobody could change that.

But that didn't stop it from hurting her.

It was almost instinct, kneeling down next to the Corin-mutt, pressing down on the bleeding stomach to help stop the bleeding. It was no use, the damage was too severe. She was whimpering in pain. Johanna looked behind her to see Rosaline walking around to some of the other mutts, checking up on them.

"Hey, Jo." She heard a whisper. Johanna's eyes widened, as she looked at the Corin-mutt. That was the only possible person who could have just said that. She stared incredulously at the mutt. They weren't supposed to be capable of thought, or memories, so she didn't understand what was going on. "I fought as hard as I could, I'm sorry." She said, biting her teeth. She was having a hard time speaking, and her voice was grainy, but it was still her voice.

"Don't be sorry I... I," Johanna couldn't form words right now. Even Rosaline stopped and looked up at them in wonder. "I'm sorry this happened to you, it's all my fault."

The Corin-mutt smiled and shook her head, "You didn't turn me into a mutt."

"How is she doing that? The talking?" Rosaline said, walking over. "Why didn't you ever talk to me?"

"We would have scared you if you knew," the Corin-mutt said, barely talking in a whisper. She was breathing heavily now, and Johanna felt helpless yet again, "I mean, it's only temporary."

"What is?" Johanna asked, confused.

"My memories," she looked up at Johanna, eyes red but still looking hurt, "Most of the time I'm just a mindless beast, like the rest of them. But sometimes, some of us get our memories back. Like right now. I'm glad you made it Johanna."

"You don't have to say this," Johanna said, averting her gaze.

"I do," the Corin-mutt practically growled, "Because in minutes I'll be back to the mutt version of myself. The kind Snow wanted me to be. Then shortly after that I'll be dead. My memories will fade but for now, at least, I get to know that you're okay."

Johanna nodded, trying take all of this in. So the Tribute Mutts had their memories the whole time. Not like Snow could really take their brains out, just twist them up like he had done with Peeta. Revive their bodies, and turn them into ravaging mutts, but he couldn't take away their memories. That made it all the more harder, because now these Tribute Mutts were dying for a second time. The first time couldn't have been so easy, so this probably wasn't any better.

"What the hell is all of this?" A voice shrieked behind them.

Johanna's head whipped around, and Katniss and Peeta were standing there, looking upon the mass amount of bodies, dead and alive, lying around. They booth looked horror stricken.

Katniss locked eyes with Johanna, who was still trying to help save the dying Corin-mutt. "This is what you were keeping from me?" Katniss asked, looking as if she were on the verge of tears. "What did you do?"


	57. Chapter 57

Katniss wasn't supposed to see any of this. Johanna was slightly mad that Katniss had followed them out here and didn't stay back. But she couldn't really bother with being mad at her right now. That was the least of her worries now.

Johanna wanted to get up and comfort Katniss, or walk her away from the scene so that she didn't have to see this anymore. The Rue-mutt had to be out there somewhere. She didn't want Katniss to see that, or any of the other faces she was familiar with. But at the same time, she wanted to stay by the Corin-mutt, until she died because she couldn't save it's life.

"Oh my..." Peeta muttered, taking a few steps forward and kneeling over a dead mutt. "It's Clove." He and Katniss shared a glance, and Johanna knew what happened. The both of them were brought back to their Games, memories triggered. The nightmares would start up again for both of them. Johanna was just very grateful that Annie and Kellen had stayed behind. "What is all of this?" Peeta asked Rosaline. He was a little more calm, more like his normal self. Katniss was standing still, fuming over what she was seeing, while Johanna just watched her carefully from where she was kneeling.

"They're my mutts." Rosaline said, "I wanted to exterminate them for good, but it didn't work out like I thought it would."

"You're like a disease, you know?" Katniss hissed at Rosaline, "Bad things always seem to happen when you're around. Did you really think this was going to work?"

"Hey!" Johanna cut in. Rosaline looked like she was about to cry, "It was my idea, not hers. She came to me to ask how to get rid of them and my idea didn't work."

"They're hurting, is there anything we can do to help?" Peeta asked, going to one of the still living Tribute Mutts and taking her hand. Johanna couldn't tell who it was from where she was.

"I don't know," Johanna muttered. As she said that, the Corin-mutt stole her attention back, clutching desperately at Johanna's hand and crying out in pain. Johanna faced her, "Shh, it's okay. It's going to be okay." She held the Corin-mutt's hand firmly, as if that would help at all. Clearly, that wasn't going to make a difference.

She heard footsteps getting closer to them. "Corin?" Katniss's voice said softly, as she squatted down by them. She didn't look half as mad as she did a few seconds ago, but that was probably because of the helpless look on Johanna's face. Johanna nodded. "How many others were there?"

"A few dozen of us," the Corin-mutt said through her grunts of pain.

Katniss jumped back, "What the? She can talk? Does she know who we are?"

"She knows who I am, I don't know about you..." Johanna muttered.

"You must be Katniss," the Corin-mutt said softly, though she was having a tough time speaking. Katniss nodded. "Rosaline spoke about you two, how she didn't like you much because you got all of Johanna's attention." Johanna glanced up at Rosaline, who averted her gaze, blushing from this. Katniss frowned. "I can see why though."

The Corin-mutt laughed, but it turned into a pained choking sound. Then, almost instantly, she was gone, consumed by the mutt she had been turned into. She thrashed out, despite the pain, knocking Johanna down. Rosaline looked confused, like she couldn't control her at all. Johanna leaped forward to tackle the mutt to the ground, right as she was lunging at Katniss. After that, the mutt couldn't move any more. She whimpered in pain until, finally, she stopped breathing.

Johanna got up, and stumbled away from her, only to be met by Katniss's embrace. "It's okay, Jo. It was just a mutt, it wasn't really her." Katniss whispered softly to her.

"I know," Johanna said, shaking her head and turning to face Katniss, "Are you alright?" Katniss nodded. "I'm sorry I kept this from you, I just..."

"It's okay," Katniss said, stroking her hair, "Just don't keep anything else from me, okay?"

"Okay, deal." Johanna said, forcing a small smile. Katniss leaned down and kissed her.

"Umm," Rosaline coughed, "What are we going to do about the rest of the mutts?"

Katniss looked up at her, a ferocity in her eyes. She was still clearly angry at Rosaline, but Johanna gently placed one of her hands on Katniss. It was only then that she realized her hands were covered in blood. Regardless, Katniss relaxed at the touch.

Johanna turned to Rosaline, "I don't think there's anything else we can do. They've done their damage."

"I agree, I mean, it's a little dangerous over here." Peeta said from where he was, setting the now dead Tribute Mutt on the ground.

Johanna stood up, "Yeah, I don't want anybody to get hurt. We should just go." She turned to Katniss and spoke softer, "I really wish you didn't have to see this."

"I wish you didn't have to see it either," Katniss said, looking sad. She wrapped her arms around Johanna's waist and rested against her. "I don't like seeing you hurt the way you do. You have such a big heart and you care so much."

"And I shouldn't, because I always get hurt," Johanna muttered to herself.

"Not anymore, not if I can help it." Katniss said, squeezing her tighter. Johanna would have hugged Katniss back, but she didn't want to touch her anymore right now, since she was covered in blood. Katniss noticed this, "We need to get you washed up."

"So we're just going to leave them?" Rosaline asked, tears lining her eyes.

Peeta shrugged, and walked over to her, to take her hand, "We don't have much of a choice. Let's get out of here before they start attacking us again. This sound is making me sick.

* * *

Johanna was in the bathtub, scrubbing the dried blood off of her arms. Katniss sat beside the tub, on the outside, staying with her as Johanna always requested.

They were alone again, since Peeta and Annie took Rosaline with them again for another night. Annie had asked a bunch of questions about where they had gone, and Peeta explained that it was best if she didn't know. Annie hadn't like that answer, but she'd get over it eventually. Quicker than the rest of them, who still had these nightmares to recover from.

"What are we going to do about Rosaline?" Johanna mumbled, looking up at Katniss.

Katniss shrugged, "What do you want to do, Jo?"

"She feels like I abandoned her. She feels alone, and she is."

Katniss shook her head, "No she's not. She has someone who cares very much about her. Look, I'm just going to say it. I know you want her to stay with us and I'm okay with that."

"You are?" Johanna was truly surprised.

"Yeah, because I know it will make you happy." Katniss smiled at her. Johanna returned the smile. "I mean I wish she didn't hate me."

"She doesn't hate you." Johanna laughed, "Hey, come here." She took Katniss's hands in her own, "I can't help it if I can't take my eyes off of you."

Katniss blushed, "Well... If the Council lets us take Rosaline back, I'll be alright with it. She's a good kid, she just needs to figure some things out."

"Screw the Council," Johanna rolled her eyes, "They're going to kill her if we let them have her back."

"Why?"

"Because they're just as messed up as the Government before them, but I guess that's politics for you." Johanna shrugged.

Katniss laughed, and shook her head. But she changed the subject, "You should probably clean the tub out now..."

"Why-" Johanna looked down and saw that the water was a murky red. "Oh. I guess you won't be wanting to come in here with me now."

"Well, maybe if you change out the water I'll consider it." Katniss smirked. Johanna looked up at her, laughing and rolling her eyes. But she felt some semblance of happiness again, being here with Katniss. She remembered that no matter how bad things got, she could feel some sort of happiness at the end of the day being with Katniss.


End file.
